The sunlight's presence in Applebloom's room shone across the bed and against the far wall opposite of the window. Scootaloo allowed herself to take in all of the senses before opening her eyes. She noted the grip of hooves around her stomach and neck, along with two sets of lungs breathing in and pushing out small puffs of air. They were nearly silent, but the tone of each exhale were from her friends.
Breaking the crust of one eye open, Sweetie Bell and Applebloom were both in a close embrace around their returned friend. Their hearts thumped along side hers, explaining the heat radiating through the blankets. As the other eye opened, she looked up at the ceiling, refusing to allow any thought to enter her mind to break the silence. The task itself was easy, she had already spent the last five days thinking, but now as she concentrated on a single groove in the ceiling, everything was blank. Scootaloo was grateful for the silence, it was something she missed dearly since the raging storm of emotions and thoughts prevented her from finding peace. Anger and bitterness was still there standing off to one side of her minds like misplaced opinions, but the security of being close to her friends, loved, wanted, missed, and rested dampened those feelings until she felt like there wasn't any reason to bring them up. Doubt, however, reminded her that the moment she stepped out that door, they were going to talk about what happened. She rolled her eyes, cursing doubt and allowed it to drift away.
"I couldn't care less." she thought, allowing the calm state of mind to return. Scootaloo tried wrapping her friends closer, ignoring the heat and feeling her mind wake up.
"This is one of those moments that I want to last a long time."
Closing her eyes, her mind felt drifted to the edges of the room and beyond the door, listening to the ticking of a clock somewhere within the house, and to the voices downstairs. Yawning, the soreness she felt throughout her body was mildly comforting, like sitting down after a long run. It wasn't until she finally wanted to know what the voices downstairs were talking about did she finally considered herself awake. By then, the sunlight crept across the floor and over the bed.
Bringing her hooves on top of the covers, her two friends stirred but remained asleep. Exhaling, she nudged each of them gently, spending minutes to carefully awaken Applebloom and Sweetie Bell without too much disturbance. They both woke up to the sight of their friend hugging them with a silencing embrace as they shared in the moments of a long awaited reunion. Sweetie Bell was the first to attempt at making a noise, but the words caught in her throat as they sat upright. When they broke apart, they were still holding each others hooves.
"I missed you."
"And we missed you." Sweetie Bell said.
"I'm to looking forward to the next few hours."
"Why not?" Applebloom asked,
"I...I don't know. I just don't want to hear what they fell like they need to say."
"Ya know you should, it's really important to get this off yer chest and out there."
"I know, it's just that...I don't want to hear it. I want it to be quiet, like it is right now."
"Well, it wont last forever." Sweetie Bell advised
Scootaloo looked down at the bed, with both of her closest friends wearing her down with the best advice, it was hard for her wall of emotions to stay upright.
"Where were you last night?" she innocently asked.
They both beamed at the question, Applebloom jumping in before Sweetie Bell could talk.
"We spent all of yesterday lookin for you! Applejack rallied everyone, Fluttershy had a fleet of birds and forest animals out looking for you, but you kept on moving! Pinkie was running around, tying trail markers to trees and everything in case you saw any of 'em while Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity were helping to search for you too! It musta been after sundown when Twilight cast a spell and saw that you were on the road to Ponyville. That's when we high tailed it outta the forest and tried catching up with you! We didn't get back until way early this morning."
Sweetie Bell saw her chance to finally get a word in edgewise and took it.
"We went straight from the forest to your house, hoping that you would be there, but... then it went crazy for about an hour. We all thought that maybe you went to somepony else's house, so there was a lot of running around. Everyone ran back to their homes, and then Applejack-" "And me came up and saw Big Mac waitin' on the steps outside in the middle of the night, and we knew you were here!" Applebloom cut in, offering a first hand account. "Applejack ran up stairs, peeked in, ran back to town, told everyone, and then they all came back here."
"So everyone came to check on me?"
"Yep!" Applebloom said, throwing her hooves around Scootaloo for another hug, Sweetie Bell joined in, trying to rival Applebloom in the display of affection by hugging all of them tighter.
Scootaloo relaxed in her friends embrace, something that she hadn't been able to do until now.Throwing off the sheet and blankets completely, she crawled out of bed.
