The terrible blizzard had come at last. It was completely out of control. The weather team had tried to stop it, but it was just too fast.
The blizzard had rolled in from the Everfree forest and was now heading straight for Ponyville. The ponies had only time to make mediocre defences against the ravaging winds and pelting snow. The hasty defences held for a while, but the ravaging winds and raging snows were just too much.
Even the unicorn’s magic could not stop the inexplicable phenomenon. Speaking of which, Twilight Sparkle was feverishly searching her library for a book to explain what was happening. The other ponies, Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were all barricading windows, closing doors and (in Fluttershy’s case) hiding under tables.
Spike had been woken amongst all the panic from his dreams of ice cream, Rarity, precious stones, Rarity and precious stones made to look like Rarity and was helping Twilight find the book. He was also using all the books Twilight had thrown around as a weight against the door.
Some of those books were REALLY heavy. But still, the winds kept lashing through the pages of the books to creep up the spines of all ponies present.
I had just shut the door to my house. My keys felt colder than ice in my pocket as I waded through the deep snow on the street. The concrete had been iced over by the cold Canadian winter, and the snow didn’t do much to help either.
The snow was so deep, even the city’s great snow ploughs had become bogged. I chuckled at the irony of it all.
I had to readjust my hood to keep it from blowing off. The icy winds did nothing to help me. All I wanted was a nice warm cup of soup! I didn’t care if it came in a packet or a tin! I just wanted some soup!
The terrible, ghastly cold ripped through the air, and pierced my jacket. The snow bounced harmlessly off my sleeves, but the wind, that terrible, roaring wind! It chilled to the bone and ran through my brain! I began to feel woozy, and this allowed enough space for the wind to seek its chance and knock me into a snowdrift.
Brushing the sleet from my jacket, I walked on into the blizzard, with a vague knowledge of where I was going. Then my world started to change. Streetlights shifted into trees, buildings faded into stone and the ground gave way to rock hard icy soil. I never noticed any of this. The blizzard was clouding my thoughts and vision. It was the only thing that stayed the same. I had only one desire. Soup. Unfortunately, the blizzard was cruel.
Far above me, a large rock tilted perilously on a peak. It fell, and with deadly accuracy, hit my skull with a sickening crack.
A large bear was just coming back to its cave. She had just finished hunting for her cub, and the salmon was still hanging limp from her mouth when she saw the…THING in front of her cave.
She sniffed at the thing and nudged it gently. It was dead. She threw the salmon to her cub and went to inspect the strange creature. It appeared to have a silky coat, but not of fur, scales or hide like anything she had ever seen! The only hair it had was a long, coarse tuft on the top of its head that hung down to its shoulders.
The thing had weird claws at the end of its long arms, and it appeared to have hooves, but yet, they were flexible, almost springy. The bear sniffed at it again, and saw a large rock nearby. The bear looked up, and saw a very familiar rock missing from the archway of her cave.
That thing, whatever it was, was dead now. The bear turned around and lumbered into its cave, satisfied that the creature would not attack its cub.
The storm had finally passed. The weather teams from all across Equestria had come in an emergency rush to aid in removing the storm. Princess Celestia herself even came to oversee the blizzard removal. If they hadn’t done anything quickly, the storm could have raged on for months. Maybe YEARS!
Twilight and her friends were surveying the damage. After walking around for a moment, they came upon Lyra and Bon-Bon’s home. Lyra waved as Bon-Bon continued with the repairs.
“Hi Twilight!” Lyra said “Fierce storm huh?”
“I’m just glad nopony was hurt.” Twilight said, genuinely relived. There were many bumps, cuts and bruises, but nothing major or lethal. Those that did suffer mild injuries were being tended to by the hospital ponies.
“That’s true. I hope we can get all this snow cleared up soon. Kinda weird how a snowstorm blows in from the Everfree forest in the middle of Spring isn’t it?”
“Sure is. I don’t quite think that we can blame it on Windegoes either.” Twilight chuckled “We were heading over to Fluttershy’s cottage to survey the damage. Do you think you can help?”
“Sure!” Lyra said. Bon-Bon was struggling with a large 2x4 as she witnessed her roommate run off with the other ponies.
“Not busy at all eh?”
FLuttershy’s cottage was wrecked. Windows had been smashed in, furniture had been turned over, and an entire wall had been broken down by the sheer strength of the howling winds.
Fluttershy’s cottage was right near the Everfree forest, so it bore the full brunt of the storm. Twilight had begun drawing up a plan, and soon enough, everypony got to work. Even Rarity, after dressing in her “fabulositised builder’s dress” began sawing and hammering away at the old cottage.
It had been over three days since construction had started, and they were still struggling refurbishing the living room.
“Maybe it’s because SOMEPONY lost the schematics while fixing her diamond encrusted tool belt!” Rainbow Dash pointed accusingly at a horrified Rarity
“How DARE you! Fashion must always come first in any situation!”
