Twilight spent much of the afternoon after Rainbow's victory gathering notebooks and sharpening pencils in preparation for the fifth round of the tournament. While the ponies' obligations for the current round had been fulfilled, a few final battles remained on the schedule, and Twilight was determined to collect as much intelligence on the remaining combatants as she could.
After assembling her supplies, Twilight assembled her two remaining friends in their hut. "All right, everypony," she said to Rarity and Rainbow Dash, "there are three battles left on today's schedule, and we've got just enough ponies to cover them. Rarity, I'd like you to watch the bout by the beach. Rainbow, I want you to keep an eye on the mountaintop match. I'll go to the primetime match being held at the main hall."
"Aw, do we have to?" Rainbow whined as Twilight stuffed several spiral notebooks into Rainbow's saddle bags. "I'm gonna miss my mid-afternoon nap!"
"And why do I have to go to the beach?" Rarity asked. "I won't get to show off my latest fashion creation to the television cameras!"
Twilight sighed and smacked her face with her hoof. "Focus, ponies," she said. "There aren't many competitors left, so chances are we'll end up facing the winners of these fights in the future. I want to know as much about these fighters as possible: Their strengths, their weaknesses, their style, everything. Besides, all the battles are televised now, remember?"
"True," Rarity said. "Still, I think we've already established that these ruffians have no style at all."
"And they definitely don't have any style that can match this!" Rainbow pounded her chest defiantly.
Twilight sighed. "Look, I just want to make sure we know what we might be up against, so we have the best possible chance of winning. Saving our friends—and the world—is too important to do anything less!"
"I suppose," Rarity conceded. "Very well. If information is you need, information is what we shall collect."
Rainbow Dash grimaced. "I still think I'd be better off being well-rested," she muttered.
Twilight eyed Rainbow suspiciously. "Didn't you already have your nap? You were sleeping on a cloud when I found you!"
"That was my early afternoon nap," Rainbow replied. "Obviously, you can't have a mid-afternoon nap until it's mid-afternoon, duh! An egghead like you should know that kind of stuff."
Twilight rolled her eyes. "Obviously."
Shao Kahn, for his part, spent the remainder of his day working the phones, trying to settle some urgent international business. "I don't care what that multi-souled moron Ermac thinks!" he yelled into the receiver. "I've already promised Commissioner Silver that he could stick Donald Sterling in our dungeon, and we need to use that cell! When the tournament is over, Ermac will just have to share—if I'm generous enough to spare his souls from destruction!" He slammed the phone onto the hook.
"What was that all about?" Fran asked from her card table in the corner.
"Oh, I'm just trying to make sure we have room in our dungeon for an incoming slimy sleazeball," Kahn explained.
"Emperor Kahn, sir!" One of Kahn's dark-clad, generic-looking ninjas stepped into Kahn's office. "We've just received an update from one of our changeling spies. They say that the ponies will be splitting up this evening in an attempt to watch all of the remaining battles."
"Excellent," Kahn said. "Our lavender friend will be at her most vulnerable without her precious friends in tow." He pointed a finger at the ninja. "Tell Chrysalis to brush up on her bipedal studies and martial-art moves. Tonight, after the featured battle...we strike."
"Strike?" Fran looked at Kahn nervously. "But I thought you said fighting outside of sanctioned matches was strongly discouraged."
"That's right," Kahn said. "Our broadcast partners get mad when they miss a chance to put gratuitous violence on TV." He patted Fran on the head. "Don't worry your silly little head about it—I will be sparing the rod for the time being. This will just be a meeting of the minds, an information session befitting a scholar of Miss Sparkle's stature. I want to give her a sneak preview of her matchup in the next round."
Fran scratched her head. "But won't that give her an unfair advantage? She'll be able to tailor her battle plan to a specific opponent."
Shao Kahn shot Fran an evil grin. "That, my dear Francine, is exactly what I'm counting on."
The crowd around the battle ring was still fairly sparse when Twilight arrived that evening. While the atmosphere remained tense and charged, the before- and after-battle party scene had never really recovered from Pinkie Pie's defeat, so most of the spectators elected to arrive at the very last minute or skip the battle altogether.
