Stick of Truth: The Equestrian Chronicles
Chapter Four: Nature of the Game
Pre-Chapter Author's note: I'm sorry for the quality of the previous chapter. I hope the quality of this one and the following are better.
In the center of Ponyville, a small café was bursting with activity. It wasn’t crowded or full, nor was it a busy day. On the contrary that morning had been rather lackluster. The source of the activity was simply the presence of five mares. Five peculiar mares.
After bidding their farewells to Twilight and Spike on their vacation, the rest to the Elements of Harmony decided to eat brunch at a local café. It was a small café, comfortable with a relaxing environment. The lax occasion was filled with conversations of local gossip, plans they had, and other general small talk.
Pinkie Pie was in the middle of telling a joke when she froze. Never had she felt such a sensation like this one before. Her Pinkie Sense was going haywire and she was receiving mixed signals. Pinkie’s back was itching, her neck pinching, her nose twitching, her eyes winking, and the rest of her body was vibrating.
“Uh Pinkie,” said Rainbow Dash with concern, “You okay?”
A few moments later, Pinkie Pie stopped moving and returned back to a normal stance, well normal for her. “Evil is coming,” she said in a hoarse raspy voice, “And It’s going to be one big doozy.”
“Uh, are ya’ sure sugar cube?” asked Applejack. She knew better that when Pinkie was tingling it was best to listen. Her senses had yet to fail. “Are ya’ really sure that something is going to go down soon?”
Pinkie Pie did not answer and merely stared at the wall. She bag to jerk back and forth in violent motion. “It’s worse that I thought,” she said in a panic stricken voice as her mane began to deflate. “The dragons… the dragons… they are coming.”
Fluttershy squeaked and ducked underneath the table. “Dr-dragons?” she asked horror struck.
“Soon—the dragons are coming soon,” Pinkie replied in a weary voice. “The Dragonborn…a great threat looms in the horizon.”
“Uh do you think we should send a letter to Twilight?” asked Rainbow Dash feeling a bit nerved at what Pinkie was saying.
“Oh don’t be so ridiculous darling,” Rarity scoffed, “Twilight just went on vacation, a much needed vacation. Remember that incident with the noodles all over Ponyville?”
The rest of girls shuddered at the memory. They had agreed to never speak about the details of that incident. Rainbow Dash had devolved a fear of pasta from it.
“I’m sure that we can take on this threat without having to cut Twilight’s vacation short,” Rarity said in a calming tone. “I’m sure Pinkie is just joking, aren’t you?”
They glanced at the pink mare with questioning glances. Pinkie’s eyes were disoriented and her expression empty and out of focus. She remained like that for a couple of long grueling second before coming back to her senses and shaking her head vigorously. “That was weird,” she chimed in her normal cheerful voice. “Sorry about that, I kind of dozed back there… Hey what’s with the long faces?” she asked her friends that were now staring at her in disbelief.
“Pinkie, do ya’ have any idea what you was saying back there?” Applejack asked. “You were talking all spooky like about some great evil that’s a comin’.”
“Oh Applejack, why would I ever say something like that?” Pinkie asked nonchalantly as she returned to her normal coloration and her hair began to curl up to normal.
The other mares glanced at each other. A dense chill had taken hold of the ambiance. Yet Pinkie Pie continued to devour her food as if nothing strange had happened.
“Uh good one Pinkie,” said Rainbow with a feigned chuckle, “You almost got me there.”
“Dashie, why would I joke about something like that?” asked a confused Pinkie Pie. “I know I appreciate a good prank here and there but I’ll never do something like that.” The party mare began to feel her Pinkie Senses activate again. This time however it was familiar to her. “I have to go now,” she said before gulping down the remainder of her meal.
“What was it?” asked Applejack, “What did you feel this time.”
“Oh don’t worry Applejack,” Pinkie responded with a wide grin, “I have to throw a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party. It has to be four times as big since there are going to be four guests.” With that she left the café and began to merrily hop down the road while humming a jaunty tune.
The rest of the Elements of Harmony remained seated. They were silently thinking about what had just happened. The whole thing was unusual even by Pinkie Pie standards. Rainbow was confused, Fluttershy was scared at the thought of dragons, and Rarity remained skeptic yet concerned.
Applejack—dear Applejack, she was frightened out of her wits. She knew what Pinkie Pie had said was a reason for concern. It wasn’t the mention of dragons or about approaching evil that scared her. They had dealt with those things before. What frightened her was the ‘doozy’. The last time Pinkie felt an oncoming ‘doozy’, they were nearly eaten by a hydra. In the end, it wasn’t the hydra that was the big ‘doozy’ but Twilight starting to believe in Pinkie Sense.
