Fluttershy and Discord walked through the market area. Discord was enjoying his favourite flavour, furniture. The local hardware store didn’t need those chairs anyway.
“Oh, it is so nice you’re here Discord,” chirped Fluttershy happily. Discord gave her a half-hearted look. “The annual bi-terminal lunar market celebration is such a wonderful time of the year.” Fluttershy gave a wistful sigh before humming a slight tune under her breath. Discord belched. Sentimentality had never really been in his nature.
“How many market celebrations can this town have?” quipped Discord. He summoned a calendar featuring various pictures of him in various poses. He flicked through it clearly showing various days marked in red. “There is like one every week.” The calendar burst into flames. Discord shrugged. His ice cream followed suit, though this didn’t seem to deter Discord from continuing to lick it. Fluttershy just pretended it wasn’t there. She had learned that sometimes, it just wasn’t worth asking questions when it came to Discord.
“Well, it still nice to have you here,” said Fluttershy completely disregarding his statement. “I was worried for a while. I hadn’t gotten a letter from you in a few days. What happened?” Fluttershy looked up at him with those wide, cute eyes of her. Discord frowned. She was far too adorable for his liking.
“Oh, that. He swirled his claw around in a circular motion absentmindedly, producing bubbles with hats on them. “I was just dealing with a bunch a gaseous entity life forms that live on the edge of the universe, that have a grudge against me, nothing big,” sighed Discord had attempted to take another bite of his ice cream only to have found ashes in their place. Discord opened a portal and threw the cone in. Good thing Trixie had got that new apartment or Discord would have nowhere to dispose of his rubbish readily.
“Well that’s uh…nice.”
“Indeed. Discord frowned. He felt rather empty without his ice cream. Poor Alfie was in his prime. Such a waste. Moving away from his regrets about his lost ice cream, he then realised how ridiculous he looked wandering around a market with the yellow Pegasus. “Why exactly am I here? Standing around and looking at a bunch of frankly useless stalls? I mean who in the right mind buys stamps anymore?” exclaimed Discord rather loudly in front of the stamp stall.
In response, the stamp collector had quite a few things to ‘say’ to Discord. Luckily Fluttershy intervened and issued a stream of apologies as she pushed Discord away. Apparently the stallion was upset that Discord had insulted his life’s work or something along those lines. ‘Not much of a life if all you can show off are bunch of useless pieces of paper, that would go much better in a pastrami, cucumber and ravioli sandwich,' thought Discord as he licked his lips. He looked down at his companion who looked quite upset at something. He also noticed that she appeared to be directing her ire at him. ‘Oh, Fluttershy’s saying something. Best pay attention in case she gets mad at me for not listening.’
“And furthermore Mister, this isn’t useless junk. Some of it is valuable property that is essential for Ponyville’s economy.” Fluttershy glared at Discord. Discord quickly pointed away and said.
“Then why is that stallion selling garbage?”
“Discord that’s mean!” Discord stood his ground despite the Pegasus deciding to get right up to his face. Discord had in the meantime summoned the sandwich he had imagined while definitely paying attention to her.
“No, he is actually selling garbage.” Discord pointed at a stallion bringing out black plastic bags and dumping them on the side of the street. Fluttershy’s expression relaxed.
“Discord he is just putting it out for collection.” Discord watched as the stallion drew over a metal bin and dropped the bag in. “In Ponyville our waste is collected by town workers.”
“Collection? In shiny, metal bins?" Discord scrunched his muzzle in confusion. “In my day, they just threw it out the window. What a waste.” Discord then proceeded to hypocritically drop the sandwich he had just thought of moments earlier, leaving its contents spill out onto the ground.
"That’s unsanitary," said Fluttershy as she frowned at the draconequus’s actions.
“Eh, things were fine said Discord as he waved his hand dismissively. “Ponies are far too obsessed with health nowadays. I mean, sure we had the occasional outbreak of plague but ponies were happier. And less pudgy," laughed Discord as he poked Fluttershy who blushed heavily. Fluttershy managed a weak chuckle.
"Oh, stop it you." Fluttershy carried her way on into the packed crowds of the market place.
“Yeah, joking,” said Discord unsurely as he shifted his eyes back and forth before following his companion. Luckily he easily found her due to the nice open path that a bunch of terrified ponies had decided to make for him. ‘Kids these days are so respectful to their elders. Quiet too. I only count two crying fillies this time.’ Discord smiled. ‘Today was a good day.’