Twilight, however, decided not to take any chances, and took up a position on a hill overlooking the fight to avoid being distracted or having her view blocked. "This is perfect," she said as she pulled a pencil and pad of paper from her saddlebags. "I'm close enough to get a good look at how the fighters operate, and far away enough to not have to listen to that wrestler guy or smell those fried scorpions at the snack stand."
She was not, however, far away enough to avoid being watched by Shao Kahn, who kept his binoculars trained on the unicorn from his private box. "She's hunkered down on the east hill," he spoke into a walkie-talkie. "Be prepared to move in once the battle is over, and remind our dear changeling queen to put on a good show."
Back on the hill, Twilight raised her quill as the battle announcer entered the ring. "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," the announcer began, "welcome to tonight's primetime matchup! We've got a great one in store for you, so are you ready for some action?"
The crowd responded with an indifferent murmur.
"I can't hear you!" The announcer teased, putting a hand to his ear.
An awkward silence followed, broken only by a few stray cricket chirps.
The announcer ignored the crowd's indifference, and swept a hand to one side of the battle ring. "In this corner, a brutal mauler who thrives on pain and suffering, and who moonlights as an alternate for both the Blue Man Group and the Seattle Seahawks' defensive line...give it up for Moloch!"
A large, muscular beast with blue skin and three yellow eyes stepped into the ring, unleashing a huge roar as he emerged. Moloch: Tall, stocky, loud, Twilight noted. Very intimidating on first impression. Lumbering, kind of slow. Carries a huge cannonball around with him?
The announcer pointed to the opposite side of the ring. "And in this corner, the original shadowy ninja of the universe, the coldest hombre this side of Sub Zero, the one, the only...Noob Saibot!"
NS: Unimposing figure despite gothic appearance, Twilight wrote down in her notebook as Noob stepped into the ring. Whiny and disorganized when encountered previously. Seems like more of a bureaucrat on the island. I'm curious to see how it made it this far.
"Combatants ready?" the announcer asked.
Moloch unleashed a deafening roar in response, while Noob Saibot simply nodded.
"Very well then," the announcer said. "FIGHT!"
Both combatants charged at each other, Moloch raised an arm to strike, but Noob beat him to the punch (literally) with a ferocious six-hit combo that sent Moloch sprawling to the ground.
Twilight's eyes popped wide open at Noob's unexpected display of skill. Neither adversary is very patient, she noted. Noob Saibot much faster and stronger than expected. Has enough power to fell somepony twice his size. Moloch slothfulness confirmed. Seems to have a glass jaw.
Before Moloch could even blink, Noob grabbed him, spun him around a few times in the air, and then flung him against the side of the building nearby, sending the crowd in that area running for cover. As Moloch slid down the wall and fell to the ground, Noob leaped a good twenty feet into the air, then stopped abruptly in mid-jump, did a quick somersault, and landed hard on Moloch's head with a devastating ground pound.
Twilight's jaw dropped to the ground, and she scribbled down her observations as fast as she could. Incredible leaping ability, off the charts athleticism, hits with a force that far exceeds his mass. As dangerous in the air as he is on the ground. Will require extra planning to defeat.
Noob Saibot leaped back and assumed a defensive stance as he waited for Moloch to rise again (which took a good forty-five seconds). When Moloch was finally upright, the Oni roared and slammed his cannonball weapon into the ground, causing several sharp rocks to shoot out of the ground and towards Noob Saibot. The shadowy ninja, however, dodged the projectiles with ease, and ended his defensive display by clapping the last rock between his hands and crushing it to dust.
Agility levels nearly 200% of that of a normal ninja, Twilight wrote. Nearly impenetrable when in defense mode. Will need to re-consult 'Art of War' book for this opponent!
Moloch, angered by his attack's ineffectiveness, let out another roar and charged at Noob Saibot. Noob, however, responded by uttering a few words in an ancient tongue, which caused him to disappear just at Moloch arrived. Noob reappeared several seconds later behind Moloch, and landed a jab on the back of Moloch head before jumping back and motioning for Moloch to try again. "He's magical too?" Twilight shouted at Noob toyed with his opponent. "Is this guy on steroids or something?"
