Shore leave meant different things to different ponies. Vinyl and Octavia, for instance, saw it as an opportunity to spend time together. They would often take in the sites or enjoy whatever night life they could find on the Border planets. They slept in late, went window shopping, and occasionally got thrown out of nice restaurants when Vinyl’s antics went a little too far.
Thunderlane had his own business to attend to. His plans almost always consisted of drinking, fighting, and finding a mare afterward. Sometimes he mixed up the order to keep things interesting, or attempted to do all three at the same time just to see if he could.
Unlike her friends, Bon Bon saw shore leave as a business opportunity. Every space port had a few lonely ponies with the funds to hire a Companion for the evening. If she happened to eat well and have a lovely time in the process, well, she wouldn’t complain.
Nopony knew what Lyra did during shore leave. If she left the ship, she did so after everypony else was already gone and was back before they returned.
There was a comfortable routine in place between the Companion and her Captain. Bon Bon would announce that she had a client lined up, while Lyra mocked her and pretended not to care. They had been retracing the same steps for a long time, and showed no signs of stopping. It helped keep their relationship strictly professional.
Lyra was sitting in the galley when Bon Bon found her, looking over a small collection of weapons that included her beloved revolver. She was running a cleaning rag through the tiny barrels of her derringer, and had polished the little gun until it was completely spotless. “Lyra?” Bon Bon called. The unicorn shouted and jumped out of her chair. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle.”
“I wasn’t startled!” Lyra said a little too quickly. “I-I was just… it’s sort of a fierce… waaah.” She frowned at Bon Bon’s amused look. “What do you want, anyway? Sneakin’ up on a pony handling their weapon ain’t an overly bright thing to do.”
“You’d be surprised how often I hear that.” Bon Bon frowned at the small arsenal and the dirty towel on which it was lying. “Must you do that here?”
“Only place with a big enough table.” Lyra looked the weapon over and, once satisfied, set it aside before going to work on her revolver. “You need something, or were you just here to see my equipment?” She winced at the unfortunate choice of words.
“I’ll be gone for a few days,” Bon Bon said. “I trust you won’t get into any trouble?”
Lyra glanced up at her in surprise. “A few days? Don’t know who this stallion is, but he must have stamina.”
“She does,” Bon Bon confirmed. “Not that it’s any of your business.”
Lyra chuckled as she removed the cylinder from her sidearm. “Far be it from me to get in the way of your whorin’. Don’t worry about us; we’ll be here when you get back.” She looked over the bronze-colored metal of the gun’s barrel and let out a low whistle. “Shiny. The Moses brothers sure make a fine product, don’t they?”
“Who are they?” Bon Bon asked.
The unicorn rolled her eyes and held up her pistol. “Moses brothers? As in, Moses Brothers Self-Defense Engine, Frontier Model B? Come on, mare. Show some class for Luna's sake.”
Bon Bon giggled and swatted Lyra’s shoulder with her purse. “Says the pony that can’t even set the table properly.” She picked up the derringer and snapped the barrels shut. “Small, concealable pistols go to the far left of the place setting. Any well-bred brigand should know that.” She looked at the pistol in her hooves, noticing a disparity between it and the Captain's other weaponry. “Why do you even have this? It's so tiny.”
Lyra shrugged and dripped some oil onto a rag. “Because it’s pretty."
Nothing in the Captain’s tone indicated that she was joking, but Bon Bon was interrupted by the ship's intercom before she could press further. “Hey, Lyra?” Vinyl called. “I was making one last check of the ship’s systems before we left, and I noticed that we’ve got a distress call coming in.”
“You sure it’s meant for us?” Lyra asked. “Seems a mite strange to contact us instead of the station we’re docked with.”
“It’s for Bon Bon."
Lyra and the Companion exchanged confused looks. “I’ll take it in my shuttle,” Bon Bon said, and trotted out of the galley.
The Captain shrugged and went back to her guns. “Would this distress happen to be in somepony's pants?” she called, and chuckled when she heard Bon Bon groan. She pieced her revolver back together and slid it into her holster.
