//------------------------------// // Luna 2 // Story: A Mile In Her Regalia // by Foals Errand //------------------------------// I watch as Tia groans and pushes herself up from being plastered to the ceiling. Er, well, as much as I can watch that is. My sister’s body is far bigger than mine and being slammed into the ceiling, as I was made to, made me lose what precarious control I had learned. In simple terms I was a tangle of legs. It was rather embarrassing and uncomfortable. "You alright Luna?" “We take back any kind things we have ever said. We despise that draconequus.” I grumble, still trying to right myself. I want my own body back and I want it back now! "You do realize he's the only draconequus you've met, right?" Tia asks me as she rights herself. Even standing upside down she was able to perform better than me. “We still despise him and wish to be off the ceilin- Woah!” Discord’s stupid spell has come undone very suddenly and I receive my wish. Though I wish it did not include my muzzle slamming into the carpet of Tia’s room. "Whaaa!" Tia squeaks out right before she joins me on the carpet also landing on her muzzle. Discord was a dead… whatever he was, when I was back in my rightful body! What I did to Tia as Nightmare Moon would be nothing! "I hate him too, Sister." I hear Tia groan and shaking away the lightheadedness I have been gaining from ignoring gravity; I get to my hooves and glance over at the crystal. “It seems that it is one a.m., our court is about to end. We fear that you must take our place and we must take yours until the time that we discover this method of turning back.” "Yes, I understand. Though; if this is the case, I suppose you should practice your modern Equestrian." Ah yes, modern Equestrian. You get a timeout on the moon for one thousand years and everypony expects you to now speak with them like they are your friends. Frankly, I just don’t understand the purpose of speaking to our subjects like I would speak to Tia, or Twilight. Oh well, Big Sister knows best doesn’t she? "And since we're on the subject; Sister, would you mind telling me how Night Court has been going?" I knew it! I just knew she was going to mention that damnable night court! I have been back almost two years now! Two years! And still if I get one pony a week I am lucky! I am, however, getting very good at this game called Poker. And if any mortal thought they could defeat me in chess they were sadly mistaken. Still, I had to give Tia an answer. Why am I so nervous around my big sister anyways? I sometimes don’t even understand myself. I find myself pawing at the carpet floor while I considered what to say. “We have not received a petitioner in over a month. The ponies still fear us and our night. They would rather stand in a long line to see you than wait no time to see us.” I watch as Celestia’s right eye twitches. Yeah, that was definitely not the right thing to say when her nerves were already on edge. This was not going to be pleasant for me. Remember Protocol Luna; just agree with Tia when shes pissed off. Arguing only ever makes it worse. Hold your own temper. Remember you are the night, you are cool, you are collected. Oh harmony, she is ticked. "That is no excuse to abandon your duties to your kingdom. You know as well as I do how important some of those ponies are. Just because you would rather be napping, or playing your video games, that doesn't give you the right to simply shirk off all of your responsibilities." “So we are to sit in the empty throne room for three hours a night just in case a pony doth come?” Seriously? You had to say that? Really!? Mouth, we just agreed to agree with Tia and not to challenge her! No challenging a ticked off Tia! "Yes!” I feel my ears fall back against my head at my own voice which was very ticked and loud. Mind you not to my royal canterlot voice but still. "Yes! Now I don't care what you do there, but as long as you're there, then I have no quarrels with you! Relax, meditate, anything! Just as long as you're there. If you're doing that, then you are doing your job." Celestia just stands there in front of me breathing deeply, and I honestly am feeling bad. How much has Tia gone though to try to get the ponies to accept me since I’ve come home? And how do I repay her? By shirking my duties. I am ashamed at myself, I am not behaving as a Princess should. Maybe I could do more to entice the ponies to come to night court. There are so many possibilities for me to consider later. “Very well, we are sorry Tia. We did not understand how important this is to you.” I put my currently white cheek to Tia’s dark blue one and nuzzle her. I feel her nuzzle back and I feel a weight lift from me. Angry or not Celestia still cares for me. “Now something about our speech?” "Um, oh! Yes!" Tia pulls away from my nuzzle with a