After repeating his teleport-attack-repeat procedure for a minute or so, Noob yawned and summoned a gigantic blue-and-white fireball, which he promptly launched at Moloch's gut. Noob's aim was true, and the fireball sent Moloch flying across the ring.
Extraordinary magical capabilities! Twilight wrote as Moloch skidded to a stop at the announcer's feet. Teleports and summons fireballs with minimal effort. Seems to have been saving his talents for the later rounds, which means this display may just be a lower bound on his power!
The announcer looked down at Moloch's unconscious form for a few seconds. "That's the ballgame!" he declared.
A half-hearted cheer went up from the crowd in response. "Finish him! Finish him!" a voice in the back shouted.
"You heard the man!" Shao Kahn called down to Noob Saibot. "Unleash your true fury!"
Noob Saibot grinned evilly from behind his mask, then waved his arms at Moloch and began casting another spell. A green glow suddenly surrounded Moloch, and the Oni began to shrink and lose his muscular appearance, eventually regressing into a small, two-year old monster. "Noob Saibot wins!" the announcer shouted. "Babality!"
"An age spell?!?" Twilight's eyes nearly popped out of her head as the crowd cheered. "He can cast an age spell too?" She frantically scribbled down a few more notes in her notebook. Extremely advanced magical ability. Combination of physical and magical talents make him by far the most dangerous man in the tournament! How are we ever going to defeat him?
As Shing Tsung stepped into the ring to take care of Moloch's soul, Shao Kahn reached for his walkie-talkie. "I believe Miss Sparkle is ready to listen to reason now," he said.
On cue, several of Kahn's generic ninjas stepped out of the forest behind Twilight. "Miss Sparkle?" one of the ninjas asked. "Emperor Kahn wishes to speak with you in his private chambers at once."
"He wants to talk now?" Twilight slipped her notebook back into her saddlebag and eyed the ninjas suspiciously.
"Yes," the ninja confirmed. "He said it was urgent."
Twilight looked back towards the battlefield, shaking her head as Noob Saibot took a curtain call. "All right," she said. "I'll see what Kahn has to say."
While Shao Kahn's staff led Twilight to the emperor's chambers, Kahn himself took a few shortcuts from his private box to ensure that he arrived there first. Much to his surprise, however, Kahn found his room already occupied by Noob Saibot when he walked through the door. "That was a splendid performance!" Kahn said, slapping his lackey on the back. "I must say, Chrysalis, your number has earned a permanent place in my Rolodex—you'd be a natural choice to star in the movie adaptation of my autobiography."
Chrysalis metamorphosized back into her true changeling form. "What can I say?" she said with a shrug. "It's what I do."
The sound of hooves on stonework started echoing from the hallway. "Well, you'd better do it one more time," Kahn advised Chrysalis. "We can't have Twilight finding out you're still on my payroll."
Chrysalis sighed and transformed into one of Kahn's ninja staffers. "By the way," she said, "I swung by Noob Saibot's cell on the way up here, and he's improved from spewing gibberish to saying complete sentences. Should we be concerned that—"
Shao Kahn brushed off Chrysalis's concerns with a wave of his hand. "We left him down in Ermac's cell for a good 48 hours, and his mind is sufficiently scarred. He shall play his role with aplomb." He walked over to his desk and started messing with a laptop that was sitting there. "I'm more concerned about this blasted PowerPoint presentation working," he admitted.
As Kahn fiddled with his computer, Twilight and her ninja accompaniment entered the room. "I'm here, Kahn," Twilight said, her eyes narrowing as she glared at her host. "What did you want to discuss so urgently?"
Kahn laughed. "I'm glad you could join us on such short notice!" He pulled a remote out of his desk drawer and used it to turn on a projector mounted on the ceiling. "I just wanted to congratulate you and your pony brethren for defying the odds and making it this far in our humble tournament."
"That's what you call urgent?" Twilight asked.
"Oh, but there's more," Kahn continued. "As a reward for such outstanding displays of martial arts excellence, I'd like to give you an exclusive sneak preview of the next round!"
