//------------------------------// // And Then There's Maud // Story: Baen of Equestria // by CrypticMetaphor //------------------------------// A massive series of knocking was heard within the Scratch residence, and unfortunately, only one pony was near enough to its source to register it. Baen’s eyes slowly opened as he sat up, his mane an absolute mess, and slowly opened the door. He blinked several times as Pinkie Pie knocked on his nose. The sleepy barbarian stared evenly at the pink mare as her knocking stopped. “Pinkie Pie,” he stated slowly, “Is there a reason that you woke me up this late at night?” Pinkie Pie was giddy as ever, “It’s because I need your help on a MASSIVE scale!” Baen’s stoic face broke as an eyebrow rose, “Really…” Pinkie nodded, “Ya huh! Come on down to Sugarcube Corner,” she then glanced around with suspicion, “tell nopony.” Baen just stared at Pinkie, “I am tired, mildly intrigued, and frightened by your proposition,” he backed up slightly, “So allow me to offer this up as a rebuttal.” The door slammed in the smiling Pink pony’s face. As Baen turned back to his couch, he gawked at the fact Pinkie laid on the quilt he was using. “Well I guess you’re right, it is pretty late,” she smiled kindly though Baen was wary of it, “So let’s get some shut eye first!” Baen blinked, “Fine,” he scooted the cotton candy mare off the couch and chucked her a pillow and blanket, “but you sleep on the floor.” Baen flopped down on the couch and dozed. Pinkie snuggled under the blanket beside him and glanced at Baen, “Hey Baen.” “Mrhmf.” Pinkie snorted lightly but quieted herself, “Um…do you still, ya know, hate me and my friends?” Baen was silent. Pinkie shrugged, “Just asking, nighty night!” Pinkie placed a sleep mask on her eyes and rolled over. Baen however stared at the back of the couch, lost in thought on the question. “Do I hate them?” * The no, the girls were all collectively gathered outside Sugarcube Corner gazing around in confusion. Applejack glanced at the girls with a bit of worry on her face, “Has anypony heard from Pinkie Pie since yesterday?” Her friends shook their heads gave the same answer, “Nuh-uh.” Rainbow Dash was visibly tired and was lazily flapping, “I don't see what's so important we had to meet her here this early. Celestia hasn't even raised the sun yet!” Somewhere in the distance a rooster snored loudly. Twilight approached the door and knocked with the same worry her friends shared, “I hope everything's okay.” The alicorn knocked on the door to the confection shop and waited. A series of crashes and one masculine yell met their ears. Pinkie Pie stuck her head out quickly, "Thank goodness you're all here! There's no time to lose!" All the girls were then grabbed by the pink mare and pulled inside, the door slamming in the confused Rainbow Dash’s face. Before she could voice her agitation, the door opened and closed once more and she was with her friends….staring at a land of color and sugar. Pinkie cautioned them on being careful and then turned around to an astonished Twilight. Twilight was in awe, “What is all this?” Pinkie bounced giddily in place, “My sister Maud's gonna be here soon, and I need your help taste-testing my rock candy recipes!” Applejack could only gawk at the candies, “Uh, we're happy to help you, Pinkie Pie, but this seems like an awful lot of candy.” Rarity nodded, “Even for you.” Pinkie Pie smiled sheepishly, “I may have gone a teensy bit overboard. But that’s why I got an early helper!” All the girls raised their eyebrows as Twilight spoke slowly, “Early helper.” “YOU INFERNAL PINK DEMON! HELP ME OUT HERE!” Pinkie turned around and noticed a mildly livid Baen sticking his head out of a pile of red rock candy, “OH! I’m so sorry Baen, be right back! I’ll get the snow shovel!” Baen looked around fearful, “Hurry it up! The pile is shifting!!!!” Twilight walked over to Baen, “I wouldn’t expect a pony like you to actually…well.” “Help the ball of crazy known as Pinkie?” Twilight nodded with embarrassment, “Well, yes.” Baen smirked, “Don’t get the wrong idea. The only reason I’m helping is that she Pinkie Promised to not bother me for a fortnight…whatever a Pinkie Promise is I am not sure.” Applejack walked around the candy with a smirk, “Maybe spendin some time in there might sweeten your demeanour.” Baen rolled his eyes, “Oh ha ha, mock the pony in the candy.” Pinkie then burst into the