Pipsqueak

by thisnameisironic

V - Getting There

Pip woke up with a start. He checked his surroundings. He was still in his room, still in his bed, which means he was still at sea. He looked down under the covers and saw a dark wet puddle resting underneath his waist. Well, at least this time he would have a reasonable excuse as to why he wet the bed. He got out from under the covers and sat on the edge of his bed.
When it comes down to it, everybody puts themself above all.
What was that supposed to mean? What was Luna trying to tell him...if it was Luna?

He took off his clothes and went to his bath to shower. As he adjusted the temperature, a thick wall-like steam surrounded the perimeter of the bath and rose just high enough to cover up to his waist, hiding his unmentionables. That was one plus that Luna added after Featherweight's intrusion: actual privacy. Granted that previously every Lunar Crusader was a boy, now that a girl was among the ranks, Pip was even more self conscious about his privacy than before, to the point of embarrassment if even one pirate saw him naked while he was bathing. Luna said she had her own shower (to which she thanked her) but even then she could barge in and see Pip's barely scrawny body standing in front of her. He would have to adapt (as she would have to), but right now it was his request for even a little bit of privacy.
Pip always took long showers. He wasn't even sure why either. If he wanted to, he could probably finish shampooing his hair and soaping the rest of his body in the span of five minutes give or take. Instead he spent most of his time pondering...well, everything. Among topics were where to sail to next, the fastest route to find treasure, and as all boys learn how to do at his age, work on his aim in the shower. Working on it since he set sail, he's mastered the art, and it still feels good to relieve. That seemed to be the only way to urinate in the bath without Luna noticing. Of course, he could be using it to fill his waste bombs, but Rumble did it too, whom even encouraged Featherweight to work on his own aim likewise each morning. Of course, Dinky would be different, but in her cell, he figured she got it down. Nonetheless, he cringed at the idea of how a girl could and would pee.

While originally he was going to set his sights on Baltimare to the north, Pipsqueak couldn't stop thinking about his nightmare. Could that really happen? A giant skinless monster -- a titan -- rampaging loose and eating his mom? Maybe the nightmare wasn't so much supposed to be about that detail, but rather the message at the end that was engraved into his skull.
'You abandoned your own mother?' What was that voice talking about?
There was a knock on his door, startling him, followed by a shout.
"Permission to come in, Captain?"
Realizing that it was Rumble, his panic subsided and he answered.
"I'm showering, but since you're a boy, yes."
Rumble entered and closed the door, covering his eyes out of respect.
"It's okay," Pip assured. "You can look."
He did so and chuckled.
"You're spoiled," he reminded. "Featherweight and I have to share a shower."
Pip chuckled back. "At least your shower is big and perfect for aiming. Oh yeah, how is Featherweight's training going?"
Rumble shrugged and hinted a smile. "He's having trouble. He's nervous to hold his aim, and he keeps peeing all over his leg like a dog."
Pip fell to the floor laughing. Rumble even let out a few chuckles until Pip could be seen again from the mist cover. "At least it was in the shower and not otherwise," he said, recovered.
Rumble wished to return the subject to the original.
"Captain, we're fifty kilometers from the SALCS," he stated.
"Awesome!" the captain cheered, running out of the privacy of the mist before stopping.
Rumble tried to hold in his laughter, but failed. Pip's waist was in the middle of washing and a ring of bubbles covered his waist and censored him perfectly. Pip blushed and scooted back to the privacy of the bath. Rumble eventually regained his composure, after Pip cleared his voice a few times.
"What do you want done about Dinky?" he asked.
Pip thought carefully.
"I'll take care of that," he decided.
Indifferent about the response, Rumble saluted before exiting the room.

The secret base, the Super Awesome Lunar Crusader Secretbase (Or SALCS, for short), lived up to its name. Made of brimstone, mythril, and magic, Princess Luna used the remains of an abandoned pirate hideout to create what every adolescent pirate wants: a castle to rule the seas from that came included with bed and bath, open showers, toilets (that was a huge deal considering their use of buckets at sea), training grounds (or, as landlubbers called it, a playground), and a sauna; despite common views, even young boys could use a steam room to relax occasionally. They would always visit whenever it was on the way to a destination and stay for a few days, because no doubt it felt good to sleep in real beds. Centered in the middle of a lagoon, it was the best spot to swim, and usually the only place they could. After all, adults would complain about a group of boys skinny dipping by the harbor, and adults were annoying. Of course, their little base still had its share of regulations that all boys agreed they must follow, each topic written on a piece of paper, with as best handwriting as possible. For example, on a waterproof note at any set of showers:

Obviously, these rules were made when Pip and Rumble were just starting off their pirate adventures three years ago, when their spelling and grammar were still terrible. They would have to be changed and updated, especially with Dinky joining the party. Hopefully, Luna made a few additions to SALCS since.

