Hello blackness… It’s been awhile, hasn’t it? Close to, what, three hours now? How are you? We just don’t talk like we used to, you know? It seems like nowadays it’s just me popping in to visit, and you just brooding there in silence, shunning me until I decide to go away.
What has driven us apart, blackness? Are you jealous that it’s Jess that’s forcing me to visit? Look, there is nothing going on between us. We’re just acquaintances, okay? Acquaintance with benefits. Why the singular, you ask, blackness? Well, I’m glad you asked! see, I get nothing out of our ‘friendship’, and she gets to kick my ass whenever she feels like it! That makes sense, right?
Brah, you’re talking to the nothingness again…
*Gasp* Brian! You take that back right this instant! Blackness is not ‘nothing’! Apologize, young man!
... How did… Frell. Crystal gave you a concussion, didn’t she?
Why would she give me a percussion? I’ma woodwind, silly!
... No words…
Then how about some pictures? Pictures are nice! I’m waiting for a couple of commissions to come in, you know!
Well… Al… righty then. You uh, just keep waiting here, and I’ll go take care of a few errands, yeah?
Okie! I wants a nap maybe…
Brian was left speechless as Fluffy proceeded to collapse in his own mindscape. How the hell did you manage to hit your head that hard when Jess only body-checked you into the room? I know you hit a table corner, but still…
Brian sighed, then popped his neck. Whelp, guess I get to play damage control. Assuming he wakes up, anyway… Meh, whatever. I’m sure we won’t miss much...
God dammit Brian! Why the heck didn’t you wake me up sooner?!
Gimme a break! I thought you needed to rest, so I let you rest!
For twenty freaking hours?!
... Yes.
... I… Brian, I swear, next time you do something like this, I just… I swear, I just can’t be held responsible for what I’m going to do to you!
Well, that’ll be a trick, considering you were already cleared of what you did to be before, and yet you bla-
Brian… shut your face before I do it for you.
Okay, sorry about that. I’m sure you’re all confused. Well, to be perfectly frank, (even though my name is Glenn) so am I! Time to do some investigating!
“Mista Fluffy!”
“Oof!”
Whelp, that’s Kaye accounted for. My head throbbed, and my limbs were still lead, but they weren’t quite as dense as before. Still as stiff, granted, but at least I should be able to manage a shamble somewhat close to walking speed, instead of the old school zombie shuffle. Improvements!
“What’s going on?” Oh wow, my voice is all crackly and raspy and stuff. Ow… Okay, guess I need some water if I’ve been unconscious for that-
No, screw that, I need a bathroom! Help! Where am I going? What do I do? “Why am I on a train?! No, screw that, I need a bathroom!”
There! The magical signs on the train led the way! Allons-y!
One refreshing trip to the restroom later, and it was investigating time! “Okay, so what the heck is going on?”
“You want the long version, the short version, or the Kaye version?”
I looked at Crystal, weighing my options carefully. Well, let’s see. Long version is probably boring, and the short version probably misses important details. That leaves…
Brah… Don’t do it…
Challenge accepted!
That wasn’t a challenge, dammit!
“Kaye ver-”
“Yayifications!”
I was plowed over by a pink ball of fluff. I really should have expected that. That was just sloppy form of me. “Okie, so Miss Rawr at Me said that, that we needed to go to the diamond on fire to talk to Princess Can Dance, and Princess Twi said she needed to talk to, to spikes, cause they’re super sharp, and there bees other Pokemons there, so we’s gonna be their friends! And that’s whai Mr. Mousie is going wiv us too! Right Mr. Flambie?”
I blinked, then looked over to Meis, who was peering rather intently at the lights in the ceiling. “Huh? But he doesn’t look anything like Flambie! How does a kid like you even know about Flambie, anyway?”
“It would seem that she and her… classmates had access to classic games, it seems,” Meis answered, glancing towards us.
“So why are you here, Meis?” I asked.
I felt shivers down my spine as his beak became wreathed in a goofy grin. He replied, “I like trains.”
Aaaand now Fluffy is cowering under a bench, clutching his tail as he strokes it. He has got issues, man! Though, to be fair, he is a fat kid. He’s bound to have issues if he turned to food for comfort.
Well, I’m bored again. Time to investigate the train for the third time, I suppose. Still, this train looked pretty cool from the outside. Had a snow-plow made from solid crystal ingrained to the engine car. Definitely looked like it would spear anything that got in its way, so that’s pretty cool.
Inside is fairly plain, really. Just some benches, a few with cushions, some rugs… Nothing overly fancy, but it’s actually pretty comfortable. Sure is crowded, though, even with that Totodile and Moonstone not coming. Blueblood and Rarity have been chatting in the back for most of the trip, mostly about fashion, as Twilight is nearby. She looks oddly pleased, but I haven’t been able to figure out why, even with my eavesdropping. I’m going to have to investigate further at a better opportunity.
Fluttershy stayed at home, as did the hyperactive pink friend of the Totodile’s. Wisp is here, as is Princess Luna. Wait… The train isn’t really that crowded, now that I look around, but then… why does it feel so c-
“Weee! Play wiv us, Cryssy! C’mon c’mom c’mon!”
Oh. Right. Silly me… Still, at least this Crystal Empire place sounds interesting. At least it’s a place that admits it’s an empire, and not a prissy monarchy that has multiple princess and…
Wait, what do you mean, the Crystal Empire is only made up of one town?! That’s bullshit! I swear, this world is crazy! I swear, maybe I’d be better off under the bench with Fluffy. At least he’s sane enough to realise this world is frelling psycho...