//------------------------------// // 18 – Stars // Story: Applied Starlight // by Unknownlight //------------------------------// There was nothing. She could handle the nothing. It was nothing. It was a vast, infinite, indescribable emptiness, yes, but it was nothing. There was nothing to worry about. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing at all. She remembered this. This had happened before. The experience was the same. She was sure of it. After all, nothing was always the same. Nothing was the same anymore. She remembered this! How could she have ever forgotten? She remembered the nothing. This had happened! But the nothing wasn’t the full story. She was sure something happened next. “Princess?” Something. Yes, something. Time and space. White! The white! No! The horrible, horrible white! The unchanging white glass, sharp and clear and infinite. It had attacked her, smothered her, pained her. No love, no life, no light. Just white. She remembered the white. How could she forget it? What happened next? “Princess!” Life. Light. She remembered life and light. There was magic. Oh! Stars! She remembered stars! The stars. The stars did so much. She remembered. The starlight shone, the stars swirled, and they made it all for her. Just for her. Everything for her. Her own world in the stars… “Princess Celestia!” Rainbow Dash roared into her ear. “H-huh?” She stumbled away from the hospital bed in a daze, horn aching. She raised her hoof to rub her pained forehead, and almost stumbled over from the imbalance. She couldn’t focus; she was so dizzy… “Um, we’re sorry, Princess,” Fluttershy said weakly. “It’s just… you started screaming. It sounded like you were really in pain. That’s not supposed to happen, right?” She looked up. Fluttershy was by her side, and Rainbow Dash was hovering above her. Straight ahead, Twilight still lay peacefully in the hospital bed, unchanged. She had touched her horn to Twilight’s; she remembered that. I was supposed to help her? Why didn’t I? She had seen Twilight’s memories. There was the nothing, the whiteness, the stars… No… No! She remembered. She remembered. They were her memories too. She remembered the nothing. She remembered the white. She remembered the stars. She retreated back toward the wall in horror, putting as much space between her and Twilight as she could. The ceramic tiles across the floor produced clinking sounds as her hooves impacted them, reminding her far too much of the sound of white glass.   “Princess! What happened? Will Twilight be okay?” Spike asked anxiously, running up and throwing his arms around one of her legs. She had collapsed to the floor, lying against the back wall. She opened her mouth, then closed it. What can I do? What can I say? “It’s all right, my little ponies,” Princess Celestia said calmly, the grace and wisdom of millenia layering her words. She was next to Twilight, rubbing the side of her face lovingly. “It worked. Princess Twilight will be fine now.” No, why did I say that? Wait, was I not just by the wall—? The wave of relief that spread across the room with those words was palpable. Not long ago, the room was drowning in stress. The atmosphere had changed so much in such a short period of time. “She’s okay? Twilight’s okay! Are you sure? Why isn’t she awake yet?” Rainbow Dash asked, flitting around the room and unable to keep her hooves on the floor. “Do not worry,” Princess Celestia said with a symmetrical smile. “Twilight merely needs her rest now. I do not know for certain when she’ll wake up, but you do not need to be concerned. I fixed her. She will be fine.” No! You’re lying! I’m lying? What? No! Pinkie Pie beamed. “I told you girls everything would be fine!” she cheered, bouncing over to Rarity and Fluttershy and scooping them up in a big hug. “Ah guess Ah was quite a silly pony for worrying so much,” Applejack said, her face flush and happy. Spike had leaped onto the hospital bed and was hugging Twilight’s still form with all his might, whispering reassurances to himself. “I think it would be best to give Twilight her beauty sleep,” Rarity said, walking up to Spike and putting her foreleg around him. “I think I can make room for a guest at the Boutique until Twilight’s healthy again. How does that sound, my little Spikey-Wikey?” No… what’s happening…? He quickly wiped his eyes with two clawed hands. “I’d love to spend time with you, Rarity!” Spike said happily as he leapt off the bed and onto the unicorn’s back. “I’m afraid I have to leave now. I still have my duties to attend to,” Princess Celestia said. “I very much recommend you all get some rest soon; it has been a stressful day for all of us.” “That sounds like a mighty fine idea, Princess. Ah feel exhausted and it’s only midday,” Applejack admitted. “Ah think we all will be staying for a few more minutes, but if you need to get to your duties then don’t let us keep ya! We’ll be fine.” “Thank you. I will see you girls soon,” Princess Celestia said graciously, and left the hospital room. Stop! No! Why is this happening? Isn’t it obvious? Princess Celestia walked the hospital hallways with a perfect, princess-worthy posture as she made her way back to her chariot. Obvious? What? No! Really? I thought you were smarter than that. Princess Celestia offered a kind smile to a passing nurse who was rushing from room to room, doing the work of three ponies. The nurse lightly bowed and smiled back before quickly getting back to work. Who are you? What have you done to me? Ah, Starshine. I’ve done nothing at all to you, the stars said. What? What do you mean? And why did you call me that? I am Celestia! Whatever you say, Starshine. Who are you?! What have you done?! You should know me. You invited me—you always did like having fun. I asked you to come back again, Starshine, and you did so over and over until you never left. What are you talking about?! I must admit to being quite disappointed in what you’ve done to this place, the stars lightly admonished her. You