I woke up slightly groggy and very sore. I looked over to the clock I had placed on my nightstand and completely lost my cool. I had slept for a few months; it was already time for spring to start up. I had slept all the way through six episodes and hadn't even realized it. I quickly jumped out of bed and changed into my armor. Before I reached my door I realized that I had not switched into my pony form, and I quickly did that before I rushed outside. As I did so, I slipped on some ice that had formed outside on my doorstep and I did a face plant into the snow.
Thankful for the soft landing, I kissed the snow. Then I remembered I had somewhere to be and I rushed towards town hall. When I reached the center of town, everypony had already started to gather around town hall to get ready for winter wrap up. They pointed at me and started whispering, I couldn't really hear what they were saying though. Before I had time to listen in on their conversations, a pink blur knocked me off my hooves and into the snow.
I slowly got up and shook off the snow that clung to me, but I couldn't dislodge the pink ball that had attached itself to me. I then realized it was Pinkie, and I gave her a hug. She got off of me with tears in her eyes and I could tell she was happy to see me after such a long time.
"So, Pinkie, what's happening? Why is everypony standing around town hall?" I grew puzzled; this is not what my voice was supposed to sound like. It was then I realized that everypony was staring at Pinkie and I.
"Who are you; I don't remember Celestia telling me she had another sister." Twilight had come up behind me and was examining me.
"Um, I don't know what you mean about sister. It's me, Ordeus. How can you not tell it's me? For one, I'm not a mare and two I've only been gone for about six months." I stated the obvious, how could they not know it was me?
"Ordeus, I thought he was lost somewhere in the Everfree. I saw him go in about six months back and never come out." Fluttershy had quietly told the group.
"Well, I don't remember going into the forest. That may be how I changed into a mare. That, or somepony got poison joke into my house. I think it's most likely the second scenario. And that means there are only three ponies that could have done it. And since one pony already knew who I was, I know it was her that did it." I glared at Pinkie and she just gave a large smile along with a small eep. "I trust that what you saw will not be disclosed until I give the permission for you to do so?"
"Okie dokie lokie! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" She performed the action in swift practiced movements.
The ponies did not really seem what to make of what had just gone down, but the mayor was getting ready to make her speech to Ponyville. I bade farewell to the group around me and headed off to the Everfree Forest to go to Zecora's. I would have to get a natural cure for poison joke since I couldn't just shift forms or change my gender without an explanation on how it happened, and I didn't want to have to explain either case.
I easily found the path that lead to Zecora's, and it didn't take very long to reach her hut. Not much happened on the way to her hut. I just passed a small patch of poison joke, which I went through because I had already been affected by the stuff and it wouldn't get any worse. I also passed a cockatrice, and it didn't even bother trying to mess with me. So, needless to say, it was a boring trip. I knocked on the door and it was soon answered by the zebra I was looking for.
"Do my eyes deceive me, or is this royalty?" She bowed and ushered me inside. She closed the door after I had entered and rushed to get some tea.
"Zecora, there is no need to make me feel comfortable. I just need to get the cure for poison joke; Pinkie put some on me while I was asleep." I walked around her hut looking at the masks and potion ingredients she had, and it was surprising to see how many things she actually had. There was a whole room filled with ingredients and potions, all of them ready to be used.
"Lucky for you, I have already finished a brew. You will not have to bathe long, but make sure the dosage is strong." She handed me a large bottle with the cure to poison joke inside.
"Thank you for the cure, Zecora. And make sure Pinkie stays away from poison joke from now on. We don't need any more ponies needing to be cured." I took the bottle with me to the door, and before I left she called out to me.
"I will be sure, to have much more of the cure!" She just grinned and went back inside, closing the door behind her. Figures, if ponies needed the cure, they would pay her for the cure. I smiled at the thought of a line of ponies in the Everfree, waiting outside her door to buy a cure. I headed towards my house after I left the forest, it was a place where I could take a bath without any others seeing me the way I was. I was surprised how much warmer it was inside the forest compared to the surrounding area.
I carefully stepped over the icy patch on my doorstep and opened my door. I made my way to the bathroom that was on the first floor because I didn't want to climb the stairs in pony form. I didn't want to change into my human form either, because that would be awkward. I don't know how I didn't realize that I had changed genders when I was putting on my armor this morning. I filled the bath with water and poured in a large amount of the cure. I climbed in and let my body relax, letting the cure work its magic.
