//------------------------------// // Coaching 101 // Story: Of mercenaries and.... Ponies? // by Lion Tale //------------------------------// Knock, knock. Twilight mumbled, “Five more minutes Celestia.” Knock, knock, knock. “Please Celestia, I slept late.” Bang, bang, bang. Twilight’s eyes shot open. “Oh, oops. Hehe.” She looked at the clock, it was exactly midnight. Bang, bang. “I’m coming, and please stop banging the door!” She yelled, hoping that the baby dragon—scratch that, teenage dragon—wouldn’t wake up. Spike really wanted those times to sleep; it was already difficult to get him to help her without falling asleep. The unicorn opened the door with her magic, “Hello can I—“ “Skip introductions, do you mind if I crash here tonight?” “Oh hi there Richard and no you can—“ “Cool! I knew you were willing to help this whole time.” He interrupted. “Where are your bags?” She sat, folding her forelegs. There were no more room to sleep; the couch was taken by Soldier, and the extra guest room was taken by Sniper. Unless… No, that would never work! “I don’t have anywhere for you to sleep, so you can—“ “Of course you do have room for me to sleep you purple unicorn,” Richard patted her head. “It’s called sharing a bed, no snuggling of course. I had to leave rainbow pony because of that.” Twilight grunted, “Fine! It’s up the stairs, first door on the right.” The unicorn wanted some tea, but it would just keep her up. Richard started walking up the stairs, leaving the lavender alicorn wondering what went wrong with between Dash and Richard. She sighed, then shook her clear of the thoughts, and proceeded with going back to sleep. When she opened her bedroom door, Richard was already sprawled on the bed, leaving a nice sized half of the bed for her. At least he’s aware of me. She climbed on the bed, trying to keep away from the human. As soon she got comfortable and ready to fall into dreamland, Richard took his arm and slung it over Twilight. She made a small beep, and then fell back asleep, hoping no-one saw them sleeping like this in the morning. (…) Twilight awoke to a manly yelp, she looked up, but her head couldn’t see who was at the door because of Richard’s arm in the way. “Wait! It’s not what it looks like!” “Of course it’s not,” Sniper’s voice was said. “Either that or Richard’s …” He trailed off. “What,” Twilight panicked, “What’s wrong?” “Well, I was going to say that if he was to lay with you, his shirt would be on your side. But I found the shirt, it was covering the lamp,” He said. “So, what does that mean?” she struggled to escape Richard’s arm, but it was like he was trying to use her like a teddy bear. Sniper shook the bed ferociously “It means that he was just making himself comfortable,” Richard mumbled in his sleep “But it sounds like he’s waking up, better have act like you’re still asleep. He likes to be first to wake up, makes him more, well, confident and more cocky. We usually don’t have an explanation why, but it is what it is mate.” Before Twilight could reply, Sniper was out the door, leaving a very confused pony next to a waking human. She put her head on the pillow, and acted like she was sleeping. Richard opened his eyes to find the snoring, lavender pony under his arm. She was fluffy and fuzzy like a teddy bear, but something he wouldn’t want to sleep with every night — the wings were really bony. He rose from the bed, and searched for his shirt. He found it on the pony’s side, but he didn’t know how it got there. Richard saw another shirt on the lamp, but it wasn’t his, it was Soldier’s. Once he walked out to the hallway, Sniper was standing across the door against the wall. “So how long purple pony was awake?” Richard asked, slipping the shirt over his head. “Oh about ten minutes before you did,” Sniper smiled and then crossed his arms. “I also told her about how you usually threw your shirt around when you sleep; but instead, I switched your comfortable way with the other way.” Richard chuckled then leaned against the door way. “So, do you know where the kitchen is? I’m going to see if I could drink all of their OJ if they have any.” Sniper adjusted his hat. “Good luck with that, the purple dragon that also lives here loves it. That little bugger will be giving you a beatin’ if he ever finds you drinkin’ his stuff.” Richard chuckled then started to walk down the stairs. “That’s sounds like he needs to share one with others one day.” “Well he is a dragon.” “Dragon? Pssh, I’m from Boston,” He flexed his biceps. “If I survived the Boston Marathon, I could survive anything!” He put his fist into the air like he was