Rainbow shook the sleep from her bleary eyes, as she got up out of bed. Why she bothered to pull herself out of bed each morning was a question that still plagued her all this time later. She just couldn't see the point in getting up. She was a failure, a failure of the worst kind, she had betrayed one of her best friends. The worst part was that she was not even sure what she did. One time she had been called the element of loyalty. What she was now, she had no idea.
Ever since the passing of her friend Twilight, she had not been as sure of herself as she used to be. She was Rainbow Dash: the fastest pony known to Equestria. One time she would have taken on anyone, and never had backed down from any challenge. Now, she was a sniveling wreck who couldn't even bring herself to get out of bed in the mornings. What had happened to her?
She had long since given up any notion of flying with the Wonderbolts. She stopped training shortly after Twilight's funeral. Why should she try anymore? She had made it clear that she is a failure. “The Wonderbolts don’t accept failures, do they?” She asked herself, after managing to drag herself out of bed. She wandered over to the the door to her room, stopped for a second, and pulled it open. The sight before her was a sorry one. She had not bothered to do any cleaning for weeks now. She just couldn't bring herself to clean up. The one thing she still did was clear the sky for Ponyville. It was the only job she took seriously anymore, or even bothered doing. Going on about getting ready for the days work, she picked her away across the living room to her kitchen, and proceeded to open up the massive fridge that dominated the room. She never was any good at cooking, and would generally just go into town and buy some salads a few days in advance storing them in her fridge. Though today when she looked in, she realized that she had neglected to go into town yesterday after running out.
She sighed, realizing that she was going to have to leave a little earlier than planned. Not really having anything she needed to grab for work today, other than her satchel of bits that she needed to buy some food, she spread her wings and lazily took off through the front door. Looking down upon Ponyville only served to contrast her melancholy. Down below her, everypony went on with their cheerful daily lives, acting as if nothing terrible had ever happened. Well, she remembered and she regretted that fateful day. Lately she had also noticed that she didn't see Pinkie bouncing around, and that Rarity's boutique had fallen into a slight state of disrepair. She briefly wondered what her friends have been up to, before taking off.
Flying, now there was a feeling that everypony should be able to enjoy. The feeling of the air rushing through her mane and over her velvety coat made her feel like she was on top of the world. It made her want to go faster, or at least it used to. Nowadays, though she liked flying, it didn’t give her the same rush it used to. She never got that urge to go faster or to push herself harder anymore. Flying became just a method of transportation. She turned in the direction of town square, why town square she had no idea. It just seemed the logical place for her to start, as from there she could spiral out, clearing away the rest of the sky.
At one time she would have sped to Ponyville as fast as she could, then clear away the sky real quick so that she could sleep through the rest of the day. Such was not the case nowadays. She landed on a cloud just above town square, to get herself prepared for a day of work.
As she stretched, she wondered to herself, “How could I have fallen so far?”
She pondered this for a few moments, before hearing a small voice in her head. It was a voice she had heard before. In fact, she had heard it each day since the passing of Twilight.
“How could you have fallen so far, you ask? Well, how could you kill your friend?” It demanded. “How could you, the element of loyalty, take part in murdering one of your best friends? Is that what loyalty is, the murdering of your closest friends?”
In response came a smaller, more timid voice, “I didn't kill her, the elements did.”
“You’re pathetic, can't even own up to your own mistake can you? Have to throw the blame anywhere but you?”
Shaking her head to try and clear her mind of such thoughts Rainbow took off. She was gonna clear the clouds later, when she wasn't plagued with such thoughts. Maybe she should go and find somepony to talk to about the voices in her head.
Rainbow mulled this though over in her head, on one hoof she could go and talk to somepony and get these nasty thoughts out of her head. Doing this though she would have to open herself up to somepony, which wasn’t something she liked to do. On the other hoof, she could keep her silence and try and work things out herself and try to get the voices to go away.
Deciding that the voices would drive her crazy she opted to go an visit one of her friends.
“It'll have to be somepony that I have known for a long time and that I could trust with my life” She thought to herself.
• • • • At Zecora's Hut • • • •
“At some point you are going to have to go away. For I can not keep you here each day” Zecora said with sympathy painted on her face.
“I know, but I just don't know if I could bear to go back.” Fluttershy said in her usual timid voice.
Zecora, getting frustrated due to having this conversation almost everyday as well as the fact that Fluttershy had been living with her since the passing of her friend, retorted, “Don't know if you can go back, is it just courage that you lack?”
“What do you mean?” Fluttershy asked, confusion evident in her voice, she continued, “The rhyming doesn't help you know, I mean it's nice and all, but it can make it kinda hard to understand you sometimes.” Fluttershy said getting quieter as she spoke.
“Doesn't help? Why, you insolent whelp, I rhyme because it was how I was taught to speak, it's sure better than your squeak.” Zecora retorted angrily.
