Dang O' Ponies, I Tell You- THEY'RE DANG OL' HERE MAN?!

by LtMajorDude


Awkward Reunion

Luanne, Lucky, and Gracie turned around to the source of the three thuds they had heard. Both Luanne and Lucky gasped loudly.

They saw an irritated purple dog on the floor. Next to the dog was a young orange-haired man who sported a white shirt, red jacket, and blue jeans. He was lying on the floor with his eyes closed, groaning. Finally, which horrified Luanne and Lucky the most, was an old man with short legs, due to his lack of shins. The old man laid on the floor, an angry look was on his face.

"C-C-Cotton?!" Lucky stammered.

The old man, Cotton, blinked and turned around to see Luanne, Lucky, and Gracie. His scowl turned into a smirk.

"Howdy Miss, Mister, Young'Un."

Luanne and Lucky screamed as they wasted no time backing away from Cotton.

"He's a zombie!" Luanne screamed as she dropped to the floor with Gracie on her arms, "He's coming to eat my brains!!!"

Lucky ran to Luanne and hugged her, "Since when do zombies greet humans, dear?" He said as he comforted her.

"Then, why is he in our living room?" Luanne asked desperately.

"That, I do not know," Lucky answered as Luanne gave him Gracie to cuddle. Both were surprised that Gracie does not seem alarmed by all this.

"Ugh..." the young man next to Cotton muttered. Cotton turned around and stared at the young man.

"Fry?" Cotton remarked with a raised eyebrow, "Ya actually exist?"

The man grunted, his hands covering his eyes, "Eenop-These aren't mah hooves."

The man opened his eyes slightly to get a glimpse of his hands. He turned around and stared at Cotton.

"That's what ya look like Big Fry-intosh?" Cotton exclaimed with an amused look on his face.

Big Macintosh stared at Cotton before letting out a small weak chuckle and dropping to the floor, passed out.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?!" Luanne shouted.

"Ah didn't do anything. The grown up Calvin fainted."

"Wait, he's Calvin from that comic?" Lucky asked.

"No!" Cotton stammered before letting out a sigh, "Look, Ah need yer help. But first, would ya stop acting so scared?!"

"Are you gonna eat our brains?"

"Damn it Luanne," Cotton hissed, "Ah ain't a zombie. I'll explain later. Just, help me get Calvin on a bed or something," he continued as he kicked Big Macintosh gently.

The dog started mumbling, "Cotton? Is that you?"

Luanne stared at the talking dog before twitching her left eye and fainting.

"What did that talking dog did to my wife?!" Lucky shouted as he put down Gracie on the couch before kneeling next to Luanne, who was lying on the ground.

"My name's Spike," the dog mumbled as he slowly opened his eyes, "And I didn't do anything. That girl just fainted."

"Amen, Doggy Spyro," Cotton replied, "Can't believe ya're not surprised by the human race. Then again, ya did go through that crown thing with Sunset Shipper or whatever her name was."

"Correct," Spike replied, "And don't call me Doggy Spyro."

Lucky just stared at Cotton, Spike, and Big Macintosh with a flabbergasted look on his face.

What...the...hell? he thought.


"I swear to God, Dauterive, that you best......holy crap."

Kahn's jaw dropped when he saw a young girl who was yellow skinned and had pink hair.

The girl slowly got up and looked at Kahn, making her gasp loudly with a scared look on her face.

Before Kahn could talk, the girl tried to ran, but then realized that she was not a pony.

"Oh my!" She said as she started to sweat more, "I'm not a pony...?!"

Kahn's eyes widen, "Fluttershy?"

The girl blinked and turned around to face Kahn, "Kahn Super-Phone?"

"Souphanousinphone," he corrected, "But, what are you doing here?! Shouldn't you be in Equestria or something?!?!"

"Oh, about that..."

Before she could answer, a woman came outside.

"Kahn!" She shouted, "No offense, but what's talking too lon-"

She stopped when she saw Fluttershy, who immediately scrambled to hide.

The woman just stood in her spot with awe on her face.

"Minh," Kahn said, "This is Fluttershy..."

"Why is she so...so yellow?" Minh asked Kahn, "I understand the pink hair, but..."

"Well...she's a pony," Kahn said.

Minh looked at Kahn with disbelief.

"I'll explain inside," Kahn said, "C'mon Flutters. Let's go inside."

Fluttershy slowly crawled out of her hiding spot. She had a nervous look on her face. Nevertheless, she followed Kahn to his house.

"I gotta teach you how to walk..." Kahn muttered.


"Dang, man..."

Boomhauer stood in awe as he stared at a white girl with dark blue hair.

"Ugh...what the..." The girl muttered as she looked up.

Her eyes widen when she looked at Boomhauer.

"Boomhauer?" The girl asked in disbelief.

"Dang ol' Rarity?" Boomhauer replied, "You look like dang ol' Rarity in that dang ol' movie. Not the dang ol' Rainbow Rocks one. Oh maybe that one. But mostly the first movie, I tell you what."

