I paced back and forth in the living room. How was I going to find this other halfling without creeping most of Ponyville out?
I also needed to get ready for work. Shit.. this week was going to be far too busy. Who could this other halfling be anyway? It could have been any pony in Ponyville.
"Bon-Bon, what has you so anxious?"
I turned around. Lyra.
"I have a lot of shit going on, that's all."
"How was your training session?"
I shouldn't have been surprised that Lyra would be curious about that.
"I got some homework to do."
"You're good at homework."
"It's a different kind of homework, Lyra", I responded, "I need to find somepony or.. whatever the term would be for a halfling."
"The humans would use "someone" or "somebody", so maybe you can use that for halflings."
"You're a dumbass. Halflings aren't humans."
"Aren't we all a little human?"
"The same way we all are a little dodo."
"What exactly do you need to look for?"
"Clean told me that there is another halfling living in Ponyville and I need to find him or her."
"Sounds like an adventure!"
"More like trying to find a needle in a haystack."
"You're a halfling, can't you detect them?"
"Yea, but I also need to bring the halfling to Clean."
"I will gladly help you. So, what's our game plan for today?"
"Well, I have to go to..."
"Work", interrupted Lyra, "forget work. Let's play hooky."
"Barnyard Bargains needs me."
Lyra used her magic to take my cell phone. Damn unicorns and their magic.
"Lyra, please... I have to go to work..."
"No, we are finding this halfing. It's way more important than your stupid job."
"Do you want to be homeless?"
"C'mon, you can miss one day.. you barely even take vacation."
Lyra was right about that, but I couldn't.. I mean.. Rich was expecting me to come in today. I couldn't disappoint him. But this whole halfling thing was going to turn my life upside down, why not start with one day of missing work?
"Fine", I said with a sigh, "I'll call Rich and tell them that I need to take the day off."
"You're doing the right thing, I promise", said Lyra.
I hoped she was right. I began to dial, but I realized.. what if the other halfling works at Barnyard Bargains?
"Hey, Lyra", I said, "I was just thinking, what if the other halfling works at Barnyard Bargains? I could find him or her there."
"You can do that tomorrow. We barely spend enough time together as it is."
Lyra was right about that. I could see that she really wanted this to be a day for us. I looked into Lyra's eyes and said, "Okay, I will call Rich."
I dialed Rich's number.
"Hello, Bon-Bon."
"Good morning, Rich. How are you?"
"Ready for a splendid week as always! How are you?"
"Good, I was wondering if it was okay if I take an impromptu day off from work?"
"Ah, it is nice out", said Rich with a chuckle, "very well, you can have today off."
"Thank you, I will be in tomorrow."
"Enjoy."
"Thank you."
I closed the call.
"See, that wasn't so hard", said Lyra.
"I guess it wasn't."
"Now, let's find that Halfling! Where do we start?"
"Hmmm, well, I can detect other halflings through their eyes. You can't see it, Lyra, but I have green specks on my eyes which only other ponies with changeling blood can see."
"Damn it", groaned Lyra, "I was hoping I was a changeling too."
"Nope, you're only Lyra", I said kissing her.
"There's my little pervy Bon-Bon."
"Since when was a kiss perverted?"
"From you, it is", said Lyra with a wink.
"Let's go to Sugarcube Corner."
The plan for now would be to hang around Sugarcube Corner and see if I could detect any potential halflings.
A lot of ponies stopped here on a daily basis. We got there around 9 AM. Time for breakfast.
We saw Pinkie Pie bouncing around near Sugarcube Corner.
"Spring is here", shouted Pinkie Pie with glee, "spring is here!!"
I realized for the first time that Pinkie moved so quickly that I couldn't really get a good look at her eyes. Could she have been the halfling? Hiding from the changelings through her hyperactive energy? I doubted it, but it was an interesting thought.
"It certainly is", I responded with a grin.
"It also seems like you have springs in your legs from all that bouncing you do", added Lyra.
"I would tell you how I do it, but it's a secret."
"You don't trust us with the secret", asked Lyra with a playful and pouty look on her face.