Discord approached shook himself from thought to find that the buttercup mare had left his side. He soon found her deep in conversation with a mare with a grey mane with a tan coat.
“So can I count on your vote this week, Fluttershy?” spoke the mare.
“Why of course Mayor Mare, you’ve done such a wonderful job for the town since your election,” replied Fluttershy softly with a pleasant smile. The tan mare beamed at her response.
“Well thank you, it means a lot coming from you.” Fluttershy shifted her mane to hide her embarrassment from the praise. "It’s good to know I have you on my side. You take care Fluttershy. Don’t be afraid to visit if you need anything.” The mare began to walk away as Fluttershy uttered silent ‘your welcomes’ under her breath. The tan mare stopped as she felt a malevolent presence nearby only to find Discord instead. “Uh hello Discord,” she stated awkwardly.
She gave him a few cautionary glances. Discord causally popped his eyeballs out and wiped them off his fur. The mare grew visibly green at the sight and trotted off at a brisk pace to the nearest lavatory. Discord plugged his eyes back in and his face fell into disappointment.
“I wonder who that was. Never seen her before.”
“That’s Mayor Mare. And you did meet her before. Remember at your birthday party.” Discord shook his head.
“You put some mice in the cake and everypony panicked.” Discord stared blankly at the mare. “Remember the Duchess started screaming? Then you summoned all those snakes to scare the mice away.” Discord stared blankly ahead. “You don’t remember? What about when the bouncy castle blew away? Then the princess’s crashed into the bouncy castle when they tried to give out to you?” Discord looked more and more confused with each statement. “Nothing?” Discord remained silent. “At all?” Fluttershy sighed in exasperation before looking up at him one last time.
“You were wearing your blue sweater.”
“Ah, Mayor Mare, of course!” shouted Discord. Fluttershy shook her head. Something’s would never change.
“Election you say,” whispered Discord to himself. A terrible plot began to form in his mind though he put it off presently to focus on the matter at hoof.
“Actually speaking of the princess’s it’s strange how Twilight left without telling us.” Discord began to sweat nervously. “It so out of character for her.” Fluttershy put her hoof up to her mouth. “She usually gets all in a panic about these sort of things.”
“Yep, real the mystery we have there,” coughed Discord. “Oh, is it hot out here? Maybe we should head back home I mean we’ve been browsing for like fifty minutes and not bought anything. Almost as if we were needed to exposit what’s happening or something.”
“And she left poor Spike on his own, it must be really serious.” Fluttershy gasped suddenly. “What if she’s in trouble and needs our help? Oh, I’d feel terrible if we just abandoned her,” whimpered Fluttershy. “Maybe we should go visit her in Canterlot. I’ll go get Rainbow-”
“What?! God no, I mean that would unadvisable,” corrected Discord as he put a comforting claw on her shoulder. “She’s a princess we don’t know what kind of things she could be doing. What if she was doing a really important and you interrupted? Wouldn’t you feel terrible?” Discord had leaned down to Fluttershy’s level to emphasis his words.
“I never thought about it like,” whispered Fluttershy. “You’re right. But what about Spike?”
“He has temporarily been removed for plot convenience.”
“What?”
“Eh, I mean he’s a strong kid. He’ll make due on his own for a while. He’s probably at that white one's house. What’s her face? Variety.”
“Rarity. I suppose that makes sense but I just saw Rarity this evening and she didn’t say-”
“Look over there! Something else,” exclaimed Discord. He breathed a sigh of relief as the mare looked away.
“That’s just Applejacks cart and oh uh…B-big Mac,” sputtered Fluttershy. Her eyes followed the large stallion quite intently. His powerful frame moved the cart into position as he shook his mane to clear off a bit of sweat that had gathered on his brow. Fluttershy stood gaping. Discord being the ‘master of love’ was obviously completely oblivious to his friend’s interest.
“Yes, let us purchase some food commodities. That’s the perfect distraction. And by distraction, I insinuate my concern for your health. Just look at you your whittling away dear.” Discord began pushing the mare towards the cart.
“I d-don’t know maybe we should go home. I can just come to the market tomorrow.” Discord continued to push her. "I-I have plenty of food at home."
