Luna’s Academy was closed today as a rampaging hellbeast from the pits of Tartarus stopped in Ponyville as part of his tour to take over Equestria, giving Vinyl and I a lovely chance to catch up after Lyra and Bon-Bon’s wedding (We received a lovely card from them sent from the Crystal Empire). After we had finished boarding up our house, we retreated into Vinyl’s DJ room as it was built to completely block out the outside world and was the safest room in the house.
“Can I fetch you anything?” Woodhoof asked as we finished closing the door and Vinyl cast her protective seal on the room.
“No thank you Woodhoof,” I said, smiling at him as the floor shook below us. “I think it would be best if we just waited in here while the danger passed. Speaking of,” I looked at Vinyl, “Do you think this will wrap up soon?”
“It will,” Vinyl said. “I mean, this can’t be worse than the parasprites, those little pests almost devoured the whole town. At least today’s big baddie doesn’t seem to have any interest in harming buildings.” As she spoke, a mountain visible outside of our window exploded. “Well, that… That could have been an accident.”
The four of us leaned in closer to see beams of light firing at each other. “Oh look,” I said, “it seems somepony is already fighting him. I bet I will still be able to open the academy up in time for night classes.” While I was supposed to just lead the music department, complications arose that made me the temporary acting headmistress. I cannot wait to get back to teaching students as opposed to dealing with administrative and disciplinary issues, at least I can tutor one student though, so I suppose that is a small consolation.
“Come on Tavi,” Vinyl groaned, placing a forehoof on my back. “Can’t you give your students one day off? I mean, Ponyville isn’t destroyed every day.”
“No,” I said as a bright orange mushroom cloud lit up the horizon. “Just every other day.”
“We do not understand,” the fourth member of our party said, one of his his green hooves poking at the ground. “Why do you hide from death when it strengthens us and allows the collective to grow stronger.”
“Well, for most ponies, being completely disintegrated doesn’t allow us to grow stronger, it just kills us,” I said.
“I can think of two exceptions in this room alone,” my fiance said, flashing me a smile before kissing my neck.
“First of all Vinyl, that was a one night only affair, I highly doubt I could survive a hit by any of those death rays flying through the air right now, and second of all, I was trying to teach Moldy a lesson about what is and isn’t appropriate in equine society. You know he wants to properly interact with ponies someday. To answer your question, Moldy, do you remember how you managed to survive your first few purgings? Back when you were still a barely mobile pile of goop.”
“Ah, yes,” he said, joining us in looking out the window at the lightshow. “Some of us were able to hide, resist, or otherwise avoid the death you rained down upon us, and those few survivors prospered and made us stronger.”
“Right, but the individuals tried to preserve themselves when the cleansing came, correct?”
He nodded and for a second I felt as if I was lecturing one of the students a teacher had sent in to be disciplined, “Well, ponies are like those individual cells. If you wish, you can think of Ponyville or Equestria as the collective that we make up, and in times of crisis, we try to ensure our survival so that our collective can endure.”
The sentient mold creature (Note: Go to library Twilight and ask if she can help me in coming up with proper terminology for whatever Moldy is) turned to look at me in thought, his black eyes appraising me carefully. “We believe we understand you. Combining this with the information you gave on pony birth and reproductive rates, the best way for the collective to endure is by carefully guarding the lives of it’s individual members.”
“Exactly,” I said as the fight outside finally seemed to die down. “You prosper by purging your weakest members because it was easy for the strong to replace them. In our… collective, each pony is too valuable to be replaced and so we instead focus on improving them and helping them as opposed to purging.”
Moldy nodded his head once before retreating to the back of the room. “Thank you for your insight Deathbringer, we shall meditate upon your words and the wisdom within them. Also, when we have our next purging, we would appreciate it if you tested our resistance to extreme heat.”
“Of course,” I said, smiling at him before going back to look at the window.