When I climbed out, I was a stallion again. It was a great feeling too. I changed forms so that I could climb the stairs; I was heading towards the study. I opened the door, and low and behold Pinkie was there, reading a book on how to bake very large cakes. I walked over to the chair behind the desk and sat down.
"So Pinkie, aren't you supposed to be cutting the ice right now? Or are you slacking off just to read a book?" I steepled my fingers, looking at Pinkie through the hole I had made in between my hands.
"Oh silly, I don't have to be there for a few more hours. Your trip didn't really take that long at all. And this book is great! Look at this quadruple layered chocolate fudge cake with strawberries and whipped cream on it. We have to make this at the bakery sometime!" She pressed the book into my face, pointing at a large picture of the cake in question. While it did look delicious, it was huge. It would tower over me even.
I pushed Pinkie down into the chair in front of me. "Pinkie, only you and Luna know what I really look like, even underneath this armor. I have to know that you won't tell anypony about this."
"Well of course I won't. I already made a Pinkie Promise, and I would never go back on that for fear of losing a friend forevvvvver." She had a menacing look when saying forever.
I laughed and patted her head gently; if I patted her to hard I could injure her. "That's good to hear Pinkie. Now, let us get back outside and get winter wrapped up, I don't want to wear any clothes made for cold weather." We left the study and I transformed on the way back downstairs as we headed for the door. I held the door open so that Pinkie could go outside ahead of me. "After you, milady."
"What a gentlecolt, let me reward you for your kindness." As she headed out the door, she landed a peck on my cheek and then giggled.
I couldn't really tell what I looked like, but I was pretty sure that my cheeks looked like they were on fire. I closed and locked the door behind me. I didn't want anypony else getting into my house without permission. Pinkie headed off to the lake she was stationed at and I went to Sweet Apple Acres. It looked like Twilight hadn't been here yet, so I decided that it would actually be a perfect place to help. I walked up to Applejack and nudged her. She turned around and gave a huge smile while pulling down the brim of her hat.
"Howdy there, Ordeus; I see that ya got your problem fixed. It was a might strange sight, you being a mare." She yelled at the ponies clearing up the snow to keep up the good work.
"Well, I can say it felt very strange being a mare. I have come to help with clearing the fields of snow. And, before you deny my help, I insist on helping. Since I have not been around for a while, I feel the need to help in Ponyville." I walked over to a plough and attached myself to it. It was surprisingly easy to pull through the snow, and it felt as if I didn't even have anything holding me down.
I speeded past all the others pulling ploughs, collecting tons of snow in a single line. All the others gaped at me, even Applejack. Then they doubled their efforts, trying their hardest to not look foolish or weak in front of Applejack and I. I was making my fourth pass when Applejack came over to me and detached the plough.
"Hold on there, fella. You've done enough work for three ponies already. You deserve a bit of a break; even if you don't feel like you need one." She glanced at me and gave me a wink. "Besides, Ah jus made some hot coco and Ah need somepony to share it with." Under her breath, I could just hear her say, "And Ah like the look of them muscles when he works. He's much stronger than Big Mac."
I was thinking about politely declining, but then I spotted Twilight making her way towards us. I didn't really feel comfortable around Applejack by myself anymore; I didn't want to deal with love just yet. I waved at Twilight, and Applejack turned to see who I was waving to. She had a sour look for a second before she gave her friend a smile.
"Hello there Applejack and Ordeus. I am glad to see that you got your problem sorted out. I just wonder how much poison joke Pinkie used to change your gender." Twilight turned to Applejack. "Anyways, do you think I could try to help you? I'll try my very best."
"Ah don't know, Twalight. This would be some tough work for a unicorn of your size and build." Applejack was eyeing up Twilight and comparing her to the ones working out in the field. I could make out the undertone in her voice; she was trying to get rid of Twilight.
"I think that you should give her a chance, Applejack. It seems like she is a hard worker." Applejack considered the options and decided to let her try to help. I walked over to Twilight and helped her get the plough moving. "Thanks for bailing me out of that situation, Twi," I whispered in her ear. "As she got further into the fields I yelled good luck to her. I walked back over to Applejack and my own plough, and I re-hitched myself to it and started to move out into the fields.
"Hold on, where do ya think you're goin mister?" Applejack ran in front of me and tried to push me back into my previous position. "You've already done enough work."
