//------------------------------// // Somepony to Watch Over Me // Story: Two Background Ponies Revisit Season Four // by Piccolo Sky //------------------------------// Somepony to Watch Over Me When you choose a different addressing service besides Pacific Shells to get you the right addresses for your mail, you end up spending more than you expected. A shot of a cowgirl pony ruefully shelling out more bits to a bill collector while her family looks on. When you spend more than you expected, you can't make ends meet. A shot of the cowgirl pony looking uncomfortable over stacks of bills and running an ancient adding machine as she writes figures. When you can't make ends meet, you have to sell pies to those hillbilly ponies on the other side of the county. A shot of the cowgirl pony and her older brother loading up carts. When you sell pies to those hillbilly ponies on the other side of the county, you have to leave your little sister home alone. A shot of a filly with a large red bow dancing around as a phonograph plays. When you leave your little sister home alone, you get worried about her. A shot of the cowgirl pony turning around and running home less than a quarter mile from the house. When you get worried about her, you become overprotective. A shot of a frowning filly as her older sister "filly-proofs" everything. When you become overprotective, she sets out to prove herself. A shot of the filly hitching herself to the pie wagon and beginning to take it out herself. When she sets out to prove herself, she ends up in the Dread Fire Swamp. A shot of the filly nervously trying not to be incinerated as she walks along. When she ends up in the Dread Fire Swamp, a chimera tries to eat her. A shot of the filly running in terror from the three-headed monster. Don't let a chimera try to eat your little sister. Choose Pacific Shells. --- "...Well?" Carl raised an eyebrow as he looked over the ad for Sam's company. "I dunno...kind of sounds like fearmongering to me. Did she really end up doing all that because she didn't use your company for address redirection?" "Beats me. I didn't write it." The blue stallion answered with a shrug. "They just told us to show this around instead of hiring focus groups and see what ponies think." "Well...keep it away from that 'Hats and Bows' outlet two blocks down the street from 'Quills and Couches'." Carl answered as he passed the ad back. "They get 80 percent of their income from the Apple Family." Sam grimaced. "Too late. One of the interns already did. Look." The two looked up and out, and soon saw a small brigade of hatters and ribbon weavers charging down the street armed with fire-proof boots, lion-taming chairs, snake-charmer flutes, and ricotta cheese charging toward the swamp area of the county. Carl stared a moment. "...You ever think they could have settled Ponyville somewhere with less monsters, Sam?" "Yeah," Sam answered. "But the local government is so nice." --- That one was just plain confusing, Sam. Yeah…not a whole lot of people were familiar with the Confucius joke at the end… The end? I’m talking about that ad at the beginning. Oh. It’s a parody of a Direct TV ad. …What’s Direct TV? It’s local. You know…like Jack in the Box ads. …What’s Jack in the Box? …That’s also regional. Kind of like Carl’s Jr. …What’s Carl’s Jr.? …Um…who is John Galt? Well why didn’t you say so to begin with!