"Bonnie, it's a surprise to see you here on a Monday morning", said Pinkie.
"I decided to take the day off."
"Good for you. Planning on cupcakes for breakfast today?"
"Not a bad idea", said Lyra.
"Not particularly nutritious", I commented.
"Relax", said Lyra with a loud laugh, "nutrition is for the weak!"
"Mmmm, nutrition", said Pinkie while licking her lips, "Bon-Bon, when's the next time you're going to bake?.
"Yea, Bon-Bon", added Lyra, "when's the next time you're going to bake?"
"One of these days, but for now enjoy all of the business I'm not stealing from Sugarcube Corner."
"Offer is still on the table", said Pinkie with a giggle.
A while back, I received a formal job offer from Sugarcube Corner to work for them.
Apparently, I know how to bake. I learned from my mom. However, the corporate life at Barnyard Bargains was more up my alley. There were so many ponies out there who have no business following their cutie marks.
What kind of life would a pony have whose cutie mark is a heap of garbage?
"Thanks, Pinkie, but.."
"..but you want to slave in a corporate office for so many hours that your real wage drops below the minimum wage of eight bits an hour?"
I sighed. So few ponies in Ponyville understood why this way of life was even an option. That was a way Ponyville was different than the more high-pressured lifestyle of Manehattan. Another comment was that Pinkie often seemed like such a ditz, that it was hard to forget that she was actually quite knowledgeable and intelligent when it came to most matters. The ditzy attitude was part of Pinkie's charm, I suppose.
I simply smiled and said, "Yea, Pinkie. I do."
"Not for me, personally, but hey, whatever rocks your saddle.'
I finally got a good look into Pinkie's blue eyes. The green specks weren't there. She wasn't the halfling.
"Ooh, ooh", said Pinkie, "I would like to invite you and Lyra to an extra special lunch break party!!! WHEEEEEEE!!!"
"Extra special lunch break party", I repeated.
"We would love to go", said Lyra quickly and giving me a wink.
Lyra was right. If a lot of ponies showed up, I might be able to find the halfling.
I nodded.
"Great, it will be the best lunch break party ever, but I guess I picked a bad day for you, Bon-Bon, since you're not at work and no lunch break and.."
"The whole day is a lunch break for me", I said with a soft smile.
"You're too cute", said Pinkie with a giggle, "I am hoping to see you there this afternoon."
"Where's it at?"
"Sugarcube Corner!!"
"Well, we're here already."
"Okie dokie lokie, I gotta run some errands around time, I'll see you this lunch break, la la la la!!"
Pinkie bounced off.
"Party? Nice!! This is going to be the best day for us. I wonder if a lot of ponies are going to show up", said Lyra.
"I doubt a lot. It's a dinky lunch break party. I'm expecting approximately five other ponies besides you, me, and Pinkie to show up. The population of Ponyville from the latest census is 5,003. Minus me, you, and Pinkie, there are 5,000 ponies who could be the other halfling, We would only have 1/1000 of the eligible population at the party."
"You're such a dork, Bon-Bon. Also, I bet more ponies will show up than five. It's a Pinkie Pie party."
"Yea, but it's a Monday afternoon."
"Not every pony is such a square, jeez. Also, how do you know Pinkie Pie isn't the halfling?"
"I looked into her eyes. She doesn't have the specks."
"If I was a halfling trying to hide, I would put on some special lens which would hide the specks."
"Please don't complicate things, Lyra", I groaned, "ugh, I guess we can't even rule Pinkie out yet!".
That's true. It might take more than a look in the eye. It would explain a lot about Pinkie if she was a halfling actually. Many of her fourth wall tricks would be explained by the halfling status. Pinkie could easily turn into another pony and that's how she "pops out of nowhere".
It was time for the lunch break party. I couldn't believe it. There were so many ponies at the party. I saw Mr. and Mrs. Cake anxiously running around the shop making sure they had enough sweets for all of their customers. Could one of them be the halfling? That would also make Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake quarterlings. With that guess, neither of their eyes had the specks but perhaps that didn't mean anything anymore. I needed an alternative plan to root him or her out without revealing myself.
