//------------------------------// // Hidden: Not Really A Nice Place // Story: Horn And Wings // by Nameless Narrator //------------------------------// A coward dies a thousand deaths whereas a hero dies only once. Standing behind a bar and cleaning some glasses, Blazing Light wasn't having exactly a bad time but was thinking about the value of friendship as the pony in front of him kept crying about his love life. At least he had a love life, lucky bastard. The promise to his sexy boss that he'd help this evening was sort of weighing on his mind more and more the longer the washed-out noble kept on talking but being a bartender for one evening wasn't difficult and he'd get some bits as a bonus to his coal duty. The noblepony slumped from his chair and landed on the ground leaving two other helpers pulling him to the kitchen where he would promtly be delivered to his house via a carriage. Blazing grinned and looked around. The party was in full swing, everypony was mingling and most importantly nopony was paying attention to him and he was free to keep looking for a black batpony doubtlessly trying to win over a lesser noble for the night. Eventually he succeeded and had to snicker when he saw his boss surrounded by stallions and mares on all sides fighting for her attention. After few days in her occasional company he didn't exactly have his hopes up but it seemed that she liked him. That of course didn't mean she would want to know him deeper but at least he got a smile from her now and then. Now, seeing the asskissers around her, he knew she could have anything she wanted from any of those ponies. He should just stick to attainable dreams - a roof over his head and something warm to eat. Or perhaps, you know, maybe down the road... in few years... as they say... if, by some stroke of luck, he got somewhere from hauling coal in Canterlot castle he could ask her out on a date or two... Blazing's sadistic grin would shock anypony not knowing its target was Blazing himself. He cursed the little hope remaining and returned to cleaning glasses. To his surprise there was a pegasus mare standing in front of the bar and talking to him, at least trying to talk to him. Her features were somewhat obscured by the gems laid out on her body in a pattern leading everypony looking at her to slide their gaze all over her body and begin panting. The only other eye-catching point was her emerald eyes seemingly looking deep into Blazing right now. He couldn't believe his luck when she, when he offered her a drink, said she would want his company more than just some wine and that the two of them should find a place where nopony would bother their little chat. Blazing looked around, saw his boss still flirting with suitors and decided he deserved at least something for his efforts so he abandoned his promise of helping through the evening and followed the pegasus out of the ballroom. When they found a quiet spot he got exactly what he deserved. The pegasus revealed her sharp teeth and thoughtfully left the castle and a unicorn corpse while planning what to do with the information she recieved. "Evening, mayor!" I smile at the brown, grey-maned mare sitting behind a desk. "Ah, you're here about the house, miss...?" "Choking Darkness but call me Darky, please." "Alright, miss Darky. The house is vacant and for sale but I'm afraid I have to warn you that some of the previous inhabitants seemed a bit unsettled by it." "Yeah, doc told me the place was haunted." "Well, whatever the rumors are the place definitely isn't home to any supernatural fenomena. We had princess Sparkle take a look at it and she said there was nothing unusual about the place. I guess the previous owners just needed an excuse to move out without upsetting their neighbors." "Okaaaaay?" "Nevermind that. If you're still interested then I have the deeds right here," Mayor Mare pulls out a set of papers from a drawer in her desk, "All it takes is the bits and a signature." "Sure. Let me just get a check for?" "Three thousand bits." "That's actually REALLY cheap. You must be dying to sell the place." "Well, you know, bad reputation, no real maintenance done for past two years. I'll be glad to have it off my hooves." "Here you go," I say as calm as possible. There is just a liiiiitle problem with all this. Even with the place being super cheap I'm not really a mare focused on saving money so I may have, just a bit, forged Blaze's signature in my checkbook to get access to his funds. Unfortunately, trying to sneak something by a civil servant is like trying to hide very smelly cheese from a sewer rat. "This is a joint check co-signed by your husband?" "Eeh yeah, totally." "Is he around?" "Nope, still packing our things back in Canterlot." "I'll have to have the signature compared to the original kept at the bank. You should be notified of the transaction within two days." I sigh. "Fine, the sooner the better. I understand your concern but how could a batpony like me forge a unicorn signature? Has that actually ever happened before?" The mention of my 'unicorn husband' seems to be enough for the official to let it slide and sign the ownership papers. Normally I would have been slightly appaled (VERY slightly) at the notion that a high-ranked civil servant could ignore a possible (and very real) fraud but now I just smile inwardly and pass her the check. "It happens from time to time but it's always easy to figure out," she thinks for a moment, "You know what? You look credible and from what I've heard from doctor Bright Eye you are helping in the local asylum so I won't push it." Yeah, it's not at all because she wants to pawn off the place on some poor soul without any regards for their safety. "Thank you. By the way... what were the completely fake reasons for past tenants leaving?" "Well, they mentioned hearing flapping of wings and hoofsteps at night and sometimes they felt very weak in the morning but, as I said, we had the princess of Magic herself take a look at the house and there's