"So do you think they're downstairs?"
"Maybe, we won't know until we get down there and find out." Sweetie Bell said, following Scootaloo towards the door.
Pulling the door open, Scootaloo took the first few steps down the hallway, listening for voices coming from downstairs. A pony's hooves could be heard coming up the stairs, the wood creaking with each step,
"Scootaloo?" Applejack's face appeared around the corner, she instinctively flinched at the sound of her name being called. Applejack smiled, but noticed her reaction. Coming to her side and holding her at arms length, she dropped her head to be eye level with the orange pegasus.
"I'm glad so glad your safe."
Scootaloo's mind raced at how to take in Applejack's words.
"Thank you for looking for me."
"Oh, don't worry about it sugar cube, we were plum worried about what happened to ya. Listen, how about ya go get showered up, and we'll talk after you've had some food, huh? Granny and me are pullin' out all the stops today."
"Mm-hm." Scootaloo said, nodding. Mentally she was derailed, her mind already downstairs and facing whatever was suppose to come, but now with Applejack's offer, Scootaloo had to reel her thoughts back in and focus on herself. It was only when pausing for a moment to look in the bathroom mirror did she realize how dirty she was. Her reflection looked disgusted, and her worn expression was resentful. Pulling herself away, the promise of a shower taking away that facet of her life made her eager for warm flowing water.
Twenty short minutes was nowhere near long enough to wash away five days of conflicting emotions and physical strain. Scootaloo would've stayed in for hours if the water hadn't started to turn cold. She toweled off and wiped away droplets from the mirror, this time she was able to withstand what the reflection offered and be happy about it.
A chill ran down her spine and through her wing tips as she cantered downstairs, there were more voices than she had hoped to face this afternoon. Flitting her wings, she barely made a sound coming down the steps to the ground floor, it was only when the words "Here she comes," did Scootaloo freeze. Her wings were half way up and they refused to move an inch, to her right the front door was only steps away, while to her left was the kitchen where filled stools and chairs would be waiting or her to make an appearance. She caught her hoof an inch off the floor, trying to take a step towards the door, then forcing herself to walk towards the scent of food and sounds of voices.
A pang of hunger overrode fear and anxiety, Scootaloo ambled into the kitchen where the sight of nine cramped ponies cheerfully greeted her. She scanned each of their faces, making a mental note that Rainbow Dash was not one of them.
"Scootaloo!" They all said, Pinkie Pie was the first to jump up and give her a bone crushing bear hug.
"Pinkie! Let the girl eat first!" Applejack balked,
"But I'm so happy to see her! It's been four days, eighteen hours, thirty two minutes since I last saw her! She needs a Pinkie Hug!" the pink mare quietly added "trademark." as she let Scootaloo escape her grasp.
A chair was already pulled out with a loaded plate of food and water waiting for her, it was then when she felt the weight of the situation around her. Everything hung on her every word, expression, and reaction, even the way she said the words would make this into a terrible morning. She briefly scanned everypony's faces again as she took a seat, they were trying to make her happy.
I don't want to upset them any more than they don't want to upset me. What do I say? I haven't said a single word! Do I just stay silent and let the adults talk? Do I pour my heart out onto them... Scootaloo focused on taking the first mouthful of food, shuddering as the thought of opening up again pained her.
No, I need to say this, yank this band-aid off and get right to the source.
"I was sad."
She silenced the whole room, but quickly spoke after she saw words forming on everypony's lips. "Angry, lonely, bitter, resentful, jealous, scared, but after a while, it all just sorta got jumbled together and I couldn't focus on anything. One moment I was happy because I saw a bush of huckleberries, the next I just want to scream because I didn't know how to fly and was taking it out on myself and Rainbow Dash. When I was waiting for the storm to pass, I couldn't understand anything, nothing made sense, even the reason as to why I was out there lost meaning after three days."
Scootaloo took another few bites of food, forming the next few thoughts in her mind. "I felt that the only reason I cried was because I had been strong for too long and couldn't do that anymore."