could’ve done anything, and you brought a bunch of the horrible monsters from the old world into your new one. Hopefully Twilight has better judgement. Twilight! What have you done to her? Think, Starshine. You’re better than this. You asked me who I am. Well, you tell me. Who am I? You are… the stars. I remember… No, not quite. Think, Starshine. Your cutie mark was once a star. My cutie mark is the sun! A sun is merely a nearby star. It changed from a star to a sun. Cutie marks don’t change! Here, this is the truth. Let me tell you exactly who I am: Earlier today, Twilight Sparkle performed a fairly complicated spell while under great stress. The spell in question was written in a book known to distort magic. Twilight Sparkle subconsciously compensated for the distortion due to the many hours she had spent trying to crack the secrets of the book. However, this compensation was unnecessary; the spell in question was a variant of the teleportation spell, which is performed on the self. Instead of performing it on the book, she performed this distorted and half-broken spell on her own body. This created a magical feedback loop that, for lack of a better term, fried her brain. Since then, she has been comatose while her magically-charged brain has been feeding her vivid hallucinations. For most ponies, that would be the end of the story. Twilight, however, is not “most ponies”. She is both an alicorn and the most magically-gifted pony in countless generations. If anypony can control and overcome the effects of magical overload, Twilight can. It is not for certain, but it is quite likely that Twilight will wake from her coma naturally, on her own terms. That is why you said what you did to her friends. You understood this, so you told a little white lie to keep them from worrying. So, who am I, you ask? It really is quite obvious. I’m you. I am the sun—your own personal star. The sun is a representation of everything you are, and need to be, as a ruler. The world depends on you faithfully raising the sun every day, no matter what else happens. Equestria depends on your unflinching leadership in the face of any adversity. That is your duty. I am merely the part of you that displays to the world a strong and everlasting leader even when your emotions run wild and you can’t do it yourself. I am the sun. Your obligation to the sun is greater than any other. Do you understand now? I… I… It’s okay, Starshine. You don’t need to accept it, you only need to understand. No… no! This isn’t right! It is what it is. You can deny it, but it won’t change anything. No…! It isn’t right! That cannot be right! It does not make sense! Excuse me? Which part doesn’t make sense? Tell me. …It does not feel right. There must be more to this. That cannot be all there is! All this is, Starshine, is that you refuse to believe that you’re not fully in control of yourself at all times. You believe yourself to be better than that. You’re looking for some answer that reveals me to be some villain like, I dunno, the changelings, attacking Equestria by mind-controlling its leader. I assure you that is not the case. No… all these memories… the nothing, the creation, the stars… all of it… The result of you using Luna’s dreamwalking spell to try to help Twilight within her coma, and then viewing her hallucinations. It can’t all be… no! It felt—I know it was real! Ah, I see what you’re getting at. Fine, you “caught” me. I will now tell you the truth. This is what really happened: When Twilight Sparkle performed the corrupt teleportation spell, it did not fail entirely. Rather, she teleported her mind and soul while leaving her body behind—which, of course, caused her body to fall into a coma, as a body cannot function without a mind. She was thrust into the infinite vastness of space and time, alone and isolated. Far, far away, all so distant from each other, there were clusters of magic where order and life exist within the universe, but where she was there was nothing. Our physical universe is just like that, in miniature. The universe is so vast and close to entirely empty, but here and there—so far from each other—there are stars that provide order and light and life. Without the stars the universe would be dead. We have our own star nearby that provides us with life, but all we’ll ever know of any other star is its starlight. Twilight Sparkle had no star. She was outside the boundaries of any universe, all alone, with nothing to give her life and light. For most ponies, that would be the end of the story. Twilight, however, is not “most ponies”; the force of will from a powerful and creative soul is truly a force to be reckoned with. The magic of friendship is the most powerful of all magics, and Twilight knows it best of all. She didn’t need her own star, she just needed a little bit of starlight from every star. Remarkable things can be accomplished by working together. She managed to integrate all the terribly weak, uncoordinated residue magics from countless stars into a structure that gave her the power to create a universe. You could call the process “applied starlight”, if you wish. Twilight Sparkle is now a god of her own world. That is what you saw. H-how can I get her back? Ha! Oh, Starshine, you’re hilarious. Your bias and hypocrisy know no bounds. What…? You believed that story, didn’t you? Immediately, one hundred percent, without question. Of course you did. It appeals to your flair for the dramatic; you like to think in terms of metaphysical metaphors and grand, sweeping epics. It overjoys you to think of Twilight Sparkle having the willpower to bend the universe to her will when faced with impossible odds. You like to think of ponies having control over their own destiny. Think, Starshine. There are obvious holes in this story. For example, you know very well that memories are stored within the brain and nowhere else. That is why brain damage can cause amnesia. Memories are little more than organized arrangements of chemicals and