holding something invisible there. Sniper laughed, and started to follow Richard down the stairs. “You were already done and gone. By the time the bomb went off, you were already in your hotel room calling some girls that gave you their numbers.” “By the way, has it already been a year since it had happened? If it has, well, I can say I’m no longer expendable.” He stretched his arms in more ways than one. “We’re usually never expendable, especially with that one girl you usually try to hang out with.” “Who would that be,” Richard put a finger to his chin. After a moment of thought, he gave an expression of realization, and then shook his head. “I have no idea who you are talking about, but I have a feeling it’s that one girl that tried interview us that one day.” “The one that worked for the old announcer?” “Yea, I think that was her. But anyways, you need to show me where the kitchen is.” Sniper pointed to a door, next to it was a sign that said ‘kitchen’. “Oh,” Richard said. “I knew that!” Sniper rolled his eyes then opened the door leading an empty room. Richard walked to the fridge and opened it. Since it didn’t have a light to show him what was inside, it was difficult to find it. But he found it hiding behind a sign that said ‘Spike’s stuff! Don’t touch or I’ll HM01 you.’ I bet he doesn’t even get the original reference of that. Richard grinned. He suddenly had a quick flashback of his times on the school bus playing his Gameboy. It was a fun time of playing Yellow, Crystal, Red Rescue Team, Firered, and the occasional Nintendo DS game here and there. But it was difficult whenever it came to his junior year, his brothers loved to take his games. But he also had sports to take care of, especially Track and Field. No one ever defeated him in his field of expertise; especially when it came to the 1800 distance race. The Bostonian took the cap off the jug, and started to chug it. Once he had finished the container, he threw it into a fireplace in the living room, and it had exploded. Huh, looks like I should throw more stuff into the fireplace and watch it explode more often. But, once the container exploded, Soldier suddenly burst into the kitchen with his shotgun loaded. “We are being attacked men!” He shouted, jerking his head side-to-side looking for intruders. “Whoa there pal,” Richard lifted his hands defensively. “Nobody is attacking us, something just exploded in the fireplace.” Soldier stomped towards the fireplace and stared at it. He grunted, and unloaded his gun. “Alright then, what’s for breakfast? I’m craving for some eggs, toast, milk, and bacon.” His mouth started to drool at the mention of bacon. “Everything but the bacon, we’re having oatmeal instead.” Everyone turned to see the lavender alicorn, still wearing her bed-hair; which was somehow stylized to look like she went insane. “Spike,” She yelled upstairs. “Can you please make us some breakfast? Oh and don’t forget to remind me that I need to get some more OJ.” “What!” A loud roar came from outside the door, shaking the tree — Tree? Richard thought — and the residents down to the core. Soldier flipped a table over, and cowered behind it with his helmet between his legs for safety. A loud slam came from the door to show a four-foot tall, purple dragon. Steam came from his nostrils and his eyes were flickering white. Richard jumped into Sniper’s arms —Scooby-Doo style mind you —, and then Sniper jumped on Twilight’s back. Twilight facehoofed and then used her levitation spell to get Sniper and Richard off her back to place them on a chair next to the flipped over dining table. “Spike,” Twilight patted his head. “What did I say about scaring our new friends?” He looked around, and was shocked to see the humans were almost in terror. Then he looked down and then mumbled something. “What was that?” Twilight put her ear next to the dragon’s mouth. “I’m sorry.” “Good!” She smiled. “Now could you please make some breakfast, I wouldn’t want my favorite assistant to suddenly become a second after my pet.” She gave him a smug look. “Challenge accepted,” He did a somewhat salute and tied a pink apron to himself. The three mercenaries sat there, wondering how she had calmed him down so quickly. Or was it just that he’s bipolar? Whatever the cause, it had somehow saved them from getting burned. Twilight looked at the humans with a curious look. Why are they afraid of Spike? It’s not like he hurt anypony; but then again, I’ve never introduced them to each other. “Say Spike,” The dragon looked up from the stove. “You want to meet our guests?” He nodded. “Well Spike, meet Soldier,” The