Lyra stared at a random spot on the wall for a moment, lost in thought. Her pistol felt familiar in the grip of her magic; its comforting weight was like an old friend that had seen her through some of the worst times of her life. The only companion that had been with her for longer was Octavia.
The revolver snapped to attention at eye level, moving so quickly that conscious thought would only have slowed it down. “Waah!”
*****
Bon Bon was thrilled to see an old friend’s face, but she knew within moments that they would not be having a pleasant conversation. The mare’s jaw was tense, her eyes were weary, and her mane desperately needed brushing.
Despite the hard times that had clearly been wearing on her, the former Companion was undeniably beautiful. She and Bon Bon had graduated from the Academy at the same time, and made certain to keep in touch afterward. “Colgate!” Bon Bon exclaimed. “Tzoo-foo nee, mei-mei! How are you? How is the ranch?”
“It's lovely to see you, too,” Colgate said. Her mouth turned up in a smile that no amount of hardship could suppress. “I wish it were under better circumstances.”
“What’s the matter?”
Colgate shrugged. “The same thing as always, only more so. Veiled threats and a pretty pistol aren’t going to be enough to protect us this time. I know it’s imposing, but I don’t have anypony else to call. The Guild and I aren’t exactly on the friendliest of terms these days. You mentioned that you were traveling with some rough types, so… well, here we are. I need some muscle, and I need it fast.”
“It sounds like the kind of job this group can handle,” Bon Bon said thoughtfully. “I can’t promise that they’ll handle it very well, but I’m sure they won’t mind waiving some weaponry around if the payment is there.”
“Payment isn’t a problem,” Colgate assured her. “We just aren’t equipped for this. As long as they’ve got guns and brains –”
Bon Bon gave her friend a badly needed reassuring smile. “They have guns, at least. I’ll talk it over with them. With any luck, we’ll be there soon.”
“Thank you,” Colgate said. Some of the tension eased out of her, an ounce of weight removed from the titanic load on her shoulders. “You’ve got no idea how good it is to hear that. Some of the mares here don’t have anywhere else to go.”
“It’s going to be alright. You know, you could have contacted the High Priestess about this. She’d make an exception to the laws for an old friend.”
Colgate shook her head sadly. “I tried. They wouldn’t let me speak to her. Apparently she's too important to deal with the problems of a lowly sinner such as myself. How is she, by the way? I assume that she’s still allowed to speak to you.”
It took a long time for Bon Bon to decide how to answer the question. She and Colgate had both been trained personally by Lady Rarity, who at the time had been one of the most successful Companions in the ‘Verse. She was more than a decade Bon Bon’s senior, but retained her youthful appearance and energy with seemingly no effort at all. As far as anypony could tell she hadn’t aged a day in at least ten years.
Rarity’s beauty wasn’t the only exceptional thing about her. It was a well-known fact that she was one of the greatest minds in the world of high culture, and the Companion's Guild had flourished under her guidance. Her dinner parties were the most exclusive in the ‘Verse, her charities raked in more money than the GDP of some planets, and her fashion lines often caused lesser designers to burst into tears.
She was also prone to fits of extreme depression and loneliness. The life of one of the Elements of Harmony appeared glamorous only when a pony didn't look too closely, and Bon Bon had been given a very close look indeed. No matter how successful Rarity became, she would never want to trade places.
“She’s doing as well as can be expected,” Bon Bon said after some thought. “The Defense Council isn’t letting her see clients anymore, but they can’t shut down her charities or prevent her from running the Guild remotely. They’ve got a very nice compound set up for her and the others. Her sister gets to visit sometimes.”
“She deserves better,” Colgate muttered. “A gilded cage is still a cage, as they say.”
Bon Bon agreed wholeheartedly. “Lovely ponies, the Defense Council. May they all choke to death on their own inflated senses of self-importance. I’ll tell her that you were asking about her; she likes to be reminded that she still has friends on the outside.”
Colgate nodded, and reached for something off screen. “I hope to see you soon,” she said. The connection went dark, and Bon Bon turned off her monitor.
“I take it you heard that?” she asked.