"Why would any pony want to hide being a halfling anyway? I would think it's so cool", said Lyra.
"Don't say that too loudly", I whispered to Lyra, "you remember the camps?"
"I know.. but Celestia.. I mean, it's so cool. I mean, as a freaking changeling, you can probably give the alicorn princesses a nasty fight."
"That's the problem, I suppose."
"I still love you."
"I'm glad to hear that."
Lyra would have made a much better halfling than me. She would have found this whole predicament to be quite fun. Fun wasn't the word I would use.
There must have been at least a hundred ponies at Sugarcube Corner. The odds of the halfling being there were low, but not as low as I originally predicted. Time to do some mingling.
Lyra and I saw that the six Elements of Harmony were all together. They were an interesting group of ponies and Celestia's band of heroes.
There was Pinkie Pie, the element of laughter. Pinkie was the one I knew the best of the six. She was the one who socialized the most outside of the tight-knit group. Pinkie knew everything about every pony. Pinkie was really the only one of the group I would say I knew on a personal level actually.
There was Twilight Sparkle, the element of magic. Twilight was Celestia's star student. A unicorn who was granted alicorn status by Celestia. Twilight was incredibly intelligent and dutiful: the kind of pony who would probably stay by Celestia's side, no matter what horrible things the sun princess had done. Things would be a lot easier if she was the halfling. I wouldn't want Twilight as a foe.
There was Applejack, the element of honesty. She was a down-to-earth earth pony with a rural accent- which Lyra says is Southern- for which I responded she's a dumbass, since that's a human thing. Applejack lived and worked at the Apple farm and provided Ponyville's supply of apple products. She was a fun mare.
There was Rainbow Dash, the element of loyalty. She was a pegasus in charge of the weather team at Ponyville. She was an incredibly skilled flier. She stood out with her rainbow mane and tomboyish attitude. She was also kind of cocky and overcompetitive, but she had a good heart. She was also damn good at flying and would probably be part of the Wonderbolts someday.
There was Rarity, the element of generosity. She was a fashionista unicorn and always took good care of herself. She was the kind of mare every stallion looked at with awe. Hell, even Twilight's dragon assistant seems to have the hots for her. Rarity had a high-class attitude about her, but she was also committed to her fashion designs and seemed to really care about others.
She did blow a fit once though when I asked who she was. Not every pony knows who she is, jeez..some ego.
There was Fluttershy, the element of kindness. She took care of the animals over by the Everfree Forest. She was a timid and sweet-hearted pegasus. I didn't really know much about Fluttershy since she stays in the background. I knew that, with the exception of Pinkie, Fluttershy would be the most tolerant towards my kind.
Wouldn't things be quite interesting if one of them was the halfling? Especially, if it was Twilight Sparkle. I didn't see the specks in any of their eyes, but that apparently could be hidden.
Lyra and I approached them.
"LYRA!! BON-BON", shouted Pinkie, "I am so glad you are at the lunch break party."
"Hey there", said Applejack.
The other ponies waved at me.
"Since I'm not working, I wouldn't miss this party for the world", I said with a smile.
"I told you guys that Lyra and Bon-Bon are way cool", said Pinkie to her friends.
"I bet they can't fly like me", said Rainbow Dash.
"Oh, silly Dashie. That's because they don't have wings."
"Even if they did, I would win", said Rainbow with pride.
I had to resist the remark which came to my head: Soon, I will be able to transform into a pegasus who could fly faster than you.
"Only kidding by the way", added Rainbow, "glad to see you guys here."
"Me too."
"So, how are things at Barnyard Bargains, Bon-Bon", asked Applejack.
Rich was one of the Apple Farm's best customers. Yes, that was a family who needed my company.
"Barnyard Bargains is doing really well. Record profits this year. We're trying to figure out what to do with all of that money."
"You could give some of that money to the poor", said Fluttershy quietly.
"Perhaps, I'll ask my boss."
"Fluttershy's a socialist", whispered Lyra to me, "your money-grabbing capitalist philosophy doesn't mesh well with that."
