//------------------------------// // Chapter 13: Assassin's Effect. // Story: The Hacker Pwny // by Chetzi //------------------------------// A/N: This chapter is a cross-over with the story Making the Best of It by Dark Lightning. Read his story, it's awesome. Let's start out with Cortez. You can choose which Shepard(Paragon, neutral, renegade) there is. Just skip the bold text that says which he is. Paragon Shepard. "Shepard-commander, Cortez is unstable in the high-ionized atmosphere that exist around the omega-4 mass effect relay. She is not from anywhere near, and significant testing has not been done." Legion said, with me and Shepard standing in the comm room. Shepard turned to Legion and said, "I know, but we don't have to time." He turned to me and said, "you're okay with this? You never really had much of choice so far." I replied with, "The collectors sound impressive, an enemy I want to fight." So far, by what I've heard, they are an advanced race of aliens with tech that just might be able to get me home. Shepard nodded and left the room. I followed behind, he went to the helm. Joker said, "Approaching omega-4 relay. Everyone stand by." Shepard said, "Be careful." A robotic voice, who everyone calls 'EDI', said, "Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledged. Jacob said, "Commander, the drive core just lit up like a Christmas tree." EDI said, "Drive core electrical charge at critical levels." Joker tapped rapidly across the holographic screen and said, "Rerouting." Then we flew next to the big red spinning thing, and I felt a tingling sensation. I looked at my hands, they were disappearing, so was the rest of me. Neutral Shepard. "Shepard-commander, Cortez is unstable in the high-ionized atmosphere that exist around the omega-4 mass effect relay. She is not from anywhere near, and significant testing has not been done." Legion said, with me and Shepard standing in the comm room. Shepard turned to Legion and said, "She'll be fine when fighting the Collectors." He turned to me and said, "Are you ready?" I replied with, "The collectors will get what's coming to them." So far, by what I've heard, they are an advanced race of aliens with tech that just might be able to get me home. Shepard nodded and left the room. I followed behind, he went to the helm. Joker said, "Approaching omega-4 relay. Everyone stand by." Shepard said, "Let's make it happen." A robotic voice, who everyone calls 'EDI', said, "Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledged. Jacob said, "Commander, the drive core just lit up like a Christmas tree." EDI said, "Drive core electrical charge at critical levels." Joker tapped rapidly across the holographic screen and said, "Rerouting." Then we flew next to the big red spinning thing, and I felt a tingling sensation. I looked at my hands, they were disappearing, so was the rest of me. Renegade Shepard. "Shepard-commander, Cortez is unstable in the high-ionized atmosphere that exist around the omega-4 mass effect relay. She is not from anywhere near, and significant testing has not been done." Legion said, with me and Shepard standing in the comm room. Shepard turned to Legion and said, "She hasn't pissed me off yet, so we're good." He turned to me and said, "The Collectors need a boot up their ass, you ready for it?" I replied with, "The collectors sound impressive, an enemy I want to fight." So far, by what I've heard, they are an advanced race of aliens with tech that just might be able to get me home. Shepard nodded and left the room. I followed behind, he went to the helm. Joker said, "Approaching omega-4 relay. Everyone stand by." Shepard said, "Don't get us killed." A robotic voice, who everyone calls 'EDI', said, "Reaper IFF activated. Signal acknowledged. Jacob said, "Commander, the drive core just lit up like a Christmas tree." EDI said, "Drive core electrical charge at critical levels." Joker tapped rapidly across the holographic screen and said, "Rerouting." Then we flew next to the big red spinning thing, and I felt a tingling sensation. I looked at my hands, they were disappearing, so was the rest of me. Then once you've read one of those, skip to what's below. Commander Shepard looked at me and yelled, "Cortez!" But, before I could say anything, he was gone. In his place, old-style buildings were expanding across the horizon. Everything looked like it was in the renaissance. What the- My thought process was cut off by someone in a white and red dress, or something covering all of him, ran past me. He almost knocked me down, but I held my stance. He kept on running past. How rude, I won't take this standing up. I ran toward him, matching his speed. I closed in, inch by inch, until I leaped and tackled him to the ground. The man said, in an Italian accent, "Do you have a problem? I'm slightly busy." He turned around and faced me. I noticed that he had two metal things wrapped around his wrists, and had a white hood the was pointed at the front. To Neon's point of view. Well, I guess I should go find them. There's no ctrl+F on this planet, so I'll just use the MTSC. It should have an auto-return feature, I put in there encase something happened. Almost like respawning, but with limits. Dangerous limits. I said, "Let's go find them. Follow me." They all started to follow me, "only me and Vinyl. The rest of you stay." Vinyl and I continued down the path, then I stopped and facehoofed. "Hey, Twilight, you mind teleporting us to Canterlot?" Her horn glowed, but Pinkie Pie came out of nowhere, and said, "Hey! That was mean! Say you're sorry! The bronies watching don't like it when you're mean to me! Their gonna make tons of videos that say how bad you are, and you should be killed off!" She then points at the grass a few feet in front of her. "And you! Hub logo! We know what