//------------------------------// // The Pegacursor Saga // Story: Appledashery // by Just Essay //------------------------------// “I’ll do it.” Lancie swiveled around the dresser’s edge from where the statue tried fitting on sunglasses that were twenty-times the size of its skull. “You’ll do what?” Rainbow Dash snarled, then batted the shades out of his stone talons. “What do you think, ya stupid melon fudge?!” She stomped her front hooves. “I’ll find your stupid shard and get it back to you!” “Hmmm…” He leaned back against a dormant lamp and folded his arms. “How disappointing.” “In what friggin’ way?” “I know my grammar is as stiff as a corpse in winter, but I could have sworn you just said ‘shard’ singular there.” “That’s because I did,” Rainbow Dash said, glaring his way. “Consider this whole thing a test run. After all, I’m not entirely sure if I should trust you yet.” “And whyyyyyy nottttt?” He reached up, turned the lamp on, and angled the shade so that the light made his big rock eyes sparkle. “I’m adorabllllle!” Rainbow bluntly bucked the lamp over. “You’re a turd. A smelly one at that. And if there’s a snowflake’s chance in Tartarus of giving a lamp like you a rub for improving Applejack’s life--somehow--then I’m up for a good challenge, no matter how stupid it is.” “Meh. Very well.” Lancie shrugged, pacing along the dresser’s edge. “You finished yet with your dreadful monologue? Because I’d very much like to get this fetch quest over with.” “No, I’m not finished.” Rainbow leaned forward, frowning. “The first moment--the first damn hint that you’re anything but genuine, then--I swear to Luna--you’re going straight to Noir’s locker--” “And I’ll have my nipples hooked up to the torturous electromagnetic core of Deep Saros Nine… yadda yadda yadda… forgive me if I’ve heard it all before.” He gave her a fanged smirk. “I’m just intrigued that you turned a new leaf.” “No leaf turning about it,” Rainbow Dash muttered, pacing toward the far end of her bedroom. “Just reminding myself where my place is.” “And where is that, exactly?” Rainbow lingered by her bed, staring listlessly out the window into cold night. “Sometimes you don’t have to be made out of stone to be alone.” She gulped. “All you gotta do is be a living pedestal in everything you say or do.” “Love means never having to say you’re sedimentary.” Rainbow’s head swiveled to glare at him. “What?!” He shrugged with a smirk. “Just trying to contribute!” ”Don’t,” she grunted, tossing the duvet aside and crawling into bed. ”You suck.” “Only when the world blows,” he said with a bow. “Smart idea, by the way.” “Mmmmf… what?” Rainbow grumbled from the bed across the way. “Getting some shut-eye. You’re gonna need it, Sparky.” “Mmmfnngh…” Rainbow tossed the pillow over her ears, turning away from him. “Whatever. Just point me in the right direction tomorrow morning.” “I’ll do even better! I’ll show you the way there!” “No!” She sat up, tossing him a frown. “You’re staying right here!” “And miss out on all the fun?! Just how do you expect to find where the shard is on your lonesome? You’ll need your personal little GPS!” “GPS?” “Yes! Moi!” He waved a hand suavely before his haggard features. “Your Garish Positioning System!” “Euuuuugh…” Rainbow burrowed her way back beneath the sheets and comforter. “Good night, Lancie.” “Just you see! We were made to work together! I’ll be the Maretin to your Lewis! The Flim to your Flam! the Jak to your D--” “I said good night.” Lancie slumped down on his rocky haunches. He smirked. “...and, who knows, you just might have fun. It’ll be an adventure, after all.” He curled up like a stone serpent on the dresser’s edge and was silent. Rainbow Dash’s glossy eyes stared beyond the edge of the bed. She sighed, then murmured. “The greatest adventure is making sure she stays happy.” The room was quiet. Lancie hissed, “If you’re about to say the six words again, want me to fetch some bongos for backround ambiance?” A pillow flew across the room and slammed him against the nearby wall. He plunged loudly into the wastebasket, rattling to a stop. A beat. “So, is that a ‘no?’”