“Nonsense. We're particularly there already.” Before Fluttershy could protest anymore she found that they had suddenly arrived. Applejack had not noticed their approach and had trotted away leaving Fluttershy and Discord alone with Macintosh. Needless to say Fluttershy was quite embarrassed. So much so, that the ostrich technique of burying one’s head in the sand was becoming most appealing. Big Mac for his part was quite polite in not pointing out the awkward silence that had permeated since her arrival. Discord quickly slinked away as Fluttershy cleared her throat.
“H h-hi Big Mac.”
“Good evening Miss Fluttershy, here for some apples?” he asked in a slow country drawl of an accent. Fluttershy did not respond immediately and continued to stare rather haphazardly at the stallion.
"Uh, no, wait yes. Yes, I am here for some apples." Big Mac turned back to the car and placed some apples in a plastic bag which he put in his mouth.
"That’ll be three bits," he struggled to say. Fluttershy for a moment was tempted to grab the bag using her own mouth which would most likely have not gone down well. She settled on an outstretched hoof. He dropped the bag towards her hoof. She quickly rummaged through one of her bags and placed the amount of bits on the side of the cart. “You have a good day Miss Shy.”
"Y-you too," whispered Fluttershy. Fluttershy was about to bolt from the stall when suddenly Big Mac called for her again.
"I forgot to say Miss Shy mah sister was looking for you." Fluttershy turned around slowly to the stallion again. At this point, the poor mare was almost hyperventilating "Said she needed your help with something."
Meanwhile Discord watched his friend from within his viewing portal at a distance (because apparently he has that now). He smiled contently at his work.
“Now to check on how my little experiment is going with my dear friend Sparky.”
Pulling out a remote from thin air, Discord pressed a button and instantly the images of Twilight’s encounter with Luna appeared. Discord enjoyed the events with a bucket of pumpkin popcorn.
“Oh, this is just too perfect!” he roared as he dragged a nearby terrified pony to him. “Luna interested in Princess Starbutt hah! This going even better than expected. What do you think buddy?” He poked his newfound friend in the ribs.
“Gpplah!”
”You’re right of course. I’ll have to make my move soon. All of the princess's distracted leaves me with a window of opportunity. But when?” Discord tapped his chin. “No matter. Now I only have a few more things to do and Discord will be back up top and this time there will be no stop-”
“Sir, I hate to interrupt you but this is the line for the bank," stated a pony behind a glass screen. Discord looked around to find that there were several ponies huddled into a corner as far away from him as possible. Discord then look down at his newly acquired friend in his arms who he proceeded to drop. "Are you going to make a transaction or not?"
“Ah yes, the local bank Now I remember why I came here.” Discord managed to pull something from his pocket and presented it. “I wish to make a deposit.” The bank clerk looked down at the assortment of items Discord wished to deposit. A packet of ketchup, a piece of string, a picture of a young dragon flexing in a mirror while failing miserably at it, and a rock.
“Sir, I cannot take these. The bank accepts only recognised forms of credit.” The bank clerk then took a long look at Discord. “Also, I’m pretty sure you don’t even have an account with this bank, sir.”
“Well, excuse me,” harrumphed Discord. “I will just take my valuables elsewhere then.” He quickly scooped up the items. "But I’m taking this pen though." Discord quickly snatched the bank clerk’s pen lying on the counter and broke the metal beads tying it down to the table. “Now what are you going to write with?” There was a certain triumphant tone in Discord’s voice.
“The bank has plenty of pens,” said the clerk, clearly not amused by his actions.
“But not this one.” Discord waggled the pen in front of the clerk before sticking his tongue out and disappeared in a bright flash off to enact whatever dastardly plan he had next. The bank clerk and the patrons of the establishment stood around in bewilderment at what exactly just happened. Some were specifically focusing on the lit titbit about Luna and Twilight. There would most likely be some scandalous gossip in the morning.
The bank clerk looked where his pen had just been. He should have probably alerted the authorities about the spirits malevolent intentions. But then he look towards a calendar on his wall. A big marker had been placed around the weekend indicating his holidays were near. The bank clerk thought about it for a moment. Tell the proper authorities immediately and risk losing his holidays or ignore this whole thing, avoid getting caught up in another one of the towns crisis’s and enjoy two relaxing weeks on a sunny beach far from Equestria. With steely resolve,there was only one thing he could do.
“Next please!”