Regenerator 228
Chapter 12
When Celestia had heard about the creature that Twilight had found, she had expected to find something from another world and to therefore meet something wholly different from any other species.
But she hadn’t imagined that this new friend would look so… unbelievably terrifying.
When she had first laid eyes on the creature known as 228 she had fought the urge to attack as she took in all of the twisted parts that made up the abominable whole. But her fears were allayed by the way that the other Bearers interacted with him, especially Fluttershy; the sight of the timid pegasus smiling at the creature was enough to convince her not to pass judgement.
At least...not yet.
When the creature- who was apparently named 228- saw her he smiled and lifted a fist outward, only for Fluttershy to demonstrate a proper wave, which he gave, albeit slowly.
The action was so childish and unexpected that the solar princess couldn’t help but chuckle, she walked over to 228 and held out a golden-shod hoof, which he shook clumsily.
“Hello, 228.” she said, “I am Princess Celestia, co- ruler of Equestria.” she turned to Twilight and her friends with a massive smile that showed what could only be described as pure joy, “You have no idea how wonderful it is to be ‘co ruler’ and not just ‘ruler’.”
The Bearers smiled back at her, with Fluttershy and Twilight both looking bashful. Celestia returned her gaze to 228 and found herself locking eyes with him.
Over the eons Celestia had learned that, in order to truly get a grasp of who someone was, you had to look them in the eye and see what lay in their depths. The instant Celestia’s magenta eyes met 228’s ember-like ones she saw several very unusual things, one of which was a sort of hidden intelligence.
I wonder just how hidden it is… she wondered.
“228, Twilight told me that you appeared in Ponyville shortly after a creature called Discord first began to cause mischief, did you meet someone that looked a bit… chaotic when you first arrived in Ponyville?”
The creature scratched his head for a second before answering, “Chaotic? Chaotic….. Discord….. discord means…. dis-harmony?....Y-yesss… I think I met a creature like that, he tapped me on the head and I grabbed his wrist… after that he went away.”
Celestia blinked, “He made physical contact with you?”
228 nodded, oblivious to the shocked stares of the other ponies. Celestia narrowed her eyes and powered up her horn, “228, I would like to scan you with my magic, if that is alright with you?”
He nodded and Celestia performed a brief, but thorough scan of his body. She was surprised to find that, although he did have traces of chaos magic within his body, they weren’t powerful enough to be mind-altering.
“Twilight, I believe that you will have to tell me everything that happened after you met 228.” she said after powering down her horn. Twilight nodded and began.
An hour-and many interruptions- later the tale had been told.
Celestia and the others had taken seats around 228’s room, except for Rainbow, who had dragged cloud in, much to 228’s intense interest, which was followed by Rainbow’s annoyance when he began taking pieces off and eating them, only to grow agitated when the clout melted on his tongue.
Applejack, of course, found Rainbow’s discomfort hilarious and the humor was doubled when Pinkie joined in to see if clouds tasted like cotton candy.
In the end, Rainbow chose to sit and that was that.
After the cloud dispersed 228 busied himself with an activity that provided no small amount of outrage for Twilight: playing with Celestia’s mane. Though Celestia herself seemed more amused than annoyed and allowed him to examine the rainbow hairs with practiced grace and 228, to his credit, never once pulled, tugged or cut.
The moderately civil atmosphere changed when Twilight mentioned the sudden and gory appearance of the Leader.
As she described the Leader’s appearance, her apparent powers and the threat that she made Celestia’s face went from interested to shocked before settling on angry.
“And you say that this monster was allowed to escape after making such threats?” she asked, glaring at her student. Twilight looked away, “I guess we were still in shock, I mean, it’s not everyday you see a flying, parasitic monster that’s enhanced by Discord’s magic explode out of an alien and call you fat.”
Celestia’s angry gaze faded and she sighed. Turning to 228 she gently extracted her hair from his grasp and addressed him, “228, do you know why this… Leader creature was inside of you.”
