The streets of Ponyville were overly crowded, but Discord couldn't care less. He had a goal in mind, and he swore to Celestia that he would accomplish it. He flew over the crowd, actually getting lost a few times before finally making his way towards Carousel Boutique. Was it possible to be so focused that you get distracted?
It didn't matter now. He could think about that later, after all this chaos was over. He landed firmly on the grass in front of the fancy clothes-shop, staring at the door with an intense gaze. He felt inclined to teleport inside and take great joy in giving Rarity a good scare, but he wouldn't get answers that way; she'd just get mad and kick him out.
He knocked on the door, crossing his arms and waiting patiently. It took a moment, but the door eventually opened, the pretty white unicorn stepping out to greet him.
Though her mouth quickly dropped as she realized who was at the door.
"...Discord?" she asked, blinking in confusion. "What ever are you doing here?"
Discord frowned slightly as he imagined what she was thinking.
"I mean, really! YOU, knock on the door? YOU, have manners? Discord, what happened to you and who can I thank for it!?"
He noticed a glint of emotion in her eyes that he couldn't quite place, but he ignored it.
"Oh, Rarity~ I was just curious, that's all!" he replied, throwing his hands up in the air. Rarity gave him a confused look.
"Curious? About what, Discord?" she asked, her tone being very calm. "If you need a question answered, all you should do is ask. We are friends, after all."
Discord let out a small grunt at the word "friends", but shook off his mild surprise and focused on the task at hand, trying to keep himself in his usual Discord-y mood, despite not feeling it at all.
"About the pony I need to ask about!" he responded.
"The... pony?" Rarity questioned, tilting her head. "You'll... have to be more specific."
"THE pony!" Discord told her, bending over to be more level with her. "It would mean the world and more to me if you could tell me who had the gall to hurt the soul of our poor pal Fluttershy. Clearly, she is not herself, you know!"
He made sure to be overly-dramatic in his words; if Rarity knew how seriously he was taking this, she might end up gossiping to the world about it, and he could not have that.
However, instead of giving him a weird glance like he expected, he suddenly found Rarity giving him an icy stare. She didn't look incredibly angry, but he could sense that her mood suddenly shifted.
All at the mention of Fluttershy.
Discord's expression fell slightly. Now he could be sure that it wasn't just him seeing Fluttershy act strange. Ponies were noticing, and the yellow pegasus must've been extremely upset to be unable to hide it, considering her tendency to hate attention.
"What's the sour look for? Does my symmetricalness not please you?" he asked with an amused smirk, as fake as it was.
Rarity frowned. "...Allow me to ask you something, Discord," she said with the utmost politeness.
Discord tilted his head, shrugging slightly to inform Rarity that she could go on.
"How long did it take you to decide to ask that? Have you only noticed now?" she questioned.
The draconequus paused at the question. Had Rarity been waiting for him to realize? The answer was easy; an obvious "I figured it out a long time ago, so no", but this mare acted as if he was the most insensitive guy on the planet. Fluttershy thought of him as a close friend, and he was expected to not notice when she was upset?
Discord wasn't dense. He was somewhat ignorant, but not dense. Heck, he was pretty much the destroyer of all emotions back when he caused chaos just to cause chaos. He knew how minds worked.
But, if that were true, then why is Fluttershy's mind such an enigma?
Discord contemplated it all. He had to admit that she was very special to him. He knew that she was very forgiving, so to think that she still held his betrayal over his head was unlikely. Not impossible, but he felt that it was extremely unlikely. Perhaps something else was bothering her?
From the look on Rarity's face, he assumed that it was something he did. However, besides what he already pretty much threw out, he couldn't think of a single thing he had done in the past few weeks that could've caused Fluttershy to become so upset. He barely pulled any pranks, and even the ones he did were utterly harmless; more akin to what Pinkie Pie did.
And yet, he must've done something. He was positive.
"Ahem..."
Discord looked back at Rarity as she cleared her throat. Had he been that deep in thought?
Nope, he was certainly not. Absolutely not. He was not all that concerned with the situation and he had just been distracted by a bird because it was so much more attractive than Rarity.
Yup.
"You think that I am so insensitive that I would ignore her?" he asked, crossing his arms and faking a pout. "You've got me all wrong, Rarity! I merely thought that Fluttershy was putting on a show for me! Even made me tear up a little~"
He knew that such a joke was probably going too far, even for him, but he still tried.