“Well it’s been a nice having lunch with ya’ll girls, but there are chores to do back at the farm,” she said as she left.
Applejack trotted down the streets of Ponyville with no destination in mind. Pinkie’s cryptic message was burning deep in her mind. She was just being silly. Ponyville was no stranger to threats and disasters, especially after Twilight moved in. Pinkie Pie was just being Pinkie Pie, nothing to it. Even if there was some evil lurking out in the corner, she was sure that it was nothing they couldn’t take down.
Having calmed herself a bit, she headed towards Sweet Apple Acres. Truth be told, there wasn’t much to do at the moment. Harvest season was a month away and the weather team was doing a great job in providing rain. Usually during this period, the Apple family took opportunity in hosting family reunions and finishing the paperwork required to maintain the farm. Big Macintosh took charge of the paperwork, he was incredibly smart yet quiet stallion.
He had earned top grades during his school years and even earned a scholarship to a fancy university in Manehattan. Yet Big Mac tuned down the offer and decided to help out in the family farm. As much as Applejack and Granny Smith tried to change his mind, he refused. It was a trait common in the Apple family, they were a stubborn bunch.
Applejack decided to take a tour of the orchards. It was a relaxing walk. She became one with the trees; the earth was rich and wonderful underneath her hooves. Celestia’s sun was a warm blanket on a cool night. The air was crisp and rich, it was the pick-me-up she needed. Now feeling relaxed, she headed towards the section of Sweet Apple Acres that contained the clubhouse Apple Bloom and her friends hung out when they weren’t out causing mischief.
She arrived at the clubhouse and saw one of the strangest sights in her life. Scootaloo was reading, and even more surprising, she wasn’t even reading a school book. Between her hooves she had a large scroll of parchment that she was intensely studying. She had thick rimmed glasses and a small black round cap on her head. Scootaloo was muttering words in strange language.
“Hello Scootaloo,” she greeted the orange filly, “What you got there?”
“Oh hello Applejack,” greeted Scootaloo as she raised her head from the scroll. The glasses magnified the appearance of her eyes. “I’m just reading up on my kind. These old folks must have really liked to cuddle; they kept sleeping with each other. This one dude named Lot kept on cuddling with his daughter’s every night after his wife got stoned.”
Applejack quickly rushed towards the filly and yanked the scroll for her hooves. “What in tarnation are you reading?!” she asked. He glanced at the scroll but could not understand any of the contents. It was written in some strange scrip she had never seen. “What is this nonsense?” she asked as she held the scroll in her hooves trying to make sense out of it.
“That is the sacred text of my kind,” answered Scootaloo, “Or at least that’s what he said. He told me that in order to master the powers of the Jew I had to read this book scroll thingy.”
“But how can you even understand this gibberish?” asked Applejack,”It’s not even written in our language.”
Scootaloo merely shrugged, “I dunno, maybe it has something with being a Jew?”
Applejack shrugged and decided it was better no to question any further. “So where’s Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle?” she asked Scootaloo in an effort to change the subject.
“Oh they're out behind the clubhouse practicing,” Scootaloo replied.
“Practicing what?”
“Practicing their fighting skills,” the filly answered, “We’re playing a game of warriors and heroes. But Apple Bloom and Sweetie are having a bit of trouble getting the hang of their abilities. So the New Kid and Butters are helping them.”
“Who?”
“Oh there are two new friends we made in our dangerous ventures into the wild outskirts of Zaron.” Scootaloo answered. She stood high with her chest out and proud. “We are the brave warriors of Zaron, it is our duty and mission to help those in need. We seek adventure, glory, and the defeat the evil Drow Elves.”
Applejack felt a headache coming. Of course this had to be one of the crusaders’ games, which would explain why Scootaloo had taken up reading strange runes. But that didn’t’ explain why she appeared to be capable of understanding the contents of the strange scroll. Deciding it was best not to drive herself mad, she went to see the other crusaders.
They were gathered around the back of the clubhouse. On top of Sweetie Belle's head was an adorable scarlet magician’s hat with gold trimmings, its colors matched the crusader cape that she was wearing. She held a small twig that she was using like a wand.
Apple Bloom was next to her; on her head was the same black bandana that she wore at talent show a few years back. The skulls were fading from it and it was clear it hadn’t been worn for a while. On Apple Bloom’s right cheek was a black scar that was painted on. She held a small wooden sword and was ready to strike.
