I look ridiculous.
One of the little pony-like quirks Cabbage had but rarely thought much about was an interest in fashion and cloth. She wasn’t an expert in the field by any means, but she knew enough about sewing to keep her sea-pony costume and Barnacle’s old sailor jacket in good repair, and occasionally did the same for Harlequin’s costumes. Trixie insisted on maintaining her cape and hat herself. Cabbage also loved to collect ribbons and cloth scraps, from which she had built herself a kind of security nest to hide in when her nerves got the best of her. Most of that collection had been lost along with the stage-wagon during Tremolo’s attack, yet Cabbage was surprised to find that she didn’t miss it as badly as she would have only a couple months ago. She also had a fairly good notion of what colors and styles of clothing worked well on her, and the costume the Cutie Mark Crusaders had made for her as an apology missed the mark in more than a few ways.
“Costume” was really the only word that fit the thing the Crusaders had unveiled and convinced Cabbage to try on once the four of them had returned to the Carousel Boutique. First there was the form-fitting long-sleeved purple shirt which, although it moved and stretched without clinging to her fur, looked like part of a horribly mis-colored Wonderbolts flight suit. Next was the skirt – overloaded with thick ruffles and not all suitable to pair with the shirt. Cabbage suspected the skirt only existed to hide her blank flank from sight. The worst part of the ensemble, however, was the mask. It was a wide feather eye mask that would only be considered remotely normal in a fashion contest or an outlandish opera production. The feathers were of every color of the rainbow, but arranged with no discernable pattern. It was big, loud, and confusing, and turned the whole costume from merely “in bad taste” to something no pony could help but stare at. In short, it was in no possible way “her”.
Although Cabbage believed that honesty was the best policy, the hopeful looks on her three friends’ faces were too pure to let down thoughtlessly. “It’s…” she began hesitantly.
“Go on,” Sweetie Bell urged. She looked the most invested in Cabbage’s opinion out of the trio.
“Well, I appreciate the thought,” Cabbage said at last, “but I don’t… quite get it. What is this?”
“It’s a stage costume,” Sweetie said proudly. Cabbage’s eyes widened slightly as she took a fresh look at herself in the mirror. The costume still seemed outlandish and excessive. “See,” Sweetie continued, “after your breakdown yesterday, we came up with the idea that you were scared to do your voice trick out in the open where ponies could see and recognize you.”
“That’s… pretty much it,” Cabbage said.
“With that in mind,” Sweetie Bell said, “we decided to make the costume for you to wear as a sort of… uh…”
“A disguise?” Cabbage guessed, dryly.
“That wasn’t exactly what I was going to say,” Sweetie said, glancing aside awkwardly.
“No, it’s ok,” Cabbage said, “I get it. You were hoping this would help me feel comfortable on stage.” She took another, long look at herself in the mirror, and then shook her head and removed the mask. “I’m sorry if this disappoints you girls, but this just wouldn’t be enough to let me dare imitate voices for an audience. Even if I… we… Trixie or somepony came up with a stage name and persona to go with this costume, it wouldn’t take long for ponies to realize it’s Cabbage Patch underneath it all. It’s happened with Mar the Sea-pony already. The shirt material’s really nice though.”
“It’s made with a fabric Rarity designed herself,” Sweetie said. “Actually, she helped out a little with the whole ensemble. She’ll be happy to know it fits so well. We had to guess your measurements and use Apple Bloom for the fitting.”
“You know,” Scootaloo said, “if you really don’t want to be known for voice mimicking, you could always just change your look entirely, being a Changeling and-”
“That would be even worse,” Cabbage interjected, whirling on the pegasus, her eyes wide with shrunken irises. “A performer who is never seen except on the stage? One more pony listed as part of Trixie’s Royal Thespians than actually exist? Do you know what kind of questions that would raise? The kind of mud-digging gossip-mongers it’d attract?”
“Whoa,” Scootaloo said, recoiling from the onslaught of hysterics, “sorry, just trying to help.”
“I get enough of that sort of help from Harlequin, thank you,” Cabbage said bitterly. Seeing and sensing the hurt feelings she was causing in Scootaloo, she dropped her gaze contritely. “I’m sorry,” she said. “You mean well, and I do appreciate everything you three have done for me already. It’s just… Look, I’ll take the costume with me, and maybe, someday, I might actually be brave enough to use it.” The Cutie Mark Crusaders all beamed, and then proceeded to help Cabbage out of the costume and pack it up.
“Hold on a second,” Sweetie Bell said suddenly when the packing was nearly finished, “I just realized something. Cabbage, how have you lived so long without stealing love from anypony?”
“Because I haven’t had to steal any for years,” Cabbage answered.
“But don’t Changelings feed on stolen love?” Sweetie asked.
“Not quite,” Cabbage answered. “I mean, yes, most Changelings do kidnap and replace ponies to harvest the love intended for them, but that’s just a means to an end. Changelings can draw energy from any pony that is directing positive emotions toward them. Sympathy, kindness, friendship, happiness, love, anything like that opens you up a Changeling to various degrees. Most Changelings would suck you dry, but I’ve never been able to bring myself to that. I’ve only ever been able to stomach what is freely given to me.”
