Not a Mariachi Band

by River Road


More confusing than Vinyl's dubstep

Where am I?

Octavia looked around, barely moving her head as she continued to play. Two of her bandmates, one of them her trusted friend Harpo (trusted with everything that didn’t involve alcohol or responsible thinking, at least), were playing alongside her, so she assumed that everything was okay, but still… Everything in her mind seemed hazy and she wasn’t sure how she had gotten here. Hadn’t she been in Canterlot with Vinyl just moments ago?

Doesn’t matter, just keep playing.

The cellist looked over her two fellow musicians as she continued to play. Both of them seemed similarly confused and uncomfortable, but neither of them missed a beat. They were professionals, after all, playing for this…

For what, anyway? Octavia noticed the foals and fillies sitting at a table and moving around, all of them looking equally confused and distressed. She wondered if this was a birthday party, or maybe one filly’s cuteceñera. It certainly didn’t look like one; there were practically no party treats, the food and decoration reminded of the nobles’ festivities in Canterlot and there was even a stuffy-looking butler. She shook her head… No little filly should have a birthday party like this. Octavia knew that for a fact, as it was exactly what she had gone through as a filly.

Doesn’t matter, just keep pla–

“Happy, happy day to– huh?!”

Octavia glanced up from her cello again. An earth pony with a quite memorable pink fur and mane had appeared, holding a two-layered birthday cake with four candles and looking around in confusion. Octavia immediately recognized her as Pinkie Pie, Element of Laughter and the pony who had nearly ruined her career, but had in the end given her a lot of recommendations from ponies like Fancypants and the Princesses themselves. Even more important, she had turned that gig into the best one she had played that whole year. It was obvious that the mare had no more idea of what was going on than any of the other ponies – including Octavia herself – had.

“Oh no, what happened here?! Where are the treats, where’s the clown? This isn’t a party at all!!!” Pinkie Pie transformed into a pink blur, doing her best to cheer up the children and showing an amazing series of entertaining feats while still leaving the cake she was carrying completely unharmed. After a short moment and some hesitant smiles and laughs from the children, she began to herd them over to where Octavia suspected Sugarcube Corner, Ponyville’s famous bakery. Another moment later the three musicians were completely abandoned, save for a rather stoic butler holding a tray of what was either food or specks of dust.

~~~~~

An hour later, the band was still playing and absolutely nothing had happened.

Admittedly, the pavement of every street seemed to have turned into pure gold, Octavia had noticed Ponyville’s Town Hall spontaneously turning into a crystal structure and the butler had set down his tray and walked off. But aside from that, absolutely nothing had happened.

For a while now Octavia had had the feeling that the butler was a lot smarter than her.

The voice inside her head telling her to keep playing had somewhat quieted down. Maybe it was bored as well. Either way, the cellist took it as a cue to take a short break, and the other two musicians followed her example.

The hors d'oeuvres were excellent, but right that moment Octavia would have preferred a simple cupcake. Ponyville was famous for its cupcakes. Maybe she could find Pinkie Pie and ask her for one…

As if on cue, the pink pony in question appeared, zigzagging over the street and looking around as if she was looking for something. Something that, judging by her search, could very well be hiding under a rock.

“Heeeey! Have you ponies seen my mariachi band?” Pinkie Pie had noticed them and moved over to their location. There was no better way to describe it – one moment she was there and the next moment she was standing right in front of them.

Octavia refrained from a comment about mariachi bands hiding under rocks, and instead just answered truthfully, “I’m afraid we haven’t seen any musicians aside from us.” The rest of her group nodded affirmatively.

“Aw, bummer. I’ve set up a gramophone for now, but I really wanted to have live music for Ocean Breeze’s birthday party.” She looked at the musicians and her ears perked up. “Hey, you guys are musicians, right? Can you play mariachi? Just for an hour or so.”

Octavia tilted her head, unsure what to reply. Neither her nor anypony else in her music circle had ever played mariachi, at least not in front of other ponies, but for some reason she began to like the idea.

No! Proper festivities need proper music! You won’t play–

Well, that made the decision easier, didn’t it? Octavia didn’t want to listen to a voice in her head, but she would most definitely not listen to a voice that sounded exactly like her mother.

“I’m sure we will manage it. It would be a pleasure.” She gave Pinkie Pie a polite smile and began to follow her towards Sugarcube Corner.

“Are you sure about the mariachi, Octavia? Shouldn’t we rather play proper m–“

Octavia turned her head to give him a glare. “Finish that sentence and I will give you the talk I have reserved for my mother.”

Harpo gulped and nodded. Every pony in the circle had met Octavia’s mother at least once, and most of them knew about Octavia’s childhood – at least as much as she was comfortable sharing. Self-preservation quickly drowned out whatever else the voice in his head might have said.