room with a mint green snow shovel, “STAND BACK I’M ARMED!” A streak dove into the candy, and then Baen popped out of the top like a cork out off of a bottle. “Well that was pleasant,” he looked at Pinkie evenly, “do you want me to get the rest?” The girls glanced at the smiling pink mare, “The rest?” Pinkie smiled, “Of course! These are only piles A through F.” Twilight nervously pointed at her friend, “Are any of the other letters of the alphabet involved in your sorting method?” Pinkie nodded. The girls collectively groaned. * Several moans of protest and groans of discomfort later, the girls were in a veritable sugar coma. Baen on the other hoof was munching on a few more rock candies before he glanced at Pinkie. “Hm, the lemon seems a tad tart,” Baen said, “the adding a pinch of sugar to sweeten it.” Pinkie bopped her head, “Darn, I thought I had it that time!” Baen shrugged as Rainbow wobbled over to him, “How the hay can you eat that much?!” Baen just stared at her, “Iron stomach.” The sound of a goat was heard as Rainbow fell over. Baen casually munched on his candy as Pinkie explained her motive for the candy in the first place. “Well,” she began, “It's part of a very important, super-duper special tradition that only the closest and bestest of friends can share. We're going to make rock candy necklaces together,” she squealed in delight, “It all started when Maud and I were fillies on the rock farm. She taught me the Pie family rock candy recipe! It adds a secret ingredient”, she then quickly whispered, “Its rocks!” Baen glanced at the piece he had and then shrugged as he munched on it while Pinkie finished, “And she showed me how to string the pieces to make them into a necklace! And once we were done, we'd trade! Maud and I have been trading necklaces back and forth since I moved to Ponyville. They're a sign that we'll always be best friends!” Baen pursed his lips and looked at the candy trove around him, “Hm.” Fluttershy glanced at Pinkie, “What kind of rock?” Pinkie waggled her hoof with a small grin, “Can't tell ya that, silly! It's a secret! Now that Maud is heading out to get her rocktorate in rock science, this may be our last chance to trade them for a really long time. I can't wait for you all to meet her. I just know that my best Ponyville friends and my best sister friend are gonna become bestest friends! We can make bestest-est friend rock candy necklaces together! She expresses herself through fashion just like Rarity, and she's really smart and loves reading just like Twilight,” she turned to Baen, “she’s even just as strong as you Baen!” Baen plopped a candy on his tongue with a quick, “Doubt it.” Pinkie didn’t hear it, “And she's honest, and loves forest things, and is good at games, and... Well, oh, she's awesome!” Rarity spoke in a strained voice, “Won’t she start worrying if you’re not there to meet her?” Pinkie gasped and bolted out of the shop. Baen was sifting through various piles and was looking for something as well as pocketing. Twilight approached him, “What are you doing?” Baen yanked his axe out of a pile of yellow candies, “Looking for this,” he slid out the door, “Now I’m going to take a nap. The pink one made an addendum on our agreement that I’ll have to meet her sister as well.” Baen left out the door as the girls went about cleaning up, Applejack noticed one thing. “Hm, a string is missin.” * Baen leaned against a tree in the shade as the girls went about preparing themselves on the trail leading to the picnic they had set up. He ideally glanced around with his back to them as he fiddled with something grumbling. Twilight looked over to the barbarian curiously, “Baen, what in Equestria are you doing over there?” Baen glanced over his shoulder, “That’s none of your concern.” Twilight shrugged and went about her business setting up. A loud voice cut through the din, “WE’RE HERE!” Baen quickly turned around and looked over. He saw the approaching mare and another beside her. Baen couldn’t make the mare out until she got closer. The way this mare looked, she was the complete anti-thesis to Pinkie Pie. Her coat was stone grey and she wore a dress that was a lighter stone grey. Her mane and tail was faded purple and was completely straight and trimmed. Her eyes were lidded and a light turquoise. The mare known as Maud Pie stopped and sniffed a rock on the ground, “Hm. Sedimentary.” Rainbow blinked, “Huh?” “This