Lyra leaned in through her door. “Only ‘cause I was eavesdropping. It sounds like your friend is in need of a little help. Why doesn’t she just ask one of the locals? A pretty mare like that could bat her eyes and have every lawpony in the territory at her beck and call.”
“She doesn’t have that luxury,” Bon Bon said. “Ponies like Colgate don’t often get much sympathy from the law."
“And why is that?”
Bon Bon hesitated to answer. “They’re... whores.” She made a face like she’d just swallowed a teaspoon of castor oil.
“I thought you didn’t much like that word,” Lyra said. “What gives?”
“It fits.” The Companion sighed. “Colgate left the Guild years ago. She and another Companion went into business for themselves. They recruited a few locals to help out, and moved into a large ranch house just outside of Forgeright. They’re quite successful, so payment won’t be an issue.”
Lyra waved a hoof dismissively. “Keep your money,” she said. “No debts between friends.”
Bon Bon’s eyes widened slightly. Lyra had turned down work before, but had never offered to take on a job for free. “That’s quite alright,” she said as the beginnings of a blush colored her cheeks. She turned away quickly before the Captain could notice. “You’ll be paid. I think it’s important to keep this a strictly business relationship. I’ll contact Colgate right away to give her the news.”
She didn’t see Lyra’s hurt look. The unicorn quietly trotted away, stung at how quickly Bon Bon had rejected her generosity.
*****
The group assembled in the cargo hold before setting out for the Heart of Gold Ranch. Lyra stood in the center of the room and addressed her crew. “This job’s got nothing offered up front,” she said. “It’s what you might call speculative. You can go with us or stay here, whichever you prefer.”
“Fine by me,” Thunderlane grumbled. The irritable pegasus was draped over one of the catwalks above the rest of the crew, all four limbs dangling over the edges. He was cranky, hung-over, and annoyed at having his shore leave cut short. “Don’t see much need to stick my neck out when I don’t know if I’m getting’ paid.”
“Nopony’s forcing you,” Lyra said. “Shepherd, what about you?”
Shepherd Mac scuffed his hoof on the floor. “Don't know how welcome a preacher'd be in a place like that,” he mumbled. “Still, Ah know my way around a hammer and nail. Don’t feel right just sittin’ by while innocent ponies die.”
“Don’t seem right riskin’ anything for nothin’ neither,” Thunderlane complained. “I don’t know these folks, and I don’t much care to. You ever think about what happens if they can’t pay? Hey, what’s nothin’ split eight ways? Let me do the math here. That’s nothin’, divided by nothin', carry the nothin’. Split that by eight and, uh… hmm.” He tapped his hooves together, trying to work through something in his head.
Vinyl leaned over to whisper in her wife’s ear. “I'm not sure what’s worse; that he tried to use fake math to insult us, or that he actually confused himself with it.”
“They’re whores,” Lyra said.
Thunderlane’s head rose off the floor, his ears perking up at the news. “They're what now?”
Most of the group quickly dispersed after the briefing was finished, but Derpy and Tick Tock stayed behind. “Captain?” the mechanic asked after the others were gone. “Maybe I shouldn't go. I don’t do well with guns.”
“You could always help Mac make the place safe,” Lyra offered. “Doc, the same goes for you. If you’re willin’ to lend a hoof, you’ll be paid for it. I won’t make anypony go, but I won’t stop them either.”
“Hey, Lyra!” Thunderlane called from above. “You said this Companion friend of Bon Bon’s went to the Academy with her, right?” Lyra nodded. “And they were both trained by that fancy unicorn on all them propaganda posters?”
“Sure,” Lyra said. “Bon Bon’s got powerful friends in the Guild. What’s your point?”
Thunderlane frowned at the floor, deep in thought. After a moment he nodded with satisfaction. “I’ll be in my bunk.”
In a moment the implication sank in, and Lyra glared up at him. “You’re disgusting.”
*****
Sereneighty landed a quarter of a mile away from the Heart of Gold Ranch. It was close enough for an easy walk, but far enough away that the wind kicked up by the ship’s atmospheric engines wouldn’t disturb anything around the house.