Rarity gave a sigh. "Discord, I respect you as a friend, but—"
She paused suddenly, her head tilting over to look at something (or someone?) behind Discord. The draconequus scowled slightly, feeling ignored, then turned around.
There was Fluttershy. Standing there, her head down and her mane slightly covering her face. She shyly took a few steps forward, looked at Discord for a split second, then suddenly bolted into the boutique.
"Flutter—!"
Discord was forced to stop as Rarity held a hoof against the side of the door frame, preventing him from walking any farther. He grunted slightly, taking a step back, then began to convey a little roughness with his tone.
"Let me through, Rarity," he said.
"I'm afraid I can't do that, Discord," she responded. "I can't allow you permission to see Fluttershy. I refuse to let you hurt her feelings any more than you already have."
Discord blinked. He knew it.
"What are you referring to? We live in the same house. You can't stop me from seeing her!"
Rarity's icy gaze turned to a full-on glare. "That is exactly why I must deny you entry now, when she has time away from you."
"Then at least enlighten me as to what I did!" Discord shot back, slowly growing annoyed with the mare.
"If you honestly can't tell by now, then I see no point!" Rarity told him, poking his stomach with her hoof.
"How am I supposed to know if you won't let me talk to her!?" he asked. He was aware of the fact that he could just teleport in, but no. This wasn't about that anymore. It was about figuring out why one of his friends was so undeniably angry with him.
"Because you should've figured it out for yourself!" Rarity yelled, huffing a very feminine huff as she looked away from him. "Ugh, males. I swear, you have no idea about anything that goes on around you. ."
"Well now you're just stereotyping," Discord sidetracked. He paused, needing to disregard his usual nature as his annoyance turned to anger. "What does that even mean anyway!? What reason would Fluttershy even have to be upset with me? Dear ol' me hasn't done a thing since Tirek, and she already forgave me for that! She trusts me, so I—"
Rarity slammed her hoof on the ground, silencing the draconequus.
"This, is about more than trust, Discord," she told him, scowling.
He paused, gazing at her. This was about more than trust? More than friendship? It must be if Fluttershy wouldn't have the courage to tell him, but what then?
He tried to think of a retort, but found none. She had stumped him. He didn't know what to say anymore.
He let his arms fall to his sides, his anger slowly dissipating; this was getting him nowhere fast.
"...I—"
"—I'm sorry," Rarity suddenly murmured, sharing his expression as she gazed at the ground. Discord watched as she slowly slumped down, sitting on her welcome mat.
"Friends shouldn't argue like this. I know that. I should not have lost my temper. This... isn't entirely your fault," she said. "Ignorance is not inherently an evil trait."
He crossed his arms, feeling incompetent, though he was far too proud to admit it. "Then perhaps you'd finally like to let me in on this little secret?"
Rarity sighed, taking a much longer pause than Discord would've liked.
"...When you betrayed us—"
"—I thought we were over this."
"W-we are!" Rarity assured, waving a hoof at him. "It isn't that she hasn't forgiven you, I can tell you that much."
Discord nodded feverishly, encouraging her to get to the point.
"...when that happened, dear Fluttershy felt... upset, to say the least. Not at you in the slightest however. At herself..."
He tried not to cringe as the sight of a crying Fluttershy re-entered his mind.
"Discord, darling, you..." Rarity grunted slightly, putting a hoof to her mouth as she tried to discern what the right words would be. "...I believe you broke her heart."
Instantly, a brow was raised at that statement. "That's obviously untrue, Rarity. A phrase like that is only reserved for one who'd—"
He stopped, realization hitting him like a brick.
Those delicate hugs she always gave him.
Her tendency to smile blindly at him, even when there was nothing to smile about.
The things she had told him that she never told anyone else.
He looked towards Rarity with a dumbfounded gaze, and the mare only needed to nod to confirm his suspicions.
"Head over hooves, darling."
She slowly stood up from her position, then walked back into the boutique, placing a hoof on the door and gazing at Discord one last time.
"As your friend, I sympathize with you. However, I'm afraid to say that I don't know how you'd go about making her feel better. You... should probably go home. I'll remain here to comfort her; hopefully this phase of hers doesn't last long."