Big Mac, who was leaning against the kitchen counter nearly dropped his plate at the filly's meaningful words, Applejack, Granny Smith, Fluttershy, Twilight, and Rarity stared at Scootaloo in shock while Sweetie Bell, Pinkie Pie, and Applebloom looked at their friend in worry.
Applejack was the first to recover, looking to everyone for reassurance before talking. "Scootaloo, what you did wasn't too far off from what we've done when we fell like we've been put through the wringer. We all get down, we all get sad, we all over think things that jus' seem to not make a lick of sense until we finally get back around ponies who care about ya. But, what happened to you, that was too much. You didn't deserve to be out there that long, it's not good for a pony. Usually when a pony gets down, they're with good company and it passes in about a day or so. You, Ah am so sorry that ya had to face that kind of depression alone."
Scootaloo could feel tears working their way from her ducts to the edge of her eyes, but something about Applejack's response phased her, This isn't what I thought would happen. Her heart beat slightly faster as she tried to control it by inhaling deeply. Applebloom and Sweetie Bell moved closer, standing right by her side as they saw her eyes glisten with what would soon to be flowing tears.
"Scootaloo," Rarity said, "You've always been right there next to my sister and Applebloom, depending on each other as you formulated plans to find your cutie marks. Even before this-" Rarity bit her cheek trying not to say the word "fiasco" and carried on without the sentence enhancer. "-You've handled situations where things may have not turned out all right, but we truly still love all three of you in the end. Going as far as you did into the wilderness, and returning with only a few bumps and scrapes on the outside makes us worry all the more for what bumps and scrapes you've had to deal with on the inside."
Rarity forced herself again to not over explain things, her natural elegance for carrying a conversation would've added on minutes more of what could've turned into a counterproductive apology.
Fluttershy found her opportunity to speak, it came as soft as a whisper at first, but due to the silent nature of the room, it was easily heard. "While we were out searching for you, my animal friends discovered that you crashed, and were talking to yourself. Oh, I'm so sorry, they didn't mean to eavesdrop, but you were quite frustrated and one of them tried to make sure you were all right."
"I actually hated the thought of any of you finding me." Scootaloo said to a few worried faces. "...Hated the thought of you finding me out there desperate for a way out, a way home. For you to find me sad, crying, in a wreck, in pieces, angry at the world. I didn't want you to find me because I was sad, but because I thought that all of this would've been different. I thought that if you found me, everyone was going to treat me like a filly for disappearing and talk down to me because I would've had to be grateful towards you...and I didn't want to drag myself through that... I was being selfish. That was one of things that made me want to scream while I was out there."
Feeling the obligation, Twilight spoke next. “You had every right to feel what you did while you were out there. It’s not always the easiest thing to admit, but you can’t blame yourself for what went on inside your mind. I too have fought selfishness and anger, denial and paranoia at times, but any bad experience can be dealt with your friends.”
Sweetie Bell and Applebloom took it as a verbal queue to lean in closer to give Scootaloo a hug. Her shoulders relaxed as she wrapped her forelegs around them as well and failed to hold off the welling tear drops.
“This was a hard life lesson to learn, and the way you did it was probably the most difficult path anypony could’ve ever taken. I know it may sound patronizing and a hard message to swallow, but we want you to forget the sorrow and allow yourself to fall back into being a filly again.” Twilight said empathetically, nearly begging for Scootaloo to not take the last five days to heart.
Scootaloo nodded, feeling slightly relieved, but she felt that this experience wouldn’t be so easy to forget.
"We want you to be happy!" Pinkie Pie said, easily wearing a smile, "Because, we don't want you to go the next few years being all bitter and junk! It's not good to think that reality is much harsher than it really is, when you're young! Besides, being a carefree filly is great, I remember loads of stuff that even though it kinda made me sad. I always tried looking towards things that made me laugh and be happy!"
“Now Sugar, there’s one pony here who really wants to say somethin’ to ya. She’s sittin’ right outside that door.” Applejack said, pointing to the kitchen screen door that was propped open with a rock. Scootaloo peered out, seeing Rainbow Dash’s namesake mane and cyan fur with her back to them. Scootaloo saw the bandages around her left wing, along with the small tuft of cloud she was leaning on. It was absolutely still in the late morning sunlight, the air, Rainbow’s hair, the trees, Scootaloo. The only thing that wasn’t still were each pony biting their lips in anticipation of Scootaloo’s response, and Scootaloo’s racing heart.