slight frown having been enjoying it as I had, but now she was back on track I hope. "Well, for starters, dear sister, you always use the traditional 'we' rather than using 'I'. Now, I understand this will be difficult to get used to, but if we're trying to keep our predicament under wraps, then you need to learn modern speech patterns, and fast. If you'd like, I could call Twilight up to Canterlot to help you. The train should only take a couple of hours or so." Tell Twilight? Well, she would find out eventually. Either from my not showing up to star gaze with her or from Tia not answering one of her letters promptly. Telling her now would reduce that embarrassment and her psychosis…Probably. “You mean that we should tell her? Also, why would she not fly? Tis far faster than going by train.” "Well, between you and me, I don't think her lessons with Rainbow Dash are going as well as they'd hoped. And yes, I believe that her knowing would be beneficial to our predicament. If we don't figure this out soon, I'd rather not spend every day pretending to be you. If she knew, then, being a Princess of Equestria, she could fill in for us while we search for the solution." I mull over what Tia says. Her reasons are sound after all. While Rainbow Dash is a fantastic flyer. Her... teaching abilities most likely leave much to be desired. Also pegasus and alicorn wings have slight differences. It really should be myself or Tia teaching her. Well, maybe while she’s here helping me I can repay her lessons with my own. “We agree Tia, we still believe she can fly faster then the train though.” “It's only to be on the safe side, Luna. I'd rather not have to order a clean up crew to scrape my former student off the side of the mountain." This image does not leave a nice impression on my mind. Although, I do wonder if slamming into a mountain could kill Twilight. I am curious... but not curious enough to try it. Not yet at least. “Then we will send one of our own chariots to retrieve her, er that is, you as us will do this.” Tia’s eye begins to twitch again as I try to tell her to order one of my chariots to get Twilight. "Yeah, sure. Whatever you said." I stop for a moment. I can do this, I tell myself. I mean how difficult could modern Equestrian be anyways? “We- no I said that you need to order a few of my guards to pick up Twilight Sparkle. Did we say that correctly, Tia?” Tia’s eye stops twitching and she smiles that serene smile which she is so famous for. Mind you, upon my face it looks slightly disturbing. but not too bad. Hmmm I should really smile more without the lightning and thunder. Must wean myself off of that. "Yes. Thank you for clarifying, Luna." Tia heads towards the door while I climb back into her bed. If I am going to have to be her all day and deal with harmony knows what, then I need sleep. Lots of sleep.  "Oh, and Luna? Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Do you understand?" “Yes, Tia, we understand.” I let my head flop onto Tia’s white pillow, yanking the gold silk covers over my head as the door closes. I sigh one more time and purposely close my eyes. I wake with a jolt as I fall onto something crashing into the floor with a clatter of metal and the shattering of china. I let out a soft groan and sit up I am very wet and sticky. I look around and quickly realize that I am no longer within Celestia’s sleeping chambers, in fact it seems I was in a kitchen of some kind. Discord, I know you did this! Oh you are dead! Not even turning you into a statue will be enough to save you this time! I get to my hooves and give a shake of my head to clear it. Huh, that’s funny. Shouldn’t Tia’s hair be within sight of my eyes? I stop shaking my head and begin looking around I quickly find something I can utilize as a mirror. A shined pot hanging from a hook. Staring back at me is my sister wearing a rainbow colored clown wig which is splattered in multiple different desserts and ice cream toppings. I spin around as if chasing my tail and there is a pink tutu around my flank A tutu! A pink tutu! Ugh! We I mean I am the Princess of the night! Not some kind of… of Celestia clown ballerina! I storm outside of the restaurant not caring that I am radiating the power of the sun with every step I take pots melting and the slag dripping to the floor. When I notice I let out a sigh and decide to write a large check when I get home. After I put Discord on my wall that is. With this happy thought my horn glows and I vanish with a pop appearing in Celestia’s shower Tia can never find out what has happened! When I got out of the shower there is a eager purple alicorn waiting in my room. That’s right, Tia was going to send a chariot for her. I feel what seems to be a buzzing in my head. I recognize it immediately. Twilight was going to have to wait. It was time to raise the sun.