You know, I’m starting to enjoy this vacation. The pair, well, Daring Do and the voice in her head, which she had decided was her subconscious, had been stuck in the Ponyville library. It had been the only place with a room, and the only reason they had found that out was because there was room for about a hundred ponies, because Pinkie Pie had been able to fit that many into it with ease for her welcome party.
“Yeah, well, I’m not enjoying it.” Daring Do grumbled to the voice. “We’re stuck in a library with a big fan of my adventures, and I’m stuck wearing my fake disguise.”
Aw, but I thought you liked wearing your disguise. Was that sarcasm she detected?
“No, I do not enjoy wearing my disguise. That was only so that I could avoid being discovered.”
Of course it was. You could have, I don’t know, revealed that they were real stories?
“I couldn’t have done that. Then I would have been stormed by fans. Besides, I like my privacy.”
I know that. I’m living inside your brain. Of course I know that. I know everything you know, and then some.
“Fine, then what am I thinking of?” Daring Do smirked, which kind of odd, as was a pony with wide glasses smirking in an empty room.
You’re thinking of... Tap-dancing conga tarantulas!
“Um, no. What in the wide world of Equestria is a tap-dancing conga tarantula?”
I have no idea. I saw the name somewhere, and I liked it.
“Where in the wide world of Equestria would you see the name tap-dancing conga tarantula?”
I’m just as perplexed as you are. Where I would see the words tap-dancing conga tarantulas is a mystery. Just deal with it.
“Subconscious, sometimes I think you are crazy. That fact disturbs me, because as my subconscious, that means that I am also partly crazy.”
Who cares?
“I do for one!” Daring Do cried out. “If I’m crazy, then that means I’ll probably end up in a hospital or something!” This time the outburst was so loud that it alerted some of the ponies downstairs.
Spike, which was the name of that little purple dragon, according to the librarian, poked his head up. “Everything ok? I heard you yelling something about being crazy. Is there a problem? Some of Twilight’s books can make you feel like you’re crazy. I remember one time, when I opened Twilight’s copy of Ghosts, goblins and other ghoulish figures. I mean, come on, who has ever heard of a ghost called a poltergeist? That’s just silly.”
Daring Do sighed. This was definitely the worst vacation she had been on. The fact that her subconscious kept nagging her didn’t help.
Hey! That wasn’t very nice to think. You hurt my feelings.
“Not my fault. If you want me to avoid hurting your feelings, leave my head.”
Spike took a step back. “Um, okay…”
“Not talking to you. Talking to my subconscious,” Daring snapped at the baby dragon. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to figure how I am going to get out of this town.”
But we’re on vacation!
“This vacation is ruined thanks to you!” Daring screeched at the top of her lungs. Spike fled down the stairs, doing his best to escape the raging author-pegasus. “You wouldn’t tell me that the creepy fan girl lived here, and you didn’t tell me the train broke the space-time continuum! Some subconscious you are!”
In all fairness, I tried to tell you. You just wouldn’t listen.
“If you had been a bit nicer, maybe I would have listened to you,” Daring Do growled, her teeth bared in an almost feral way. “You’re the one who takes it for granted that I should listen to you.”
You should. It’s your choice you don’t. Sometime, I think I’ll see if I can take a vacation away from your head.
“How can a subconscious take a vacation?”
I don’t know. However, next there’s a subconscious convention, I’ll bring it up.
“There’s a subconscious convention? How do you even go to those?”
I don’t know that either. I’ll ask that at the next subconscious convention as well.
“May I point out that you just proved that there aren’t subconscious conventions? If you don’t know how to get to them, how do you get there?”
I have no idea. However, I can go to them for some reason. Being a subconscious has its perks.
“How on earth can a subconscious do that?”
As I said before, being a subconscious has its perks. Why don’t you figure that out? Then, you can write a story called ‘Daring Do and the Quest to Outwit Her Subconscious.’ Fans all over the world will buy it, and you’ll strike it rich.
“You know what, how about I don’t do that. Then, I won’t write it, and then I’ll be able to stay sane.”
Aw. What’s the fun of staying sane? For that matter, what’s the fun in making sense?
“Subconscious, you sound like Discord. What is up with that?”
I don’t know. How do I know about tap-dancing conga tarantulas? Some things are best left a mystery.
“But I don’t think one of them is how certain beings break the laws of time and space, and are also insane.”
Maybe not, but I’m not a being. I’m a subconscious. I don’t assign myself to the riffraff. I’m too clever.
“Three days ago you said that you didn’t possess the intellect to figure out whether or not you were my subconscious. Now you think that you are my subconscious, and that you’re smarter than most other intellectual beings. What’s up with you contradicting yourself so often?”
I can do what I want. You however, are stuck with the boring mundane life as a Pegasus.
“Being a pegasus is not mundane. We are drawn to the sky, not the ground.”
Then you’re airly. Is that a word?
“No it is not.”
Yes it is. I made it a word.
“Subconscious, you are not supposed to make words up. That’s for the people who make dictionaries.”
Tell that to that pink party pony. She recently added nervicited, sparklerific and several others I can’t remember to the dictionary.
“I don’t remember seeing them in the dictionary.”
Pull the dictionary off the shelf.
“Fine. But I think this will end badly,” Daring Do replied. She trotted over to the nearest shelf, but was unable to find the dictionary. She went down the stairs, and began her search. As she was searching, Twilight, was that the name of that librarian, came up to her.
“Um, what are you looking for?” Twilight asked, her gaze perplexed, but not concerned, as Daring was pulling almost every book off the shelf in search of the dictionary.
“Can’t talk right now. Trying to prove to my subconscious that nervicited and sparklerific aren’t words.”
“Oh. Those are Pinkie’s words. You need a dictionary. Here,” Twilight said, using her magic to levitate the book Daring to see.
“Thanks.” Daring grabbed it and flipped through the book towards where the imaginary words were. When she found the page that it should have been on, her mouth dropped open.
Told you it was a word.
“Twilight, do you know the address of the nearest psychiatrist?”
So you are going to write ‘Daring Do and the Quest to Outwit her Subconscious.’ What fun.
“Be quiet.”
Nah.