It had been a few weeks since my prank to freak out Twilight, and only once more had I pranked them since. It was during the “May the Best Pet Win” event. It wasn’t that hard to hear the rockslide from Ghastly Gorge, which I had prepared for. After Dash had decided to make Tank her pet, and name him, I made sure they saw me off in the distance with the sign I had made with “Go Tortoise Go!” written on it. It was just a wooden plank with crayon used to write the words and tied to my naginata with rope, but it had the desired effect. Their stunned “how the fuck did he know?” expressions were priceless. I left before they could come after me of course. It almost made up for having to stay away from Nightmare Night, which was so tempting. After all Halloween was always my favorite holiday.
On more important matters, I had actually made some progress with collecting my weapons. Unfortunately, it was the minimal amount of progress, as I had recovered one weapon. It was actually in the Castle of the Pony Sisters, right under my nose the whole time. I didn’t even sense it until I meditated, and I only seemed to be able to detect it when I was inside the castle itself. I guess aside from my naginata there was a range issue on detecting them.
Unfortunately, my excitement was dampened when I realized what weapon I had recovered: Excalipoor, the single most infamous joke weapon in all video games. Sure it had its uses: turns out it’s still a very durable blade that can parry blows with the best of them. And I guess I could fall back onto it if I was trying not to hurt anyone. Even more upsetting was what happened when I got it. As soon as I held the blade it disappeared. However, I could feel its presence inside me, which meant that it had probably gone to giving me my transformations back. However, I still couldn’t transform. Likely I needed all the weapons for that one transformation before I could do it.
Over the next few weeks I had paid a few visits to Zecora, getting not only some more tips on navigating the forest but also a few herbal recipes and, most importantly, some delicious, delectable, Zebafrican red tea. All those spots with fruits had helped me not only keep up my health, but I felt much better about not having to kill an animal every time I wanted to eat, although that did still happen once a week. What little part of my conscience that nagged at me for it was greatly suppressed, though still noticeably there.
I really need to learn how to smoke meat. Cragadiles are one of the only things I don’t feel guilty about killing, and if I took down a Hydra, I could go for months without having to slay anything.
I couldn’t just walk all over Equestria, or even worse all of Equus, trying to find my weapons, so I had to try and find some way to get a heading. Thanks to what I remembered of the show I found the secret library in the Castle of the Pony Sisters, but no luck there. Unless I found some sort of tool or technique to locate them my only other options were meandering or actually trying to get the information out of the Canterlot Archives. Or worse, the Princesses themselves.
Yeah, that’s going to happen. Even if they were likely to break under interrogation that’s not my style.
At the current moment I was lost in my thoughts, searching the Everfree Forest for my weekly kill when I noticed something extremely unexpected: a campfire. I quietly approached the small clearing where it was, or as quietly as I could with my armor and size anyway, and saw a griffon. He was quite old from what I could tell, his brown feathers starting to whiten and his overall color having lost its sheen. I saw nearby the tail of a manticore roasting on a spit while he himself was eating what appeared to be one of its hind legs, ripping the flesh with his beak. He was wearing iron armor, dull but still well maintained, though the marks of battle were clearly seen with scratches and the occasional dent. At his side was a short sword and resting next to him a lance. I don’t know what I was expecting him to do next, but it certainly wasn’t what he did.
“Want a bite?” he asked, holding the meat out to me.
I had to admit, I was shocked. He didn’t seem scared of me at all.
“Are you always this trusting?” I asked.
“Well, you aren’t a beast, and if you were trying to kill me for something you would’ve snuck up on me instead of just walking up to me.”
“Maybe I prefer facing my prey head on?”
“Maybe. Is that what you’re here for?”
“…No.”
“Thought so.”
I sat by the campfire and took the leg he offered. As I removed my faceguard he reached behind him and pulled out another leg, already cooked. He held it over the fire for half a minute before joining me in eating.
“So, what’s a griffon, and more importantly a griffon warrior, doing out here? You a mercenary, a convict, or maybe just a wandering warrior?”