human stood straight up, and then saluted. Before getting back down, he put the table in its rightful place and sat in a chair. Twilight pointed with her hoof to another, “That’s Sniper, although he talks funny, he can be a nice person.” He smiled, and lifted his hat off. “Pleasure to meet you Spike, my name is Nick. But you may call me Mr. Mundy” He replaced the hat back to its original spot, hiding the somewhat bald head. Twilight finally pointed at Richard, who happened to try and balance a pencil on the bridge of his nose — what is that and where did it come from? Twilight thought. “His name is Richard and—“ “So that’s what his name is,” Spike interrupted, crossing his arms. “Tell me this, why was he laying with you in bed?” She blushed, and then she looked down, trying to hide in the shadow of her hair. “He just needed a place to sleep, so I let him sleep in my bed.” Spike raised an eyebrow at the mention of that. “I-I mean, he didn’t do anything!” She stammered. “H-he was already asleep when I walked in.” “Uh-huh,” Spike nodded. He glared at Richard, who apparently didn’t take any notice in the conversation. But whatever the white things that sticking out his ears where doing, it wasn’t helping him listen. “So, do you have a say in this?” Mr. Mundy poked in Richard on the back. He took out his headphones, which happened to be blasting indie rock songs. “Yea?” He looked to find the dragon looking daggers at him. “Need anything?” Spike nodded. “What did you to Twilight last night?” “Nothing, I just used ink to put some pictures on her stomach and face,” He grabbed the alicorn and moved some fur to reveal writing like; ‘I’m a berry’, ‘my hair is stoopid’, and ‘my horn is faek’. There was also a triangle with an eye in it on her chest, a mock replica of her cutie mark surrounding her mouth, a ninja fighting a horrible drawing of a pony on both sides of her belly, and to top it off; coloring around her eyes to make it look like she had glasses. Spike tried to not laugh at Richard revealed the ink marks, but he finally let it go when Richard shown the glasses on her face. Twilight looked at the two. “What’s wrong?” She started to panic but then grew a frown when she had seen the drawing on her belly. “Oh haha, now get me a mirror.” The human were trying to not laugh, but as soon as Richard came back from Twilight’s room with a full-body mirror, she gasped and it triggered the endless wave of laughter. Spike held his side, trying to get some air inside of his before talking. “You… should... see the look on your... face,” He wheezed, then fell onto his back in another laughing fit. Richard stood up, then ushered everybody to calm down after seeing the alicorn in near tears. “Don’t worry,” he patted twilight on the head. “It was just a harmless joke, no need to get so frustrated with it. Just remember that you might need to take a bath to get it off,” He licked his thumb and started to remove ‘My name is Sparkle-Butt’ that was written on her left side next to her cutie mark. But it had smeared across her mark and he tried to remove it before getting a beep from Twilight. “Please don’t touch my cutie mark,” she coughed, moving away from him. “It’s something personal, and I’d rather clean it myself.” Richard understood and backed away, not wanting to give anybody the wrong idea. “Alright,” he stood. “Does anybody have any idea on what we are doing today?” Nick started to answer, but Spike interrupted by burping fire. “Hey! Point that somewhere else mate! I don’t need any more scars!” Spike apologized and picked up a scroll that came from the flames. He unrolled it and started to read it. Richard ate his meal of eggs and oatmeal, and then sent Twilight up the stairs to bathe and grabbed himself a can of BONK! before sitting down. Not wanting to be in anyone’s business, he went back to listening to his music filled with rock songs and jazz. After a couple of songs, Mr. Mundy poked him with his scattergun and gave it to him. “What’s this for?” he asked after pulling out the little buds. Nick grinned. “We’re going to be teachers on how to use our weapons,” he gave his Machina a quick look before adjusting the high-quality scope. ”And that means you have to work with Dash.” “You mean I have to teach Rainbow Dash how to use my weapons?” he scoffed. “I am not gonna do that. I’ll die before I have to be near that little fluff-ball again.” “Not before I cuddle you to death,” a female voice from outside the kitchen said. Richard looked out from the kitchen, and saw that Twilight’s friends came walking in the front door. There was also a red stallion