Across from the two girls was a strange young creature in a hood. He was held a small trowel and was in a defensive position. Between the stranger and the crusaders a funny looking monkey with a blond mane.
“Okay Apple Bloom, try again,” he said, “You almost had it last time.”
Apple Bloom tossed two apples into the air and quickly turned around to buck them while mid air. Her first kick was too quick and she missed the first apple. Her attempt at bucking the second apple also failed. She gave a look of disappointment at the two bruised apples in front of her. “GAH!” she screamed in frustration, “Why can’t I do it right?”
“Because your timing is all off,” Applejack blurted out. The crusaders and the boys turned around to face her. “Well howdy ya’ll,” she greeted the two strangers, “My name’s Applejack, I run Sweet Apple Acres with the family.”
“I’m Butters the Merciful and this is the New Kid” said Butters.
“Can’t say I’ve ever seen folks like ya’ll before but since Apple Bloom is okay with ya’ll then I’m fine with you two as well,” said Applejack with a warm smile. She held out her hoof and the New Kid returned with a firm handshake. “Nice firm grip you got, I like you already.”
New Friend Request
4. Applejack
The New Kid glanced up at the farm pony, she was a head taller than him, but he recognized an adult when he saw one. Well at least she seemed nice. She walked towards Apple Bloom and gave her a nuzzle much to her embarrassment.
“So little sis, the key to bucking apples is timing,” Applejack told her sister. “Not only do you have to know where to buck, but when to buck as well. Here, let me show ya’ll.”
She tossed two apples up into the air and turned around in an instant. She raised her rear legs into position, waiting for the apples to fall into the right height. Then she gave a mighty kick that made contact with its target. The apple was projected at with such force and speed that the New Kid did not have enough time to react.
*SPLAT!*
The apple collided with his head and burst into many chunks that were scattered all around the orchard. The New Kid was disoriented from the impact.
*SMACK!*
The second apple came zooming in and hit the New Kid in the gut. The New Kid fell down to his knees clutching his stomach. The pain was intense. It hurt; the apples had actually managed to hurt him.
Applejack rushed to the stunned thief, “Ya’ alright?” She looked down at him and saw a purple bruise where the apple had hit him on the head. “Ouch, that’s one nasty bruise but you’ll be fine. Tell me how much it hurts.”
The New Kid merely blinked and gave the farm pony no audible response. He quivered from the pain but said nothing to indicate what he was feeling.
“Don’t worry none I’ll get somethin’ to fix you up real nice,” said the panicked Applejack. She ran off towards the barn and was out of sights within seconds.
“Hey Douchebag, you alright?” asked Paladin Butters. “Common’, it’s just a bruise. It’s not like you got hit in the eye by a stupid ninja star or had liposuction performed on you. Now that fucking hurt a lot.”
The New Kid glanced a Butters as his hand began emit a blue aura as he activated his healing powers. The paladin began to pat him at the head. The effect was instant, the New Kid felt his headache go away and bruising began to fade. “There you go buddy, walk it off.” –He began to pat the New Kid where the second apple had hit him- “Just walk it off.”
The New Kid brushed Butters off and stood up. He glanced at Apple Bloom and with a smile pointed towards a small pile of apples and then to himself. He adjusted himself into a defensive position.
“You want me try that again?” asked the confused Apple Bloom. “Did my big sis hit you hard in the head or something?”
The New Kid shook his head. He reached into this inventory bag and pulled out a bottle of soda. He gave it to Apple Bloom and returned back to his defensive stance. Apple Bloom turned to Butters as he gave the explanation, “King Douchebag really wants for you to try that ability again. He gave you a power potion that restores your energy. Now try it one more time.”
Apple Bloom chugged down the bottle and gave a loud belch. Sweetie Belle gave a groan of disgust and the New Kid was impressed. That filly really knows how to burp. With renewed strength, Apple Bloom tossed two apples into the air and bucked. She missed the first one but managed to hit the second apple. It flung away towards the New Kid who managed to block the apple.
She groaned in frustration. Just as the fighter was about to voice her complaints, Applejack returned holding a large baskets with apple, apple fritter, apple tarts, bottles of apple juice, even and apple pie. She gave the basket to the New Kid. “Here you go, consider this here basket as an apology for bucking you into next week,” she said with a nervous smile.
The New Kid gave her a polite nod and gave the basket to Butters. Applejack gave a sigh of relief, “Well that’s good then, by accepting my apology basket you have agreed not to sue us.” With that crises averted, the farmer turned and trotted towards the barn, “It’s been nice meeting you two. I think I’ll go help Big Mac with the paperwork.”
