//------------------------------// // Prince Blueblood Saves the Royal Wedding (kind of) // Story: Sensational Serials: Silly, Short Stories for Silly, Short Ponies // by PhycoKrusk //------------------------------// ~This day has been just perfect~ Chrysalis, Queen of the Changelings, had won. Celestia was defeated, the Elements of harmony rendered ineffective, and no one was in any position to stop her. The day had been just perfect, and she couldn’t help but sing. ~The kind of day I've dreamed since I was sma- At least until the doors to the throne room burst opened and rudely interrupted her (again). With an angry huff, she and everyone else present turned around to look at the newest arrived, and were greeted by the sight on a white-furred stallion with a blonde mane, in a tuxedo jacket that looked as though he’d only managed to pull it on seconds before entering, panting as if he’d run a great distance, face turned towards the ground as he gasped. “Nopony panic!” he said, sucking in a deep breath and finally looking up. “I’m here… now….” He looked left, and was flanked by angry-looking bug ponies. He looked right, and was flanked by angry-looking bug ponies. “Huh,” he said after a few moments, “I’m, sorry, I didn’t realize there was a theme.” “There is.” Adopting a sinister smile once again, Chrysalis approached the stallion, taking in the details as she did. “Ah, you’re Prince Blueblood. I recognize you now. But yes, there is a theme. The End of Equestria has rather a nice ring to it, don’t you think?" Blueblood looked around again. The ponies quivering in fear. Those insufferable mares from Ponyville (and Fluttershy) under heavy guard by more bug ponies. Auntie Celestia in some kind of evil cocoon! Cousin Cady covered in goo! Shining Armor… Shining Armor! “Wait a minute!” Blueblood said, suddenly realizing what was happening. “This isn’t a wedding! It’s a hostage situation!" “Oh, look at that. You’ve managed to guess the game.” Even as she spoke, Chrysalis walked even closer to Blueblood. Her movements would have been sensual on another mare. Really, on any mare that wasn’t part insect. “For what little it counts for, at any rate." “You won’t get away with this!” Blueblood replied, snarling his answer out. “Oh, won’t I?” Chrysalis asked, sauntering even closer. “All the loose ends are tied off. I suppose there is you to consider, but you’re Prince Blueblood! The pony who lazes about growing fat while others do all the real work. And now, all the others are indisposed, and there is nothing that you can do about it.” She stopped before him and dipped her head down until her muzzle was mere inches from his. “Is there?" Many made the mistake of thinking that Prince Blueblood was basically useless, serving no real function anywhere in Equestria. Very quickly, they all learned just how wrong they were. Chrysalis herself was mere seconds away from learning the terrible mistake she had just made by accosting the Prince when he said seven, defiant words that would change forever the balance of power in the universe. “Get your ugly face away from me." The changeling recoiled away in shock, and then her expression flashed with anger. “How dare you!” she shouted. He horn burned bright with magic, energy rushing to the tip, preparing to erase all traces of the cretin before her. Had Chrysalis known what was to come, she would not have ignored Blueblood’s rising war cry, for rather than dealing swift and deadly revenge, she was instead punched in the face, and then hammered by a veritable wall of royal hooves, too fast to avoid, too fast to even count. "Atatatatatata wa-ta!" Chrysalis recoiled away from the last blow, and the entirety of the throne room (save Blueblood) recoiled away from the absolute mess her face had become. She hurt. She felt like she was coming apart at her figurative (and perhaps even her literal) seams. She couldn't focus, her magic vanishing as if it had never been there at all, and she only barely registered another shout from Blueblood before she felt his hooves dancing over her again. "Atatatatatata-” The barrage ended suddenly. Just long enough for Blueblood to spin about and buck her in the chest hard enough to crack her muscles. “Wa-cha!” Chrysalis, Queen of the Changeling, flew through the air, tumbling end over end and wailing in absolutely agony. Her back collided with the wall hard enough to leave and indentation in her approximate shape, and she stuck there, suspended in the air by the force she had been hit with. And then, she exploded outward like a water balloon filled with iridescent, green blood. The changelings all gaped in horror, and then spun to look at Blueblood, eyes wide with terror. Blueblood, his back to them, wiped the beginnings of a bead of sweat from his brow, and then turned around to face the swarm, asking a single question that told each of them their fate was sealed. “Who’s next?” “Who’s next?” “Who’s next?” “Who’s next?” “Who’s next… who’s next….” Blueblood mewled, still in the throes of sleep. “Who’s n-AH!” Up until he rolled out of bed and landed with a hard thump on the floor. “Ow….” Taking a few moments to compose himself, he rolled over and pushed himself up to his haunches before taking in the room around him. Plush rug over stone floor, enormous four-poster bed, reading cushion guarded by a gigantic pile of stuffed animals. Yes, he was in his bedroom. “Huh. Guess it was just a dream,” he said to no one in particular. With a mighty yawn, he observed his alarm clock. Specifically, he observed how late in the afternoon it was. “Ah! The wedding!” Seconds later, the door to his chambers flew opened and Blueblood exploded out into the corridor, tuxedo halfway on and making no progress fast. “Crap, crap, crap, crap!” He went sliding across the floor, whipping himself in a circle and pulling his forelegs into the air long enough to finish getting his jacket on. And then, he skidded to a halt just as somepony, or rather, something else did. They stopped just inches away from each other, staring at who they had run into. Standing before Blueblood, looking just as surprised as him, was one of the black, chitinous monsters he’d seen just the night before: A changeling. His eyes widened in shock, and then his blood boiled: No love stealing bug was going to ruin his cousin’s wedding! The Prince’s body suddenly surged to life, and he sprung forward so quickly, he surprised even himself. Before the changeling had a chance to react, he thrust his hoof forward and into its muzzle. “A-ta!" The result was immediate, and as if he were lightly bonking a changeling in the nose to absolutely no effect, he lightly bonked the changeling in the nose to absolutely no effect. The changeling looked at Blueblood. Blueblood looked at the changeling. The changeling glanced to Blueblood’s outstretched hoof, and then back to the pony himself, eyes narrowed. “Eh, heh heh,” Blueblood said nervously, smiling uneasily as he withdrew his leg and placed it back on the floor. He was shaking, just a little bit. He was starting to sweat bullets. He was in trouble. “You’re, erm, already dead?” Completely unamused by anything that had just happened, the changeling took a single step forward and raised and laid its own hoof on Blueblood’s shoulder, right where it met with the neck and withers, and tweaked the nerves clustered there. In an instant, the Prince lost consciousness and fell to the ground in a messy heap, as if he were a puppet that had all its strings cut simultaneously. The changeling watched the heap of pony for a moment, and then with a disgusted snort, turned and trotted away to join the rest of the swarm, leaving Blueblood to continue being what he was best at being: Basically useless.