“Ah hate to disagree with ya sugarcube, but bein’ practical is the best thing.” Applejack tried to interject
“HA! You see Rarity, Applejack agrees with me!”
“What? Rainbow, stop draggin’ me inter yer fights.”
“I am not fighting!”
Twilight was sick to the teeth with it. Plus, she hadn’t gone to the bathroom in over three hours!
Since repairs on the bathroom had been postponed, Twilight decided that she would sneak off behind a tree to relive herself. Passing by the dust cloud that was thrown up between the fight between Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Pinkie Pie (somehow) she wandered off behind the trees.
She thought she should get a good distance before reliving herself. If you can’t see them, doesn’t mean they can’t see you. She looked back to see that she was a good distance away.
Satisfied, she turned around to do her business. She stared at the human corpse for a good five minutes. On the bright side, she didn’t need to go to the toilet anymore.
Fluttershy was the first pony to hear Twilight’s screams. After trying to stop the fight, she fell back on utilizing a certain Minotaur’s tactics.
After getting the other ponies back in line she told them about Twilight. Fearing for their friend, they raced out to the forest to find her.
It wasn’t all that hard. The screams of abject terror gave it away. After discovering Twilight in the foetal position, the ponies stared at the corpse in front of them. It was face down in the deep snow.
“I think this…THING might have died from a concussion.” Rainbow Dash explained, breaking the silence “The position of the body explains that it was an accident, and the projectile, probably a rock of some kind, fell from a great height in order to smash the skull.”
The other ponies starred at Rainbow Dash in utter disbelief, creating yet another awkward pause.
“Okay, I’ve been reading a lot of crime novels. I can’t help it!” Rainbow said, hunching her shoulders slightly.
Lyra was amazingly fascinated by the creature however. She gently nuzzled the thing’s claws and moved them one by one, gently rolling them about to see how it all worked.
“Well, I have no idea what this thing is, or how it got here, but it needs closer study.” Twilight said “I need to write a letter to the princess right away. SPIKE!!!”
“Yes Twilight?” Spike said, puffing as if having finished running a marathon
“Get this down. It’s an emergency letter to the princess. We need her top scientists right away.”
Twilight and Spike walked off to wait for the princess or her scientists to arrive.
Death. It’s not as interesting, or as boring as everyone thinks. There’s just…Nothing. Some may call this the very essence of boring, but for something to be boring, it must be something first. But there was Nothing. Just a white, empty void.
I could hear footsteps. They clicked as if someone was wearing tap shoes.
Suddenly the whiteness had disappeared. I was now in an office. Not any kind of weird office with skulls and cobwebs, but a rather normal looking office. Save for a skeleton with piercing white eyes staring into your very soul sitting in the chair behind the desk wearing a steel grey suit that looked worth its weight in souls and a tie as black as any abyss. If he had any hair, it would almost certainly be slicked back.
“Ah, good to see you Andrew.” Death said. Death himself was a seemingly pleasant person. I tried to speak, but I couldn’t say a word. Even if I could, I doubt anything would come out besides a frightened whimper.
“Well well well. You’ve had quite the busy afternoon.” Death leaned back into his leather armchair, sliding his fingers together with the sound of an abacus. He lifted a hand into the air and snapped his fingers, a rather impressive feat, and appeared an old and yellowed folder, bound with leather cord.
“I’ve reviewed your file, and it seems that you’re cleared for the afterlife.” Death then took on a deadly serious tone “The trouble is, which afterlife do you belong to?”
Death stood and then slowly paced around the room. “The thing is Andrew, you’ve been stirring up quite a lot of trouble for me. If word gets out you’ve crossed dimensions, my boss is going to fire me for sure. I know it’s not in my department, but since you DIED over there, it’s become my business. And dimension hopping is a very serious business.”
“A lot of humans don’t know this but human souls have a warranty. It allows you to be entered into the afterlife, no questions asked. IF you can keep the warranty intact that is. The warranty can be considered null and void if you partake in any crime involving murder, theft, arson or any form of violence OR tear the fabric of space and time either accidentally or intentionally. This warranty can be refreshed by joining any religion, and basically becoming a zealot.”
“But to get back on track, since you’ve entered another dimension, this can consider you warranty void, yes? Not exactly. You see, you managed to enter the other dimension without causing reality to fold itself into a paper aeroplane. Believe me, it’s happened before. Want to know how the dinosaurs ACTUALLY died? It took me fifty thousand years to clean up that mess. So now, we want to know how you got to that other universe.”
The office had changed again. I was being led by Death down a hallway to a laboratory. All they wanted was some tests. Shouldn’t be that bad.
Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie and Lyra were in a laboratory, examining the dead human.
One of the inspectors trotted around him, occasionally prodding and poking him, or using her magic to lift his head or limbs. She opened the human’s mouth and manoeuvred the overhead light to shine in his mouth.