and a zebra, but he didn’t know who they were but they seemed to be talking quite friendly towards the others. Rainbow Dash was hovering by the door, giving her the ability to hear about what’s going on inside the room. Richard gave a grin, then slammed to door, and looked around the room to find that the dragon somehow disappeared. “Any idea where that scaly thing went?” “He left about twenty minutes ago after eating but he’s outside,” Nick said while polishing his weapon. “Soldier is already outside and talking with Spike; Twilight already bathed, but she’s waiting for me; and the rest of our teammates will be here shortly once they had gathered their weapons.” Richard sighed, and then walked out to the main room where he was suddenly tackled by Skittles. “I’m going to start teaching you how be awesome like me,” she said, raising a hoof towards her chest. “You mean how to be less awesome?” he picked up the pony and placed her on the couch. Dash laughed at his remark then got up and poked him. “I’m already the very best, nopony ever was,” she was prodding his chest with every word she said. “And I’m going to prove it by being the faster than you!” He laughed and then picked up his scattergun. “Well the plan is that I’m going to teach you how to use this baby,” he loaded a few shells into his Baby Face Blaster, and then aimed it at Dash’s head. “But first, I must teach you how to use the basic scattergun,” He placed the Blaster on the ground. “Did you at least grab my duffel bag?” Dash put a hoof on her chin and then smiled sheepishly. “Of course I did, I just placed it somewhere else.” She went flying out the door, leaving a small rainbow trail behind her. By this time, every team member was there and busy talking with their respective partners. Dell was talking with Applejack about how the mechanic of his devices worked; Heavy was eating a sanvich while the red stallion was just standing there eating a granny smith; Demoman was drinking from his bottle while the zebra was speaking in rhymes — is she a rapper of some sort? Richard thought; Nick was talking with Twilight how hold a gun without her magic; Pyro was listening to Pinkie Pie (without her suit of course), then saw Richard looking at her and she mouthed ‘Help me’; Medic was having an intense debate about how he could help heal Fluttershy’s animals quicker, but she didn’t trust the medigun just yet; Spy surprisingly had his mask off — he had the look of an unshaven beard and short black hair — and was talking to Rarity about the disguise kit; and there was the uniformed German Shepard that was just sitting next to Richard, lolling his tongue and wanted to be petted. Richard did what the dog wanted and waiting for Dash to reappear, she soon did and before she wanted to talk more about how the scattergun that had her cutie mark and her coat color, Twilight interrupted everybody with an announcement. “Everypo-body, please follow me and the sooner we do, the sooner that we can learn from our partners,” she started walking out the front door, leading the mass group out into the mid-morning day. Everypony was staring at them with glee because not only that they had saved the people in Los Pegasus; they had also defended against a villain and claimed the land for the solar princess. Some were from the city and wanted to congratulate the mercenaries and wanted some autographs. Dash wanted to be popular like them, but she knew it’ll come when she joins the Wonderbolts, if not fighting for Celestia. While the mercenaries were signing things from books to weapon fragments from the battle, the ponies were whispering into their ears urging them to hurry up. Unfortunately Richard was just eating it up, more like gobbling or wolfing it, leaving Dash a bit jealous of him. Once the crowd had died down, Richard noticed that a couple of mares wanted to be with him a bit more, but Rainbow Dash grabbed his shirt before he got any further; leaving the poor mares daydreaming what would happen if the weather pony decided to not be selfish and share. More walking led out to the town park, a wide and vast place to start shooting. Richard placed his duffel bag on the ground and grabbed some rope from it. He looked around to find Dash talking to Applejack. Once he gotten close enough, he tackled Dash and tied her wings to her body. Applejack watched, but didn’t even lift a hoof to help her pegasus friend. Once he finished, Dash sat there trying to remove the rope. But he had tied a knot that could only be removed by cutting it. “Now, the first thing that you must know is that your enemies are people that