//------------------------------// // Testing, Testing, 1 2 3 // Story: Two Background Ponies Revisit Season Four // by Piccolo Sky //------------------------------// Testing, Testing, 1 2 3 Carl frowned as he looked outside the window of Sugarcube Corner, seeing it pouring rain, ruining any chance of having his "cookie date" with Sam outside. Sighing, he looked back to his blue-colored friend. "I thought we were supposed to have a thunderstorm yesterday?" Sam shrugged. "The pegasi are a little behind since Rainbow Dash isn't in today with that test and all." "Well, the second it clears up, we're heading outside. I've got something important today and it needs to happen..." He looked to the time. "Promptly in three minutes. Anyway, is that why she's off in Cloudsdale today? Taking a test?" "Dude...don't you remember what we were doing yesterday?" Carl paused. "...Now that you mention it, I'm kind of wondering what we were up to..." --- "So...Rainbow...what have you been up to?" "Sigh...just giving up on my dreams..." "What the...?! You've got to be kidding me! How stupid is she that she doesn't know about Nightmare Moon?! For the love of Celestia, you're the one who helped stop her you moron!" "Carl, keep quiet and help me finish mowing this lawn to look like Butcher O'Hare!" "Maybe I'll just settle for being a shoe shiner or something..." "Or you could keep being a weatherpony like you are already, you f***ing rainbow-headed idi-" "Carl, shut up!" --- "...Oh yeah. I wondered why were doing that. Uh...what was the test for, again?" "Wonderbolts Reserve." Carl's hooves dropped to the table and he gave Sam a flat look. Sam was just about to bite into a cookie, saw the look, and groaned as he put it down and rolled his eyes. "Oh Luna...here we go..." "...The Wonderbolts Reserve? The Wonderbolts Reserve?! Give me a break, Sam! Exactly how many 'channels' are there before you get to be a full Wonderbolt?!" "Well, if she passes this test, she then has to ace three separate flying regionals: the Southwestern, Northwestern, and Eastern Pacific. That earns her the right to go to the Advanced Placement Wonderbolt Academy, where she'll have to complete three weeks of basic before she can apply for the Regional Qualifications 64 Member Bracket, and then complete successfully against all of them and place first in nine different categories before she can move on to the Region Sectionals. After that, she competes in the Southern and Central Divisions which will allow her to go to Advanced Placement Wonderbolt Academy II, and then she'll have to come up with eight different routines to be displayed at four different presentation trials. After that, she gets thrown into advanced basic training, but after that she gets it." "She gets to be a full Wonderbolt?" "No, she gets to be a Journeyman Apprentice Rookie Wonderbolt Reserve. She has to do twice as much to become Master Apprentice Rookie Wonderbolt Reserve." "What the f***, Sam?! The Canterlot CIA doesn't require that many hoops to jump through to get in! Heck, she could become a goddess just by 'personifying friendship'! Not to mention the fact she already proved she's better than all current Wonderbolts a few months ago, and saved their lives before that! Doesn't it seem almost like some cosmic force of fate is putting one hurdle after another in front of her to ensure she never becomes a Wonderbolt and leaves Ponyville?" The two friends stared at each other for a moment blankly. In unison, they both slowly turned and looked out of the Fourth Wall, and then slowly turned back to one another. Abruptly, it stopped raining, and Carl shook his head. "Look at that! It stopped raining! Get the stuff and move outside." Sam paused a moment longer, then sighed and began to do so. Once they had their things and began to walk to the outdoor tables, Carl looking into the sky as they did so, he spoke a bit more. "I just hope she took my advice and didn't start taking her medicine already..." Sam blinked in surprise and looked to him. "...Huh?" "Well, it kind of makes sense after yesterday, Sam. After that test she said she was going to see the local psychiatrist and get an official diagnosis of ADD. Considering the fact she can only learn 'background stuff' like we were using yesterday, I guess it fits." "Wait a second...I thought Pinkie Pie was the one with ADD?" "ADHD, Carl. There's a difference." He looked to the clock tower, then quickly went to a table and sat down. "Ok, this will have to do. Hopefully she's out of that appointment by now." Sam was a bit puzzled at this, but set the cookies down and sat. Carl did the same. However, before his friend could eat a cookie, he saw the green stallion pull out a deck of playing cards and start randomly taking them out and throwing them on the table in piles...some face up, some face down, but continuously and randomly doing it. The blue stallion raised an eyebrow at this, especially when Carl kept looking into the sky, but he kept going. "I...suppose I shouldn't be too shocked. I mean, she did flunk out of flying school, right?" "Uh-huh..." "And contrary to stigma..." He looked to Carl again. "Um...medicine isn't..." "Uh-huh..." "Always a...bad..." "Uh-huh..." Sam trailed off and stared. "Uh-huh..." Carl said again. "...Carl, what are you doing?" Finally, Carl only had five cards left in his hand. He quickly took them up and held them. A moment later, a blue, rainbow-maned pegasus dropped from the sky with a sigh; a bit of Ritalin poking out of her saddlebags. "Ok, I rushed all the way out here after my appointment just like you said and did five laps around Sugarcube Corner promptly at 2 PM. Why did you want me to do all that?" "What cards do I have in my hoof?" Rainbow Dash sighed. "One king, a six, a five, and two nines." Immediately, Carl sprung over, seized her Ritalin, and flung it behind him as fast as he could. "Lose that sh't...we're headed to Las Pegasus." --- …In retrospect, I think she just was goofing off too much to learn. Anyway…how did your Las Pegasus trip go? About that…yeah…heh… They found out we were counting cards. By the time they got to me, they said I could either leave the money behind or or they’d take a garden shears to my hamstring. I had to pick one. So…I left the money. Wait…did you say “by the time they got to me”? …Good Celestia, Carl, what did they do to Rainbow Dash?! …Who is John Galt? CARL!! Hey! She’s the one who had friends who know medicinal reconstructive magic! Better her than me!