“Judging by the teeth, I’d say his species was omnivorous.” The nurse said. A pony on the foot of the bed scribbled onto the notepad. They had found out his gender the hard way.
“The legs are a lot stronger than the arms, so it hints at him being bi-pedal, but he has no tail to balance him. Inconclusive.”
The nurse had found Rainbow Dash’s theory of how he perished to be perfectly valid, as did the forensics team. They said if Rainbow Dash ever wanted to join, she should send a letter.
The skull was shattered at the point of impact, but the rest of the body was fine. The nurse had used her magic to knit the bones back into place, but it would still have to take time to strengthen again.
Twilight decided her talents would be best suited to combing through books, so she teleported herself into the palace library. She scoured every possible surface for anything on the strange creatures, but nothing on the strange, possible bi-pedal creatures. Mythical Mysteries, Weird Wanderers: A Collection of Odd Migratory Creatures, Magical Monstrosities…
No book Twilight read through had ANYHING on any form of bipedal creature.
Exasperated, Twilight teleported back to the research wing to see the nurse rifling through his pockets. The nurse pulled out a small package of what looked like… LEATHER! Rarity held her hoof in front of her mouth when she saw this, as did a lot of the other ponies. The nurse carefully examined a small piece of paper inside the leather bag and she breathed a sigh of relief.
“The bag is made of faux leather. These creatures, whatever they are, appear to have a form of currency. Sheets of green paper and silver coins. Small cards of cardboard, but also of something else.” She said, taking out a credit card and examining it closely. “This requires molecular examination. Applejack, could you please take this to the lab?”
“Uh, sure, I guess…” Applejack said as she took the card in her mouth and trotted off to the laboratory. The examination of the corpse continued.
Bhudda. I was speaking to FREAKING BHUDDA! The tests conducted concluded that there was nothing special about me, and that I was cleared for the afterlife. Death was just about to send me on my way when he got a page. It seemed my afterlife had been overridden by higher authority for a reincarnation!
So I had been ushered down another corridor to the Department of Reincarnations. The head of the department just happened to be Bhudda himself!
“Well, it seems you have been due for a reincarnation.” Bhudda said, setting down the paperwork on his nick-knack encrusted desk. Bonsai trees, gongs, crystals and even a miniature waterfall in the corner covered the office in a sense of calm and serenity. Even Death was at peace here. “But it appears to be in another realm than your own!”
“I know this seems unconventional Bhudda, but these orders come right from the top.” Death explained. Budda sighed deeply.
“Well, if it’s a direct order, there’s nothing I can do about it. Here.” He said, handing me a passport. “This will allow your soul to enter back into your old body.” I took the passport in my hand and the office began to spin. I felt a sharp pain in my head that faded to a dull throbbing. Eventually, everything went black.
The ponies had found out everything they possibly could by checking his outer person. Nothing more could be done. To find out more about his anatomy, the princess herself had ordered a complete autopsy. None of them noticed, but subtle forms of life began to return to the motionless corpse as they prepared the tools.
I woke with a start. Bright light. Antiseptic smell. Scalpel. Operating masks. I knew where I was. I let out a piercing scream, and the surgeons reeled back in surprise
I swung my legs over the operating table and tried to make a break for it. The door burst open and I spilled out into the corridor. I could hear the surgeons running after me as I sprinted down the corridor. It was strange. There seemed to be more footfalls than there were surgeons.
I had to keep running. More importantly, I had to find some clothes. I ducked into a supply closet and waited for the surgeons to pass. I tried to find something to cover myself, but there was nothing in the closet that could fit me, or anyone for that matter. I couldn’t run around in my underwear forever! He needed to find his clothes.
Peeking out into the corridor, I saw nothing coming or going, so I made a run for it. I traced my steps back to the operating theatre and saw my clothes lying neatly on a table. Hurrying them on, I looked for the nearest window.
‘You’re in an operating theatre dummy.’ I thought to myself angrily ‘There ARE no windows!’
I pushed open the door and looked around. Seeing nothing, I quickly searched for a window. I looked over and saw a giant stained glass image. That would work. I ran forward and leapt through, when all too late, I realised that I was on the second floor.
Lyra was wandering around the courtyard. She had double checked every book Twilight found that might contain any reference to humans, but to no avail. Lyra heard a great crash from above.
She then saw the thing from before, alive and well, screaming his head off as he plummeted to meet Lyra. She tried to stop him with her magic, but he was just going too fast. The bipedal creature crashed into Lyra, knocking her to the ground. The collision knocked both human and pony unconscious.
Well, that was the first chapter. Did you like it? Hopefully I'll be able to write much more since the holidays are coming up, but still, even to me now, the wonourous land of Skyrim calls to me... I have to run. I have armor to smith and dragons to punch to death!