is sedimentary rock,” she pointed to the rock in question, her voice sounding neutral and almost uninterested. Baen raised an eyebrow; this mare was a sibling of the pink one? Twilight gave a small smile, “That's... really fascinating, isn't it, girls? We're just so thrilled you could come for a visit before your big trip. Pinkie Pie has told us so much about you. I'm Twilight, and this is Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity.” Rarity glanced over to Baen, “And that stallion over there is Baen.” Baen half waved as Maud gazed at him. “So that’s the barbarian pony,” Maud blinked. Baen nodded slowly, “Ai.” Maud continued to stare at him. Baen stared back. Both ponies blinked. Twilight glanced between the two, “Ooookay then.” * So after several awkward introductions, one involving a pet rock, Maud went with each of the girls to spend time with them. Baen on the other hoof was at Vinyl’s house awaiting his turn with the grey mare. He was sitting at the table as Vinyl watched him. “You’ve been at that thing for an hour,” she raised an eyebrow, “Any reason? Another gift to your marefriend?” Her pervy smile incited a chuckle from Baen, “Nah, I already sent Coco some flowers a day ago. This is more….,” he stared at the thing in front of him with confusion, “personal, I think would be the word.” Vinyl shrugged until she glanced over to the window and raised an eyebrow, “Hey you remember that mare you told me about when you got back here?” Baen nodded, “Yeah.” “Well, she’s staring at the house,” she shivered slightly, “it’s kinda creeping me out.” Baen stashed his project in a small box and sat up, “Well I’d best be off then,” he strapped his axe onto his back and headed out the door, “Hello there Maud.” Maud stared with her never changing gaze, “Hello.” Baen glanced around, “So….care to go for a walk and I suppose, chill in the park?” Maud blinked and spoke in her monotone voice, “We’re already walking. And it’s not cold in the park.” Baen chuckled, “You’re quite witty I must say.” Maud nodded as they walked side by side, “Thank you for noticing. Not a lot of ponies understand my humor,” she glanced at Baen, “As you can see, my jokes are much more different than my sisters.” Baen gave a small grin, “Clearly.” Maud gave a small smile but regained her regular expression. Soon they arrived in the park and sat on the grass. Maud stared at Baen. Baen glanced at her, “Hm?” “Your axe,” she said, “It’s made of orachulum. There is not that much here in the world.” Baen blinked in surprise, “You know what orachulum is?” Maud nodded, “I have a collection of shards in my bedroom at home. They shine when the light hits them just right, I enjoy the light they give off.” Baen sighed. Maud looked at him, “Am I boring you?” “No it’s not that, actually far from the point, you’re quite interesting I must say,” Baen stared into the distance. Maud followed his gaze, “The feeling is mutual.” Baen blinked in surprise, “I see.” Maud glanced at him, “So what seems to be the problem? I’ve been told I’m a great listener.” Baen exhaled in mild relief, “Well frankly my mind is, as Twilight’s books say, in flux. I mean,” he looked at Maud, “Those six mares…they’re just so….” Maud finished for him, “Odd?” Baen blinked, “That and they’re, just not normal.” “What is normal,” Maud stated. Baen looked at her, “Huh?” Maud gazed at him, “What is normal? Is it the state of mind you expect others to have, or is it something that everypony else has come to expect as normal?” Baen looked at the grass, “Well, I…” “What’s the real reason you don’t like them,” Maud asked Baen glanced to the side, “To be frank, they’re everything I hate. Naïve, unaware of the workings of life, and just…..the fact that they’re known as heroes infuriates me,” he waved a hoof around, “I’ve toppled armies, sorcerers, unholy abominations, and all they did was corral an evil princess, a bug queen, rebellious vegetation and a mix matched creature.” He then glanced up, “No offence D.” Discord reclined with a sun screen and glasses, “None taken B.” Maud gazed at him with…pity, “You’re jealous of them.” Baen looked at her, “Jealous?” Maud nodded, “its jealousy and pride. You’re jealous that you’ve done so much and had what they have only to not have it anymore. And your pride prevents you from getting over your jealousy to get to know them better.” Baen sighed, “And let me guess, if I did get to know