I gave Lyra a "shut up" look and she obeyed.
"How are you two darlings doing", asked Rarity, "you're such a dashing couple."
"Great", said Lyra with a grin, "Bon-Bon and I finally get to spend a Monday together. Isn't that great?"
"I'm the luckiest mare alive, aren't I", I asked.
"You certainly are", responded Rarity, "I wish stallions were more like mares, they're all so hoity-toity."
Perhaps you're just meeting the wrong stallions, Rarity.
We then saw three fillies approach our table. A yellow earth pony with a red mane and red bow, an orange pegasus with a purple mane, and a white unicorn with a pink and purple mane. None of them had their cutie marks. Poor things. I got my cutie mark when I was around their age. Being a blank flank, among other things, was something I was teased about by my classmates. Lyra was also a late bloomer in terms of cutie marks.
"Apple Bloom", said Applejack, "shouldn't you be in school?"
"I'm on a lunch break, just like you", said the earth pony with sass.
"Chillax, AJ", said Rainbow Dash, "these ponies are too cool to school, right Scootaloo?"
"Definitely too cool for school, Rainbow Dash", said the orange pegasus.
"C'mon now", said Twilight, "we already have enough distractions which are completely dismantling our educational system. We don't need you, Rainbow Dash, saying things like that."
"Chillax, Twi", said Rainbow, "that's all I'm saying. Besides, Scootaloo is gonna become a scooter racing champ someday."
"Hopefully a scooter champ with a proper education", said Twilight with a smile.
"I'm doing fine in school anyway", said Scootaloo pointing at Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, "at least, my grades are better than those two chumps over there." Sweetie Belle's face turned red with embarrassment.
"Sweetie Belle", said Rarity, "I thought you had all As."
"We can discuss that later", said Sweetie nervously.
"Maybe we can get your cutie marks in studying", said Apple Bloom with a chipper tone.
"Boring", said Scootaloo with a yawn.
"You need to help us with math, Scootaloo", said Sweetie, "you're the only one that understands this stuff."
"Math's like the easiest subject ever", said Scootaloo, "you need help?"
"Yes, Scootaloo", said Sweetie with an annoyed sigh, "I need help."
I couldn't help to notice that Scootaloo kind of reminded me of myself when I was a filly.
"It's been a long time since I've seen all of you together. I think the wedding of Princess Cadence and Shining Armor was the last time", said Lyra.
"The Changeling wedding", said Applejack, "can't believe those blood suckers almost ruined it all, but every story in Equestria seems to have a happy ending, right?"
"You know what the funniest thing was", piped Apple Bloom, "the Changelings approached us, right? They were on the offense with me and Sweetie Belle, but not with Scootaloo."
"Yea", squeaked Sweetie Belle, "we were able to get out unscathed by hiding behind Scootaloo. The changelings wouldn't go after her at all even though they had no qualms about attacking us."
I saw Scootaloo's expression turn into one of dread. Her eyes lacked the specks, but perhaps she was the halfling. The same thing happened to me.. holy shit, she had to be the halfling. Scootaloo suddenly looked at me anxiously. She must see the specks in my eyes. Damn, I would have to get those covered up.
"Gotta go", said Scootaloo nervously, "I have um.. homework to do."
"You never do your homework anyway", commented Apple Bloom.
"I say I don't do my homework, but I do, later."
I heard the motor of the scooter turn on.
"What was that all about", asked Applejack.
"I don't know", responded Apple Bloom, "Scoot's a tad modest but she was really a hero to us that day at the wedding."
That was much easier than expected. I smiled at Lyra. I admittedly liked to consider myself the brains of the couple but, without her, I would have never discovered the halfling. Lyra suggested that a hiding halfling would hide the specks and she subtly brought up the changeling wedding. Now to find Scootaloo.
"It was really nice seeing you all", said Lyra, "but we should get going."
"Why", asked Pinkie, "do you have homework to do too?"
The group laughed. Lyra and I left. We needed to find Scootaloo.
"Scootaloo could be anywhere by now", I said anxiously.
"I wonder how good her changeling powers are."