“It’s yer decision if you want to hear what she wants ta say.”
Scootaloo swallowed, her mind dredging up everything she wanted to let go of. Pressure built up in her head again as half her mind thought of ways to get back at Rainbow, while the other tried desperately to find a solution and relieve the pressure.
“I want her to hear what I have to say first, but don’t turn around.” Scootaloo said, the Pegasus sat upright, but kept her head pointed out towards the orchards and barn.
“While I was out there, I learned I don’t like to hate. It makes my head hurt, makes me sad, it makes me angry, I get frustrated at myself and everything around me!” Scootaloo said, her voice changing to match the tone of each emotion.
“But I hated the fact that every time you whizzed by overhead, you saw me, and didn’t come down!” Scootaloo pleaded, “I’ve dealt with the promises of ‘Next time’ and having my hopes built up and torn down by your schedule. That’s one thing I’ve learned from you, make others work around your schedule.”
Rainbow Dash flinched at the harsh comment, “What else have I learned from you- there’s only so much a single pony can do in one day without being stretched too thin.”
“Then…” Scootaloo’s voice trembled, “Fend for yourself if you’re not friends with the amazing Rainbow Dash.”
The blow made Rainbow wince as Scootaloo stood up from her chair, directing her voice straight towards the screen door.
“Ego doesn’t make you a better friend… Neither does how well you can perform a certain skill.” She spat, Scootaloo walked past the eighteen gazing eyes to the door.
“I’ve been at your beck and call since the day I first met you, trying to impress you. Your gratitude was only shown by a few “good job’s” and tried to do what every pony has told me over and over again; actions speak louder than words. The only action I’ve seen is the one where you fly off and let me see the underside of your wings.”
Rainbow Dash clenched her eyes shut, shaking in fear of a filly who brandished the truth.
“…And finally!” she yelled, using one hoof to push the door open. Rainbow jerked forward, biting her lip to stop from crying. Applejack was hesitant to interrupt Scootaloo’s rant, knowing if she didn’t say what was on her mind now, it would only build up. Everypony shared similar looks of concern.
Scootaloo’s voice was unimpeded by the strain of the spring trying to keep the door shut. Standing directly behind Rainbow Dash, everypony waited for Scootaloo to let Rainbow know of her last digression against the orange Pegasus.
“I learned that when you don't act like any of those things… you’re my hero.”
Rainbow twisted her head to look over her left shoulder, eyes still afraid to open and look down at Scootaloo.
The orange Pegasus reached out, wrapping her hooves around Rainbow Dash’s stomach, nestling between her wings and admitting to her mentor, “I’m sorry.”
Rainbow could feel the tears rolling down Scootaloo’s face and into her backside, chills ran down her spine with every drop that touched her fur.
“I’m selfish,” Scootaloo said, keeping a firm grip.
“No… no you’re not. You could never be selfish.” Rainbow said, reaching around with her right hoof to grab Scootaloo’s left shoulder.
“Yes I am. I’m selfish because, I didn’t want you to see me cry.”
Everypony inside gathered at the doorframe, watching as Rainbow Dash turned around completely to hug Scootaloo.
“Ow-that… hurt.” Rainbow thought, taking Scootaloo up in her forelegs and holding her close, they sat there as the both drained themselves of tears onto each other and the ground.
It was after three long minutes of silence that a sniffle finally broke the two of them apart. Rainbow turned her head away from the rest of them so only Scootaloo could see her mouth the words “Thank you.”
“Little missy, you went and did the hardest thing anypony could ever do. I don’t think I coulda done that without goin' a few months without even lookin' at somepony who did that to me, let alone forgive 'em. You not only did the right thing, you did what most ponies couldn't.” Applejack said, wiping her own eyes. Scootaloo nodded, unable to act out in any other way aside from looking back at her friends and smiling with wet streaks leading down her face.
Finally back on four legs and free from Rainbow’s embrace, Scootaloo extended a hoof to Rainbow. She exchanged the favor by extending her good wing over Scootaloo, wrapping her in tighter so the two of them could be closer together as they walked back inside.