"A sneak preview? Really?" Unsure of the Outworld emperor's motives, Twilight kept a close eye on Kahn as he continued working on (and cursing at) his computer. Eventually, the projector displayed a stylized title slide with the words "MK Tournament, Round 5: Endurance Matches."
"Endurance matches?" Twilight stared at the slide for a moment, then looked back over at Kahn. "What are endurance matches?"
"I'm glad you asked!" Kahn flipped to the next slide, which contained a set of bullet points detailing the endurance match rules. "Instead of the boring old mono y mono battles we've been having, in an endurance match, all combatants are randomly paired with another fighter and forced to fight just the way Noah intended: two by two! The pairs, however, do not fight simultaneously—instead, the battle starts as a fight between a member of each pair, and the second member of the pair steps in when the first is defeated. The first team to defeat both members of the opposition is declared the winner. Easy peasy, am I right?"
Twilight nodded. "Yes, but I still don't see why you're telling me this now when you'll have to tell everypony about this tomorrow. What's the big secret?"
"Now now, Miss Sparkle!" Shao Kahn smiled evilly and wagged a finger at the unicorn. "Don't go jumping to conclusions before you've received all the facts!" He flipped to the next slide, with contained a diagram of the entire tournament bracket. "I'm also prepared to give you an advance look at the pairings and matchups!"
Twilight squinted at the obscenely-small text in the bracket. "How am I supposed to read this?"
"Hold on, there's a slide for that." Kahn clicked his remote, but nothing happened. "Good grief, don't tell me I have to reboot this piece of junk again," he grumbled. He waved the remote around and clicked it a few more times, then threw it onto the ground and crushed it with his boot. "Leave a note for Fran to order a new remote tomorrow," he told Chrysalis.
Kahn walked over to the laptop and tapped on the keyboard, and the slide changed to a close-up of the center of the bracket. "How time flies!" he remarked. "It seems we're down to the final eight combatants in our tournament."
Twilight noted the positions of the three remaining ponies in the bracket. "Do the bracket positions reflect the battle pairings?"
"Of course not!" Kahn laughed. "We've never followed such logic before, so why start now?" He jumped to the next slide, which depicted a quartet of fighters Twilight didn't recognize. "Ooh, Taven and Daegon on the same team?" Kahn clapped his hands together gleefully. "Talk about a ratings bonanza! Although I suppose I should have Fran double-check with our insurance agent before the battle, and make sure we've got enough homeowners coverage on our island."
Twilight's eyes widened as the implications of the first battle hit her. Not only were all three ponies fighting in the same match, but the fourth member of the group would be Noob Saibot. She gulped as she looked back at the saddlebag containing her notes from the primetime battle.
"And this means that the participants in the second battle are..." Kahn slammed his hand down on the keyboard with a flourish, but instead of showing the next slide, the screen went dark. "Oh, come on!" Kahn said as looked down at the laptop screen. "What do you mean, 'Driver IRQL Not Less or Equal?'" He grabbed the laptop and threw it against the wall, smashing it into a million pieces. "Accursed Microsoft rubbish!"
Twilight glared at the Outworld emperor, knowing full well why he had called her in to meet. "I don't need to see the matchup," she told Kahn. "You're trying to turn us against each other, just like before. You're trying to—"
"Why, Twilight!" Kahn brought his hands to his chest and feigned a look of surprise. "Your accusation cuts me to the quick! I'll have you know that I am just as big a proponent of the magic of friendship as you are, and that I would never do anything as vile as tearing apart a group of lifelong friends. Really, I'm shocked—shocked!—that you would ever think such a thing."
Twilight arched an eyebrow at Kahn, unconvinced by the emperor's claim.
Kahn smiled back at Twilight, then walked over to a whiteboard mounted near the doorway and grabbed a marker. "You see," he explained, "it's not the individuals that matter here, but the teams they're assigned to. Observe." He drew out the names of the four fighters in the tournament, then drew lines between them to signify the pairs. "At eleven tomorrow morning, Rainbow and Miss Rarity will be competing against you and my most powerful associate, Noob Saibot. You've met Noob, haven't you?"
Twilight winced and looked back at her saddlebag once more. "Yes."
