Tirek and the confusing case of the chicken

by tut895


What is this I don't even?

Tirek was stomping around Ponyville, sapping the ponies' powers away one by one, his strength- and size- growing exponentially. He needed as much power as possible if he were to defeat the one pony who could end this, Twilight Sparkle. Discord had just given him the powers of the Elements of Harmony, and he couldn't help but use it to devastate anything that got in his way. He was having an especially good time punting the houses in front of him. He began to trek down the dirt road leading towards what looked to him like some sort of farmland.

Meanwhile, at the CMC club house, Scootaloo was happily walking along the dirt trail that lead back home, completely aloof to what was happening. She gladly skipped along until an angry tyrant crossed her path. Scootaloo bumped into Tirek, and her smile faded as she looked up to the face of the thing that bumped her. He was a gigantic Centaur-ish creature, although he had bull horns and his upper body resembled a gorilla more than a human.

Scootaloo looked on in awe and fear as Tirek looked down to her and raised Scotaloo up with his magic. Tirek opened up his mouth to take Scootaloo's flight away, but nothing happened.


"What is this?" Tirek shouted, shocked that his draining ability didn't work. "Did you give your power to princess Twilight too?" He began trying again, and again, and again, all with the same results.

Scootaloo just gave a face of complete confusion as Tirek began kicking a couple of trees out of frustration. Scootaloo began to snicker as Tirek kicked a tree that ended up hitting him in the chin.

"What are you laughing at?" Tirek boomed, steam coming out of his ears as he turned to Scootaloo.

"Well sir, thing, whatever you are," Scootaloo replied "I can't help but laugh after somepony breathes in my face expecting it to do something, and then get frustrated when it doesn't work."

This proceeded to infuriate Tirek further as he snorted fire in Scootaloo's direction.

"It was supposed to take away your flight!" He retorted maliciously, "So why isn't it b:yay:cking working!?" He stared at Scootaloo, who returned the stare with squinted eyes.

"What kind of a sick joke is that?" She asked. "Were you sent by Discord to mess with me? because I don't think he'd get his kicks that way."

Tirek slapped his forehead, and proceeded to drag his hand down his face until it slid off of his chin.

"Look kid," He said, explaining why he said that. "I steal the abilities of other ponies to get more powerful, it's what I do. So please tell me why I can't just take your abilities." Scootaloo looked at her wings as she flapped them lightly.

"I don't get it." she replied, much to the annoyance of the creature in front of her.

"Oh dear Celestia." Tirek mumbled, rubbing his temples as he realized that this kid's skull was thicker than the rainbow maned pony he had to kick away after stealing her powers. "This kid is just plain out dumb."

"That's a bit harsh don't you think?" Scootaloo replied, somehow hearing him. Tirek got down on his knees to make himself clearer before he spoke.

"Okay, let's put this in term you'll understand." Tirek said, trying to explain what he's been trying to do. "I am a bad guy, I steal the power from other ponies. For Pegasi like you, I take their flight away. When I do, I grow more and more powerful so that I can take down the Princesses." Tirek looked at Scootaloo, hoping that she would finally understand.

"So then why isn't it working on me?" Scootaloo asked, causing Tirek to release a shout of anger.

"That's what I'm trying to figure out!" Tirek shouted at her, "I've been trying to figure out why you seem to be the only pony who's immune to my powers. So tell me, why are you immune!?

"Well you know, not all dark magic is foolproof, maybe I'm just immune." Scootaloo grinned a small amount as she realized that she could mess with this guy as much as she wanted. "Or maybe you're just not as powerful as you thought you were." Tirek shouted a booming scream that pushed the trees around them, and Scootaloo, backwards. Scootaloo quickly regained balance and watched joyfully as Tirek began attempting to take her flight again.

"What black magic is this!?" He shouted after failing for the fifth time. "How can you keep doing this and not even be tired!? All you do is grin and use your, whatever it is, to stop me from taking your power!"

"Well it seems that you sir, suck at your job." Scootaloo replied, as Tirek began ripping trees from the ground and snapping them out of renewed frustration. a large grin spread across her face slowly as Tirek began rampaging through the Everfree a bit.

"Ya know, I think I figured out why you can't take my flying away." Scootaloo said once Tirek calmed down. Tirek looked at her quizzically, and bent down to hear Scootaloo more clearly.

"Oh, please tell me." he replied, wondering what form of evil black magic this was.

"It's because I can't fly." Scootaloo said, whispering into his ginormous black ears. Tirek just stood up, a look of disappointment adorning his face as he began sulking back toward Ponyville.

"I think I'll go back to Tartarus now." he said, mentally defeated by a clearly smarter foe.