//------------------------------// // Pinkie Apple Pie // Story: Two Background Ponies Revisit Season Four // by Piccolo Sky //------------------------------// Pinkie Apple Pie Sam and Carl were enjoying one of their "cookie outings" together at a local cafe, although for once they didn't seem to be engaged in their normal discussions. Sam, on his part, was looking over a couple sets of scrolls, only partially unrolled at a time, quirking an eyebrow as he ran his hoof over them. As for Carl, he was looking at a camera around his neck on a special spring-loaded collar, and fiddling with it. He seemed he was trying to get it to pop up, but it wasn't coming. Gritting his teeth, he fooled with it for a little before only "half" of it sprang up and poked him in the eye. "OW! Son-of-a-b***h! This stupid piece of crap is going to blind me before I get it fixed!" "Hey Carl, check this out." Grumbling a bit, Carl yanked the camera off, slammed it to the table, and then went over to Sam. "What?" "I was looking over these geneologies for me and Dawn's family tree, seeing as the wedding is coming up and all, and check it... Our families are related!" "Really?" "Yeah, right here. In the year 881, In the Year of Celestia, my great-great-great-grandfather, Matthias-Pays-Attention-to-Samuel was married to Fionne Charger, second daughter of Ignatius Podran Charger, also known as 'I. Pod' Charger." "No kidding? Let me see that..." The green stallion looked it over for a moment. He soon gulped. "Eh...Sam? You're not going to like this...but look at these names a bit earlier than that..." Sam looked where he pointed, and soon narrowed his gaze. "Let's see...Frederick-Heeds-the-Concerns-of-Roderick was married to...Ink Mover. So?" "Dude...look over here. They changed their last name to 'Pusher' after the Great Apple Famine of the 800s." Sam's jaw dropped. "No way...you're not saying I'm actually related to that son-of-a-boss at work, are you?!" "Afraid so..." Carl grimaced as he looked down again. Then, suddenly, he looked up a bit. "Sam, Sam! Look at this!" Almost afraid to, Sam looked down at another set of records. "I'm not sure I want to... But...looks like during the Auxois and Mustang Wars in the 600s..." He paused, and then blinked. "...Lucille-Heareth-Yon-Weeping-of-Annabelle was married to Sir Connerrundrum of Enigma..." He gasped a bit, and then looked to Carl. "Dude...I'm actually distantly related to you?!" "Neat, huh?" Sam's face fell a bit. "Actually makes me feel a little dirty to know I have 'Carl' genes annoying my other genes 24/7..." "What was that, Sam?" The blue stallion blanched...but then hesitated. "Wait a sec...hold on. According to this, Lucille's father was... Apfelwein the Third from Pferdeland..." "...So?" "Dude...that's the old phonetic spelling for 'Apple Wine'. I'm related to the Apple family!" "Huh?" Carl looked down, and blinked again. "Hang on a second... Conner's mother was named Hostessa Kreme Pie! I'm related to the ADHD pony who works here!" "Hang on a second..." Sam muttered, soon looking all over the geneology. As he did, he raised his head and looked at various earth ponies as they passed. He seemed to be checking each one. He unrolled the other scrolls and did the same. Carl waited for a few moments, before Sam finally looked up in astonishment. "Uh...Carl? I don't think there's a single earth pony in town we aren't related to. Likely a single earth pony in Equestria. In fact...I'm going to go so far as to say every earth pony in this entire country is a distant cousin of every other earth pony." The green stallion blinked in astonishment, but then formed something of an uneasy look and a shrug. "Well...earth ponies are traditionally 'rural folk', Sam...and...well...you know the stereotype..." The blue one grimaced a bit in response. "...That's pretty sick, dude. This isn't a family tree. It's more of a family 'net'. Our genetic codes probably 'lap' themselves..." Both ponies looked a bit grim as they slumped into their seats and stared forward. "Well Sam...you know what this means, right?" "...That I need to head to the doctor to see how many genetic disorders I'm at risk for considering how inbred my ancestors were?" "No..." Carl answered, before he began to get enthused and grin. "It means we are totally crashing the next Apple Family Reunion for free food and fermented cider! Now let's hurry up and pay the tab so we can get to that big bat mitzvah downtown and score free cake!” --- So…if we’re that inbred naturally…how bad do you think those hillbilly ponies later this season were? Who is John Galt? …Huh? It means: “Don’t ask a question you really don’t want to know the answer to.”, Sam. …Good point.