It was then the smell hit me, and I realized why she was acting the way she was. It was that time of month for her and her pheromones were actually pretty strong. I hadn't noticed them because of my true form, but I could just make them out now that she was right in front of me. That was why she was just overseeing the work the others were doing, she didn't want to affect the stallions working in the fields.
"Nnope, I gotta clean up more snow." Just then, Twilight ran into the hill, covering the recently cleaned fields in more snow. "See? Now please excuse me while I clean up the snow that just rolled onto the fields." I pushed Applejack out of the way before I headed to work again.
A few hours later, all we needed was the pegasi to clear the clouds for the sun to shine on the seeds that we recently planted. Applejack got me and we headed into town to go to town hall. We met up with Fluttershy on the way there, and we had a conversation on how the jobs were going so far. When we got to town hall, Rainbow Dash was already waiting there. I let the girls argue, I didn't want to get between two girls, or mares, fighting. Twilight came up with a list of responsibilities and everyone got started working on their new jobs.
I was helping the nest production line. It was simple work, weave the fibers into a bowl shape and hoof the product to the next pony to put a bow on it. I was working with Rarity, so we didn't really talk much. At the end of the day, everything was finished and Mayor Mare said that spring had finally come on time. We all said our goodbyes and I walked to the mattress store. I figured that I needed to stop sleeping on beds I made since that seems how I got into the coma state.
After I purchased the mattress that I wanted, I carried it back home. I unlocked the door and stepped inside, only to hit something as I crossed my threshold. I turned on the lights to see two ponies in my house, and one of them didn't really seem happy with me. One was a dark blue alicorn and the other was a certain pink party pony.
"Ok, how do you ponies continue to get into my house? I even locked the door this time and I made it so you can't teleport in here." I threw the mattress to the bottom of the stairs. "I even made a spell that would tell me if someone came through the door."
"We came in through the back door of course, you Silly Willy." Pinkie was bouncing in place beside Luna, which made me wonder if Pinkie had a serious bone in her body. But then I remembered when Pinkie had turned serious, and I decided that she was better the way she was. Luna reached out with her wing and made Pinkie standstill, which seemed to be a feat on its own, like trying to keep her quiet.
"Yes, we have come to see you on the subject that both We and Pinkie know of!" Luna yelled in her Royal Canterlot Voice.
I cringed. "Okay, while you both head up to my study so we can talk about the circumstances, I'll put this mattress up. And Luna, please lower your voice to that of an inside volume while you are inside. You may have grown accustomed to speaking like that, but things have changed in the thousand years you have been gone. Even Celestia abandoned that way of speaking about seven hundred years ago."
"Our… my speech instructor teaches of the same things. Are you working with her?" She looked at me skeptically.
"No, I am not working with your speech instructor. I only woke up again today after being asleep for about six months. Now, while you go up to the study I shall move this item to my room. I will be with you shortly." I picked up the mattress I had bought and started for my room.
When I got there, I put the mattress down and reverted to my original form. I placed the armor I had on onto an empty rack and changed into something more comfortable and casual. I wore some cargo pants, black and grey of course, with a blank dark blue t-shirt. I put on some boots I found in my closet and headed for the room next to mine where the two were waiting.
When I entered, Pinkie bounced up to me and pulled me over to my desk. I rolled my eyes and just let her drag me. She pushed me into my chair and hopped over to one of the chairs set up in front of my desk. Luna was sitting in the other, and she looked uncomfortable sitting in it the way she was. She was sitting in it like a human would sit, or like how Lyra would sit. I chuckled and got her a large cushion to sit on instead. She gave her thanks and sat laid down on it.
"The sooner I learn what you two are here to talk about, the sooner I can see what I can do to fix it. So, what seems to be troubling you two?" I placed my hands palm down on the desk and waited for one of them to speak up.
Luna spoke first after waiting a few seconds to see if Pinkie wanted to speak before her. "Yes, I have a question. Why did you divulge this information with me and not miss Pie here?"
"Well, you see Luna, Pinkie doesn't even know what I really am or what I'm doing here. She only knows what I really look like. I was going to pull her aside today and tell her, but it seems as if she was seeking answers from me so she came to me instead of me having to get her. I will fill her in on the details as soon as she asks her question." Pinkie took that comment as her cue to start speaking.