“I suppose that last one is the closest. Gregory, 1st Lieutenant of the Griffon Kingdom Special Combat Squad, retired. I’m just an old soldier who’s out to see the world.”
The SCS. That’s like the Marines of the Griffon Kingdom, if I remember correctly. I was never that much into military ranks but I think that 1st Lieutenant is pretty high up.
“And the weapons?” I asked.
“Don’t feel right without them. Also, can’t be too careful, right? Not all the ponies are as nice as Celestia’d like us to think. And let’s not forget that there’s still plenty of scary things out there.”
“Didn’t seem to scare you much,” I noted, motioning to what we were eating.
“I suppose. I guess ‘scary’ ain’t the right word. ‘Dangerous’ sounds better. You dangerous, sir?”
“That depends on what you mean. If you’re asking if I’ve killed before, then yes, though only for food. If you’re asking if I could kill you, most certainly. If you’re asking if I mean you harm, well… not exactly.”
“What’s that mean?” he asked, tensing if only very slightly.
I grinned. “Gregory, former 1st Lieutenant of the Griffon Kingdom, would you be opposed to a sparring match?”
He smirked back. “Been a while since I fought against anything that attacks with something other than instinct. You mind if we finish eating first?”
“Of course, no use in wasting good food.”
The two of us faced each other along the river leading to the Castle of the Pony Sisters, the same river that that sea serpent who helped the Mane Six cross lived in. What was his name… ah, forget it.
“Just to let you know, I don’t have the materials to heal any wounds, so I’d prefer that this doesn’t get too serious,” I warned.
“I appreciate it. I’ll oblige, but don’t expect me to lose, kid,” he said confidently, leveling his lance at me.
“’Kid’? What makes you think I’m a kid?” I asked as I took my own stance.
“You act like one. Can see it in your eyes. Don’t take it too hard, experience doesn’t always breed maturity.”
“I dunno, old timer. You sound pretty cocky yourself. Or are you claiming that’s simply ‘confidence’?”
“Why don’t you find out?”
I stood my ground and got the reaction I expected, a raised eyebrow of intrigue. He probably expected me to rush in immediately.
I’m no noob, old timer. Even if I was never much of a fighter in my realm I’ve got one hundred years of experience here in Equus, and the number one rule is never, never, never, underestimate your opponent.
“Alright then, kid, let’s see what you can do,” he said as he flapped his wings and began to hover for a bit before rushing forwards. I thrust my naginata at him, a simple attack, just to see how he’d react. Rather surprisingly he barely dodged the weapon and spiraled around it before thrusting his lance at my face. With my superior speed I not only dodged but also jumped away from him.
Nimble old bird.
I took a swing at him and he quickly unsheathed his short sword to parry my blow before dashing at me again. Rather than simply stab at me he swung his lance at my legs, which I quickly jumped over. He then flew up and cut at me with his sword, which I leaned my head away from, before swooping back down for a vertical cut, which I blocked. As I hit the ground he also landed and stabbed up at me with his lance. I twisted my body out of the way before kicking him in the chest, sending him flying backwards. I was surprised, not thinking I kicked him that hard only to see him flap his wings and hop up onto one of the trees, perching himself on its branch.
Whoa. I didn’t send him flying that far with my kick, he actually propelled himself away from me so he didn’t take the full blow. Old guy’s got moves.
He leapt off the branch and flew at me again, but when he got close he flapped his wings, kicking up dirt at me and clouding my vision. Fortunately I could still hear his wings and I noticed him fly above me before diving down. I rolled forward as his lance pierced the dirt and then thrust the blunt end of my weapon at him, hitting him in the armor and sending him reeling, almost tumbling into the river before regaining himself and taking to the air again. He charged again, this time veering off to the right at the last second before darting left and attempting to slash me, which I easily avoided before striking him with the flat of my blade. Not wanting him to recover I raced towards him and began to attack with my weapon. None of my strikes were deadly, nor were they powerful, at least by my standards, but they kept him on the defensive. As we traded blows I could only find myself more and more impressed. He didn’t seem intimidated at all, and there was no energy wasted in his movements, everything precise. I then checked his eyes, peering into his soul, wondering what kind of warrior he really was.