“Well I think that’s enough training for now,” said Butters once Applejack was out of sight, “Maybe we should go into town and see if there any people with quest for us.”
♕----------♕
The northern part of Equestria is a cold and hostile place. Some viewed it as a frozen wilderness filled with vicious beasts and monsters. Others viewed it as the result of the ancient tribal days. The Frozen North was the product of the dreaded windigos that fed of the hatred and strife of the ancient tribes.
Regardless of your opinion of the Frozen North, there was one thing you couldn’t deny. The harsh cold and bitter winds was the least of your concerns. Even with safe places like the Crystal Empire, many knew that the rest of the wilderness was deathtrap.
There were hoards of frostwolves or even worse, dire frostwolves that called the place home. If that wasn’t enough, there were the enormous frost worms that would tear your anus apart in mere seconds. It was a harsh environment to live in, yet for generations the northern minotaur tribes had called this place home.
Greybeard the Elder was a wise and fierce minotaur. During his youth he ventured through the frozen wasteland for adventure and glory. Now he was the head elder of the his tribe. His office was filled with lost treasures he had recovered from the frozen ruins of ancient castles. His most prized position was hanging in the back his office, the hide of frost worm he had slain during his adventuring days.
Greybeard was interrupted from his thoughts when a knocking came from his office door. After he retired from his adventuring days he was elected as the leader his the small mountain village. “Come in,” he said with his deep soothing voice.
The door opened to reveal one of his most trusted aides. “Ah, Iron Will,” he said in deep calming voice. “It’s a pleasure to see you! Tell me, what news do you bring from the ponies?”
Iron Will entered the office holding a large stack of papers. “Elder Greybeard, the crystal ponies have agreed to trade with us, our relationships are improving,” he said. “But they have dismissed our warnings about the looming threats that are gathering out there in the Northern Half.”
Iron Will and Greybeard glanced outside the window. Out there in the horizon was a thick grey unnatural fog was looming. “I fear that this is only the beginning, Iron Will.” Greybeard said in a solemn voice. “A great evil is coming—we must prepare ourselves even if the ponies choose not heed our words.”
“Maybe they can be persuaded during the delegation at the Crystal Empire in two days,” Iron Will suggested.
“I hope you’re right Iron Will. I really hope you’re right.” Just then more knocking came from the Elder’s door. “Come in,” he said.
A rather lanky grey minotaur entered the room. He was panting like he had just run a marathon. “Great Elder, th-they have found him. He has arrived,” the messenger said in-between breaths. “The Prophecy...he has arrived.”
“Who has arrived?” Iron Will asked.
“The Albino One,” he gasped, “Our scouts have discovered an albino calf no far south from here.”
♕----------♕
Butters, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and the New Kid were walking down the streets of Ponyville. Scootaloo had decided to follow Applejack and help Big Macintosh with the accounting. The remaining four children decided to head towards the main park in search of quest to do. So far every adult they asked quickly walked the opposite direction. Surprisingly they were more frightened of the crusaders rather than the two mysterious strangers by their side.
They were walking around the park for nearly half an hour when Sweetie Belle groaned, “Uh, this is boring. Why isn’t there anypony that has a quest for us?”
“Cheer up Sweetie, I’m sure we’ll find one real quick,” Apple Bloom assured.
They tried for another ten minutes before giving up. Bored out of their minds they decided to leave the park and look somewhere else. When they were passing through a seemingly empty section of the park, they heard a muffled whimpers. They spotted a tall black tree, sitting beneath the dark shadows of its branches was a grey pegasus crying into her hooves. She had a blond mane and tail, on her flank was a cutie mark that consisted of bubbles.
“Ms. Derpy, why are you crying?” asked Apple Bloom as the approached her.
“Ruined, all ruined,” she replied while brushing away the tears from her eyes. “I’m ruined.” She then collapsed in further tears, burying herself into a fetal position.
The New Kid walled towards the lamenting pegasus and patted her on the head. He began to brush her mane with a hairbrush he snatched from an unsuspecting mare they came crossed in the park (he was a thief after all). It worked, Derpy began to calm down and stood up straight, “Thanks,” she said meekly, “I needed that.”
“Ms. Derpy what’s wrong?” asked Apple Bloom once the mailmare was calmed down.
