Hard work and apples. These are the things ah hold in the highest of regards. Ya can’t have apples without breakin’ a sweat. The same goes for life. So, ah live how ah work and that’s done me fine enough…at least until that gal Twilight Sparkle showed up.
Whoo-wee, life’s been a roller coaster ride since that fateful day. Ah’ve laughed, Ah’ve cried, Ah’ve bucked shapeshiftin’, emotion eaters.
Never thought that’d happen.
Anyways, ah’ve lived an interestin’ year to say the least and ah couldn’t be happier. Yeah ah’ve faced more than my share of villains, monsters, and the dreaded CMC, but ah’m still alive and kicking. That’s got to mean somethin’.
Goin’ on and on about this just makes me realize how much my life has changed, but not applebucking. Applebucking never changes and it doesn’t take a genius to figure it out. Ya just kick ‘em hard and ya get the fruits of your labor. Easy peasy.
That’s what ah was doing this fine, sunny day and ah loved every moment of it.
“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS APPLE CATCHER YAY!”
….Can ah take back the ‘lovin’ this moment’ comment?...No?...Taint fair.
Now it ain’t like ah dislike mah sister, far from it. Ah love her with all my heart, and ya’d be a darned fool not to see it. Ah just hate the way she’s goin’ about getting her cutie mark. Ah’ve had to replace more equipment, materials, and take more baths then ah’ve ever had to in the last year alone.
How they keep gettin’ covered in tree sap is beyond me. Cuttin’ pony’s manes doesn’t even involve the stuff.
Ah could try and stop my sis, but she needs ta learn on her own what a cutie mark is really about. That and it’s nice to see her play with her friends. For a long while, all she had was that Twist gal…Come to think about it, ah haven’t seen her in a while. Maybe they had a fallin’ out of sorts.
Anyways, back to the CMC. They were helpin’ me by carryin’ small buckets on their backs to catch apples. They were doin’ a pretty good job if ya ask me.
Givin’ another tree a stern buck, Apple Bloom dove in and caught ‘em in the nick of time. “Good job, lil sis.”
“Ah learned it from the best, big sis,” Apple Bloom answered, givin’ me an earnest smile.
Now it does my heart good to know that she still looks up ta me after that whole debacle in the fire swamp. Ah can’t help but feel mighty foolish about how ah acted back then, what with me smotherin’ her like that. It’s just…ah love her so much. Ah can’t imagine anythin’ bad happenin’ to her.‘Ah’m really lucky ta have a sister like her. Gosh, ah would’ve been furious with Mac if he…nah, ah’d still love that ol’ lug. Family make mistakes now and again and I ain’t goin’ to make the same mistake twice.’
Ah nuzzled her lil’ head. “Love ya, Apple Bloom.”
“Love ya too, Applejack.”
Family…The world isn’t anythin’ without ‘em.
“Can we stop all this mushy stuff?” Scootaloo asked. “I think I’m going to be sick.”
Me and my sister rolled our eyes. ‘She really is a second Rainbow.’ “Now don’t get all huffy,” ah told her. “Ah’m sure you wouldn’t be so sick if Rainbow was nuzzlin’ ya.”
Scootaloo blushed in embarrassment and looked away. “Not true.”
Ah just chuckled. “Sure ya are.” Ah wiped the sweat from mah brow. “Ah think we’re done for the day. Why don’t ya three come and grab some grub. Granny’s bakin’ some sweet apple pies.”
“Sounds good to me,” Sweetie Belle said. The little filly was out of breath. She kind of reminded me of Winona on a hot day. Hopefully, Rarity won’t mind findin’ her all sweaty after a good hard days’ work. ‘Probably will.’
________________________________________________________________________________
It didn’t take us long to get back to the house. Thankfully, and ah do mean thankfully, the CMC had worn themselves out enough that they were as quiet as sheep asleep by the creek…
That’s one of Granny’s sayin’s. Ah’m rather fond of it.
After knockin’ on the door, my big brother opens it up wide. Ah can already tell by the annoyed look on his face what was up.
Big Mac was never one for talkin’. Especially after….Nope! Not thinkin’ about that.
And since he wasn’t a talker, ah had to learn to read his body language and guess what he was a thinkin’. Over the years, ah’ve gotten so good at it that ah think ah know him better than he does himself. Might be wrong though. He is a really deep fella. Wish more mares could see that, instead of just checkin’ out his backside.
One scoldin’ glare fixes their gaze right quick.
“Granny Smith?” Ah said.
“Eyup.”
“Old stories?”
“Eyup.”
“Tryin’ to talk your ear off?”