~~~~~

Octavia walked through the park along the gold-plated streets, thinking. The birthday party had ended and the three musicians had played mariachi the whole time. They had enjoyed it, and the voice in her head hadn’t shown up again. Now she was trying to figure out how exactly she had ended up in Ponyville in the first place. And how she would best get back to Canterlot, while she was at it.

“Hey Tavi, check out this tree!”

Octavia stopped, her ears perking to pick up on the voice. There was no mistaking it, no other pony could sound as loud and obnoxious as that mare.

“Vinyl, I don’t doubt that this tree is interesting, but I doubt that it is any more interesting than the last eight crystal trees you’ve shown me. We are in a park, for Celestia’s sake!”

There was also no other pony who could be nearly as frustrated with the DJ as the second voice that had spoken up. Octavia turned around with widening eyes to see herself trotting down the path alongside Vinyl, right towards her. Before she could react, the two other mares noticed her and both stopped, staring at her.

“Hey Tavi, you never told me that you have a twin sister.”

“I don’t have a twin sister, Vinyl.”

“Hey Tavi, you never told me you have a twin cousin.”

Both Octavias groaned in unison. Yes, this was definitely Vinyl, with her quite unique take on science, biology, and reality as a whole.

“I don’t have a twin cousin either, Vinyl,” the other Octavia said.

“Well, what is it then? Is she your clone? A changeling? A shapeshifting alien? Your time-travelling granddaughter who came from the future to save Equestria?”

“The last one,” both mares interrupted. Octavia stepped up to Vinyl, keeping a neutral expression. “My name is Melodia Philharmonica, nice to meet you.”

The other Octavia nodded and looked at her with the same expression. “I haven’t seen you since we tried to warn Princess Celestia about the changeling invasion.”

“What really?!” Vinyl looked between them, grinning. “That’s so awes–“

Two grey hooves smacked the back of her head simultaneously, the two Octavias showing an annoyed expression. “Stop acting stupid, Vinyl.”

Vinyl chuckled, rubbing her head. “Aww, look Tavi… She even knows your special love touch.”

“…”

The two hooves collided with the back of her skull a second time.

~~~~~

“So, you have no idea what’s going on, either?”

“Not a clue.” Octavia shrugged, sitting opposite to her doppelganger and Vinyl. Or maybe she was the actual doppelganger? “I don’t know how I got here, I just know that I was here to play on a little filly’s birthday party.”

“Oh, that sounds terrible. Who would book classical music for a filly’s birthday?” The other Octavia looked very distressed at the thought, though it was hard to notice if you didn’t know what to look for. Octavia nodded, having had similar thoughts just earlier that day.

“Aaaugh!” Vinyl threw up her hooves, groaning in frustration. “I can’t keep you two apart. That’s it, from now on you are Octy,” she pointed at Octavia, “and you are Tavi,” she pointed at the other Octavia.

The two Octavia’s looked at her, then at each other, then back at Vinyl. “Well, I guess it would make things easi–“

“Alright, who of you is next!?” a very disgruntled Princess Twilight Sparkle interrupted them, stomping towards the group. To say that she didn’t look good would be quite an understatement. “I want to just go home, and as far as I can tell, you are the last one. So, who is it?”

The ponies stared at her in stunned silence for a moment, then ‘Octy’ spoke up. “Uhm… Should we know what exactly this all is about?”

“The anomalies!” Twilight gestured around at the park that had been completely restored to normal by now. “Princess Luna, Cadence and me have been spending all day sorting out this mess, and you are the last anomaly that is left.”

Octy looked at Tavi and Vinyl for a moment, then sighed. “I am the anomaly.”

“Wait, what?! Come on Octy, don’t say something like that!” Vinyl looked from her to the Princess. “I’m sure there’s some way we can work this out. There’s got to be, right?”

Twilight sighed and shook her head. “I’m sorry, but no. We have to dispel the dark magic in Ponyville, all of it.” She looked up at Octy. “Are you completely sure that you are the one?”

Octavia thought for a while, then nodded. “I have no idea how I got here, I am not here with Vinyl and I have been hearing a voice in my head. It seems only logical to assume that I am the fake.”

“Hey, no, don’t say something like that!” Vinyl stepped between Twilight and the two Octavias, frantically gesturing at them. “Quick, run around yourselves, that way she won’t know which one is which!”

*whack**whack*

“Oww…” Vinyl rubbed her head. “Seriously, that’s the eighteenth time today.”

Octy ignored her, trotting around Vinyl towards Twilight and stopping in front of her. “Do whatever you have to do, Princess. I am prepared.”

Twilight looked from her to the two mares behind her, who were watching, nodding in sad acceptance. Then she closed her eyes and lowered her head, pointing her horn at Octy.

The cellist closed her eyes as well as she felt the alicorn’s magic wash over her, standing up onto her hind hooves and balancing herself on her cello case. There was no pain, but she could feel the magic quickly dissolving her, bringing forth whatever she might have been before she woke up as Octavia.

Goodbye Vinyl. Goodbye Tavi.

Goodbye, Equestria.