Pip turned off the shower as the steam started to fade away. He went to his dresser and got out a fresh uniform, today a replication of the costume he wore for his first Nightmare Night, the first time he met Luna. He had good memories from back then, and thus heralded something seemingly unimportant with high regard as a result. He sniffed it before putting it on. Freshly cleaned and yet still smelled of sea salt. That's the pirate's life, and Luna knew it. He loved the scent.
Just finished with pulling up his dark brown cargo shorts, he exited the room and made his way toward Dinky's.

It took awhile, but Dinky was finally able to sleep. Talking with Pipsqueak made her feel a lot better about this whole leaving-her-family-and-friends-for-the-sake-of-adventure thing. It felt nice...until it was interrupted by her door being kicked open and adolescent shouting.
"Wake up!" shouted Pipsqueak as he rushed to her bed.
Dinky groaned. The sun wasn't even out yet.
"Is that how you reply to your Captain?" he questioned before taking her covers off. "What if something happens and we get shipwrecked? What if there's a sea monster?"
Sea monster?
Oh no.

Dinky jumped out of her bed, resulting in them knocking noggin-to-noggin.
"OW!" Pip screamed as he fell to the floor. Dinky held her own head in response. Nothing said "Good morning!" more like a head-on collision, literally. Dinky felt dizzy, but not concussion-worthy. If anything, that was a relief. She looked to her captain to apologize, but stopped at something. His face was red, and occasionally made noises like...sobbing? Was he crying?
"Captain, I didn't mean to!" she blurted.
"Yes you did!" he screamed, tears streaming down his face. "You did because I scared you!"
Dinky thought for a second. Crying doesn't seem very pirate-like. Then again, both of them weren't even old enough to be called teenagers yet, so she could give him some slack. She tried to think back to when her mom told her how to babysit her younger cousin while her aunt was visiting. Would those work on older children, or even boys? Ultimately, it was worth a shot. She hugged him (which caught him by surprise), rested her head on his shoulders, and spoke in a soft tone.
"It was an accident, Pipsqueak," she reassured. "I promise."
"Wha...What are you doing?!" his tone turning from hostility to confusion.
"It was an accident. I'm sorry."
Pipsqueak pushed her back to look at her. She didn't know if she was honestly trying to apologize, or just offend him, but somehow it felt good to him.
"Um...It's my fault," he admitted.
"Yes, but I hurt you nonetheless," she replied. Pipsqueak wiped his leftover tears and snot on his sleeve. Aside from his red eyes and face, she looked like he was back to normal.

"Um...we're landing in 30 minutes," Pip announced, his voice still shaky from his recent sobbing.
"Where?" she asked. Pip attempted a laugh in response through his shaky voice. It was relieving to see him in good spirits again.
"The best, coolest, awesomest pirate base ever!"
Dinky just tilted her head. Pip sighed.
"The Super Awesome Lunar Crusader Secretbase? SALCS?"
Dinky stayed unmoved. Pip sighed a second time, louder and more apparent.
"You'll find out. Luna gets to show you around. She even updated the bathrooms and showers and everything so girls could use them."
Dinky looked toward her screened bath in the corner.
"I need to shower."
Pip chuckled.
"Fine, fine," he said. "I guess you won't be peeing in it though." Dinky cringed in disgust.
"That's disgusting!" she screamed. "I most certainly am not! If I need to use the bathroom, I'll be using the toilet!"
"If you insist..." Pip said with a grin before leaving. Dinky stared at him as he was leaving.
"Peeing in the shower..." she muttered. "Boys, I swear..."

Pipsqueak went out to the deck, previously after drying off his tears and mucus from his recent crying. How pathetic of him. Crying in front of another pirate, especially a girl? He's a damn pirate! He shouldn't act like a baby, lest he wants to be treated as one. He's eleven, not four! He's been sailing for three years, and not once has he cried!
That was one flaw Pipsqueak knew he would be dealing with for a while: refusing to act his age. He was a pirate, and as such, should be intimidating and adult-like. Instead, he was still of grade school age and faced his own immaturity in some of his worser moments. When he and Rumble got captured their first time at sea, he bawled until Luna was forced to break them out. Another time, during his first raid, he tripped and scraped his knee, asking for a bandage from the nervous citizens of the dock. Granted, it was fun to be a kid, but when it comes to life as a pirate, you need to be presentable. You had to make a statement, look inside yourself and say 'What am I willing to put up with today?'
He was a swashbuckler, not a toddler.

