//------------------------------//
// Diamond The Hypocrite 
// Story: Discord Vs. Diamond 
// by Discorded SheepcityUSA 
//------------------------------//

In an attempt to tame the horrendously atrocious beast that was Diamond’s mane, Silver Spoon was in her room with her, brushing her mane back into its regular fashion, while Diamond sat at her desk angrily drawing something with a crayon. Silver Spoon looked over her shoulder and noticed she had been using an obscene amount of red. She was going to question why…

Until she saw what Diamond was drawing.

“Ummm Diamond?” Silver Spoon asked.

“What?” 

“Any particular reason you’re drawing Discord getting mauled by a bear?”

Diamond’s grip on the crayon in her mouth tightened.

“You mean other than the fact that he’s the one who ruined my gorgeous mane?” Diamond retorted.

“Okay, so Discord’s a jerk. What else is new? Could you really expect anything more from a former evil God of Chaos?” Silver Spoon asked.

Diamond rolled her eyes.

“I guess not. But does he even realize who I am?! If Daddy found out Discord was treating his princess like this, he’d-“

Silver Spoon raised a hoof.

“Diamond, you’re looking at Discord as if he’s just a mean foalsitter. He’d probably just turn your dad into a duck if he wanted to. I hate to break it to you, but Discord is practically untouchable.” Silver Spoon explained.

The truth hit Diamond like a ton of bricks. This is one situation that her dad’s money can’t get her out of. She was stuck with Discord until her dad returned in two days, and there was literally nothing she could do but take it and occasionally vent out her frustration.

“Oh dear Celestia. I’ll never make it.” Diamond mumbled, her pupils shrinking to the size of pinpricks.

Silver Spoon gently patted her friend’s shoulder.

“Just relax alright? Look, I’ll stay over here until Discord leaves and help you through this. At least then you don’t have to suffer alone.” Silver Spoon said, trying to reassure here. 

“…A-Alright. If Discord messes with one of us, he’s gonna have to face BOTH of us!” Diamond shouted.

All of a sudden, both Diamond and Silver Spoon heard the sound of Discord’s cackling laughter fill the room.

“Hehehehe. Oh don’t worry about that Diamond Tiara. Dealing with you AND your little minion won’t be any trouble on my part…don’t know if I can say the same for you though.” Discord laughed.

Then, the crude drawing of Discord getting eaten by a bear Diamond had been working on came to life and immediately started to scream and groan in fake pain.

“Augggh! Oooggh! Oh that hurts so terribly!...not. Really Diamond? Is it really appropriate for a filly to be drawing something so gruesome?” the scribbled Discord teased as he teleported out of the bear’s mouth. 

Diamond scowled intensely. 

“I thought you said you were going to leave me alone.” Diamond hissed.

Discord seemed to be a little more interested in his poorly drawn hand than this conversation.

“Oh silly filly, I simply told you to not get on my nerves. Nothing EVER said I couldn’t wear on yours.” Discord said as he snapped his talons, which made the scribbled bear come to life and shoot off the paper and tower over the two fillies, who were now holding onto each other as tightly as possible and were shaking while the bear snarled and growled with drool dripping from its gaping maw.

Just when it looked like the beast was going to chomp on these ponies, it halted…And immediately started to laugh in Discord’s voice. 

“Hahahahahaha! Look at yourselves! You were all “Oh no, it’s gonna eat us! Hilarious! You’re extra fun to tease Diamond Tiara!” it laughed. The bear then reached for a zipper at the top of his head and unzipped himself, revealing Discord in the flesh standing before the two of them as the scribbly bear suit fell to the ground.

“That was NOT funny you jerk!” Silver Spoon shouted.

“Yeah, what the heck Discord?! You almost gave me a heart attack! I thought I was going to be eaten!” Diamond yelled.

Discord folded up the suit, and threw it over his shoulder, and in a puff of pink smoke, it turned into a swarm of blue bats which flew into Silver Spoon’s face making her yell and scream as Discord laughed.

“Aaaaugh! Aaaaugh! Get em’ off! Get em’ off! There’re getting in my mane!” Silver screamed before they flew out of the door to Celestia knows where else in the large mansion, leaving a very annoyed and frizzy maned Silver Spoon, as well as a still quite angry Diamond Tiara.

“Stop it Discord! Trolling other ponies is NOT funny!” Diamond yelled.

That statement alone made Discord put on his best “You’ve got to be kidding me” face.

“…Oh yes, because you’re SOOOO much better. Tell me Diamond, does the insult “Blank Flank” mean anything to you?” Discord asked.

Diamond’s scowl hardened.

“That’s different! It’s only funny when it happens to somepony else!”

Discord facepawed.

“…No. I can’t even make fun of that. It’s too easy…” Discord groaned.

“Think what you want Discord, I really don’t care what a mixed freak like you thinks of me. Silver Spoon, let’s go to Sugarcube Corner and get some ice cream. I think I need some relief from this headache this loser is causing.” Diamond said.

“Yeah let’s go. I think I need an ice cream...and to be as far away from HIM as physically possible.” Silver Spoon said, trotting out the door of Diamond’s bedroom, leaving Discord by himself.

“Woooow. What a hypocrite. She gets on me about messing with ponies, but she does almost the EXACT SAME THING.” Discord huffed.

Discord then put a finger to his chin, thinking about what he could do next.

“Hmmm…Ooooh, I know JUST what to do.” Discord snickered as he floated to the window and saw Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon in the front yard, trotting to Sugarcube Corner.

“If I had to guess, they’re going to end up harassing whatever filly is unfortunate enough to cross their path, probably a blank flank…so what say they get a taste of their own medicine?” Discord asked nopony in particular as he snapped his lion fingers…