When I got my answer it nearly broke my concentration. It was something I hadn’t seen more than a handful of times, even over one hundred years. I decided to end it there and swung my weapon hard, producing a gale of wind that sent him tumbling. I then jumped up and aimed my blade down. I landed over him, my blade pointing right at his face. He seemed shocked for a moment, before closing his eyes and chuckling.
“And here I thought I was going to give an young and cocky upstart a lesson. Guess I’m getting too old.”
“Not at all, Sir Gregory. You skill is one of the most impressive I’ve ever seen,” I replied stepping off him and offering my hand, which he gladly took. “Unfortunately I am not without extensive skill, strength, and agility myself. You are truly a rare breed of warrior, one that not even I can truly compare to.”
“Now you’re just trying to flatter me.”
“Not at all. I myself am one who seeks the thrill of the fight, the rush of clashing with a worthy opponent. But you, you are one who seeks only self improvement, one who fights only to test his own skill and hone his abilities. A soul powerful, yet not a hint aggressive. Not even from the Princesses have I seen such purity.”
“’The Princesses’? You’ve fought Celestia and Luna?” he asked, surprised.
“Indeed. I’ve defeated them several times in the past, and once very recently.”
His surprised expression turned to outright shock. “Now wait a minute, you mean you’re-“
I stood tall. “Indeed. I, Gregory, am the warrior who has defeated armies, dragons, and even the majestic Princesses themselves, the mighty Gilgamesh. I must admit, my introduction would normally be more boisterous, but today I am not in the mood. For you, Gregory, former 1st Lieutenant of the Special Combat Squad, have even in defeat humbled me with your fighting spirit.”
I bowed respectfully. I had meant every word I said.
It was like fighting a Griffon version of Ryu. I never thought this ‘peaceful’ world would’ve ever produced such a warrior.
After finally recovering from shock he chuckled. “Well, I don’t feel so bad about losing now.”
I laughed back. “Indeed. I must ask a favor, my worthy adversary. Please tell no one I am here. I am hiding in these woods as I await an opportunity to make amends with Celestia and Luna.”
“I get ya. You have my word.”
“I greatly appreciate it.”
“And maybe you can do me a favor, too. I hear there’s town nearby here. I could use a place to rest and get some supplies. Can you tell me where it is?”
“Of course. Ponyville lies in that direction. I warn you though, the residents are quite panicky, even to the point of panicking over a mere Zebra in the past. I can only imagine what kind of reaction an armed griffon would evoke from them. However, the bearers of the Elements of Harmony themselves also live there. If you can get in their good graces, then the ponies should calm around you. Though I cannot make any promises, the pink one will likely aid you in such endeavors. You’ll know her when you see her.”
“Obliged. Well I’ll be off then.”
“May the winds of freedom always carry your wings.”
He waved as he took off towards Ponyville. I was about to make my own way into the forest when I heard a voice call me.
Master of battles and weapons, wielder of dangerous magics, a worthy foe who seeks adventure and challenges! It is I, Auric Fulcrum, Knight of the Eclipse, Wielder of the Flames of Alchemy! I call on you, for I am in a bit of a spot of bother right now, and I could really use your help! I SUMMON THEE, GILGAMESH!
Auric Fulcrum? I remember that name. That was what that coin told me it was from. Heh, guess I’m getting pretty popular.
I fell back to earth where I was when I left.
Poor guy. Looks like he’s dealing with a lot of shit. Still, a whole town following him, and being able to successfully make Tia apologize? Guy’s got some impressive feats under his belt. But now, back to business.
I pulled out the compass Auric had made me, feeling a sudden urge to sing "Hoist the Colors" before opening it up.
“Now, let’s see if we can find our heading,” I said between clenched teeth and twiddling my fingers on my free hand. After focusing on wanting to find the gear nearest to me I found the needle turn towards-
Canterlot. Oh goodie.