"He's pretty good, huh?" Kahn laughed. "Anyways, I just thought that since you had made it this far, and since you and those other ponies are such good friends, I should give you time to prepare your friends for tomorrow's clash...and their inevitable destruction." He reached down and put his arm around Twilight. "After all, you are the most magical unicorn in the known universe, and my man Noob is the toughest, most talented, most brutal fighter left in the game, right?"
"R-Right," Twilight stammered, unsure of what to make of this development.
Shao Kahn suddenly straightened back up. "I've got an idea!" he said. "Why don't you go down to Noob's crib and talk battle strategy? He tends to toy with opponents and makes them suffer, but I'm sure you can convince him to make your friends' deaths as quick and painless as possible."
Twilight was silent for a few moments as she considered the idea. "Maybe I will," she finally said.
"Good, good!" Kahn gestured towards his ninja henchmen standing by the door. "Be a good host and show our pony friend to Noob's room, would you?"
The ninjas nodded, and motioned for Twilight to follow them. Twilight took one last long look at Kahn, then turned and walked out of the room.
Chrysalis waited for the echo of Twilight's hooves in the hallway to dissipate before transforming out of her disguise. "So," she asked, "are your precious equations still balancing?"
"Like a top on a tightrope." Kahn rubbed his hands together and grinned evilly. "Our friend Twilight is already doing the math in her head, and Noob's sudden and regrettable misfortune will make her decision that much easier."
Twilight began to get nervous as her ninja escort led her past the fighter rooms and down into the castle dungeon. "Why are you bringing me down here?" she asked one of the ninjas.
"Emperor Kahn said to take you to see Noob Saibot," the ninja replied. "This is where he is staying."
On cue, a loud scream echoed through the hall. "That's him now," the ninja said. "Please, come this way."
The party wound their way through the depths of the dungeon, passing cell after cell of seedy looking characters (which were actually more disguised changelings) who watched Twilight pass without expression. Finally, the ninjas stopped in front of Noob Saibot's cell, finding the ninja curled up in the fetal position in the corner and sucking on his thumb.
Twilight stared at Noob Saibot in surprise. "That's Noob Saibot? The same guy who was wreaking havoc in the battle half an hour ago?"
"We're afraid so," one of the ninja escorts replied. "You see, Mr. Saibot has just received word that his poor old mother has died, and—"
"You idiot!" A second ninja smacked the first ninja in the back of the head. "It was his grandmother, not his mother!"
"No, I'm positive Kahn said it was his mother!" the first ninja snapped back.
"I thought he was sad because he lost his life savings betting on the Belmont Stakes," a third ninja offered.
Twilight sighed as the ninjas started arguing over exactly why Noob Saibot looked so bad. "Could you at least open the cell so I can talk to him?" she asked.
The ninja ignored Twilight and continued arguing. Twilight shook her head, summoned her magic, and promptly teleported inside the bars. "Um, hello there, Mr. Saibot," she said, sticking out her hoof.
Noob Saibot looked up at Twilight, and his eyes widened in terror. "Get down!" he screamed as he lunged at the pony.
"Aah!" Twilight had no time to react, and quickly found herself lying on the floor with Noob Saibot lying on top of her. "Get off me!" she objected. "What are you doing?"
Noob brought his face close to Twilight, his eyes as wide as saucers. "Do you hear them?" he whispered. "They're in the walls, the ceilings, the floors, always watching, always waiting, waiting for the right moment...to strike."
"What are you talking about?" Twilight asked.
"You can hear them scratching at the rocks, and telling their plans to each other," Noob Saibot went on. "Squeaky squeak, squeaky squeakity squeak!"
"Are you talking about...rats?"
"Don't call them that!" Noob clamped his hand over Twilight's mouth. "They hate that word! If you call one of them that, the rest will know...and they'll come after you."
"Ohhhh-kay." Twilight decided that she'd heard enough, and uses her teleportation spell to zap herself out of the cell.
"Don't go to sleep!" Noob threatened, throwing himself against the bars of his cell. "They always attack when your back is turned!"
Twilight looked incredulously at the other ninjas. "All this because he lost his mother, or grandmother, or whoever it was?"