cannot fly,” by now, she had stopped struggling and stood up. “Then that means I have a greater advantage,” she exclaimed. “But it’s not fair,” he lifted a finger to her mouth so she couldn’t respond. “The first thing about this battle is that we all walk on the ground. The only reason we would fly is that is everyone was able to fly, but we all walk on the ground. Now, let’s begin with sprinting and running long distances, and once you got the hang of that, then maybe we could learn how to double jump.” (…) A small bottle of cola stood and the stand. Ping! The bottle fell, but then was placed back up with a purple aura. Ping! The bottle had fallen over again. “Nice shot mate,” Nick said, showing her how to load another clip into the basic sniper rifle. “Two in a row, ought to give you my job. Now let’s try and shoot moving targets shall we?” Twilight lit her horn and the purple aura surrounded the bottle once more, but instead, it was moving in an unorthodox fashion; up, down, left, right, and even forwards and backwards. She focused, and then let a round loose. It hit the bottle, but it didn’t go down. She let another fire, but this time it had hit the top of the bottle, shattering it into fragments of glass. Twilight grinned, and then looked at Nick who was giving her a look of satisfaction. “Now, you must know that your enemies are not simply bottles of cola. They are changelings and would most likely look like your teammates in red colored clothing.” “But, what if a teammate decides to try and attack me?” she asked in wonder. “Then by all means kill them,” he paused, letting that one sink in. “the best possibility is that you cannot harm them, but sometimes they get hurt. If this happens, use your blade if they are close, or use your SMG when they are at a medium distance. Most of the time, the one trying to attack you that’s on your team is an enemy Spy. They will try to backstab you, but you have to be careful about letting one go. They sometimes turn invisible by what’s called cloaking.” Twilight looked at her rifle then back up at Nick. There were so many things to learn, but hopefully the next assignment is not really difficult. “Anything else I should learn?” Nick thought for a second. “Nope, there’s not really much that I can teach you now. Most of the things you will be learning will be on the battlefield and can only be learned by experience.” Once he had said that, Spike landed after falling from the sky. His feet were a bit charred and he had the Rocket Jumper on his shoulder. “Woohoo! That was fun! Hey Jane Doe, you think you can teach me more tricks?” Soldier appeared and then patted the dragon on the head. “Of course private, never seen anybody so eager about this before,” he smiled. “That’s because we don’t want to get blown up at the first shot mate!” Nick exclaimed. “Hey! It took me weeks to master the art!” Soldier pointed a finger towards Nick. “It took me days you old geezers!” Pyro appeared with Pinkie in a similar suit, both holding multiple versions of the original flamethrower. “Hey Jennifer,” Pinkie stood on her hind legs. “Watch this!” She pointed the flamethrower at her feet and then used the air compression to launch herself from the group of people. “Wee…” she trailed off, flying through the air until she became a speck in the sky. With a twinkle, there was a flash of light where she had disappeared and there was also a small ting sound. Jennifer facepalmed and then walked in the general direction of the party menace, leaving the group to wonder how Pinkie would be able to get back. Twilight nudged Nick knee. “I think it’s time for everypony to gather up again.” He looked up to the sky, and saw that the sun was soon going to touch the shortest mountain. He agreed and started to follow the alicorn. Richard jumped over Nick with Dash trailing behind only by a fraction, and also double-jumped whenever he did. “Looks like we now got two hotheads we got to worry ‘bout,” Nick queered. (…..) Apparently, once everybody appeared at the middle of the park; Celestia was supposed to appear but she had some planning she had to do with Shining Armor about the next assignment. Only this time they were to relax for a week due to Manehatten and Appleloosa being taken over by the changelings. The possibility of having to go to Hoofington was very high, with Baltimare being next in line. For the humans, it meant that they were actually relieved that there some kind of break. But unfortunately, it also meant that they had more time to teach the little ponies about their own jobs, and the dangers of being that specific class.