The house itself had once been impressive, but its appearance was diminished somewhat by the sheets of glimmering metal draped over the walls. A large oak tree stood nearby, stubbornly thriving despite the terrible climate. “That’s the cathouse?” Thunderlane asked. “Why’s it look like a TV dinner?”
“Solar foil,” Derpy explained. “It provides power and helps keep the interior from getting too hot. Neat, isn't it?”
Thunderlane didn’t look satisfied. “Hope the whores are prettier than the house.”
The group was greeted at the door by a plum-colored pony with glazed eyes and a mildly annoyed frown. A curtain of small iron beads hung in the doorway and obscured her vision, but she made no attempt to brush them out of the way. “Wuzzat?” she grumbled, wincing at the bright light outside. “Whaddaya want?”
Lyra and Octavia looked at one another. “Uh, is this the Heart of Gold Ranch?” the unicorn asked. “We’re the hired guns.”
The drunken mare looked both of them over with bleary eyes. “Colgate!” she shouted. “Ponies are here.” She turned and staggered toward the stairs, passing a bright blue unicorn along the way.
Bon Bon pushed to the front of the group and gasped at the sight of her friend. “Colgate!” she exclaimed as the two mares grabbed each other in a hug. “It’s been so long!”
“Two years at least,” the unicorn agreed. She politely kissed Bon Bon’s cheeks, then welcomed the rest of the group inside. The entryway opened into a lovely sitting room filled with couches, reclining chairs, and tea tables. Ponies, zebras, griffons, and even a few diamond dogs were waiting for them with welcoming smiles. Thunderlane stamped the ground in excitement as he began sizing up his options.
“You’ll have to excuse Berry,” Colgate said. “She fell off the wagon a few weeks ago, and we’ve been trying to convince her to sober up. My name is Colgate Minuette, and these fine fillies and gentlecolts are my employees.”
“Captain Lyra Heartstrings,” Lyra said, offering her hoof. They shook, and she indicated her second in command. “This is my first mate, Octavia. I can introduce you to the others later if you want, but you can trust them. They’re all good ponies.”
Thunderlane cleared his throat irritably. “Can I start gettin’ sexed now?”
Lyra’s confident smile immediately fell away. “Actually, that one’s pretty horrific. The rest aren't so bad.”
Thunderlane sidled up alongside a nearby earth pony and put his foreleg around her shoulder. “May we talk business?” Octavia asked, making no effort to hide her distaste. “It may be best if we discuss the specifics of our arrangement in private.”
“In here,” Colgate said, indicating the next room. “For the rest of you, there’s food and liquor in the cabinet. Feel free to make yourselves at home. The girls will help you with whatever you need.”
Distracted as he was, Thunderlane didn’t seem to hear her. “Look at ‘em all!” he said, whooping excitedly. “There’s so much tail in here my belt buckle’s fixin’ to pop off and go flyin’ around the room!”
Vinyl groaned and rolled her eyes. “It figures that you’d get the most poetical about getting laid.”
A pair of mares honed in on Tick Tock, who began to look increasingly nervous as they got closer. “Are you the doctor?” one of them asked. “Miss Colgate said a doctor was coming. There’s a little filly upstairs that hasn’t been feeling well. We can’t pay you, but do you think you could take a look at her?”
Visibly relieved, Tick Tock grabbed his medical bag and adjusted his tie. “Absolutely. Where can I have room to examine her?”
Derpy remained off to one side of the room, content to stay out of the way. “They’ve got stallion whores too,” she said, indicating one corner of the room. Vinyl glanced at a small gathering of ponies that were playing cards around one of the tea tables. “That's thoughtful. D’you think they deal with mares at all?”
“No idea,” Vinyl said. “Probably best if we don’t ask. Why? Are you interested?”
“Oh, no!” Derpy’s eyes widened, and her wings rustled anxiously. “No, I could never! It’s just....” She glanced forlornly at Tick Tock as he followed the mares upstairs. “It isn’t like anypony else is lining up to, um, examine me.” She watched as Thunderlane motioned to a zebra mare on his way out with the earth pony. “Am I pretty, Vinyl?”