nothing wrong with it aside from slight disrepair." "Meh. It seems to me like some of the neighbors just kept making noises and they couldn't sleep so they left." "Exactly," Mayor Mare agrees. We trade absolutely insincere smiles and I leave with the deed to the house in my saddlebag. "Don't try to lie to the liar, bitch," I mumble smugly to myself after leaving the town hall. "Eeew, the vampire is here," whispers somepony inside the Sugarcube Corner, one of the local bakeries where one of the Elements works. It seems that evening is a rush hour for this estabilishment as most working ponies want to grab something to eat after shifts. That also means that my successful avoiding of grabbing unwanted attention for past days ends here. I don't think the owners mind my presence here because money is money but the locals quite obviously aren't used to batponies being around. "She thinks she's gonna fool us by buying some food but I heard that Roseluck's pet hamster was found dead without a drop of blood left." Roseluck... Roseluck... Right, one of my new neighbors. Well, if that rumor is true then I probably shouldn't expect any housewarming gifts. "She doesn't even have proper wings. I bet she's useless at hunting now so she got kicked out of their little vampire village and has to-" What? I dare you to continue that line of thought, you little wimp. No... I'm actually wondering what piece of bullcrap your mind can follow that with. "-give her body to the doctor at the asylum so he lets her feed on the patients who can't defend themselves." It takes all my self-control not to beat that little shit to a pulp. All this also makes me wonder whether the locals have any idea how good my hearing is but then the thought comes to me that they might know it full well and are just loud enough to make me recieve the message. Waiting patiently in the line gets more and more difficult as the stupidity of insults rises but when I don't make a move and don't suddenly bite the neck of the pony standing in front of me the patrons eventually get hungry and return to their food. "Hey, miss Cake," I greet the chubby blue earthpony working the counter. "Hello, Darky. What'll it be?" "Hot chocolate and two strawberry bagels." "That's quite a calorie bomb. A fit young lady like you wouldn't want to end up like chubby old me," she smiles widely. "Don't sell yourself short, miss Cake. I know more than enough stallions who would fall head over heels for somepony of your stature." "They'd have to go through my husband first then," she wiggles her bottom slightly so it's just me who sees it, "because all this is his." I can't help myself and grin widely. The blue mare was the first pony to speak to me aside from the doc and my coming here every day is something I need not to snap at somepony. "I wish I had somepony to wiggle my bottom for," I sigh. "You're sweet enough even without my baking to land somepony nice." "It's sorta hard when half of the stallions here think I'll suck their blood rather than their... nevermind," I stuff a hoof into my mouth. The salesmare snorts and covers her mouth as well. "Oh don't mind them," she waves her hoof when she stops blushing, "They always come around eventually. It's like the time when Zecora was considered a brain-eating shaman who kidnapped little fillies." "Zecora?" "She's a zebra witch-doctor who lives in the Everfree forest and who is now more than welcome whenever ponies around here need somepony to treat their illness." "Well... it gives me hope at least," I present the usual amount of bits when mister Cake comes with my order. "Don't worry. Everything will be all right." I wish I could believe that. "Thanks. Have a nice evening." "You too, Darky." Mrs. Cake isn't the only pony who doesn't shy away from me but most of the younger ones do. Her positive attitude, and her and her husband's baking, is something that brightens my day every single time though. Sipping my hot chocolate through a straw I turn to leave when an obviously furious cream-colored earthpony with reddish mane and a rose cutie mark storms through the door. "Where is that monster?!" After turning her head around her eyes focus on me and narrow considerably. "YOU!" "Err, yeah?" "YOUUUUU ABOMINATION!" "Pardon me?" She throws something she's been holding on the ground. It's a dead hamster. "A damn vampire! You arrive here and suddenly my pet gets drained!" I sniff the air, trying not snarl at the stupid villager. "I've been here for about two weeks. This thing hasn't been dead for more than two days." "Don't call Snippy a thing, you... you... THING!" Something suddenly comes to me. "Wait... you picked up a pet that you should have buried right after it died and then you came here when you heard I was here just to make a scene?" "I-" Suddenly I really just want to hit somepony but I can't do it without a reason. "Or did you actually dig out your pet just so you could show how broken you are in front of your small-minded friends?" I provoke the mare despite seeing that there's no dirt anywhere on the little body. Her eyes go wide and she raises her hoof to punch me. Before it can connect I slap it away easily and stop at the last second from sending her flying into some of the tables around. It wouldn't help and it might make the Cakes angry so I just stop and knock on her head lightly. "I would much rather grab your head and ram it through the door because right now I actually believe a bit of brain damage might do you good but I don't want to break a perfectly fine door," I growl, lean closer and make her twitch when I bare my fangs, "And no, I didn't eat your stupid pet. Short fangs mean I'm a fruit-eater, not a blood-drinker so grab that little corpse and give it a proper burial to show it you actually liked it." With that I calmly walk out of the bakery leaving the sniffing and tearing up earthpony behind me. Hurray for self-control. Slowly eating and walking to the address written on the deed I'm gradually getting an idea who or what I might meet there.