228 nodded, “In my world I was…*Hnnnn*...test subject….. I was to be one of a new breed…..stronger, faster, unable to…..die. I was implanted….with five parasites….*Hnnnggg*....Los Plagas. *Hnnn*..... one was implanted in my spine, one was put in my liver, one in each lung and one in my stomach.”
There were horrified looks all around. Fluttershy moved to him and laid a hoof on his arm, “You poor dear.”
“Ya mean ta say that your body is filled with things like that Leader monster?” asked Applejack, looking upset.
228 averted his eyes, “Yes… they used to talk to me, but now that Leader is gone they are….sssilent.”
“They talked to you?” repeated Twilight, excitement creeping into her voice, “Princess, do you know that this means?” she asked, turning to look at her mentor, “There are telepathic alien parasites that somehow control his body’s healing factor AND they also appear to be able to manipulate his muscles!”
“Twilight, I’m not sure now is the time to be, as Rainbow Dash calls it, ‘geeking out’ about the parasites inside of 228.” Celestia deadpanned. Twilight blushed.
“Doesn’t…*hhhrrg*.... doesn’t matter….. I die if they go.” said 228 simply.
Twilight gasped, “R-really? A-are you serious?”
228 nodded and let his eyes wander back to Celestia’s mane. The princess looked at him with concern in her eyes.
“Twilight.” she started, turning to her student “I want you to do a few tests on him to see if these…. Plagas could pose a threat to Equestria.”
Twilight nodded and began to write on a freshly-conjured piece of parchment. Celestia turned back to 228, who was looking out the window at the sunny sky.
“228, would you be alright if Twilight performed some magic tests on you? I promise that they won’t hurt in the slightest.”
Instead of answering her question 228 pointed out the window and said, “There’s something out...there, on the tree branch. It….looks like a bird… but not sure if birds have udders…. or tails.”
Celestia shot upright and ran to the window. When she looked out she saw that there was indeed a large, black and white crow with a swollen pink udder and a whip-like, hairless tail perched upon a branch just outside of the window, when it saw her, the “bird” gave a call that sounded disturbingly like a guffaw before taking off.
Celestia, in a rare slip of composure, stuck her head out of the window and called, “Discord! I know that you can hear me and I swear by Faust I will end your mischief once and for-”
She was interrupted by a spray of purple milk hitting her in the face. Growling, the solar princess wiped the milk off with a hoof just in time to see the “bird” use its feathers to give her a very rude gesture before flying away.
Celestia pulled her head back in and used the curtain to finish cleaning her face, she turned around and faced her concerned subjects.
“I’m going to have some very long, very harsh words with that millennial brat when I catch him.”
“Mischief?! Sun-Butt thinks that my glorious brand of Chaos is mere mischief!?” roared Discord, slamming his paw on the arm of the throne, sending out a ripple of pure chaos magic that further distorted the surrounding area.
His cow-bird gave a foghorn shriek as it flew out of blasting range, but Discord wasn’t one to take his anger out on his creations. They were HIS toys after all and what good was a broken toy?
“I’ll show her.” fumed the draconequus, “I just need to figure out how.”
He summoned a book that was roughly the length of a small continent and floated to its very top, the cover read: DISCORD’S BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIG BOOK OF CHAOS, ANARKY, BAMBOOZLEMENT AND PRANKING SUN-ASS/BUTT/PATOOTIE/FLANK/PLACE WHERE ALL THAT CAKE SHOULD GO BUT FOR SOME REASON DOESN’T
“All I have to do is find the best plan.” he said, chuckling as he began to look through it. To most the book was impossible to read, what with its abrupt language changes, eldritch fonts and impossible colors, not to mention the fact that some pages would suck anypony who wasn’t Discord into another world.
But, to Discord, it was as easily accessible as an encyclopedia. Heck, he had even thought about calling it The Encyclopedia Discordia, but that was far too boring for his tastes.
Plus the first letters of the title spelled out: DBBOCABAPSABPFPWATCSGBFSRD
His favorite word ever.
The draconequus sifted through the pages until, at long last, he reached one that didn’t seem too bad: Find Out Where That Freaky Vampire Thing Comes From And Find Monsters From That World To Cause Havoc.
Discord’s grin could be seen from space.