“Wait, so yer feeding on us right now?” Apple Bloom asked, feeling slightly betrayed.
Cabbage struggled to keep calm as she felt the mood in the room turning sour. Before she could say more than a few words of assurance, “Yes, but never-,” she was suddenly staggered by something that felt like a mental blow to her head, followed by a complete silence of the Changeling hive-mind buzz. Any new concerns the Crusaders had been feeling about Cabbage were washed away as they moved to keep her from falling to the ground, bombarding her with questions and emotions. “Thanks,” she said distractedly, regaining her balance.
“We weren’t hurting you with our feelings, were we?” Sweetie asked, prompting an odd look from Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.
“What? No,” Cabbage said, distractedly. Gently pushing Scootaloo out of her way, she started to walk toward the door of the boutique. She hesitated when she felt the buzz quietly start up again, but a moment later it stopped again for good. “Girls,” she said slowly, “I think… The Changeling invasion has been stopped.”
“Huh?” The Crusaders ran outside and looked in the direction of Canterlot. “Yeah, looks like that creepy shadow over Canterlot’s gone,” Scootaloo said. She and the other two looked at Cabbage with expressions she found difficult to decipher as she followed them out of the boutique. As best she could sense, they were feeling concern on her behalf, possibly worried she was going to take the news badly.
“Don’t worry,” she said, “I was exiled from the hive a long time ago, so I’m not going to waste any grief on them.”
“Ok,” Sweetie Bell said, “but, how did you even know what just happened all the way up in Canterlot?”
“I’m only guessing, really” Cabbage said, and then fell silent as she thought about how best to word the explanation the fillies were expecting. “It’s… it’s a Changeling thing,” she said at last, lamely, “can…can we just leave it at that, please?”
“Sure, let’s go do something else,” Apple Bloom said, going back over to Cabbage’s bundled costume and tossing it toward her. “Y’are still ok with hanging out with us, right?”
Cabbage smiled at her. “So long as we don’t talk about Changelings anymore or get into any trouble, I can keep up with you all day.” She balanced the costume on her back and added, “but let’s drop this off at the hotel before we do anything else.”
“Alright Cabbage, all ya hafta do is bounce the ball off your head twice, kick it with a back hoof, rebound off the tree, and then arc it over the branch.”
Cabbage looked down at the ball resting between her hooves and then up at Apple Bloom. “Can I just take a letter?” she asked.
“Nope,” Apple Bloom said, “ya gotta at least try. Ya never know, you might actually be able to do it.” Cabbage remained unconvinced, so Apple Bloom pressed on. “Look, I just did it, so you know it ain’t impossible, and you’ve got a knack for surprising everyone with what ya can do. Like when ya knocked a whole tree’s worth of apples down with one kick yesterday.”
“Or mimicking Rainbow Dash’s voice perfectly,” Scootaloo added, smiling encouragingly.
“That’s nothing surprising, for a Changeling” Cabbage muttered.
“Well, I didn’t know that at the time,” Scootaloo said, “and it was cool nonetheless.” She scooped the ball up off the ground and held it out to Cabbage. “Just give it a try, ok? It’s just a game, after all.”
“A… All right,” Cabbage acquiesced. She took the ball from Scootaloo and tossed it up into the air. “Off my head twice…” she muttered as the ball came down, and she executed the move smoothly, bouncing it slightly backward on the second hit. “Then kick at the tree…” She shifted her position slightly and raised a back hoof, watching the ball carefully. She kicked it and it flew toward the tree with a slight backspin, and then it ricocheted off the trunk and spun wildly off-course over some bushes. A second later, Cabbage and the Crusaders all winced at the sound of the ball hitting something accompanied by a shriek of surprise. Cabbage led the run toward the sound, but her quickly-readied apology died on her lips as she rounded the bush and saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Diamond’s trademark tiara was lying in the dirt and Spoon was holding the Crusader’s ball hostage under one hoof. The Crusaders crashed into Cabbage as they came around the bush, sending the four of them sprawling into the dirt at Diamond Tiara’s hooves.
“Hmph,” the conceited pink filly said with malicious satisfaction, “at least you plebes are in your proper place now.”
“Give it a rest, DT,” Apple Bloom muttered crossly as she and her friends picked themselves up. Diamond ignored her, having realized she didn’t recognize the Crusader’s new sea-green companion. Her eyes went quickly to Cabbage’s blank flank and then to Cabbage’s nervous eyes, and she smiled coldly.
Cabbage knew that smile meant bad news, and she spoke quickly to try and head it off. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you, I just lost control of the ball,” she babbled. She scooped the tiara off the ground, brushed the dirt off of it and held it out as a peace offering. “May we have our ball back, please?”
Diamond Tiara snatched her trademark accessory from Cabbage’s hoof and scrutinize it closely, and then glowered at the sea-green pony. “Your ‘accident’ scratched my special tiara,” she said, “so I don’t think that’s quite enough of an apology. Maybe if you begged for it, I might reconsider.”
