Kyle rubbed his tired eyes and yawned. He stretched his hind legs and scratched his shaggy mane, heaving himself off the dirty ground. Wait a minute. Why am I not in bed? More importantly, why am I OUTSIDE?! A spider crawled onto his arm, interrupting his thoughts.
"Gah!" the Earth pony stumbled backwards onto his side, getting leaves tangled in his coat. He got to his trembling hooves and looked around, petrified. Where the hell am I? He started to trot around, examining the foliage around him. Am I in cartoon? He reached up to his head and felt around. Yup, hat's still there. He let out a sigh of relief, which came to an abrupt stop once he saw his hand. Or, hoof.
"Agh!" he shook his arm violently. "What happened to my fingers?!" Realizing something was wrong, he sat down for further investigation. He started to check the rest of his body out, and found he had no clothes on. He squealed like little girl and dove into a bush. Trembling, he covered his crotch in embarrassment. Hey, it's a bit, drafty down there...Then it hit him.
"I DON'T HAVE A-!" he quickly covered his mouth, blushing profusely. Damn, how do I take a leak? He searched more thoroughly and sighed in relief, finding it was hidden under his fur. Thank Jehovah. Also, what am I? He rubbed his face, discovering how long his nose was. Do I have a muzzle? He explored his lower half ( Not like that ya perv ) and found he had a small hairy thing on his rump ( Seriously guys, stop it's not that funny ). He gasped.
"Oh my god, I have a tail!" he laughed and waved it around like a dog. Maybe this isn't so bad after all. He caught a glimpse of something else as he was wagging his new extension.
"Wait, is that a tattoo?" he stopped shaking his ass and took a closer look.
"Why do I have a Star of David on my hip?" he shrugged and brushed it aside. Probably temporary. He walked out from behind the bush and continued through the forest. I wonder if the other people around here know how to fix this. He stayed on track, always going straight ahead. Gotta find a way out of here. The stallion took note of the little things he saw, like the creepy tree hut that looked like a witch-doctor owned it, or the weird blue flowers that were bunched up in a huge patch. He didn't go near any of the foreign landmarks, and went on his way.
A little while later, the stallion began to feel tired and weak. Man, am I hungry. I could really use some KFC right about now. Kyle wasn't doing so well on hydration either, as his throat and tongue felt dry as bone. Still, he continued through the woods, determined to find out where he was.
Kyle trotted up to a small creek, beside what looked to be a cave. Thank god, I'm so thirsty! He slowly approached the water and bent down to have a drink. He gulped down mouthfuls of the cool, refreshing liquid, feeling his strength rejuvenate. Standing back up, he saw his reflection shimmering in the pool. The Earth pony curiously got a closer look.
"Woah. I have really big eyes." He blinked and cocked his head, trying to get a better understanding of what he was. Am I, a pony? That's odd. Is everyone here a horse?!
The stallion froze as growling sounded from across the stream. He slowly lifted his head to see several eyes glowing from inside the cavern. He gasped and backed away, legs trembling. The growls evolved into roars as a timber wolf pounced. Kyle screamed and spun on his heel, eyes wide with terror.
"HOLY SHIT, WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?" he galloped through the forest, diving through bushes and nimbly dodging trees. Why am I so agile? Whatever, better not complain about it now.
The forest's edge was nearing, giving Kyle some encouragement. Come on... His chest was burning, and he could feel the raspy breath of the beast on his back.
With a grunt, he flung himself out the exit, panting. Glad I lost that son of a-
The stallion's eyes dilated as the wolf emerged from the woods, followed by two others. Kyle began to panic, watching in terror as the three surrounded him. They circled slowly, drooling and licking their chops. The Earth pony's lips trembled as he tried to shrink into a seed and bury himself in the ground. The pack leader stopped and howled, signaling for the rest to back up. They bowed their heads and did as they were commanded, still watching their prey like hawks. Kyle didn't move, for it would set off the predators. The remaining timber wolf wiggled his haunches, preparing for his attack. The stallion squeezed his eyes shut and sent a silent prayer. A Jewish one, of course. The wooden beast roared and pounced, baring it's teeth.
"Take that, ya rotten varmint!" Kyle uncovered his face with his hooves to see an orange Earth pony head-butt the vicious creature in the face. It staggered around aimlessly for a while, before it whined and padded away with it's tail between it's legs. The other two growled at the ponies and followed after their humiliated leader.
Kyle watched in shock as the mare brushed herself off and placed a dirty old cowboy hat on her head. She looked down at him and smiled, holding out a hoof. He took it, still very confused.
"How did you, but- HUH?" he stammered. The orange pony chuckled.
"Eh, it was nothin'." she waved the praise away and offered a hand-shake. "Name's Applejack pardner. What's yours?"