“Well I was delivering some packages when all of a sudden I was hit by something hard,” she said. “Whatever hit me knocked me out of my balance but fortunately I didn’t lose any packages. So I went on my route. Once I finished with my route- I checked my list to find out I was missing five packages,” -she began to hyperventilate- “Oh I don’t know what to, I know that they are somewhere scattered around Ponyville but I have no idea where to look. My boss is already at his limits with me and if I finds out I screwed up one more time…I’ll… I’ll…I’ll be…” Derpy didn’t finish the sentence as she collapsed again; the dam of tears broke as she began to pour a waterfall of tears out of her lopsided eyes.
The New Kid began to pat her again and brush her mane. The mare gave a deep sigh of appreciation and calmed down. “Thanks again,” she said as she wiped her eyes.
“Don’t worry,” said Sweetie Belle, “We’ll help you find those missing packages!”
“You will?” asked Derpy with a teary smile. The New Kid gave her a reassuring nod and she grabbed him in a crushing hug. “Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank You!”
QUEST ADDED
"Special Delivery"
Find the missing packages: 0/5
♕----------♕
Kenny awoke to smell of dirt, grime, and rat droppings. He was lying in his bed, his filthy moldy bed. He was back in South Park. Kenny glanced at the broken window hanging at the wall and saw his reflection, he was no longer wearing his princess outfit but rather his familiar orange parka.
With a sight he went to his closed and pulled aside the dislocated door. There on the floor was cardboard box with his belongings. He opened it and saw his princess costume and even more importantly the medallion next to it. It was a gift from the Sony Corporation and gave Kenny the powers of a real Japanese Anime Princess.
“Purinsesu Kenī wa kita,” Kenny announced once she was in the princess costume with the medallion secure. Princess Kenny headed out toward Stark's Pond where the incident had taken place. When she arrived at the pond, she was surprised to see that it was empty.
All the other kids had dispersed to play their own games or to watch TV. Princess Kenny glanced around the deserted pond to see if she could find any clues on what had happened. Right below where the portal had appeared was a spark of flashing light.
She ran towards the spot and discovered that the light was coming from the emblem that Butters had been carrying. The princess held the smooth elaborate carved stone in her hands. It was pulsing, almost like it was alive. The light was still emanating from the cracks on its surface.
Princess Kenny held the emblem tightly. With a spark of her princess magic, a rainbow came storming out from the emblem. Soon another portal had appeared in front of her very eyes. Taking a deep breath, Princess Kenny stepped forward and vanished.
Unnoticed by her, there was a mysterious stranger glancing at the spot where she had vanished. “Dammit, I’m too late. She’s gone,” he muttered bitterly. He then took out his cell phone and spoke into it, “Boss this is Agent S. We have lost contact; I repeat we have lost contact. The portal is gone and the gatestone is gone as well...”
Once the whirls and blurs of colors had vanished, Princess Kenny was greeted by the majestic sight of Canterlot. Far down below her, she could make out the various architectures of the buildings and the splendor of the royal palace. It was one of the most magnificent sights she had ever seen.
*SPLAT!*
She had landed on top of piercing spire of a tall tower. The pain was so immense that Princess Kenny blacked out. Though she was prepared for it this time, it still hurt like hell.
♕----------♕
After their encounter with Derpy in the park, the children went forward to find the missing packages. “So do you have any idea where to look?” asked Butters.
“I dunno,” responded Apple Bloom “Well lets to the town square, maybe there’s some pony that seen one of the missing packages.
When they arrived there, the market was bursting with activity of midday shopping. Amidst the crowded marketplace was the sound of jaunty tune. The children followed the sound and came across an audience that was surrounding a small makeshift stage. Jimmy the Bard was engaged in playing the lute accompanied they Lyra who was playing the flute.
Jimmy began with a tranquil piece which Lyra accompanied with a soothing melody from her flute. The soothing rhythm enticed the audience as an aura of peace filled the area as all problems seemed to vanish. Jimmy began to speed up the tempo of the melody and began to build a crescendo. The peaceful feeling soon turned into one of joy as they began to dance to the merry tune.
The Bard was met with tremendous applause and cheers from the onlookers once his piece was done. “Wow! What a te-terrific audience,” he said to all the praise he was receiving.
“Well that’s all for now folks!” Lyra announced to the crowd gathered around. “But don’t worry,” she quickly added when the crowd gave a groan of disappointment, “Join us later tonight when we perform at Sugarcube Corner!”
Lyra waved the crowd goodbye with a wide grin and stepped off the stage. She then spotted the children and zoomed straight towards the New Kid and Butters. “WOW! More Elves!” she shouted in a high pitch squeal. “Well my name is Lyra Heartstrings and it a pleasure to meet you two.”