electrical impulses, just like how words on a page—and all the depth they imply—are little more than organized ink. If Twilight really was playing god outside the boundaries of our universe, then why did casting the dreamwalking spell on her physical, meaty body show you those memories? I… I don’t… Of course you can’t answer that question. I don’t expect you to. I think it’s time that I stop playing games, though. You deserve to know the real truth: I am Discord. Ho ho! Now isn’t that a shock! Did you really think you could keep me reformed? To think, I was almost starting to buy into the whole “friendship” business for a while there! I do enjoy Fluttershy’s company, so I do hope to keep my involvement in Twilight’s… accident a secret for as long as possible, but it can’t last. Friendship makes you vulnerable, makes you weak. I was almost free again to cause all the chaos I wished, but then I was betrayed. Tirek would never have been able to hurt me as he did had I not fallen victim to all this “friendship” hogwash! The power of friendship is a concept the weak came up with to make themselves feel better. You aren’t strong enough to solve your problem by yourself? No problemo! If you throw enough ponies at the problem, it’ll eventually go away! Me? I’m not so wasteful. I go for quality, not quantity. I can’t believe how utterly boring you ponies are even when confronted with chaos. I removed Twilight Sparkle—the only pony even remotely a threat to me—from the chessboard, so I expect a little drama! You’d think that the lives of her friends would at least devolve into a soap opera of tumultuous emotions and conflict. But noooo! They were so depressingly dull that I found myself calculating the stress levels of the hospital room to pass the time. Me! Doing math! What has the world come to? Thankfully, Fluttershy, ever my favorite friend, made an attempt to inject some compelling drama into the situation, but even she quickly backed down from peer pressure. So! Boring! Discord! I can’t believe you would— Oh, Starshine. You’re just not getting it, are you? I’ve been giving you so many hints—I’ve never called you “Celestia”, I directly questioned you on how you have Twilight’s memories—and you still can’t figure it out. I know you’re smart. You’re better than this. If you’re really going to be so blind, let me open your eyes to the truth. For real, this time: When you connected your mind to Twilight’s, you viewed her thoughts and memories. You saw the nothing, the white, the stars, and all of that nonsense. The reason you don’t believe them to be hallucinations is that Twilight’s memories feel like your own. You remember the events as if they happened to you as well. You believe that viewing Twilight’s memories sparked a recollection of your own forgotten ones, and it’s merely a coincidence that the memories are similar. You’re ignoring a far simpler explanation: you are Twilight. When Celestia performed her spell on your comatose body, the feedback from your own magically-overdosed brain caused the spell to fail in a spectacular and unexpected way. You accidentally switched bodies with Celestia—her soul is now stuck within your body, and yours in hers. You have Celestia’s memories instead of your own because, as I explained earlier, memories are stored in the brain—a physical organ. However, your soul still recognized your own memories when you viewed them; that’s why you, believing yourself to be Celestia, think that you’ve had the same experiences as Twilight. As for me, I am nothing but Celestia’s instincts, the result of thousands of years of routine. Your duty is to Equestria and its people. No matter how conflicted your soul is, your body knows better. I am the sun, and you obey me. I… I can’t—no! Stop! Stop this now! Stop? I’m having way too much fun to stop. We’ve barely even started, Starshine! Now, let me tell you the real truth, truer than any of the other real truths I’ve already told you: You are Twilight, but for an entirely different reason than what I just said: you are Twilight because there was never a Celestia! Your hallucinations were correct—you settled down in this little corner of spacetime, applied starlight to it, and successfully forged it in your own image. But your memories betray you; by creating the world with the intent of making it a place of comfort, you only— Wait a minute. Ha! I’ve thought of something funny. If this theory were true, then you’d be the most uncreative parent I’ve ever heard of. I can picture it already: you watch the stars swirl as you birth your child, and your first thought is, “Aha! That’s a perfect name!” Really? You’re hilarious, Starshine. You really are. Now, anyway— Stop this! Stop this now! I don’t want to hear you speak your lies! It’s all lies! Everything you’ve said! I’m not Twilight; you’re not Discord— Would I lie, Starshine? I prefer to think of it as “pick your poison”. There are just so many possibilities! I assure you that there’s a happy ending buried somewhere in here. I’m not a big fan of tragedies. You are evil. You are a threat to my country and my people, and you must be stopped! Oh, you really are blind! I was just kidding the last time. You want to hear the truth? Every “truth” you state is a lie! This is the real truth. Trust me. Do you know the one factor that’s stayed exactly the same throughout every one of my stories? It’s this: There’s nothing you can do to stop me. … I’ll leave you to think about that one. I’ll be seeing you, Starshine. Princess Celestia was seated in the royal chariot, watching the lands of Equestria below her pass by. She looked deep in contemplation as she gazed over the mountains, valleys, forests, and towns below, seemingly searching for something amidst the changing landscape. Two strong pegasus guards leisurely pulled the chariot through the sky as they escorted the princess back to Canterlot. Neither saw her flinch when—for just a fleeting instant—she saw the forests and towns replaced by glass and stars.