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// Mental the Mental Psychiatrist 
// Story: Daring Do's Vacation 
// by Smaug the Golden 
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	“What do you mean he’s out?” Daring cried. Twilight had given her the address of the psychiatrist, although not swiftly, for why Daring Do needed a psychiatrist was beyond her, and Daring had rushed off to find him. Much to her surprise, and the delight of her subconscious, the psychiatrist was off somewhere. 
Ooh. We can go on a quest. Let’s go find this psychiatrist. It’s like the story of Sir Geldinghad and the quest for the Hay Grail! You can go search for the hay psychiatrist. Daring almost lost the next words of the assistant psychiatrist thanks to her subconscious. 
“I’m sorry, but he’s off. He had a very stressful day, and wants a break. Could I help you?”
Daring grunted noncommittally. “I don’t know. Are you an expert in getting rid of subconscious’s and the like?” 
The assistant chuckled. “I’m not really an expert on subconscious’s, although Mental seems to be able to get rid of anything.”
“Mental, is he in?” Daring asked hopefully. If this Mental was in, maybe he could get rid of the voice in her head. 
“But Mental is the boss. He’s the one who’s out,” the assistant answered. She raised one of her hooves helplessly. “I’m sorry, but Mental said he was tired, and wanted a break for the next couple days.”
Daring sighed. “Several days? That’s too long.”
Why don’t you go looking for him? 
The assistant sighed. “If it’s really that bad, I suppose I could show you to his house. But he might get mad about it. He can be a little… Mental, I suppose, at times.”
A name with a double meaning. Goodie. Just like yours. 
“Shush. When can we leave?” Daring directed the second sentence at the assistant. She raised one of her green hooves and scratched her head. 
“Maybe in, I don’t know, thirty minutes?” 
Yes. That gives me enough time to pack.
“What in the wide world of Equestria would you pack?”
The assistant glanced quizzically at Daring. “Why, nothing of course. His house is only about a mile away.” 
Daring sighed again. “Not talking to you. Talking to my subconscious.’”
Oh, I don’t know. Maybe a few nonexistent books… Some candy… Possibly a couple sheep…
“How can you pack sheep into my head, and for that matter, why?”
I’m a subconscious, I do as I please.
The assistant held out her hoof. “Um, I’m Psyche. Nice to meet you, and tell your subconscious that I’m pleased to meet him too.”
Daring sighed. She held out her hoof and shook Psyche’s. “I’m A. K. Yearling, but my friends call me Author.”
Psyche nodded. “You wrote the Daring Do books, didn’t you? It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Tell her I’m charmed. 
“My subconscious tells me to let you know that he’s charmed.” 
“Hm. Does he have a name? I can’t keep referring to him as ‘your subconscious.’ That would get kind of annoying.”
Hm. Do I have a name? Should I pick one? Let’s see, I’ve always liked Bedlam, Anarchy, Pandemonium, Disruption, and Melody. Which do I choose…?
Daring sighed once more. “He’s picking.”
“Let me know when he’s decided.”
Or should I do Cacophony… Hm, too annoying. Harmony…
Daring sat down. “You might want to get ready. He’s busy picking a name. I’ll tell you once he’s decided.”

Thirty-five minutes later, as the subconscious had taken a little longer than expected to decide on a name, and the trio had started off for Mental’s. Bedlam, as the subconscious had decided himself, had apparently done his packing while the duo were getting ready, and Daring couldn’t get the bleating for sheep out of her head. 
“How on earth did you fit sheep into my brain?” Daring asked Bedlam as the trio was walking.
I will leave that to your imagination.
“Which means you don’t really know.” 
I do know, but I am not going to tell you.
“You just don’t want to admit that you don’t know.”
Psyche turned towards Daring. “What are you two arguing about? I understand that you’re talking to your subconscious, or Bedlam, or whatever his name is, but what are you talking to him about?”
“Apparently he was able to pack sheep into my brain. I don’t know how, and he refuses to reveal how, so I think he doesn’t know how he did it. He says he does know how he did it, but just doesn’t want to tell me.” 
I do know, but I’m just not going to tell you.
“You say that, but how do I know that you’re telling the truth?”
Psyche nodded. “So that’s what you’re arguing about. I always wondered what it would be like to have a conversation with my brain. Is it fun?”
Daring shook her head. “No. Why do you think I’m going to see Mental if I don’t want Bedlam out of my head?”
Psyche shrugged. “I suppose you have a point. But what is Bedlam’s opinion on the matter? Does he like having a conversation with the brain, or should I say, himself, or is it herself?”
Wow. She made me more confused than you ever have in that one little sentence.
“I agree with you Bedlam. For once I do. Anyway, Psyche, he really doesn’t have an answer to that. You seem to have, um, exceeded his mental capacity at the moment,” Daring grinned. If Bedlam got confused, may he would leave her alone. 
Don’t count on it.
“Oh come on. Can’t you cut me some slack?” 
Psyche grinned. “Talking to me or him?”
“I don’t care! Let’s just get to Mental’s!” Daring shrieked. “It seems like you and my subconscious are teaming up to get the better of me! Why is everypony out to get me?”
I don’t know. All I know is that Ahuizotl and a few others were out to get you, but I don’t know why.
“How can you not know why they are out to get me? You are a subconscious for crying out loud!” 
Exactly. A subconscious has low brain power. 
“You are contradicting yourself more and more. First you say that you don’t have high brain power, and then you say you do. Next you seem to be able to fit sheep in my brain. What’s next, the ability to predict the future?”
Maybe. 
“Argh. Psyche, can we hurry up towards Mental’s? Bedlam is driving me nuts.”
Psyche nodded. “Sure. He’s just down this path.” The duo, or trio, or is it quartet, nah, that’s four… anyway, the trio walked down the path a brisk pace. 
Just you wait. When we get there, we’re going to have some fun. 
“Great. Bedlam thinks he can predict the future,” Daring grumbled. To her surprise, when they arrived at Mental’s, it seemed that Bedlam had been… Correct. 
Told you. 
Psyche gasped in horror. “Who would trash Mental’s house?” And trashed it was. Several windows were broken, and the door was hanging loosely. 
Daring walked up to a note pinned to the door. “Um, Psyche, I don’t think anyone trashed it. Look here.” She handed the note Psyche.
Psyche looked down it quickly, reading in her fear. “This is Mental’s… If you want to speak with me, I’m out… Busy in the Everfree with an evil plan to take over Equestria… Psyche; if you’re hungry, there are some oats in the pantry. Mental’s trying to take over Equestria? Why? How, and most importantly, where are those oats?”