“Don’t do it Cabbage,” Apple Bloom said as she went to get right up in Tiara’s face. “You sure got a lot of nerve, Diamond Tiara,” she said, “trying to bully Cabbage Patch when Ah’m standing right here. And that little crown of yours ain’t worth fussing over anyhow; I bet yer Daddy can buy you a replacement real easy.”
“My tiara was custom-made just for me!” Diamond Tiara shot back.
Cabbage backed away from the confrontation and took shelter between Scootaloo and Sweetie Bell. “Hey,” Scootaloo said, tapping Cabbage on the back with her wing, “don’t back down now. We’ve stood up to DT once before, remember?”
“I was hiding in a bush then,” Cabbage whispered back.
“Uuuugh,” Sweetie Bell sighed, looking the scene over with frustration. “Fine, I’ll handle this. Hey, Silver Spoon!” She advanced on the grey earth pony, who quickly looked to her friend and then gulped nervously when she saw that Diamond Tiara was too caught up in her argument with Apple Bloom to pay mind to anything else. Sweetie’s horn started to glow with magic, and a small magic cloud of matching hue formed around the ball under Spoon’s hoof. “Cabbage apologized,” Sweetie said, “so give us the ball back or I’ll tell everypony where you’re the most ticklish.” The magic cloud started creeping up Silver Spoon’s leg, and she broke before it got past her hoof.
“Fine, take your stupid ball then!” Silver Spoon said crossly, kicking it away over the Crusaders’ heads. Scootaloo ran after it and Cabbage followed, eager to get away from the bad feelings that were crashing like waves over everything. Sweetie rejoined the pair after they’d corralled the ball and suggested they all head for the Clubhouse.
“What about Apple Bloom?” Cabbage asked.
“She’ll catch up,” Scootaloo said, nonchalant. “She and Diamond Tiara are going to keep at it until one of them gives up on having the last word. They’ve been doing that a lot lately… So, Sweetie Bell, how d’ya know where Silver Spoon is ticklish?”
“I found out a couple years ago,” Sweetie answered, “the last time we let those two goad us into a hoof-fight.”
“Ah,” Scootaloo said. “So, where-”
“If I tell you,” Sweetie interrupted, “I can’t use it against her anymore.”
“Well, you… you could,” Cabbage said, “just, uh, not quite the same way.”
“Hm,” Sweetie said in a mostly non-committal way.
The trio arrived at the clubhouse, and several minutes later Apple Bloom came storming through the door, full of pent-up frustration. She dropped to the floor and rolled onto her back before letting the frustration out with an epic groan. “I cannot stand that Diamond Tiara!” she declared.
“Did she manage to out-insult you this time?” Scootaloo asked.
“No,” AB said, rolling her eyes, “it’s just… y’know. The usual.”
“Um, I don’t know,” Cabbage said.
“Bloom and Diamond’s families have a long history,” Sweetie Bell said.
“Oh,” Cabbage said. “I’m… sorry?”
“It’s not a bad history,” Apple Bloom explained. “Least it wasn’t. The Apples were the first ponies to settle in the Ponyville area and the town pretty much got started because we have the only tame Zap Apple crop in all of Equestria.”
“What’s a Zap Apple?” Cabbage asked. She flinched back when the CMC all stared at her in shock.
“You’ve never had Zap Apple jam?” Scootaloo asked. Cabbage shook her head. “Oh, you’re missing out,” Scootaloo said. “There’s nothing in all of Equestria like Zap Apple Jam. When’s the next season, Apple Bloom?”
“I dunno,” Bloom said, rolling onto her stomach. “It’s usually late summer or early fall, but we can’t even start to prepare for it until the timber wolves start coming out of the woods and howling. Anyway, Cabbage, Diamond Tiara’s family, the Riches, own a chain of stores that was built on selling Zap Apple jam and other Apple Family produce outside of Ponyville. Her dad’s as good a pony as his ancestors were, but Diamond’s a bad seed and Ah just know that one day the two of us’ll have to be doing business together, and she hasn’t changed a wit since she got her cutie mark.” She rolled back onto her back and moaned in frustration.
“I shouldn’t have asked,” Cabbage muttered, drooping in shame.
“No, it’s ok Cabbage,” Apple Bloom exclaimed, rolling back onto her hooves and going over to lift Cabbage’s head up. “Honestly, talking about it helps me a lot. I feel better now, believe me.”
“I know,” Cabbage said, who could clearly feel that the earth pony’s frustration was much weaker than it had been just a minute before.
“Oh right,” Apple Bloom said, slightly embarrassed now, “you’re a Changeling; y’all can sense that sort of thing.”
“Yeah,” Cabbage said lamely. She looked out the window at the angle of the sun and then said, “I should probably get going soon; I need to find out what Trixie has planned for the next few days.”
“You’re not leaving already, are you?” Sweetie Bell asked.
“Probably not,” Cabbage said, “but the new stage wagon will probably be finished in the next day or two, and we’ll be putting one more shows in the meantime.”
“Well, meet us here after school tomorrow and tell us what’s goin’ on,” Apple Bloom said. “It wouldn’t be right if we couldn’t give ya a proper send-off when ya do leave.”