She started out asking slowly and then sped up as she continued talking. "Is this the actual reason you don't have a cutie mark, or is it because you actually keep the balance? I haven't really seen anything like you, so are you not from this planet or dimension or something? Did Tim bring you here or did you end up here on your own accord?" She had thousands of more questions, I could tell. I put my hand over her mouth to keep her from asking anymore.
"So how do you know Tim, Pinkie?" I wondered if that was how she could do what she did on a regular basis, you know, breaking the fourth wall and such.
"I met him when I was just a filly after I got my cutie mark. That's how I can do all the stuff I do now. And before I came here I was playing poker with Deadpool and a few others." She looked really perky, so I guessed that she had won.
"Okay then, if you have any questions, you can just ask him because that would be way simpler than having I explain it to you. Just tell him I sent you to see him." Pinkie nodded and pulled a zipper from a pocket, and she stuck it in the air and pulled down. A portal opened as she did this, and she bade us goodbye as she entered the portal. It zipped closed as she entered, and the zipper disappeared with a pop.
Luna just looked at the spot Pinkie had just disappeared from with a look of shock on her face. I pulled her back to the conversation we were having by tapping my finger loudly on the desk. She turned towards me and gave me a weird look as well.
"Do you find this kind of thing normal? She just disappeared in front of us and you act as if nothing happened."
"Yes, I find this kind of thing normal. But it is only normal for a few people or ponies I know of, me being one of them since I could do that anytime I want to. And now you have me to yourself, so ask all the questions that you want to." I leaned back in the chair, using my hands as a cradle for my head.
"I only have one other question that I need answered. When will you tell my sister about what you really are and what you're doing here? I doubt that she likes being in the dark about anything that involves her subjects or the nation."
"All in due time, Luna. I will tell everypony the full truth when I deem it necessary and or safe to tell them. Until then, I shall keep quiet and to myself. Now, I have a question for you." I leaned forward and let her sit there and wait for my question.
After a few seconds she spoke. "What is it that you wanted to ask? I do not have all night; I still have to get back to my work. Even though I have just come here, I am sure that the paperwork is piling up on my desk and the night court is requiring my presence."
"Do you and Celestia still keep that mirror in the throne room or is it somewhere else right now?"
She shrugged and moved a little on the cushion. "I do not know; if the mirror is still in the throne room I have not seen it recently. You could ask Tia when you next see her. Why do you want to know where the mirror is?"
"I feel like I need some coffee, and Equestria doesn't have any that I know of." I rubbed my eyes. "I don't really need it but I have been craving a large, freshly brewed cup lately."
"I do not even know what coffee is, but do you even know what the other side of the mirror is like? How do you know that the other side of the mirror holds this coffee you speak of?"
"You could just call it a hunch, but in reality it is because I have already seen what is on the other side of the portal. It is a dimension that is similar to my original home dimension. I know they have coffee and a few other things that Equestria does not have. Now that I have no more questions for you, and I believe you have no more questions for me, you may leave. I have some exploration to do. I made the house and it has many doors that I have not seen where they lead to." I got up from my chair and led Luna over to the door. "After you, princess"
"I thank you for the time you have spent answering my questions, but I ask that you do not spend much time before telling the rest of the country what your real form and purpose is." With that she went downstairs and out the front door.
I decided to pick the left wing first, second floor because I was already up here. I carried with me a stack of signs and a marker so that I could label the doors for later. The first door I opened led me to a large pool filled with alligators and crocodiles, where Gummy was playing along with the others. I closed the door and wrote 'Alligator/Crocodile Room' on the sign and stuck it above the door. The next door I opened led into a large room that looked strangely like the inside of the TARDIS. It turns out, that is exactly where it led to.
The doctor walked in and yelped upon seeing me coming in from a door that had not been there before. He quickly got up and walked over to me, eyeing me suspiciously.
"Who are you and how did you get in here. Are you a Time Lord that I don't know?"
"Nah, I'm Ordeus, I'm just in my actual form. I was just looking around my house to see where my doors led to and I opened this one I am currently looking through to find that it leads here. I shall now leave and I expect that you will keep quiet about this as well. Goodbye." With that, I closed the door and wrote 'TARDIS' on a sign and stuck that above the door. I went and checked all the other doors on this hall, which took just a few moments considering what was inside of them.
The last door in the hall looked different from the rest. It was completely white and looked like it had been sculpted from marble. I just shrugged and opened the door, expecting to see nothing of interest. Oh, how mistaken I was.