"Clean told me that she was good at being stealthy."
I saw four unicorn stallions riding scooters together. I wondered if they were scooter champs.
"Bon-Bon, see those ponies riding scooters?", said Lyra snapping a photo of the scooter riders.
"Lots of ponies ride scooters."
"I mean", said Lyra showing me the picture, "look at the two towards the right. They look exactly the same."
"They're probably twins but.. wait.. their cutie marks are exactly the same. Holy shit.. you know what that means?"
"Let's go."
Lyra and I are trotted towards the unicorns.
"Hey there, guys", said Lyra, "such a beautiful day for handsome stallions like you to be riding out, huh?"
"Sure is", said one of them.
"Wow, hottest time of the day", said another one, "I need to get going, later."
The unicorn revved up the scooter and sped off.
"Do you know that guy", asked Lyra.
"Nope", responded one of them, "but we always welcome new scooter pals."
I began to chase after the scooter-riding unicorn leaving Lyra to chat with the three unicorns.
"He" was too fast though and "he" escaped my line of vision.
"Damn it", I mumbled, "getting Scootaloo to go with me would be harder than expected."
She also clearly was better at being a changeling than I was.
I probably wouldn't find her today, I thought sadly. At least, I knew who the other halfling was. Why would Scootaloo avoid me and Clean? I felt so stupid. It must have been obvious to her that I was a halfling and I couldn't even change into anything. I needed to find out how Scootaloo was hiding those specks.
There was no point in chasing Scootaloo anymore, maybe Clean could offer me some good hints tonight.
Suddenly, like magic, I saw Pinkie Pie. She bounced over to me. She had a little bunny on her back.
"Hi, Bon-Bon", said Pinkie while bouncing, "I'm so sad that you and Lyra had to leave early."
"I'm sad too, but we had a lot of stuff planned."
"Okie dokie lokie, I got a little friend for you." The bunny bounced off of Pinkie's back and walked over to me.
Pinkie bounced away.
The bunny glowed green and turned into Scootaloo.
"I'm not gonna run like this anymore", said Scootaloo.
"Scootaloo, I promise that I won't hurt you."
"I'm not scared of you", said Scootaloo, "I just want all of this to go away. So, you're the other halfling I've been hearing about?"
"And you're the other halfling I've been hearing about."
"I gotta admit, feels good to not be alone."
I couldn't believe I was doing this. I had Scootaloo by my side. I looked into the filly's eyes. Yes, she definitely was the halfling. The specks were hidden, but there was something else. A feeling of not belonging, a feeling of being different from the rest of the world.
"Please keep this quiet", whispered Scootaloo, "I can't have any ponies knowing who I really am."
"Don't worry", I whispered back, "I don't want ponies finding out about me either."
"Can we trust Lyra?"
"Yes, we can. She's a sweetheart."
"Okay, I'll trust her too. I know you're a very careful pony. The only ponies I can truly trust though are my mom, step-mom, and dad. There's also Pinkie, I trust her. Pinkie convinced me to go to you actually."
"So, she knows about all of this?"
"She's Pinkie Pie. She actually recommended Ponyville to my two moms, since it was safe for me and them. Pinkie's not a changeling herself, but she knows a lot about changelings - somepony who has sworn to defend us."
I smiled. I always knew that Pinkie had a big heart, but, damn, that was definitely unbelievably awesome of her.
We arrived at Clean's house. There was Clean in his changeling form.
"Bon-Bon, congratulations. You have found the other halfling much faster than I expected."
"I don't want any part of this. I just want to live life like a normal pony", groaned Scootaloo.
"I know you don't want to see the changeling race be wiped out, now do you?"
"I don't", said Scootaloo with tears in her eyes, "I just wish that all of this would be over. I don't want to lose the friends I've made in Ponyville. Life finally has some semblance of stability. I've been feeling happy."
"If they're really your friends, Scootaloo, that shouldn't change", said Clean softly to Scootaloo.
"I hope you're right", the two of them hugged, "if that's the case, then this won't be so bad."
Clean looked up at me and said, "Bon-Bon, Scootaloo is my daughter."