“Eyup.”
Ah sighed. “Well tell her that Apple Bloom’s friends are staying for dinner.”
“Eyup,” he said, before we walked to the kitchen.
Good ol’ Granny had just placed the fresh apple pie on top of the table. Boy howdy, if joy had a smell, this would’ve been it. It’s no secret that the apples made the best darn apple products in the world. Ah don’t mean to brag about it, but it’s true. Just seein’ the pie made my stomach growl.
“Granny,” Big Mac spoke up. “We’ve got guests.”
“Guests, you say?” Granny Smith looked up at ‘em, her old eyes fell on the CMC. Smilin’, she gestured to the table. “Well sit on down. Ain’t nothin’ better ta feed a hungry pony than a fresh, apple pie.”
You’ve got that right, Granny.
It didn’t take us long ta divide the pie between us and ah’m glad about that. Ah haven’t eaten since yesterday’s lunch. Seems ah need to teach myself not to overwork…again. ‘Well, no matter. Ah’m goin’ ta enjoy this.’ Ah couldn’t help but lick my lips like a wolf sizin’ up its prey, as ah stared at the piece of pie in front of me.
Course, life has a funny way of interruptin’ things. This ‘interruption’ took the form of our town’s own mailmare: Ditzy Doo.
The mare smashed right through our door like it was nothin’ and smacked right into the wall behind me. The impact sound made me cringe. Ah was surprised she just cracked the wall when she hit it, instead of bustin’ right through. She was pretty much the town's wrecking ball, causin' more damage then any other beast that showed its ugly hide in town. ‘It’s almost like she’s made of iron.’ 'Course, she was still a good mare and without a doubt, a great mother.
As she slid to the floor, ah immediately got up and went to her side. “Ya okay, Ditzy?”
Ditzy, with speed and agility that made me think she’s Pinkie’s cousin or somethin’, got back to her hooves and smiled at her. “Of course I am.” The mare was always bubbly. Ah think ah ah can count on my hooves the times ah’ve seen her frown. She picked up her hat, dusted it off, and put it back on her head to complete her mailpony get-up. “Sorry about the door.” She blushed in embarrassment.
Ah just snorted in amusement. “Happens.”
Ah swear, that gall could survive bein’ crushed by a dragon. No other pony has taken the beatin’ this girl goes through and shrug it off like it’s nothin’….Maybe I should ask her how she does it one day. Might come in hoofy during a scuffle.
“So, what brought ya…”
She cut me off, after she quickly dug into her mail-bag and handed me a light yellow letter. “You’ve got mail.”
“Thanks,” ah took it and gave her a nod of gratitude.
“You’re welcome.” Ditzy said, before trottin’ happily out the destroyed door.
Ah couldn’t help but shake my head and chuckled. ‘Never change, Ditzy. Never change.’
“Who’s the letter from, big sis?” Apple Bloom asked.
Giving the letter a once over, ah couldn’t find anything except an address to our house. Ah couldn’t help but shrug. “Don’t rightly know, but there’s only one way to find out.” Grippin’ the edge of the letter in my teeth, ah ripped it open.
Ah wish ah hadn’t, for the next thing ah know there’s a white flash that made me and my family cover their eyes. And then, ah heard a voice ah wished ah didn't have to hear no more.
“Hola, my dear Applejack, Discord’s back!” The spirit shouted.
Ah lowered my hoof from my and glared at him. He was wearin’ a sombrero and a poncho, while holdin’ a trumpet. A pony mariachi band was behind him, playing music ah’d hear down in Mexicolt. Discord started playin', dancin' around her and my family.
“Discord, what the hay are you doin’ here?” Ah couldn’t help but ask him, raisin’ my voice.
“Oh don’t be like that, my dear Applejack,” Discord stopped beside me. “Turn that frown, upside down.”
“Ah’ll turn yer head upside down if ya don’t skedaddle.” If there was one bein’ on this planet ah couldn’t deal with, it’s Discord. That selfish varmint was a nuisance whether he was good or bad. The farther he was away, the happier ah am. Ah still hadn’t forgiven him for making me sick.
“Ah, but how can I leave now? I’ve been out soul searching and I’ve realized something’s missing.”
“Your mind?”
Discord tilted his head back and gave out an uproarious laugh. “Oh my dear Applejack, you know how to make me smile.”
‘Ah’d rather know how to make ya shut up.’
“Anyways, while I was pondering I visited our good friend Cadance. She made me realize something.”
“What?” Ah couldn’t help but start to sweat. Discord realizing somethin’ isn’t a good thing.