New Friend Request
5. Lyra Heartstrings
Her warm greeting however was not well received by Butters. “I am not a stinking elf,” protested the annoyed Butters, “I am a proud Human paladin and I’ll shall never stoop so low to call myself one of them!”
“Well fuck you too, But-Butt…Bu-B-Butthole.” Jimmy stuttered.
“Come at me you dirty elf,” retorted Butters and he brandished his hammer.
“Bring it on bi-bitch,” said the Bard as he pulled out his crossbow slingshot.
The two boys glared at each other, they stood still waiting for one to make the first move. “Hey don’t fight you two,” said an anxious Lyra. But her words were ignored by the Bard and the Paladin. She glanced at the New Kid, “You, can’t you do anything to stop them?” she pleaded.
The New Kid gave her a blank look and placed himself between the two boys. He reached into his pockets and pulled out the Stick of Truth. Butters and Jimmy immediately stopped with their bickering. “I believe that Do-Dou-Douchebag wants us to stop fighting,” said Jimmy when he saw the Stick.
“Very well, Douchebag has spoken,” said Butters, “Then so be it. We shall put our differences aside for now.”
With the fight stopped or at least postponed, the New Kid pocketed away the Stick. Lyra gave a sigh of relief, “That was some quick thinking Douchebag. I don’t know what you did but at least they stopped fighting. The last thing I want is a war between Humans and Elves breaking out in Ponyville. Speaking of which,” -she intently observed the New Kid- “Are you and elf or a human? I can’t tell the difference.”
Apple Bloom gasped, “Miss Lyra that’s racist!” she shouted.
“W-wait, I didn’t m-mean it like-like that!” stammer the embarrassed the Lyra. “You-you know what I mean…never mind. Just forget what I said.” After a moment’s pause, Lyra spoke again, “So what brings you here today?”
“We are on a quest to find the missing packages!” exclaimed and exited Sweetie Belle.
“But we don’t know where ta’ look,” continued Apple Bloom.
“Have you seen any around here?” finished Butters.
The New Kid just blinked.
“Well I saw some gray pegasus with a delivery bag a while ago,” answered Jimmy “Crashed into that t-tree over there. She kinda reminds me of Mr. D-De… Mr. Deeh—she reminded me of meeh… She re-reminded me of Mr. Derp.”
While the crusaders bid their farewells and promised to attend the performance later that day. The New Kid took this opportunity to sneak a couple of coins from the collection jar Jimmy had set in front of the makeshift stage. They head off towards the direction where Jimmy had pointed. Up there high in the tree branches was a long rectangular package.
Grabbing one of the bows the crusaders had improvised, he took a careful aim and knocked the packaged down. Hopefully it wasn’t fragile as it landed on the ground with a soft thud. His worries were brushed away as the package began to vibrate.
“Hey,” said Sweetie Belle as she picked up the vibrating package, “This thing is addressed to Rarity.”
Packages Found: 1/5
♕----------♕
It was cold, so damned cold. Stan was used to cold weather; after all he lived in a small quiet mountain town that was covered in snow most of the time. But this was a whole new experience. The bitter chill was biting his face and his balls were freezing. He continued to head towards the mountains in the distance. Maybe he could find some shelter or help there.
In the distance he could see various silhouettes of people. “Hey help!” he shouted out loud, “Over here!” The figures must had hear him since their shadow became clearer as they approached them.
When they were twenty yards away from him, Stan got a good glimpse of their appearance. They were part man and part bull. The bulky figures had horns on the side of their head and were armed with spears, swords, and axes.
“Just fucking great,” murmured Stan, “Of all people, it had to be either some stupid cult or PETA.”
“Greetings young albino calf,” said the elder minotaur. “Your coming had been foretold for many generations. We need your help, a great evil looms over the land and we believe that you can help persuade the ponies.”
Stan shivered when gust of icy wind made its presence known. “We can talk later,” said a minotaur armed with a great battle axe, “Let’s make haste and head back towards the village. The frostwolves are near and they are restless.”
“Come Albino One,” said the elder, “We shall give you shelter from these frozen lands.”
Stan was conflicted on whether to follow these freaks or not. “What makes you think I need your help?” he said and he brandished his mighty sword, “I am Stan the Ranger. I am a brave warrior and have faced many dangers in the past. Why shall I seek your help?”