"Sad, isn't it?" one of the ninjas said with a shrug. "Don't worry though, it's just a temporary episode. It may take a day or two, but he'll get over it and be his usual bloodthirsty, take-no-prisoners self in no time." The ninja patted Twilight on the back. "It's a good thing he's got you to cover for him in the next round."
Twilight gulped and cast another look at her saddlebag. "Lucky him."
It took Twilight a good twenty minutes to cover the ground between Kahn's castle and the ponies' hut, and her friends were waiting by the front door when she arrived. "My stars, Twilight!" Rarity exclaimed. "Where have you been? And why do you look so...dreary?"
"One too many marigold margaritas at the after-party, huh?" Rainbow Dash guessed.
Twilight shook her head. "I had an unexpected meeting with Shao Kahn," she explained.
"And what did the foul brute have to say?" Rarity asked.
"I'll tell you later," Twilight said. "Anyway, what did you find out at the other battles?"
"Aw, mine turned out to be a big fat bore," Rainbow said as she rolled her eyes. "That Tebow guy was supposed to be fighting, but he withdrew and left because he'd been elected Pope or something."
"The one I attended was a rather tacky bout, but I did manage to collect some information." Rarity lifted her own notebook out of her bag and started scanning it. "Both participants used the same clashing red-and-blue color scheme, and neither one wore it particularly well. One of the gentleman wore a form-fitting bodysuit that did not leave enough to the imagination, and he had this emblem on his chest that was far too garish for the occasion. The other went with a folksy shirt-and-overalls combination that made him look like a simpleton, and he had this horrendous mustache that would have made even Applejack scream in terror. I did, however, appreciate his monogrammed chapeau."
"That's not what I was—oh, never mind," Twilight sighed. "Our battle is at eleven tomorrow morning. Rarity, can you put together a mouse mask for us to wear before then?"
"A mouse mask?" Rarity gave Twilight a confused look "Certainly, Twilight, but why on earth would we need it?"
"And what do you mean by 'our' battle?" Rainbow asked. "Which of us are actually fighting?"
"All of us." Twilight shook her head and pushed past her friends as they looked on in surprise. "Look, I'll explain later. Right now, I just want to go to bed. It's going to be a long night."
Rarity and Rainbow Dash watched silently as Twilight curled up in the corner of the cabin. "I shoulda warned her," Rainbow remarked. "Those margaritas can ruin your night in a hurry if you're not careful."
Morning, and Twilight's explanation, came all too soon for the ponies, and before long they found themselves standing at the edge of the island's mountaintop battle ring, waiting for their endurance match to begin. While the crowd around them was abuzz at the juicy matchup, the ponies themselves were silent, and they stared out at the battle ring waiting for the inevitable.
Finally, the battle referee stepped into the circle. "All right, everyone, it's time for today's fifth-round match to begin!" she proclaimed, drawing a loud cheer from the crowd.
As the referee gave a quick rundown of the rules, Rarity cast a nervous glance at Twilight. "Are you absolutely sure about this, darling?" she asked. "I'm sure this Noob Saibot character is powerful and all, but undermining him at the cost of your own soul?"
"I have to do this," Twilight responded coldly. "We can't take the chance of letting Noob Saibot recover, and we certainly can't do it at the cost of your souls."
"But you're, like, the most magical thing left on this island!" Rainbow offered. "I don't care how much juice that goth geek's got up his sleeves, he could never go hoof-to-hoof with you and live to tell about it!"
"Not to mention that you've been our chief strategist and motivator ever since we arrived," Rarity added. "While I plan to make these witless oafs pay for Sweetie Belle's capture, I hardly think that I have a better chance than—"
"No," Twilight said. "We're better off having both of you around than one of me."
"...The first combatants to enter to the ring will be Rarity and Twilight Sparkle!" the referee announced. "Fighters, to your positions!"
Rarity gulped and stepped into the battle ring, sweating nervously as Twilight took her position on the opposite side.
"Combatants ready?" the ref asked.
Both ponies nodded.
"Then without further ado...FIGHT!"
Rarity took a deep breath and walked slowly over to Twilight, who remained still. With the crowd around the pair cried out for blood, Rarity walked up and placed both front hooves on Twilight's side, then turned her head away, closed her eyes, and gave Twilight a light shove.
