How I Met Them

by The Infinity Doctor


The only thing worse...

I stepped through the door to the doughnut shop with Twilight and her friends, Toxic, and Spike. I readjusted my suit as I held the door open for the others, I had thankfully managed to revert back to human form, allowing me to walk safely through regular-sized doorways without ducking. Amethyst followed close in a stunning blue dress, accentuating her eyes.

"Dad...can't I come with you?" Toxic asked, standing next to Spike.
"Sorry bud" I said, crouching down "but I really don't think you'd like it, there're going to be a lot of grown-ups at this thing, and you'd be bored to tears"
"Why couldn't the crusaders come?"

I felt a shiver run down my spine, the mere thought of what the crusaders could do giving me chills.

"Let's...not think of that possible disaster" I laughed, hugging him "behave for Joe and Spike for me, okay?"
He nodded hesitantly as I set him down, and left with Twilight and the others.

"So, this Gala then?" I asked, feigning ignorance.
"Only the biggest social event of the year, darling" Rarity gushed.
"Didn't we already explain this to you?" Rainbow asked, tugging a bit at her dress.
"Guess I just forgot" I shrugged.


"Yay! We're here!" Pinkie cheered "Those time skips are quick!"
"What in the world are you...never mind..." Twilight sighed.
I chuckled as we walked into the palace, the party seeming to just get started as other ponies filtered into the hall.

'Let's see...Octavia...Fleur...Fancy Pants...background ponies...etc etc etc'

"So Jonas...what are you going to do?" Applejack asked.
"Why are you asking me specifically?" I replied, cocking an eyebrow.
"Ah don't know what yer talkin' about"
"Never mind" I said.

I spied the band climbing onto the stage, and I turned to Amethyst as they began tuning.

"So...would you like to have something to eat with me?" I asked.
"S-sure" she replied.

The both of us left for the food table, leaving Twilight and her friends to their own devices. Given how the Gala ended in the show, I think I'd better watch my back tonight.

"So...um...how've you been?" I asked.

'Really? That's the best you could come up with?'

"F-fine" Amy replied nervously.

"Oh..."

"S-so...uh...things are good with you?"
"Yeah..."

'Jeez, I'm horrible at this...'

We collected our food from the table, and wandered together around the hall, admiring the ornate decorations and slowly swelling music.

"Hey Amy..." I said.
"Y-yes?"
"Would you, um-"

"Hiya!" Pinkie shouted, hanging off my shoulders.

"Ah! Pinkie..."
"Hello" Amy said.
"What are you doing?" I asked as the pink mare hopped off of me.
"Oh, nothing..." she responded, a huge grin plastered on her face.
She grabbed the plates from our hands, and tossed them, the ceramic disks flying out of view.

"What do you think you're-"

I was cut-off as I found myself face-to-face with Amy, I looked to the culprit, who was waving sporadically.

"*Ahem* Would you like to dance?" I asked.
"If you insist" she laughed.

She and I began a clumsy waltz, I admit I'm not the best dancer. We began by just swaying to the music, my right hand wrapped around her waist as I held her paw with my left, her doing just the opposite.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, her head tilting a little.
"No..." I responded "It's just...you..."
She smiled a bit, her front canines showing as we danced.

"You know, I've never danced in my life" I said.
"Really? You do it so wonderfully"
I blushed as we continued, we did a small spin as the song ended, finishing our rather unimpressive dance.

"That was fun" she said "Thank you"
"My pleasure" I said, doing a small bow.

She giggled as Applejack made her way over with a cart full of apple-related treats.

"Care fer somethin', love birds?" she grinned.
Amy's muzzle turned scarlet as I felt my own do the same.
"I...I think I'll just have an apple fritter..." I replied.
"I think I'd like the same, please" Amy said.
"Sure thing!"

The orange mare hoofed us our fritters, and quickly went on to some of the other ponies in the crowd.

"I got an idea" I said, munching on my fritter "you want to go out to the gardens?"
"Oh...um...no thank you..."
'That was unexpected...'

"Alright then" I said, smiling "what would you like to do?"
"Um...I don't know..."
"Well, there's no reason we have to do anything, right?"
She nodded.
"We can just talk for a little while"

She nodded again.

"Well...do you have any family?" I asked.
"Yes, I have a mother, father, and a few siblings" she responded.
"I think I'd like to meet them sometime"
"Wh-what?"
"Sure, I mean...not unless you want me to..."
"I think...we could...maybe talk about that some other time..."
"Sure" I smiled.

The band finished their next song, and I walked toward the stage, where the ponies there were just setting up. Octavia sat to the right, tuning her cello, as another was preparing the piano.

"Uh, excuse me" I said.

The stallion at the piano looked up from his sheet music, and his eyebrows shot up as soon as he saw me.

"Y-yes?"
"I'd like to play something for her" I said, pointing to Amy from across the hall.
The stallion looked to Octavia, who shrugged in response.

"Uh...sure..." he said, a bit confused "who exactly do you plan to-"
"It's a surprise- now shoo" I said.
Both of them gave me a strange look before leaving the stage.

'Alright...let's see...'

I think I have just the thing!


"Uh...sugarcube? You seein' what I'm seein'?" Applejack asked, spying short, white figures filter onto the stage through a door off to the left of the ballroom.
"Indeed, it seems Jonas has something special in mind" Rarity said, keeping an eye out for her date.
"Ah don't know...somethin' seems unsettlin' about those red eyes o' theirs..."

After about three dozen of the creatures crawled onto the stage, Jonas stepped up in front of them, addressing the crowd. He cleared his throat and tugged at his collar before he spoke.

"H-hello everypony, I'd- I'd like to dedicate this song to- to- Amy"

Amy's face turned crimson as she stared, her face unreadable.

I tapped the conductor's stand, and all of the turrets stood at attention.

"Begin" I whispered.

With that, four of the turrets stepped forward as the windows swung out, revealing the huge form of a giant turret in the gardens.

And then, they began.

I jumped off the stage and walked to Amy, who was just staring.

"Care to dance?" I asked, holding my hand out for her.