The girl tried to hug Boomhauer but failed. She instead fell down due to the fact that she was a human and not a pony.

"Huh?" She said in disbelief as she stared at her hands, "AAAAHHHH!!!! WHAT AM I?!?!"

"A dang ol' human miss," Boomhauer answered as he gently picked up Rarity.

"Ooh," Rarity cooed, "I didn't know you were that strong..."

"Yo," Boomhauer said with a small smirk, "Now let me just dang ol' put you in that lil' ol' bed man and I'll explain and show you how far the rabbit hole goes and all that stuff, yo. Oh and nothing sexual, just some, I tell you what, explaining."

"I didn't understand what you said," Rarity replied as Boomhauer placed her on his bed, "But something tells me that you want to explain some things to me."

"Yo," Boomhauer answered with a smile.


"Just like in the movie..."

Bill stared at the pink girl, who slowly got up from the ground without trouble. She seemed to not care that she is not a pony.

"Oh hey Bill!" The girl shouted.

Bill smiled back, "Hey Pinkie...Wait, how come you're not surprised tha-"

"I'm a human?" Pinkie asked, her smile not fading, "Oh that. I knew about that when Twilight told me about it."

"She told you?" Bill exclaimed.

"Well," Pinkie replied while looking on the floor with a slightly nervous smile, "I asked her to tell me more about humans since she went to that world where everypony was human beings. She wondered how I knew about that, I told it-"

"JUST A HUNCH!" She and Bill said at the same time, which made them both laugh at the same time.

Suddenly, they both heard another thud.

Bill blinked and turned around and saw an orange girl with yellow hair and a cowboy hat.

"Oh hi AJ!" Pinkie greeted while waving her hand, "Good to see you!"

The girl, Applejack, looked up and stared at Pinkie Pie, making Applejack gasp loudly. She then saw that her hooves were now hands. Finally, she caught a glimpse of Bill, who just waved and said:

"Hey Applejack. You look like the human counterpart in Equestria Girls."

Applejack dropped to the floor, completely passed out.

Bill and Pinkie Pie stared at the unconscious Applejack.

"I think we need to get her to your bed," suggested Pinkie.

"That's probably a good idea," replied Bill.


"Oh...my...God..."

Dale took off his sunglasses and cleaned them before wearing them.

He stared at the blue girl with rainbow-colored hair.

"Bill did talk about that Equestria Girls movie. But it wasn't canon. If it were, she woulda been married to Flash Sentry already!"

The girl looked up when she recognized that voice.

"It can't be," she said, "Dale? Is that you? Oh my Celestia...it really is yo-What happened to my hooves?"

Dale grabbed a mirror and threw it next to the girl. She looked at her reflection from the mirror. She let out a scream.

"What on Equestria am I!?!?" She yelled as she panicked.

Dale grabbed her on the shoulders, "Rainbow Dash, first, you gotta calm down. I know it's tough being another species! Remember when I was a damn pony!?!?"

Rainbow Dash wanted to panic more, but she surprisingly calmed down when Dale started talking.

"Alright," she mumbled, "I'll TRY to calm down. Now, please, tell me what happened to me and what I am and what you are and-"

"Dad? You OK? I heard some screaming."

Both Dale and Rainbow Dash froze when they saw a dark-skinned teenager on the stairs of the basement.

The teenager froze when he looked at Rainbow Dash.

There was a long uncomfortable silence before Dale broke it.

"Hey Joseph," Dale said, "Meet my friend, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow Dash nervously waved her hand.

Joseph stared at her before she spoke, "Hey. I'm...gonna go to the bathroom...and throw up."

As he ran to the bathroom, Dale smiled at Rainbow Dash, "He's my son," Dale said.

"OK..." Rainbow Dash replied confusedly.


"Oh my God..."

The figure seemed to be more surprised the second she recognized the voice. She was purple-skinned with dark purple hair.

"AHHHHHH!" The girl screamed as she backed away.

"BRWAHHH!" Hank screamed as he fell to the ground.

"Twilight Sparkle?!" shouted Hank, "What are you doing here?!"

"Hank?! Is that really you?!?!" Twilight exclaimed, "I can't believe it! That's what you look like as a human?!"

"Hank? Is everything alright?"

Hank gulped as soon as he heard his wife's voice. Peggy and Bobby went outside.

"We heard some shouting an-"

Peggy stared at Twilight, who just nervously waved her hand.

"Um...hi? You must be Hank's wife..."

Peggy let out a weak chuckle before fainting on the floor. Bobby actually looked excited and joyful than horrified and scared.

"Oh my God...It's Twilight Sparkle!" He exclaimed while making a squee, "And she looks like she came from Equestria Girls!"

Hank blinked, "What did you say Bobby?"

Bobby realized what he had said and nervously replied, "Nothing."

Hank let out a facepalm. Looks like Bill isn't the only brony, he thought.