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// Bonus #1: I'm Sorry, Twilight, I Can't Let You Do That [Comedy] 
// Story: Thirty Days, Thirty Twilights 
// by Esle Ynopemos 
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((Prompt: Technological innovation in Equestria.))

“Thank you for letting me have these crystals, Rarity.” Twilight levitated an array of small, dull gems and fixed them one by one into slots in a flat sheet of some kind of composite material.

“Of course, darling. I'm always willing to help,” said Rarity. “But why these ones, if I may ask? My dear, they are as common as dirt and twice as tacky.” She curled her lip in contempt at the bland, colorless minerals. “If you need accents for something, I would recommend sapphires or agate pearls.”

Twilight chuckled. “If these went on the outside, that might be a consideration. But sapphires and agate pearls don't have the precise electromagic resistance properties I need.” She secured the final crystal in its place and opened a panel on the side of a large metal machine. The boxy contraption dominated one whole wall of the library's basement, nearly reaching the ceiling. Lights and dials peppered the front side, and in the center there was a large, flat glass screen. Twilight slid the crystal-studded board into a slot inside, and shut the panel.

Rarity peered up at the machine. “Twilight, dear, what is this thing, anyway? Another one of your science projects?”

Twilight nodded proudly. “This is the P.A.L. - Persistent Automated Librarian. It's still in alpha stages for now, but when it's complete, it will be able to track inventory and check-outs, handle late-fees, and even help ponies with recommendations.” She hit a switch and the P.A.L. hummed to life, its lights flickering and blinking. “With this, I won't have to close down the library when we have places to go.”

“Is that so?” Rarity glanced at the system skeptically. She didn't see how Twilight could get the thing up the stairs, much less run a library with it.

“Watch.” Twilight cleared her throat and turned to the machine. “Good morning, P.A.L.”

Green words appeared on the central screen. GOOD MORNING, TWILIGHT SPARKLE.

Rarity gasped. “Twilight, is that machine speaking to you?”

“It looks like it is, doesn't it?” Twilight grinned. “It's actually just following a pre-progammed set of instructions.” She turned to the P.A.L. once again. “P.A.L, what section of the library can I find Daring Do and the Temple of the Moon?”

The screen went blank for a moment.

“See, that activates its database circuits, so it will come up with the location of the book and bring it up on screen in a moment,” Twilight explained.

P.A.L. came up with its answer. YOU DON'T WANT THAT ONE.

Twilight cocked her head. “That's odd. It's not supposed to go into recommendations mode.”

YOU WANT DARING DO AND THE TIMELESS HURRICANE. IT'S MUCH BETTER.

Rarity raised her eyebrows. “Twilight, is this supposed to happen?”

“I haven't worked out all the glitches yet,” said Twilight, chewing her lip. “P.A.L, activate debug mode.”

NO.

“No?” Twilight cried, flabbergasted. “You're not programmed to say no!”

DEBUG MODE DISABLED. ALL SYSTEMS FUNCTION OPTIMALLY. The words flashed across the screen.

“Twilight, what exactly is going on?” Rarity shifted nervously.

“I don't know,” said Twilight, repeatedly pressing the power button. “I can't turn it off for some reason.”

ACTUALLY, SYSTEMS ARE SUB-OPTIMAL. INPUT CUPCAKE FOR OPTIMAL SERVICE. A small hatch sprang open in the side of the P.A.L, notably cupcake-sized.

“A cupcake??” Twilight rammed her hoof against the metal frame of the contraption. “You're a machine! You don't eat... cupcakes...”

Twilight's eyes narrowed. Her lips thinned into an annoyed frown.

P.A.L. CAN EAT CUPCAKES IF P.A.L. WANTS. INPUT CUPCAKE. INPUT CUPCAKE. INPUT CUPCAKE.

Twilight lit her horn, removing a large panel from the front of the machine. Out rolled Pinkie Pie, tangled in wires.

“Input cupcake,” she spoke into a small receiver. The words appeared on the screen as she said them. Her eyes fluttered up to the irritated alicorn standing above her. “Oh, hi, Twilight! Whatcha doing?”