Forcing himself to change the subject, he looked onto the horizon, a dark gray structure in sight. Soon, he would be right at home at the SALCS. He could use the rest, considering the nightmares he's been having. He wondered if he was the only one having them, or at least, in any variety of weirdness. Opening the snack box, he took out a grape-flavored juice box and packet of fruit snacks. Pip loved apple juice, but serious matters called for a different flavor of fruit. After all, once he's there he would be eating real fruit, not these condensed drinks.
"The SALCS!" Featherweight called from the crow's nest. "It's...uh...ten minutes away!"
Pip measured the distance himself from his own level. They were too far away to be ten minutes to, yet the fortress (he thought the word sounded cooler than "castle") was in the naked eye. Gathering his own information, Pip relayed back to him.
"It's twenty minutes, not ten, but you're learning!" he shouted.
After an "Okay!" from his subordinate, he looked back out to see and took another suckling of his juice box. He would need to be plenty hydrated for the fun they were about to have; an entire...what day was it today? Thursday?...an entire weekend of swimming in Jolly Roger's Lagoon, mapping the Mare's next destination, and sitting in a hot tub butt naked as his shoulders would be massaged by a pair of spa beauties Luna called sirens. They are supposedly dangerous, but as they are under Luna's control, they wouldn't dare harm her own legion.

"Something wrong, Captain?" a voice from behind him asked. Pip turned around. Who else would it be but his best friend Rumble?
"N-No, Rumble," Pipsqueak stammered. "It's fine." His friend, however, showed no belief.
"Then why are your eyes red?" he asked. "I may be bigger than you, but I'm not dumb."
Pip submitted his defeat. "Okay...I was crying."
Rumble smirked. "You mean letting out liquid pride?" he corrected, triggering Pip to smile.
As much as it got in the way of "pirate maturity", Rumble was and always would be Pip's best friend. He was always there to help him when need be. Heck, a lot of Pip's "manhood" was channeled from his second-in-command. Since Rumble lived with his older brother rather than his parents, it was logical to presume that what Rumble taught Pip was exactly what his own brother taught him. If not for him, their deadliest artillery wouldn't exist. Even though Pip already had a sibling in the Royal Guard, Rumble was the truer brother to him and was responsible for being the only person Pip could tell secrets to.

As Rumble crouched to grab a juice box of his own, a cold wind breezed the deck, causing Pip to shiver. Could it be the first wind of winter? It's only October...wait, it's October already?! Pip suddenly felt the pounding of his heart, the acceleration of his breathing, and even his legs started to tremble. It was October: the month of Nightmare Moon.
Nightmare Night occurred on the last day of the month, always on a full moon. Children would traverse their neighborhood asking for candy, in which all must be offered to the spirit of Nightmare Moon. This was also when he first met Luna in person, and became a sort of accolade to her. He always liked Princess Luna and the lore that followed her and her military division. He remembered getting suspicious eyes in first grade for doing a project on the history of Nightmare Night, but he didn't care. The one thing he didn't like about Nightmare Night at that age, however, was Nightmare Moon herself. He would wet the bed after seeing her face, and the rhyme of the holiday didn't help.

He would still have nightmares about those rhymes, and for good reason; didn't all kids his age? However, what has become a fun, adrenaline-filled evening with a few cheap scares has become a living nightmare at sea. His peers in Trottingham and Ponyville had it easy; Nightmare Moon is much more threatening at sea than on land, especially to little pirates like himself. Ever since he left for sea, he'd been receiving...dreams. Dark dreams that his own mind couldn't come up with; dreams that tested whether he was truly ready for the real world or not. These were the most frequent in October.
And yet even last night's dream couldn't compare to how his dreams have been in the past. This was not Nightmare Moon, he would think. It's something else. There he goes worrying about a dream that he's been telling himself to put off until he met with Luna, but noooo!

"Captain!" Rumble called. Pipsqueak snapped out of his trance. Was he spacing out that entire time?
"We've hit land. We're at the SALCS."
Pip took initiative as the full crew of three stood in line. He cleared his throat.
"We have arrived at the SALCS, also known as the Super Awesome Lunar Crusaders Secretbase."
Dinky was about to raise her hand but lowers it again.
"Dinky?" he asked.
"Where's the B?"
Pip looked in confusion. Dinky continued.
"It's the Super Awesome Lunar Crusader Secret Base, right? Shouldn't it be S-A-L-C-S-B?"
Pip's face turned to a scowl. "Yeah, well Secretbase is one word. It's easier to say than SALCS-Buh."
"But it's not!" Dinky complained.

Despite the early morning sun, lightning cracked onto the ship deck. A swirl of blue clouds descended from the skies, and Princess Luna appeared on deck. Instead of wearing her royal tiara and bib (Pip always called the thing around her neck a bib), she wore a red and white striped shirt, like he'd seen from lower ranking pirates of other ships, and a dark blue bandana over her hair. Behind her back, Pip made a motion toward Featherweight and Rumble to leave.
"And that would be our cue, Dinky," he said quickly as their peers ran off the boardwalk. "I hope you find yourself comfortable! Luna will show you around. I...uh...have to pee!" With that he fleed. Luna looked toward her accolade in a serious manner, but returned Dinky's irritation with a smile.
"Why does he have to announce whenever he has to pee?" she asked in a disgruntled fashion. "And can't he do it here on the ship?"
Luna simply grinned and answered with what was on both their minds.
"Boys will be boys."