I sighed.
Looks like I’m not getting a full night’s rest tonight.
“SISTER! SISTER! AWAKEN, QUICKLY! THE PALACE HATH BEEN INFILTRATED!”
Celestia shook herself awake, her sister’s jostling and her voice bringing her out of her lovely sleep.
“Bwuh?”
“TIA, PLEASE, WE HAVE NO TIME! GILGAMESH IS HERE IN THE PALACE!”
“Wh-what? WHAT!?”
Celestia sprung out of bed, not even bothering to put on her jewelry or fix her bed head before rushing after her younger sister.
“Where is he, Luna?”
“Inside the royal vault! We were headed there when we stopped to awaken thee! We fear he may know the presence of some of his weapons!”
Celestia barreled down the halls in a full on gallop. The Royal Vault wasn’t that far away from her and Luna’s quarters so they could react quickly if the unthinkable were to happen. As they approached they found a massive series of holes through the vault doors, and the additional doors behind them, with the several members of the Night Guard groaning in pain, none of the dead thankfully. The two sisters entered only to find the vault without any traces of life. As they feared, the sealed chest containing six of his weapons was open and destroyed. The chest had contained six odd weapons of almost futuristic design, four of them that rapidly fired what appeared to be miniature cannonballs, while the other two fired self-propelled explosives. But what really caught their eyes was a cup of steaming liquid and note right beside it. The solar diarch levitated the message to her.
Dear Celestia,
I’m sorry for causing such a ruckus, but I highly doubt you’d be willing to just give me back what’s mine, so measures had to be taken. As a token of my apology I’ve made sure to leave you some zebafrican red tea for you to try. I hope you enjoy it even a fraction of the amount I do. Also, while you’re reading this, I’m no doubt currently breaking into the barracks of the Solar and Lunar Guards to retrieve the weapons you’ve stashed there. Once again, I apologize.
Hope you’re doing well otherwise,
The Mighty Gilgamesh
P.S. Sorry for freaking out Twilight, but it was way too fun.
By the time she finished the letter Celestia was gritting her teeth, her eyes shining with power and anger. Just a moment later a explosion rang out from nearby in the direction of the barracks. Luna immediately galloped out while Clestia turned her gaze to the tea cup before vaporizing it. She then turned and followed her sister.
Celestia trotted back to her room, her head hung low in shame.
The Royal Vault doors utterly destroyed, the barracks of both the Solar and Luna Guards damaged, numerous injuries among both, and to make it worse he had now retrieved eight of his weapons right from under our snouts. Could this get any worse?
As she opened the doors she looked inside and immediately her face contorted into rage. Sitting on her desk was another tea cup with piping hot tea, a teapot, and another note. She immediately picked it up and read it.
Dear Celestia,
Seeing as how you were no doubt preoccupied with other things and no doubt likely under great stress you probably destroyed the tea I left for you back in the Vault. If not, good for you, you’ve got better control over your temper than I thought! If you did, well I can’t say I’m too surprised. Once again, here’s some zebafrican red tea as a token of my apology for your inconvenience. I sincerely hope you’re not so childish as to throw another hissy fit after things have calmed down just because things aren’t going your way.
Best Wishes,
The Magnificent Gilgamesh
P.S. Seriously, just try it. You could probably use some right now.
Celestia’s rage actually dulled as she read the note, though by was no means extinguished. As much as she hated to admit it, it was rather foalish to just throw a tantrum. The knowledge that Giglamesh was regaining his power, not to mention that their defenses were apparently worthless, was certainly distressing, but aside from that nothing they had suffered could not be fixed. Also, the past month had proven that Luna’s plan was working and that, if nothing else, Gilgamesh could seem to be trusted with not terrorizing her subjects, besides the occasional count of mischievous pranks.
The alicorn plopped herself down onto her cushion before levitating the still warm teacup over to her. She took a sip of the liquid and sighed.
It’s actually quite good.