Chapter Thirty-Seven: Inanities
Just as Fluttershy had expected, Rainbow Dash wasn’t much help and she was not sure where to go next. She was curious. Rarity and the cyan pegasus offered their advice and opinions - what would everyone else say? Her eyes coming to rest on the Books and Branches Library, she figured that Twilight Sparkle was the next choice to ask. Wondering what she would think, she made a beeline right for the location. Landing on the ground in front of the entrance, she nudged the door open while knocking softly.
“Hello?” she meekly called inside.
“Oh, hey there, Fluttershy! The lavender alicorn princess lifted her head to remove her gaze from a book she had been reading, positioned on her belly in the middle of the foyer. “What brings you here?”
“I… have a small question. I… um… I’m spending time with Smokey, and we… we want to have a little get-together later on, perhaps in the next week. I was… wondering if you… had some opinions or advice…?”
“Advice? You mean like dating advice?” Twilight Sparkle asked, arching her eyebrow. “That would really be more Rarity’s area of expertise, not mine.”
“Oh, I already asked her--”
“And you’re still coming to me? Wow, I’m surprised! I would have thought Rarity would know all there is to know about dating!”
“It’s… really not a date--”
“Hang on!” The winged-and-horned pony leaped to her hooves, heading over to examine the bookshelves. “I can’t believe I didn’t think of this right away! I’m sure I got a book or two about dating somewhere around here! Spike? Spiiiiike! Where is he?”
“It’s okay, Twilight, really, I--”
“Ah! Here it is!” the mare exclaimed, pulling out an alarmingly thick book, about the same size as a standard dictionary. Letting it hit the floor with a profound SLAM! it sprang open to a random point in the middle, she scanned the pages. “10,000 Things You Always Wanted to Know About Dating but Were Afraid to Ask. This will be perfect for you!”
“Uh--”
“What type of date are you two planning on going on? A walk in the park? A simple picnic? Dinner for two? A day at the boardwalk?”
“I’d rather not--”
“That’s all right. I completely understand,” Twilight Sparkle cut off the pegasus with a smile. “Don’t worry. Here, I’ll let you borrow this - it’ll probably be more use to you alone than me going through it for you!”
Eyeing her, Fluttershy gave her a slight deadpan expression.
“… Thanks?”
“Think nothing of it.” The alicorn waved her off. “Besides, what are good friends for?”
“Uh… yeah. I’m just… going to go now. I’ll see you around, Twilight.
“Okay! See you later, Fluttershy! Drop by anytime!”
Stumbling outside - the large book on her back far heavier than it appeared - , Fluttershy glanced back at the door after it closed behind her. Of course, it didn’t entirely surprise her. Twilight Sparkle knew next to nothing about dating and had, as always, referred to written text as per her standard procedure. Shaking her head, she thought about where to go next.
Her stomach began rumbling, and it was then she realized that she hadn’t eaten anything at all since an early breakfast. With that in mind, she cantered off towards Sugarcube Corner.
***
Wandering into the establishment, bell announcing her arrival, Fluttershy spotted a portly blue earth pony mare. As she trotted up, Mrs. Cake greeted her with a welcoming smile.
“Well, hello, Fluttershy! Is there anything I can get you today?”
“Um, yes. I’ll take a half-dozen blueberry muffins and a half-dozen chocolate crème donuts, please,” the young mare requested.
“Of course. Anything else?”
“No… Actually, where’s Pinkie? I… had something I wanted to ask her.”
“Pinkie?” Cup Cake responded as she got out a short box to place the donuts inside. “Last I saw her, she was playing with the twins upstairs. I’ll call her down.”
“That won’t be necessary,” said Fluttershy. “In fact, if you don’t mind - can I… ask a personal question?”
“Sure, sweetie.” The co-owner of the store put in the last donut and paused to playfully narrowed her eyes. “Depends on how personal.”
“I’m curious… how did you and Mr. Cake? What did you do together?”
“Hmm?” Cup Cake reached for one of the blueberry muffins on display. “Well, now! That’s going back a bit. I met my honeybun back in culinary school close to a decade ago. Though, I must ask - why the sudden interest? Does Ponyville’s shrinking violet have a special somepony?”
“I’ll say she does!”