Tears misted Fluttershy's eyes as she ran out of the hut. She just didn't know what had gotten into Zecora lately. It seemed the longer she stayed the worst Zecora's mood got. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t cheer up the irritable zebra.
• • • •
Zecora watched as Fluttershy ran out of the hut in tears. She never wanted to hurt the poor filly, but she was starting to get on her nerves. At first, when Fluttershy came to her hut, she had been happy to agree to Fluttershy staying with her for a while, while she recovered from the loss of her friend. As time wore on, she had become frustrated with Fluttershy's incessant crying. As much as she loved poor Fluttershy, she needed to get going back to her old life at some point.
• • • •
As Fluttershy ran from the hut in tears, she wondered why Zecora would say such horrible things about her. Her squeak wasn’t that bad, was it? Though she was rather biased she supposed, so maybe she should get another opinion. The opinion would have to come from somepony she trusted to give her an honest answer. While the obvious answer would seem to be Applejack, sometimes she was too nice and skirted the edges of truth. No, there was only one pony she could go to who would give her a straight up answer, so she set out from Zecora's hut.
• • • • Somewhere Around Ponyville • • • •
Rainbow sped away more determined than she had felt in a long time, she finally found a way to get the voices out of her head and go figure, it just so happened to be by doing one things she never thought of her had done before. A queasy feeling settled at the bottom of her stomach, as she got closer to the Everfree.
“How can I do this without sounding like a foal?” Rainbow asked herself.
“What if that is what it takes?” Replied the smaller timid voice in her mind.
“Come on you can't do that, you're Rainbow Dash: the fastest most awesome pony in all of Equestria. You can't do that. You can't just cry like a foal.” Responded the angrier of the two voices in her head.
“Why not?” Asked the smaller voice, sounding curious.
“Because it would make us look weak. We can't afford to be weak to get into the Wonderbolts.” The angry voice replied.
“Wonderbolts, ha yeah right.” Rainbow said aloud without thinking.
“Dash, was that you?”
“Fluttershy?”
“Oh Dashie it is you.” Fluttershy said happily. She continued, “I was just about to go looking for you.” She stopped for a second before asking, “Wait how did you know where I was?”
“Fluttershy, I have known you most of my life, and you are probably the one I trust and love most out of my friends,” She paused for a second to take a breath, “that also means I know you the best, so I had figured you disappeared because you wanted time alone to get over, well you know.” She ended while looking everywhere but at Fluttershy.
“Oh Dashie, you miss her too.” Fluttershy responded sympathetically.
Rainbow just sat there idly picking at the ground with her hooves, not saying anything.
So why were you trying to find me, did you want to talk about something? Fluttershy asked, curiosity obvious in her voice.
Rainbow started, “Well I wanted to talk about, well you know...”
Fluttershy's face saddened as she responded quietly, “You wanted to talk about her, didn't you?”
Rainbow just nodded her head looking miserable.
“Well?” Fluttershy asked.
“Was it our fault?” Rainbow asked.
“What do you mean ‘was it our fault,’ do you mean to say that you think we killed her?
“Yes.” Rainbow said almost too quietly to hear.
How can you think that Dashie? It was Celestia that sent her the spell. So if anything it is her fault, but please don't blame her.” Fluttershy took a small breath before continuing, “After seeing her reaction to Twilight's mom yelling at her, I don't think she could handle knowing that we think it is her fault. Anyways say it was the spell that caused the elements to kill her. Do you honestly think Celestia would have sent Twilight that book if she knew that it could hurt her?”
“No.” Rainbow responded, before talking again, “But what if it wasn't the spell, what if it was just us and the elements that killed her?”
“Dashie do you honestly believe that after using them so many times that the elements would just suddenly decide to kill her? This only happened after she completed that spell.”
“So you don't think it was our fault.” Rainbow asked excitedly.
“No, I believe that it was the spell that killed Twilight, but again please don't be mad at the princess. I am sure she is going through the same thing we are and that should be punishment enough, don't you think?” Fluttershy asked urgently, for she was afraid her friend would so something rash. “Please forgive her and move on.”
“I will try.” Rainbow responded, not sounding too sure of herself, “Anyways I gotta go. I was supposed to clear the skies above Ponyville today, talk to ya later Fluttershy.
Dash then took off at breakneck speeds to go and clear the sky. She felt much happier now, she felt like the old Rainbow again. And best of all she couldn't hear the voices in her head anymore. Today was a great day to clear the Skies around Ponyville.
• • • •
Fluttershy realized that she forgot to ask Dash about her squeak, but when she searched the sky her friend was already long gone. It didn't really matter anyways, helping Dash made her feel happier. Maybe it was time to return to her cottage.
• • • •
Zecora smiled to herself, after seeing the two ponies talking to one another. She was especially pleased to see Fluttershy smiling when she walked away from where her and Dash were talking.
Zecora chuckled aloud to herself, “Sometimes the only way to combat grief, is to know when it is time to turn a new leaf.”