"Ack!" Twilight flung her hooves into the air and fell to the ground with a theatrical flourish. "I go, and it is done; the bell invites me. Hear it not, for it is a knell that summons thee to heaven. Farewell to you, and you, and you, Rarity. Farewell to thee too, Rainbow. Countryponies, my heart doth—"
"I think you're overdoing it, darling," Rarity interrupted.
"Oh. Sorry." Twilight brought a hoof to her forehead. "Et tu, Rarity? Then fall, Twilight!" With that, Twilight closed her eyes and let her limbs fall limply to the ground.
"That's it!" The referee threw her hands in the air. "Rarity wins!"
The crowd started booing Rarity for all it was worth, unhappy at the battle's lack of action. "Are you kidding me?" Shing Tsung sputtered as he pushed his way into the ring. "I mean, this girl goes full nuclear on Ermac's flank, then takes a dive on the first punch?" Shing approached Twilight and glared down at the fallen pony. "Come on, girl, at least make it look good! I mean, we're up against The Voice this week!"
Twilight re-opened her eyes and frowned at Shing, then reached out a back leg and kicked Shing square in the crotch, causing Shing to scream and fall to his knees in pain (and also drawing the loudest cheers thus far). "If you'd prefer not to sing soprano for the rest of your life," Twilight threatened as she raised her leg for a second blow, "then I suggest you stop complaining and go with the flow."
"Okay, okay! You win!" Shing squeaked in a voice two octaves higher than usual.
Twilight looked over at Rarity and winked. "You know what to do next. Go get 'em."
Rarity nodded weakly and turned away, preferring not to watch as Shing removed Twilight's soul.
"And now, for the third combatant of the fight!" The referee announced. "Noob Saibot!"
The crowd parted to make way for four of Kahn's generic-looking ninjas as they carried a jittery Noob Saibot out on a stretcher. "No! Please!" Noob begged. "Don't leave me out here in this filth where they can—" He was cut off when the ninjas dumped him onto the ground.
"Combatants ready?" the referee asked as Kahn's ninjas retreated.
Rarity nodded again, but Noob Saibot ignored the ref and turned to the crowd. "Listen to me, everyone!" he shouted. "Repent of your sins and pray to your gods, for the end of days is nigh! The Rodent King is coming, and he seeks to end the reign of humanity!"
Rarity and Rainbow Dash exchanged confused looks as Noob Saibot preached. "And you thought Twilight was overdoing it," Rainbow remarked.
"Well...perhaps this works in our favor," Rarity said. "Do be a dear and pass me that mask, would you?"
Meanwhile, Shing Tsung walked over to Noob Saibot and tried to get the ninja to focus. "Get your head in the game, dog!" Shing pleaded. "I mean, we're on a tight schedule here! We need to get this fight in pronto!"
"There is no point!" Noob thundered. "Resistance is futile! We cannot hope to prevail over the Rodent Revolution!"
Shing Tsung threw his hands up in disgust. "You might as well start the fight, bro," he told the referee.
"Could you at least get him to turn around and face his opponent?" the referee asked.
"Shing shrugged. "Yo, Sai-butt!" he yelled as he waved his arms in air. "You mind preaching to the choir over here?"
Noob turned. "We haven't much—yah!" Noob's face went pale at the sight of Rarity wearing her homemade mouse mask. "It's too late!" he wailed. "The Rodent King has arrived!"
"Well, er, yes. Yes, I have," Rarity deadpanned. "Squeak squeak squeak."
"Run for your lives! Save yourselves!" Noob turned to flee the battle ring, but the crowd stood firm and would not let him through.
"Oh no you don't, you coward!" one of the impeding spectators shouted. "We paid good money to see some action, and by jingles, we're gonna get it!"
"What are you waiting for?" Rainbow Dash shouted towards Rarity. "Get in there and give him the business!"