The pilot barely managed to stop herself from laughing. One look at Derpy told her that it would have crushed the poor pegasus. “If I wasn’t married and you were into mares, I’d rock your world.”
“Because I’m pretty?” Derpy asked hopefully.
“Because you’re pretty.” Vinyl ruffled Derpy’s mane, glad that she had cheered her friend up a little. “Come on; let’s see what kind of tech we're working with around here.”
While the others attended to business, Shepherd Mac made himself a sandwich. He didn’t have anything to do at the moment, but he knew that soon enough he’d be called on to help fortify the house. He was no stranger to hard work, and preferred not to do any on an empty stomach.
Two of the house’s employees soon approached him. “Excuse me, Shepherd?” one of them asked. She was a diamond dog, but spoke with the refinement of a Core pony. It probably came from having Miss Colgate as a teacher.
“Nope,” Mac said, politely but firmly. “Thanks, but Ah'm fine here.”
The diamond dog’s friend, an earth pony, snickered. “I’m Daisy, and this is Jennie. We were hoping to have a prayer meeting.”
“We haven’t had one in ages,” her friend said. “’Cept what Bluebell reads out on Sundays. Last preacher pony that came by here was Father Springtime, and he only read but one passage. Took it out in trade from the both of us.”
The thought of a preacher taking advantage of anypony like that made Mac feel a little sick to his stomach. Since he'd lost his appetite, he decided that it might be nice to pass the time some other way. “Alright,” he said. “Get whoever wants to listen together.”
*****
Bon Bon waited patiently while Lyra, Octavia, and Colgate talked business. She wasn’t technically a member of Lyra’s crew, and she certainly had no right to weigh in on Colgate’s side of the deal. She had, however, brought the two of them together and wanted to be sure that they understood one another.
“Any idea why this mare wants you gone?” Lyra asked.
Colgate shook her head with the air of somepony that had learned long ago not to ask such questions. “Does anypony really need a reason?” She asked. “We’re whores. Well, they’re whores. I’m retired. Maybe she’s jealous, or she’s decided that Celestia wouldn’t approve of what we do. Maybe she had a bad experience with a stallion and blames us for it.” She snorted disapprovingly. “Personally, I figure she just hates changelings like everypony else around here. If that’s the case, then nearly half of my girls would be on her hit list.”
“Changelings as prostitutes?” Octavia asked. “Is that wise? What if they attempt to establish another hive?”
“There aren't many other options for them,” Colgate said. “They can’t get by on food alone, and most ponies aren’t likely to give them any affection to feed on. Combine that with all the hate in the air these days, and their future starts to look pretty bleak anywhere else. If Mjolna had her way they’d all be in iron cages by the end of the week. I refuse to let that happen.”
Lyra took in the hard setting of her jaw and the battle-tested resolve in her eyes. “I can see that,” she said admiringly. “This law pony sounds like quite a character. I’d like to meet her.”
“Igneous Rock and his family like to throw parties whenever they can find an excuse. There’s a small charity dinner tonight to raise money for the local church. As an officer of the law, she's required to attend.”
“Sounds like as good a place as any,” Lyra said. “Octavia, stay here and see if we can make any plans for fortifyin’ the place. Bon Bon, do you think you could stoop to being on my shoulder for the night?”
The Companion grinned. “Only if you wash it first.”
*****
Lyra didn’t like garden parties. She hated dressing up, brushing her mane, and observing all the little rules of etiquette that high society seemed so enamored with. She also disliked crowds in general, especially when everypony was a total stranger. The fact that most of those strangers were inevitably going to regard her with barely hidden suspicion only made it that much more difficult to slap on the big, fake smile that they were all expecting.
In a way it was refreshing to be treated with open contempt. She could tell that Mjolna wouldn't be very friendly when Bon Bon pointed across the garden to an austere mare in a military uniform. She had taken a table far away from the rest of the crowd, and looked like she was counting the minutes until she could go home.
The only other pony at the table was a handsome doctor that looked much more comfortable with the party than his companion. He smiled at everypony, even the few diamond dogs in attendance, without looking remotely bothered by his friend's attitude. “Here comes trouble,” he whispered as Lyra trotted across the garden.