Discord didn't have the reflexes to stop the closing door in time. He could only listen as Rarity's muffled voice called out to Fluttershy before rapid hoofsteps could be heard. After that, there was nothing but the sound of his own breathing.
And even then, it was rough and fleeting.
How was one supposed to respond to something like that? It seemed like a law that shouldn't be broken; don't fall in love with the spirit of chaos.
But, at the same time, thinking about it...
He felt like he should've known; like it was obvious. Most of him felt shocked at the idea that such a shy and gentle pony could harbor feelings for him, but a much smaller part thought casually about it, as if Rarity had told him that he was standing on grass; nothing that he hadn't already known.
That small part of him though, was a part that he thought had died a long time ago.
He gazed at the ground for a few seconds, then walked to the side and sat against the wall of the boutique. What was there to do now? Tell Fluttershy how he felt about her? Would that fix anything?
He sighed. That wouldn't do any good. He didn't even know what he felt for her, and she'd see through a lie if he gave her one. He liked her for sure, but those thousand years in stone had left him rather dead inside. He felt like he had the ability to love, but no knowledge as to how it worked.
Well... that wasn't necessarily true.
Long ago, there had been someone. Princess Celestia. He had even given her flowers after the Tirek incident. Despite that though, he knew that they simply didn't mesh well. He admitted to himself that she was very beautiful and wise, but a mare like that simply didn't fit his tastes. If he were to pursue her, he felt that she would reject him. He wasn't that into her anyway, at least.
Absentmindedly, he snapped his fingers and brought up a blank list. He snapped once more, summoning a quill, then grabbed both objects and wrote on it.
Pros
Cons
His mouth twisted slightly. Was he really going to do this? Was he really so clueless that he needed a list to figure this out?
Or was he just distracting himself from the problem at hand...?
He paused, then banished those thoughts, starting to write on the Pros list.
Pros
- Good hugger
- Kind
- Puts up with me
- Likes animals (he briefly joked to himself that it made sense for her to like him since he was just one big mismatch of animal parts)
- Great cook
- Puts up with me
- Smiles a lot
- Cute laugh
- Puts up with me
He blinked, then added one last bullet.
- Not Celestia
His eyes then darted over to the Cons list. For a few minutes, he couldn't think of a single thing to put there, even getting to the point of being frustrated at that fact. Truthfully, there were things that he didn't particularly care for, but...
He gazed back at the lists, then added something at the bottom.
Kinda Bothersome Things
- Total doormat
- Not easy to mess with
- Can be boring at times
He sighed at the list. It felt like a cop-out somehow, to pass her bad traits off as "minor annoyances" and nothing else. That wouldn't be fair to her. However, they were things that he didn't really mind all that much. She was a doormat, but she could be really bold when she needed to be; she had proved it when she reformed him. He couldn't play pranks on her due to her sensitivity, but there were many ponies he could play pranks on instead, and she was never annoyed with him as long as they didn't cause harm. Besides that, even if she was a little boring... well, he wouldn't have been with her all this time if he had minded it.
He lifted his quill, then scribbled on the Cons list.
Cons
- She doesn't have any
He stared at his list, then sighed and snapped his fingers once more, causing the paper and quill to disintegrate. He knew now; he hadn't needed that. He singled her out amongst all of the friends he had. They hugged, lived together, and didn't do all that much without each other; at least, he didn't.
So, great. She liked him, he liked her. Simple, right?
No. There was no way.
Discord reflected on everything; everything he had ever done. His life swam through his mind until he came right back to what he originally thought was the problem.
His betrayal. Slowly, his guilt began to build back up until it became a mass in his throat that refused to go down. He didn't often feel guilt, and he certainly didn't like it, but no amount of finger snapping would save his riled emotions now.
He didn't deserve this. He nearly caused Tirek to take control of everything, and yet he got off with no repercussions? No consequences at all?
One would expect him to be happy about it, but he wasn't. He refused to be. This wasn't about him at all; it was about Fluttershy. Words wouldn't be enough. He had to do something; something to prove that he'd never steer away from her again.
He thought long and hard until his eyes met with his mismatched hands. He gazed at the chaotic form called his body, then slowly rose to his feet, a determination rising within him.
He lifted his hand and snapped once more, his body vanishing as he teleported away.
There was yet another friend he needed to see.