Fluttershy whirled around to the stairwell where Pinkie Pie was standing… clad in a costume that, if it weren’t for the comically oversized head - the jaws parted to make way for her face - and the fact that she was quadrupedal, would have practically been a dead ringer for Smokey. When the pink pony had woken up that morning, her Pinkie Sense compelled her to speak to Fluttershy and lecture her in better conversation and the costume of their newest friend called to her out of the array she kept.
“Pinkie, what in the world--” the baker began.
“He’s a real nice one, too! Didn’t I tell you? They’ve been together for a couple of weeks now! And they’re even raising a baby together!”
“Gracious me!” Cup Cake shifted her attention to the pegasus, her eyes wide in surprise. “You never told me you had a foal!”
“It’s… not what you think…” Fluttershy squeaked, going red in the face again.
“Naw, silly! Fluttershy didn’t actually have a foal! They found the baby out in the woods and decided to keep her since they couldn’t find her real parents!”
“Oh, well. That’s nice of you. So you were asking--”
“Ooh! Ooh! I know! I know!” Pinkie Pie interjected, bouncing. “You’re going to ask him out on a date!”
“No!” the sunshine yellow equine sputtered. “Why does everypony keep thinking that?”
Pinkie Pie’s face fell flat as her eyes fixated on the book upon her friend’s back.
“You are carrying 10,000 Things You Always Wanted to Know About Dating but Were Afraid to Ask on your back. I mean, that’s not something you’d be carrying unless you were looking for dating advice, or unless you were delivering it to somepony who NEEDED dating advice, but I think Rarity would be the one to--”
“Um… um, Pinkie, I already spoke to Rarity.”
“--and I would be - wait, you already did?” the curly-maned mare, having continued to speak over Fluttershy, suddenly stopped. “Then, wait, why--”
“I kind of… wanted to get everypony else’s advice and opinions.”
“That’s wonderful news, dear!” Cup Cake beamed, setting the final muffin into the box and closing it. “Who’s the lucky stallion?”
“His name’s Smokey,” Pinkie Pie chirped.
“Smokey?” The blue mare appeared perplexed. “You mean that one always talking about preventing--”
“No, not that Smokey!” The party pony narrowed her eyes in exasperation. “The one who lives in the Everfree Forest! The one I told you about!”
“Oh! You mean that nice young stallion who saved Fluttershy’s life?” Cup Cake gasped. “Goodness, I had almost completely forgotten! Dear me, I hope I’m not becoming forgetful in my old age.”
“I wouldn’t call you--”
“You know, Fluttershy, I’m really glad you two are taking it to the next step! You and Smokey look almost as cute as Mr. and Mrs. Cake when they snuggle together and cuddle and kiss in the kitchen--”
“Now, Pinkie--” Now it was Cup Cake’s turn to look flustered.
“--And I an imagine you both doing just that and--” Pinkie Pie cut herself off and gasped in an over-the-top manner, as if she suddenly realized something very important. “Oh! You know what?!”
“Oh no,” Fluttershy meeped.
“You know what this calls for?!”
“A party--”
“A PARTY!!!” The hyperactive pony leaped into the air, streamers and confetti that inexplicably came from out of nowhere flying in all directions. Coming back down, she turned tail into the direction of the doorway. “I really gotta get crackin’! This is gonna be a super-duper-fantabulous party! I can’t wait to get everything set up!”
“Please, Pinkie, I--” the pegasus spoke up in a note of near desperation.
“Can’t talk right now, Fluttershy!” said Pinkie Pie as she bounded out the door. “I got decorations to get and those invitations won’t write themselves!”
“… But I don’t want a party…” Fluttershy sighed. “I was hoping for something quiet.”
Cup Cake, who had made her way around the counter to stand beside Fluttershy, setting the box of sweets on top of the book and slipped a foreleg around her shoulders.
“Don’t worry, deary. I’ll talk to her and let her know,” she reassured. “You go ahead and take the muffins and donuts. Be sure to pass on my blessings to Smokey and the little one, too. It’s about time you found somepony to spend time with. It was such a shame to see you waste away all by yourself.”
“Um…”
“Don’t worry about the bits, either. No charge, they’re on the house.”
“… Thank you… I need… I need to go…”
With that, she clopped outside before breaking out into a full gallop - now wanting nothing more than to get out of town before Pinkie Pie spread the news. Knowing her, she would already--
“HEY, EVERYPONY!!!” Pinkie Pie’s voice could be heard booming through a megaphone, from up above her position on the roof of a house.
‘Oh, ponyfeathers,’ the mare mentally cursed, running as fast as she could to escape town.