them, I would be surprised.” Maud nodded once more, “Yes. I want to know them better; there is just something about them.” Baen nodded, “They seem to have that effect on ponies.” Maud raised an eyebrow, “But why not you?” Baen said nothing. Then a familiar pink ball bounced up. * Soon Baen stared at the mass hodge podge of equipment before him. The girls as well as Baen just…stared. Baen pointed, “What in the name of sanity is that?” Pinkie smiled and sweapt her hoof at the course, “I call it "Pinkie-Rainbow-Rari-Twi-Apple-Flutter-Maud Fun Time!” Rainbow blinked, “Huh,” she then noted the name, “wait! Why doesn’t Baen have his name in there?!” Pinkie smiled, “Because Baen and Maud seem to be bonding well.” Rainbow waved her hooves, “OH COME ON!” Pinkie Pie trotted over to some costumes, “It combines everypony's interests into one giant activity that we can all enjoy together and that will totally bring all of my bestest friends together as bestestest friends! You'll need these.” Rainbow Dash raised a hoof, “Like I said, Huh?” Pinkie Pie giggled, “Probably better for me to show you. Watch this,” she scaled a ladder then entered a tunnel filled with some sort of paste, “Applesauce tunnel for Applejack,” she dropped into a pit of shining fabric, “pretty shiny stuff for Rarity, reading material for Twilight, critter time for Fluttershy...” The bear she stood before roared. Pinkie Pie then approached a table of cupcakes, “Cupcakes for yours truly...and it's a race for Rainbow Dash!” Twilight noted a massive pile of rocks, “Pinkie Pie, what is that?!” Pinkie Pie smiled, “A rock slide, of course! For Maud! First you climb, and then you slide! Applejack gazed at the pile incredulously, “I've got a bad feeling about this...” Pinkie bounced up each and every rock, but then she stopped. Tugging on her fore hoof, the movement of which caused the mound to tremble, then the stones started to fall. Pinkie desperately tried to pull her hoof away faster but it was in vain. “HELP!!!” Baen stepped forward reaching for his axe, but froze when Maud zoomed across the area. Then leapt through the air like a bullet, in a flash, she reduced the boulder to pebbles. Baen just stood in a stupor. The girls went to check on their friend as the barbarian looked away and turned to leave. Twilight however gazed after the barbarian, she had seen everything, and she couldn’t help but give a small smile. * Baen had come with the girls on their short train trip. It turns out that Pinkie had assumed the worst and decided to go with Maud. The girls of course not wanting to see their friend leave went and clarified things at the rock farm. Baen stood and watched as the girls chatted amongst themselves. Maud however approached Baen and gave him a small hug. Baen blinked, “What was that?” “It was a hug,” Maud stated, “I saw you make a move to save Pinkie. Thank you.” Baen nodded, “Right.” Maud gave a smile, “Would you perhaps want to keep in touch? When I get my rocktorite I want to have a chance to study your axe.” Baen nodded, “The more pen pals the merrier.” Both Baen and Maud gave a short hoof bump before the Ponyville group bid the rock farmer adieu. * Baen and the girls sat in silence on the train until Rarity spoke up, “I just can’t believe that even when Pinkie Pie was in danger,” she glanced at the sleeping barbarian at the back of the train, “he didn’t make a move to help her at all.” Twilight shook her head, “That’s not true.” All the girls gazed at their alicorn friend. Twilight nodded, “It’s true. In the moment that Pinkie yelled for help,” she glanced at Baen, “He steeled himself and reached for his weapon.” Applejack glanced at him, “Really?” The train shook slightly and they heard a thunk. Glancing over, Twilight noticed a box on the ground of the train. Levitating it over, she opened it as the girls glanced inside. “Oh my,” a touched Rarity said. Inside was a necklace. A purple rock candy was carved in the shape of a star, an orange in the shape of an apple; a cyan candy was a lightning bolt. A pink rock candy was carved in the shape of a balloon and a yellow one, a butterfly. The one beside the butterfly was a white rock candy in the shape of a jewel. The center rock candy was rose red and carved in the shape of a teardrop. Twilight and the girls glanced at the sleeping Baen who smiled in his sleep. Twilight smiled with a bit of tears in her eyes, “He really does care.”