I really must find the peace to recover. These frequent bouts from consciousness seemed to weaken me, somehow. Under normal circumstances, my species would prove possession of both strength and superiority; I didn’t understand why, nor did I understand why it was Reimu of all people who cared for me in these accursed bouts of walking between waking and sleeping. Perhaps she had respected me? Or was it... something more? That, I didn't know.
Regardless, I felt as though I lost much of it with my recent blunders. More often do I find the anger to obliterate this world than ever before.
During my sleeping sessions, I would have terrible nightmares of the pony I dared take interest in for a moment or two. He would do things most unspeakable, and yet, he allowed me to live. While I was awake, my vision was blurred and all words spoken to me—save for a few on occasions—would be garbled and incomprehensible. It hurt for me to speak and move, like I was a blithering drunk ninny who had stumbled into the wrong alley over the course of one horrid night.
Repeatedly no less. I pray, the time of my revenge must be soon. I fear I cannot bear to lose my dignity once more.
Once more, I felt powerless. It was a feeling I hated, but I had to grin and bear it in this current circumstance. At least Reimu isn’t trying to murder me, which is a plus.
“Reimu…” I choked out, my voice harsh and ragged. Oh, gods in which I have no faith; I hated the weakness emanating from my brittle tone. How I despised the unseen tears flowing through my unliving eyes. I felt like the child I appeared to be.
The blurred, brown form instantly turned to me, having taken notice of my beckoning to her. The form came to me, this time her words loud and clear, “You need something?”
Were I truly this childish, perhaps I would stammer and prattle on like a pathetic mortal; “I need help.” “I need my mother.” “I need you…” Instead, I merely bobbed my head up and down, my vocal chords aching beyond all comprehension.
“Alright, I’ll see if I can get you some food and water,” Reimu says, her words still clear. She sounded as if... she truly knew I had been in danger. If only I could honor her appreciation with a more sophisticated mannerism of the Scarlet household. My stomach growled viciously, and I felt weaker than ever in this instant. I was pondering what those guards did to me, but at the same time, I felt better off not knowing any and all possible atrocities they committed.
I felt... broken inside. Yet I had no idea as to why. Was it this accursed pain, was it my inability to regain my senses properly, or was it, perhaps, what the stallions did to me as I was wandering in a bleak world of darkness? Surely, the reason for my nihilism must lie in one of these options only, for it could not have been anything else, right?
And so I sigh.
Reimu’s blurred form returns, clearly carrying something in what I assumed to have been her front hooves. I allowed myself to linger on that thought. Surely, beings who did not walk on two legs should simply stick with carrying objects in their mouth. It would be far less irksome than to hold them in the feeble grip of two stumps that protruded from one’s arms.
Ah, yes. I did indeed carry that spear in my hooves. At least the questionable laws of physics granted me a distraction from my state of sniveling and moping.
I wanted to move my limbs, but the pain prevented me from doing so. I considered ignoring it and wanted to simply arise, though I soon settled on at least lying down long enough to recuperate, rather than regret that decision as well.
“Relax, you need to rest some more. At least I found some sweets for you,” Reimu coos, helping me onto my front hooves so I could eat. I will allow this treatment for now, though had it been anyone else they would drown in a pool of their own blood. I feel something soft and flaky touch my tongue, and it tasted of sweet, spiced apples. I chewed slowly to savor this moment. I swallowed the food and found a glass of water offered to me. Having no choice for now, I drank it greedily.
“They hurt you worse than I thought,” she commented as she kept feeding me my meal. At least now, my stomach could be kept quiet for once.
“Thank you,” I managed, and I noticed that my voice sounded less like than that of a dying rat. This could be a good sign. That, or this bleak world had gotten to me after all.
“You’re welcome,” Reimu replies as she finishes feeding me. Once finished, the shrine maiden walks a few feet opposite, spying off into the distance before returning and helping me to lay down again.
Now I’m starting to think that my visions of the stallion are telling me something. But what, I do not know at this time.
“Normally, I would shoot you down for a bit and ask what you’ve been up to, but really, you don’t look so good. Besides, those stallions went overboard.” Ever, the blunt maiden, Reimu pierces my ego further still with her words. She sighs, and I feel something in my head click.
And then a most horrid scene registers in my mind. One I will never let go of until my revenge has been fulfilled.