“Just the hero of another story,” Mjolna muttered sourly. As usual she sounded completely unimpressed.
“Nice place,” Lyra said as she sat down. She politely pulled out a chair for Bon Bon with her magic, missing the Companion’s blush. “Does Sir Igneous throw parties like this often?”
“Sometimes,” Mjolna said. She stared at her glass of water as though wondering if she could somehow manage to drown herself in it. Her posture was so perfect that even Octavia would have called her uptight. “What do you want?”
Lyra glanced down at the hammer sitting next to Mjolna’s chair. “Nice!” she exclaimed, avoiding the question for the moment. “That’s for hunting the fair folk, isn’t it? You don’t see too many of those in the hooves of civilians. I love old war weapons; they’re like pieces of history, you know?”
Mjolna grabbed her hammer and heaved it onto the table. The resulting bang made several partygoers jump. “I made her myself,” she said proudly. “Burns a changeling like nothing you’ll ever see. She’s been with me for near a decade.”
“I know the feeling,” Lyra said. "I've got a wheel gun with a similar story."
“I just bet that you do.” Mjolna dropped her hammer to the ground again. “It’s probably something from the Moses brothers, I think. They were popular with the rebels. Your have the bearing of a Purplecoat, miss."
Lyra nodded and extended her hoof over the table. "Captain Lyra Heartstrings. Guilty as charged.”
Mjolna stared at the hoof without touching it, noting the cracked edges and old powder burns. “Good choice of words,” she said. “My name is Mjolna, and I have nothing to say to you. You are a criminal, I take it? Most of you are, you know, at least the ones that still wear purple.”
For a while nopony was sure how to react. Bon Bon looked nervous, but Lyra managed to keep her cool. “No need for that kind of talk.”
“There is always a need,” Mjolna argued. “You ought to know that, rebel that you were. When you wanted to be free of the Empire, you had need of that kind of talk. When you made your stand at Serenity Valley you talked some more. You Purplecoats do a lot of talking.” She leaned across the table with a smug smile. The sudden change in her attitude was quite unnerving. “You are not talking much anymore, are you? The war put a stop to that.”
“The war put a stop to a lot of things.”
Mjolna raised her glass and took a drink. “Some diamond dogs would agree with you, I think. Four dog soldiers lost for every pony or griffon, was it? I can never remember. I am bad with numbers. I wonder, did any of them talk like the rest of you?”
Lyra shrugged. “They sounded about like everyone else,” she said. Bon Bon could hear the tension in her voice. “If you don’t mind, we’ll take our leave. Bonny, shall we?”
“Oh, and Lyra?” Mjolna asked. “There is a whorehouse nearby. The ponies around here have gotten very suspicious of the goings on there.” She pointed to another table, where a drunken pegasus was trying to argue with the town’s sheriff. “Boxxy Brown lost his wife recently, and he blames the insects nesting in that house. There are many that agree with him. You should stay away from that place if you can.”
“I’ll be sure to give it a wide berth,” Lyra said.
As they trotted away, they heard Mjolna’s companion whisper something to her. “What is that supposed to mean?” she asked. "I was polite!"
Lyra got a good look at the sheriff as they passed. He was a dead ringer for Mjolna’s unicorn friend, but lacked the horn and perfectly combed mane. “Evenin’ ladies,” he said, and tipped his hat to the two of them. Moments later he was dragging the pegasus out of his chair and hauling him off to sober up in a jail cell.
“Lovely town,” Bon Bon noted. “You’ve seen what we’re up against now. What do you think?”
“She’s cute,” Lyra said. “Long legs, pretty face. She’s a bit rough around the edges, but I kind of like that. I’m pretty sure that she’s insane, though. That’s a turn off.”
Bon Bon smacked Lyra’s shoulder. “The plan, Captain. What’s the plan?”
“The plan is, we run.” Lyra began to walk faster, and the Companion struggled to keep up. “We get off this rock as fast as we can, and hope that she doesn't follow us.”