“Your attire is not appropriate for this climate,” responded the elder, “You are cold and you bones are aching from the chills of this land. I can see it the way you wield your weapon.”
“Fine but before I make my choice I must you once question.”
“Go ahead Albino One.”
“Are you guys PETA or related to PETA?”
“I have no idea on what you ask,” responded the confused elder. “What is this Peta you speak of?”
That answered his question. Stan followed the minotaurs back to their village at the base of the mountains range. The structures of the quaint village were made out of stone and brick. A large bonfire was lit in the middle of the village and there was a group of around seven minotuars gathered around it.
Stan then realized that he had been stupid. He should have known that these cultists weren’t PETA. They had offered him shelter. PETA doesn’t care about people.
♕----------♕
After the New Kid heroically prevented the Battle of the Marketplace, the children went out to the outskirts of town in their quest to find the missing packages. They had arrived at the entrance of Whitetail Woods. It was a beautiful and peaceful place unlike the forest outside of South Park or the Everfree.
“Give it back!” squealed a high a high pitch voice.
“Come and get it shrimp,” retorted a deeper voice that was accompanied with vicious laughter.
Behind a pair of bushes was a small lilac unicorn filly with a blond mane and tail. Three brutish colts were teasing her. One of them was a dark blue pegasus, the other a grey earth pony, and the ringleader was green earth pony with a baseball cap. They were playing keep away with a package while mocking the filly.
“Stop that!” cried the filly, “Give me back the package, mommy needs it very much or she’ll lose her job.”
“I’m surprised that that retard even has a job,” said the snarled green ringleader. The other two colts gave a roar a cruel laughter. The filly was at the burst of tears.
“Why those no good colts,” Apple Bloom growled, “Why I oughta teach them a lesson for picking on poor Dinky like that.” But the New Kid and Butters was ahead of her.
“Hand over the package,” confronted Butters, “And I’ll make sure that you get hurt that badly.”
“Who are you?” asked the grey colt.
“We are the guys that going to kick your pasty butts that’s who,” replied Butter brandishing his mighty Hammer of Justice. “No one gets to bully in front of me and gets away from me… well except for maybe Grandma and the Grand Wizard.”
With that the battle had begun. The New Kid quickly pulled out a box of stink bombs flung the as hard as he could at the bullies. The bully colts turned a pale green, even the dark green one. They were all pissed off.
“Phew, glad we aren’t the ones fighting them,” commented Apple Bloom. She turned to see that Sweetie Belle was comforting Dinky, “Don’t worry Dinky, those nasty bullies will get what’s coming to them.”
A butterfly flew down to Butters, who let it land on his finger, smiling like some douche from San Francisco. He let it fly away, then got a determined look on his face.
“You think that’s bad,” said Butters to the bully colts, “You ain’t seen anything yet. Let’s see how you like dealing with ME!” He twirled his cape and vanished. Dark storm clouds began to form overhead as the sky darkened. Soon it was hard to see. Flashes of lightning began to strike down, illuminating the figure of Professor Chaos, who began to laugh maniacally.
The Professor spun his Wheel of Fate, but nothing happened. Instead chocolate rain began pouring down. The New Kid glanced up and saw that dark storm clouds were now pink… and made out of cotton candy? A flash of light and then the strangest creature that New Kid had ever seen appeared in front of him.
“Well, well what do we have here,” said the strange creature. His body consisted of body parts from different creatures almost like a chimera. “A noble paladin with a dark side, a bit two faced if you don’t ask? But I must admit it is rare to find a fellow compatriot that relishes in creating chaos.” The creature snapped his figures and was instantly dressed in a Russian Red Army uniform alongside Butters. “The name’s Discord, I'm the spirit of chaos and disharmony. Thought these days I’m mostly just the spirit of chaos working alongside harmony.”
“Now then, my dear professor,” Discord said in a heavily accented voice. “How about we go and spread some chaos?”
Professor Chaos glanced at Discord, “A tempting offer, but I am Professor Chaos. I wreak my own brand of havoc and destruction. I am the product of my environment, society has shunned me, but they shall pay. What has you to offer me? What hast you to offer me, Spirit of Chaos?”
“HEY!” screamed one of the bullies, “We’re having a fight here. Why don’t you to lover get a room or something?”
“You’re fortunate I don’t turn ponies into stone,” said Discord. With a flick of this claw, Discord had encased the bullies in frozen chunks of ice, “But you three really need to chill.” He then focused on Professor Chaos, “So how about it, shall we go out and make chaos?”