"Now now, Rainbow," Rarity replied. "I believe that discretion is the batter part of valor here." She walked over to where Noob Saibot was trying frantically to escape. "I'm afraid you're right, Mr. Saibot," she said. "I intend to conquer this world and subject all of its inhabitants to long and painful deaths. If I were you, I would ask the poorly-dressed fellow over there—"
"Who are you calling 'poorly-dressed?'" Shing interrupted. "I mean, zebra-print patterns are all the rage!"
"Only if you're an actual zebra," Rarity corrected Shing. "Now then, Mr. Saibot, I think your best course of action is to have our zebra-striped friend remove your soul in a quick and painless manner, before my, uh, my rodent brethren take if from you forcefully."
"Yes, of course!" Noob rushed over and fell at Shing's feet. "Release me from this mortal coil, my brother," he begged. "and spare me from a fate worse than death!"
"What? No!" Shing declined. "I mean, if we get a Mortal Kombat match without any combat, Fox is gonna be majorly peeved, and the big cheese will give me a fate worse than death!"
"Oh, for the love of Celestia," Rarity muttered. She used her magic to lift Noob Saibot back onto his feet, then manipulated Noob's leg to kick out and land a second hard blow to Shing's groin.
"Aiiieee!" Shing stiffened, then fell over backwards.
As the crowd cheered, Rarity walked over and looked down at Shing. "Is that enough combat for you?" she asked.
"Yes, Miss Rarity," Shing squeaked, his voice now resembling a dog whistle.
"And that's a wrap!" the referee proclaimed, as Shing began removing Noob Saibot's soul while still lying on the ground. "Rarity and Rainbow Dash are the winners!"
Rainbow flew over and landed next to Rarity. "Good battle," Rainbow offered. "That last kick was a nice touch."
"I thought so," Rarity replied.
The two ponies stared silently for a few moments over at where Twilight still lay on the ground as the crowd began to disperse. "So...I guess it's just you and me now," Rainbow observed.
Rarity sighed. "It would seem so."
Rainbow took a deep breath and summoned her confidence. "Well, that's just one more beatdown we're gonna have to give that skull-faced snot when we see him!" she declared. "Nopony takes down our friends like this and gets away with it!"
"My sentiments exactly," Rarity agreed. She cast a long look down at the castle sitting at the base of the mountain. "Mr. Kahn will eventually run out of subordinates to obstruct us, and when he does"—Rarity's eyes narrowed—"he will pay."
Back in the castle, Shao Kahn was locked in an intense battle of wits with Chrysalis, with both parties trying to gain the upper hand on the other. Kahn had defeated creatures ten times as fearsome as Chrysalis, and had done well to hold his ground for this long, but Chrysalis had started asking increasingly probing questions, and Kahn was running out of ways to dodge them.
Across the table, Chrysalis smiled smugly at Kahn as she went in for the kill. "Got any fours?"
"Confound you, Chrysalis!" Kahn threw his cards down violently onto the table. "You're cheating, I just know it!"
"Of course I'm cheating," Chrysalis replied. "What did you expect?"
"I expect to out-cheat you, that's what!" Kahn raged. "I expected some beginner's luck out of you, but eight games in a row?"
"Oh, don't be such a sore loser," Chrysalis said. "I just know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em, that's all."
"My lord!" One of Khan's ninjas hurried into the room. "We just got word that the ponies' battle has ended."
"And did you bring me what I asked for?" Kahn asked.
The ninja nodded, and stepped aside as four more ninjas entered carrying Twilight's body on a stretcher.
Chrysalis dropped her cards at the sight. "Can it be?" She hurried over to Twilight and pressed her hoof against one of Twilight's legs. "There's....there's no pulse!" She leaned her head down near Twilight's mouth. "She's not breathing! She's... She's..."
A huge smile appeared on Chrysalis's face, and she began leaping and prancing around the room. "She's finished! Done for! Celestia's precious protégé is finally history! The wicked witch is dead!"
Kahn laughed as Chrysalis and his staff ninjas formed a conga line and began dancing around the room. "I knew you'd appreciate seeing this," he said. He leaned in close to Twilight's face. "I'm afraid your adventure is over, my little pony," he cackled. "I've saved the best for last, you see, and your friends do not stand a chance against the evils I have in store for them. They will fall like dominoes, and when they do...all of Earthrealm will finally be mine."