show we're watching! But, I do like your taste in thumbnail. I do make the best thumbnails!" Really? Her again? I smirked and replied with, "Cotton-candy-for-hair, I wonder what would happen if we were to throw you into a meat grinder. Maybe we could make some kind of 4th wall juice. Or we could just feed you to the manticores, I hear they love pony for dinner." Pinkie went wide-eyed yet again, and then turned about 3 shades whiter. Then we teleported to Canterlot without another word. I turned to Vinyl, and noticed that she was standing right next to me. "Follow me." I led the way, to the secret locked up storage hiding the MTSC. We stepped into the room, which was much more dusty than I remember it. I walked over to the device, and powered it on. As the fans whirred to life, the screen turned on. The eerie green glow started shooting letters down. ********************** BOOT:root; kernel ********************** Starting..... Firmware booted successful. Graphics booted successful. CPU Voltage at 43%. Temp. at 72% max. All systems checked and ready for use. Process completed: 1 successful attempt out of 1 attempt. ********************* Welcome user: U:___________ P:___________ ********************* Username and Password accepted: Welcome, User: Dylansl >Search: def Cotez(no_exclusion): >Including all(Shadow.Alt) >Portal opening for increased radius. >Searching for Cortez.... >Cortez is not on this planet ************************* What? But, how? The MTSC 2.0 was set on Equestria, both I and Vinyl made it. Could something have happend? I'll have to look into this later, for now I just need to get them-There was a puddle on the floor, from a dripping pipe up above. I slipped on the puddle, and landed right through the portal. I landed on a hard surface, hitting my head. I screamed, (Play this song in the background.) "FUCK! Uhh... Where am I?" I looked around, noticing that I was still in Equestria. I suppose it's possible to be teleported in-world. Not tested, but makes sense. I turned around, facing the road, and noticed two ponies. Random intermission. "Trixie thinks that your way of talking is stupid." Trixie said, talking to Iron Will. He shouted, "Iron Will's way of talking, has ponies gawking!" "Trixie thinks talking in third-person is stupid, and you should stop." "Iron Will thinks you just don't want anypony else to talk like you." They just stood there, outside, on the grass. They glared into each other's eyes, then Trixie jumps on him and lays a big kiss on his lips. Random intermission over. The first pony I noticed was a very dark blue, with blue hair and had rings on his hoof. Unicorn. The second one was a pegasus, that was white and had yellow stripes. His hair was red and black. They just looked at me, I got up and glared at them, then said, "What do you want?" They stared at me for a while, before the white and yellow one spoke. "Pfff, attitude much?" The dark blue one said, "Shut up Thunder, hey, what are you doing here any way?" I said, "I should ask you the same question. And I really don't care what you think of me. But, I think Thunder here needs a boot up his ass." The one who I guessed is Thunder said, "Pfff, like you could take someone like me." The dark blue one said, "Sounds like a challenge." I grunted and took a step closer, then said, "When I get pissed off, I hit things. And you're pissing me off." Thunder took a step forward and said, "Care to back up that threat?" I stepped again, now right in his face, then said, "I have no intention of fighting, but I'm ready to punch someone, and you're too close." "Go ahead!" He brought his fist up, then rammed it at me, sparks of electricity flying out. Time slowed down as I thought about what to do. I brought my arm up, then slammed it onto his elbow, causing him to reel back. Then I pushed his hoof back, hitting himself in the face. I thought the electricity from his hand would hurt him, but it didn't. This means he must be made of some bio-insulator, which most are extremely vulnerable to H2O. I held his arm back, so he couldn't move. As he struggled, I said, "All I have to do is spit on you, and it might just kill you. It seems you're highly receptive to water." He twisted his torso, sending both of us spinning to the floor. He looked pissed off as I got back up. He growled, "Shadow, help me with this guy." The dark blue one took a step forward, and turned invisible. So, he bends light-waves to avoid detection. A child's game. I looked on the floor, tracking his movements by looking where he left imprints on the ground. He was trying to flank me, but I had something up my sleeve. I snapped my head around, trying to fool them into thinking I didn't know where Shadow was. Shadow came dashing toward me, I ducked, and did an uppercut straight to his jaw. He staggered back, and lost his invisibility. He held his hoof to his cheek as shadows came darting from under him. My mind raced about how to attack this new foe, but I couldn't come up with a solution in time, and a shadow decked me, sending me back a few feet as I landed on my back. My right leg was in intense pain, most likely a borderline fracture. I willed the pain away as I had to keep fighting. The shadows kept going toward me, and I rolled out of the way of their next attack. I whipped my head toward Shadow, and he looked deep in focus, tired almost. These shadows must take a lot of energy and focus. I had forgotten about Thunder, and he slammed into me, sending me back even farther. But, that was more beneficial to me than he thought. I noticed that their attacks are uncoordinated, I just need to use that to win. The shadows came at me again, and Thunder was charging at, flying. He was inches away, at high speed, and the shadows followed close behind. Thunder would hit me in 2.3 seconds, the shadows in 3.6 