Chapter 2 Finding Faults
The word spread like pulp in a cider press. A new doctor was in town, a doctor for the mind. Spike had confided in Twilight Sparkle about his session with doctor Flimp, and she had told Applejack, who had told her family, who had told the rest of the town. Spike was going back for some hypnosis that would bring him back to his early childhood. Then he would see why he sometimes cramped up in demanding situations, and maybe he would be cured. Whatever trauma was in his head, doctor Flimp would pry it out and make it go away.
“Sounds like hogwash to me” Granny Smith said. “I don´t need no fancy pansy to tell me what I feel. But if they had some elixir, now that would be something! There´s nothing like a good, strong elixir to fire the spirits!”
Soon another new sign was hanging beside the first one. The new sign said “Dr Flamp´s pharmacy. Pills, potions and elixirs for all ailments”. Granny Smith was the first one to enter and ask for the most potent elixir they had. Behind the desk was a mocha stallion in a white coat and with half moon shaped glasses och plastic gloves on his hooves.
“Our most potent elixirs are on prescription” he said. “You have to see Dr Flimp first”.
When Granny Smith had been to doctor Flimp, and been diagnosed with Alzpony disease, there was no reason for anyone else to think twice about attempting it. Everypony was talking about the amazing doctor Flimp, who had cured Princess Luna from evil and helped her mend her relationship with her sister. Not that the doctor had actually said that himself, but what else would give him the right to use the royal seal? They all started to think about themselves in a new way and wonder how they could become less quirky. Obviously, doctor Flimp was the solution. For an hourly fee, he would test you left right and center, tag you with a scientific sounding diagnosis and give you a prescription to ease whatever was troubling you.
“I have hyperactive muzzle and hoof disorder” Pinkie Pie said to Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle and Applejack after bouncing out of doctor Flimp´s surgery.
“Couldn´t stay on that couch for more than ten seconds. Tried to take a test, and wouldn´t stand still for that either! Now I have a prescription for Concertina, Nitawit and Buggerall. You should all go and see the doctor! Come on!”
“I don´t think I´d be comfortable telling a stranger about myself like that” Fluttershy said. “What if he finds something wrong with me?”
“Why, that´s the point!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “Haven´t you heard? Everyone is getting a diagnosis nowadays. It´s the new cutiemark. Yesterday my sister Maud came to visit me, and I took her to doctor Flimp. He said she had Assburg syndrome. Typical case, he said. Now doesn´t that sound fancy?”
Pinkie, being Pinkie, didn´t take her friend´s no for an answer. She pushed Fluttershy into the surgery and closed the door. When she came out, she was hanging her head.
“He said I have Sluggish Cockamamie Trifle” she said. “Plus a bit of ADD, Additional Dorky Disease. And now you all have to take a class about how to deal with me.”
The next person to see the doctor was Twilight Sparkle.
“ I´m not afraid” she said. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with me. I´m completely normal, and soon I´ll have a paper from the doctor that says so.”
“Don´t worry” Pinkie chirped. “I´m sure the doctor will find some way to help you too.”
And she was right. When Twilight came out, she looked very puzzled.
“I didn´t realize I was so hooked up on details” she said. “I´m a perfectionist. Can´t deal with a mess, it freaks me out. My need for control is obsessive. The doctor says I have OCD. Apparently that stands for Obvious Controlfreak Disorder. Now I have to go back every day for 36 weeks and take something called CBT.”
“CBT?” Applejack repeated with a frown.
“ Curling Becomes Tiresome. Hope it´s more fun than it sounds.”
“Well, I´m not going in there.” Applejack crossed her front legs. “I just don´t need it”.
“Everypony needs it.” Pinkie Pie said. “The doctor told me so.”
“Well, then I don’t want to. And you can´t make me.”
“What are you so afraid of?”
Doctor Flimp was in the doorway and made them all jump. He was smiling at Applejack with his glasses on the tip of his muzzle.
“Do you find it difficult to talk about yourself?” he asked. “That tends to happen when you have suppressed childhood memories.”
“ I don´t have suppressed memories!” Applejack exclaimed. “I hardly have any memories at all from my childhood! Would y´all just leave me alone!”
“Well, that is what ponies with suppressed memories say. Luckily, your friends are here to help you get over your panic. You know it´s for your own good. Ladies?”
At a glance from doctor Flimp, Applejack´s friends all helped to coax her into the surgery and onto the couch. The doctor took out a pendulum and begun swinging it in front of Applejacks face. After some wiggling, she fell calm. Her eyes were focused on the pendulum and her mouth slightly open, a drop of drool running down her cheek.
“You are a little fillie” doctor Flimp said in a soothing voice. “Where are your parents?”
“They are dead.” Applejack whispered.
“What happened?”
“They were bucking apples. But they were drunk on strong cider. They bucked each other instead of the tree. I saw it. I saw the blood. Ma and Pa not moving. I ran to get Granny Smith to get help, but it was too late. Maybe if I had run faster. Maybe if I had stopped them from drinking so much cider…”
Applejack sobbed, but she could not take her eyes of the pendulum. Her friends could hardly look at her face. So this was the secret of the Apple family!
“I think we should call this off…” Twilight Sparke tried, but Dr Flimp hushed her.
“Go on.” he said to Applejack. “What happened then?”
“Granny Smith told me to keep this a secret. We didn´t want bad publicity. We didn’t want people to stop buying our cider. We had to be brave and never, never talk about my parents again. So we buried them in the orchard, under the biggest apple tree on the hill. Big Mac didn´t know and Apple Bloom was just a tiny baby. I swore by my parents´grave that I would always take care of her and protect her.”
By now, Pinkie Pie was crying so hard the sound broke the hypnosis. Applejack sat up and pressed her hooves to her forehead.
“What in darnation are you crying about?” she asked. “My head aches!”
“Oh nothing” doctor Flimp said. “But I do recommend that you take these pills and come back tomorrow. You clearly have untreated PTSD, Pony Toddler Stress Disorder. I recommend that your brother and sister come too. I´ll give you a family discount!”
He handed her a prescription, and they were all out the door.
“What did I say in there?” Applejack asked. “All I remember is that stupid pendulum.”
Her friends looked at each other.
“Maybe you should just take the doctors orders” Twilight Sparkle said. “And bring your family.”