He hesitated. Professor Chaos didn’t know what to do. Realizing this, Discord snatched the New Kid and took the Stick of Truth from his pockets, “I’ll need this. Now, now, don’t you be thinking that I’m a thief like you.” He gave the New Kid a soapstone carving in his image. “Use this to summon me, cross the gaps between the worlds, and engage in jolly cooperation. It will only work once a day and I won’t help you with bosses, because bosses are no fun to fight with ultimate help.”
Summon Unlocked
Soapstone Carving
“Now then I have the Stick,” said Discord, “Let me spice the game up a bit. Professor Chaos, you don’t have a choice now. Let’s go spread chaos and I know exactly where to start.” Discord and Professor Chaos had vanished with a flash of bright light.
Apple Bloom was now standing on the place where Butters was at. The New Kid turned around and saw that Scootaloo was now standing in the rear besides Dinky. The look on her face confirmed that she was confused like the rest of them.
*SMACK!*
While he was distracted glancing at the Crusaders, the New Kid did not noticed that the bullies had been unfrozen with Discords disappearance. They were still pissed off. The pegasus colt rammed himself straight at the new kid, knocking him off balance and slamming it into the ground.
When he stood up, the New Kid was then bucked straight at the chest by the gray earth pony. Fortunately this time he managed to keep his balance and maintained his standing position. He managed to block the blows from the dark green colt.
With his body aching and needing regain his sense of balance, the New Kid was incapacitated for this turn. It was now up to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.
Apple Bloom stepped forward with her wooden sword and swung it too soon, she barely managed to scratch the pegasus colt. Sweetie Belle didn’t do much better as she swung her wand too late and just gave the grey earth pony a light tap.
The bullies roared with laughter at the girl’s pathetic attempt in their first turn. Scootaloo grumbled something about how she would have knock out the teeth of at least one of them. The taunts from the bullies worked as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle let their defenses down.
The pegasus colt rushed into Apple Bloom, but she was prepared and blocked the majority of the attack. The grey colt picked up a large rock and flung it at Sweetie Belle as hard as he could. Sweetie Belle hopped to the side and the rock missed her.
The New Kid resisted most of the blows from the green ringleader but was left at low health. He couldn’t last another round of incoming attacks. Normally he would rely on Butters healing abilities at times like these. The crusader combat levels didn’t reassure him much, at this rate they wouldn’t last long. He had to end this as quickly as he could.
He drank his last speed potion in his inventory and smashed the cup into bits. The bullies were baffled when they was the New Kid disappear with puff of smoke. “Hey, where did that hairless ape go?” asked the grey earth pony.
*CLUNK!*
The blue pegasus colt was knocked out and lying at the ground. The two remained bullies looked around for the New Kid. They briefly saw him standing in position next to the crusaders before he disappeared again with another puff of smoke. “Don’t think that move will work again!” roared the green colt. “We’re prepared for you this time.”
*SWOOSH!*
The green bully turned to see that his fellow earth pony had collapsed and was knocked out. Standing behind him was the New Kid holding a dagger. There was another flash of smoke and he vanished again. He turned and saw that the thief was back in his place next to Apple Bloom. His pockets filled with bits and trinkets he looted from the bullies.
Apple Bloom followed the New Kid’s example and used her own ability. She tossed two apples into the air and bucked with all her might. The first apple went soaring through the air and smacked the bully right at the face. She had missed the second apple, but she was steadily improving at a better rate than Butters.
Sweetie Belle pulled out a firework from the crusader’s stash. The New Kid didn’t know why the Cutie Mark Crusaders had stash of high explosive fireworks and he really didn’t feel like asking. Sweetie Belle struggled with her horn to produce a spark to ignite the firework. After few attempts she flung the firework in rage with her magic.
When the firework landed in front of the bully it erupted into a spectacle of smoke and sparks of many colors. Some of the sparks landed on the mane of the bully and soon the smell of burnt hair began to fill the area. “You guys are crazy!” roared the earth pony, “C’mon guys let’s get the buck out of here!” The other two didn’t need to be told twice, the sprung up and ran away as fast as they could.
“Woah,” Apple Blooms gasped as she was glowing with a golden light alongside Sweetie Belle. “I feel stronger than before for some reason.”
Before the New Kid could respond, he was met with a tight embrace. After chasing away the mean bullies, Dinky rushed towards him with gratitude, “Thank you for dealing with those bullies. Now mommy won’t lose her job.”
“Hey!” said an irritated Apple Bloom, “We helped too.”
Packages Found: 2/5
New Friend Request
6. Dinky Doo