seconds, I had to do this chronological. I dodged the punch, and grabbed onto Thunder's wings. He shot upward, thrashing around. He reacted to the external stimuli very aggressively in the wing area. I held the base of his wings, controlling a small part of his flying. I hit a few pressure points and nerve endings to get him to abandon logic with the pain. I then smacked the back of his neck and he turned around on an attempt to get me off. This guy is extremely predictable. We were both headed straight toward Shadow, against Thunder's will. He couldn't think clearly from all the pain, but electricity started to build up, about to shock me. No need, I already thought this through. I jumped off of him, and he slammed into Shadow, with the electricity shocking him. I got up, and walked over to them. Shadow was unconscious, but Thunder was in blood-rage. He breathed heavily as he yelled, "I WILL KILL YOU!" He shot toward me, I just had to side-step. I did just that, and he whizzed past me, hitting a nearby tree. I looked over to him, he didn't move. Probably had a concussion. I walked over to Shadow, and shook him. Then he started to stir and I said, "The fight was fun, but you need to think more. I'm not your enemy here, and Thunder attacked first." I extended a hoof to Shadow, who accepted it. I pulled him up, then a series of clouds started to spark up above me. Really? Just really? I looked over to Thunder, who was up, and still pissed off. He glowed with electricity. I looked around, and saw a streetlamp within a few feet. I casually walked over to it, right as Thunder sent a lighting bolt toward me. The lighting bolt struck the metal streetlamp, as I stood near it. I then shook my head and said, "Do you even know basic electric properties? 1898 was the year that people learned that you couldn't be hurt with electricity as long as there was metal nearby. Power is nothing without intelligence, you shouldn't have even tried. I learned so much stuff from both of you, your fighting tactics, your weakness, and you never learned anything about me. Now stop." Thunder limped over to Shadow, his glare never leaving my face. I also walked over to Shadow. Once we both reached him, Shadow said, "You *huff* need to teach me how to *huff* fight like that." Thunder continued to glare at me, and I said, "Thunder, you can hate me all you want, but remember, you started this fight. You can always regret this, or you can learn from it, not make the same mistake. After all, regretting has never solved anything. That's what I learned, you should do the same. Where not so different, if you're willing to look." Thunder said, "The only difference between us is that I hate you." Shadow said, "That's a very thin line." I said, "It's the thinnest lines that define us. Let's just be friends for now." Shadow held out his hoof and said, "I agree with... what even is your name?" I said, "Neon, Neon Blaze." I shook his hoof and then let go. I then held out my hoof for Thunder. He just smacked it away and grunted. Fine by him, I don't care if he likes me. Wait, this is just too strange. No one can control lighting or use shadows to attack people, this doesn't make sense. And where's the other ponies? Shouldn't they try and help me? I mean Twilight at the very least would see this and try to break it up. Or, maybe this isn't the same place I thought it was. I have a theroy: This place is some kind of different timeline. Like, something else happened in my timeline to make mine happen, and something different happened here to make all this stuff happen. That might mean I don't even exist here, then how do I get home? I'll have to ponder this later, for now I don't think I should tell them this. "So then, what should we do?" To Vinyl's point of view. (Play this song in the background.) "DJ! PON3! DJ!" The crowd shouted in unison as I spun around on my DJ station. I was at some party in Manehatten. The dance floor was glowing and rapidly changing colors, the music had dark heavy pulses. The world got dizzy as I sat on a quickly spinning record. Not only that, I also had about 30 bottles of hard cider. Man, this was pure awesome! Then I slipped, and I went flying off the record, straight into the crowd. They caught me, still cheering. They then threw me in the air a few times while I screamed, "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" I was so drunk. I then grabbed a wall speaker, hanging on it. I swung on it a few times, and it came crashing down. I jumped off at the last second, preforming a perfect backflip onto the stage. My legs wobbled as I attempted to stand up and bow. The crowd just cheered much louder. The party was in full swing. And now let's skip to Bentley's point of view. I had my penis moving in and out of the companion cube. I had found a hole in the center, and this was just too good to pass up. My portal gun was right beside me, and GLaDoS just said, "The Aperture Science Enrichment Center advises against mating and reproducing with the Aperture Science Weighted Companion Cube." I stopped, and looked around for the nearest camera. I found it, then I put my middle finger to it and said, "Bitch, I do what I want, so suck it." And lastley, to somewhere in Ponyville. "Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude! My dream! Fuck yeah!" Said some brown pony with yellow hair. He stood there with Pinkie Pie, inside of Sugar Cube Corner. "Pink chick, I'm a pony! This is fucking awesome!" A bon-bon clone behind him said, "Can you move?" He just turned around and said, "NO U! SUCK A DICK YOU FAG!" He turned back to Pinkie Pie and said, "This is better than when Modern Warfare 3 came out! I'm gonna pwn sooooo many noobs!" A/N: Okay, so Dark Lightning is taking forever on posting this chapter on his story, so I'm just going to post this.