He spread his arms out wide, with an overly happy expression on his face. “I’m in love!”
“Well that’s nice,” Granny Smith spoke up. “But that don’t give ya any right ta barge in here durin’ supper. Now scram, youngin’, or ah’ll smack ya upside the head with my cane.”
Discord pouted. “Why, how rude of you, Granny. I thought we were friends. If I recall, I gave you those excellent dance moves. I’ve never seen any better.”
Granny Smith scowled. “Don’t make me come over there.”
Discord nervously put his hands up in surrender. “Shutting up. I’m shutting up.”
“And stop that racket,” Granny put her hooves over her ears.
Sighin', Discord snapped his fingers and the band, and his costume, disappeared. Ah’d have been lyin’ if ah said ah hated the music. Might have been pleasant, if not fer the company. “I concede to you, oh mighty Granny Smith.” He bowed deeply. “Though I do question your taste in music.”
Rollin’ my eyes, ah spoke up again. “Discord, while ah am happy for ya findin’ love, why’d ya come over?”
“Because of you, my dear Applejack,” was his response. He poked me in the muzzle with one his fingers.
My mind went blank. “Why?”
“Because I wish to court you.”
Those words…Those words pretty much changed everythin’.
“WHAT!?” Us mares of the Apple family shouted.
“Nope.” My big brother just shook his head.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
*back in the Crystal Empire, with Princess Cadance*
If there is one place I love as much as the battlefield, it’s the spa. It’s a place to sit back and unwind after a hard day’s rule and get away from the stuck up nobles that visited me time after time. ‘I can’t believe that some of them are still trying to court me. I’m a married mare, for crying out loud.’
I was currently undergoing my daily massage as I lay on my stomach on a sterile platform. A crystal pony, a light yellow mare with a two tone mane of pink and greenish blue, worked my back. Her name was Honeycomb and let me tell you this. She has magic hooves and they were doing wonders on my back. I couldn’t but let out little ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’ as she took all my pain and cramps away. ‘She deserves a raise.’
“You seem to have a few more knots than usual, Your Majesty.” My masseur spoke up. She was a young mare, kind mare. I made a mental note to try and find her soul mate soon. She deserved to be her happiest.
I nodded. “Discord came by this morning. He came by asking about what is love and I’ve been nervous ever since.”
“I see. I hear he’s quite the troublemaker.”
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. “You don’t even know the half of it...I just can’t help but think he’s doing something now, plotting some ‘love’ related prank.” I ground my teeth harshly against one another.
“Your Majesty, calm down. You’re tensing up.”
Sighing, I did as she asked. “I’m sorry. It’s just that love is something you can’t take advantage of and Discord…He’s Discord.” The way I said it made it seem like that alone explained everything…Which it pretty much does. Love is serious business and Discord’s the least serious being I know.
“Well, don’t you worry. If he steps out of line, I’m sure you can knock some sense back into him.”
I smirked. “You’re right.” I actually liked that idea. He may have been the god of chaos, but I was trained in every single possible fighting and magic technique known to ponykind. I could knock some sense into him the old fashion way.
But just as I was starting to relax and let Discord drift out of my thoughts, I felt something. It was some kind of wavelength that just screamed at me. I quickly stood up, knocking my masseur back. “I’m sorry.” I quickly went over and helped her up.
“Don’t worry, Your Majesty. I’m fine.” She brushed herself off. “What was that all about?”
“I felt…I felt a disturbance. As if several ponies cried out in distress and then suddenly went silent.”
“Could it be Discord’s work?”
I nodded. “Oh most definitely and seeing as I felt it…He’s going to have to answer to me.” I narrowed my eyes. ‘Discord, if you break someone’s heart, I’ll break your spine.’ I turned around and started off. “I best be off.”
“But what about the rest of your appointment,” Honeycomb spoke up. “I didn’t even get a change to finish your message.”
Stopping in my tracks, I realized that she was right. There were still a few rough spots and kinks that were giving me trouble. ‘No,’ I told myself. ‘I’m going to set Discord straight now, before this gets out of hoof.’
“And your wings do look like they a good preen.”
Sighing, I went back over and laid down before her. She had a point there as well. It wasn’t exactly safe to fly with un-preened wings. It just leads to a whole slew of complications that could put your life in danger. “You have a point, Honeycomb.” I make it my business to know each and every one of my ponies names. I’m just thankful us Alicorns have such great memory.
As Honeycomb got to work, I used that time to think about all the ways I would break Discord. ‘Let’s see. A crowbar could work wonders. I mean, if that stallion I knew in Black Mesa could make it work, so can I.’