“Okay,” Vinyl said, “if we ever have foals, you are definitely going to be the lecturey not-fun disciplinarian.”
“I expected nothing less,” I said as a blast of magical rainbow-colored energy raced up into the sky.
“It does look like the disturbance is almost over,” Woodhoof said, “Should I go put a pot of tea on?”
“Not yet,” I said, “I’d prefer it if we waited until the sky had stopped glowing orange.”
“Of course, Miss Octavia.”
“So, Tavi, now that you have been living here for almost a year, what has been your favorite calamity that has befallen Ponyville?”
“There are just so many to choose from,” I said, sighing in thought, “Of course, the first one I ever had to deal with still holds a special place in the darkest corner of my mind, but I think the one Rarity caused shortly before the Winter Moon Festival was my favorite.”
“Oh, right,” Vinyl said, “I remember how weird it was when Pinkie told me you were being forced to play for some colt’s birthday party. Of course, it got really weird a few minutes later when half the town was turned to crystal. Good choice, I liked that one too.”
“Thank you,” I said, nodding my head appreciatively as the blast of rainbow energy continued to expand and head towards the town. “Is it odd that we’ve come to view disasters as a rather blase affair? Also, what are the odds of that wall of rainbow energy being bad?
“Pretty much nil,” she said. “It usually happens when things get really bad to bring everything back to normal. Really came in handy after Discord took over Ponyville. Also, I don’t think so, I mean there are so many you eventually just have to get used to it.”
“Do you know what this means then?” I asked, trying to contain my smile.
“That the danger is almost over and we can start unboarding our house?”
“Yes, but more importantly, it means that the Academy can be open for night classes and tutoring sessions.”
“Do you really think anypony is going to show up?” Vinyl asked as the world outside was consumed by the rainbow light.
“Not at all, but it’s important to have standards, dear. If it is at all possible for the school to be open then I will open it, and if none of the students or teachers can make it, then that is on them.”
“You won’t be docking any of the teachers’ pay will you?” Vinyl asked. “Because that did not go over well the last time Ponyville was almost destroyed.”
I groaned, recalling my decision to keep the school open after Ponyville had been temporarily thrown in a pocket dimension. It seems most teachers would rather have a day off than do their jobs, and the resulting dispute led to Ponyville’s first ever labor union, which I suppose is technically an accomplishment, just one I won’t be celebrating it anytime soon. “I suppose I won’t,” I said, “But the academy stays open. It is important that we stick to our schedules, as Luna expects nothing less than the best.”
“Alright,” Vinyl said as the lights from the outside finally cleared up. “But do you want to go out and have lunch before you go back to work? Remember, you really need to relax more, the doctor’s say a mare your age should not be dealing with your amount of stress. Actually, they said that no mare should have to deal with the amount of stress you put on yourself, I think that at your age it’s especially important.”
“Very well,” I said as I trotted over to open the door leading from Vinyl’s DJ room, “The usual place?”
“Can I order hay frites?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Alright,” she said as she followed me out the door. “I suppose I can find something else to try out.”
“Vinyl,” I said as we headed down the stairs, “Every time we eat there, you want hay frites, I select something else for you, and you walk away saying it was better than the hay frites, not to mention most of your meals come with a side of hay frites, so I really don’t see why you keep trying to order nothing but the infernal fries.”
“I guess I really like hay frites,” she said, forcing me to sigh.
After we had taken down all the boards, our planned trip to the cafe was interrupted by the sudden appearance of a castle on the outskirts of town. We followed the herd of ponies moving to investigate the sudden unexpected appearance, where an impromptu musical number broke out, and Celestia help me, I joined in.
Unfortunately, the princesses decided that the salvation of Equestria and Twilight earning her own castle was worthy of a national holiday, meaning that no matter how much I would have liked otherwise, the Academy would stay closed for the day. At the very least, it gave me a free evening to practice my cello playing, so I suppose it’s not all terrible. Just mostly.