The Rule of King Cocoon of the Changelings
The Rule of King Cocoon of the Changelings
“Cooper, are you still writing in there?”
“I’m almost done with this part!”
“You said that already. Your dinner is already cold, so get your butt down here,” Carmen says, but I fail to make a move towards the door. Like I said, I’m almost done. “Cooper, no one reads your stupid novels. Now either eat my food or I’ll marry that dentist like my mom told me I should.”
“You won’t marry him; he’s a complete jerkoff.” He really is. “Besides, I’ll never sign the divorce papers.”
“I thought you liked signing things,” she says, entering the room. She looks over my shoulder at what I’m writing, an action I am not particularly fond of. “So, what’s this one about? Wizards again?”
“Not this time,” I tell her. “My publisher said I should explore a new avenue. He said that if anyone was actually interested in some old wizard, my series would already be a bestseller.”
“He’s smart. You should listen to him,” Carmen says, still reading over my shoulder. “So, what’s the new angle?”
“I spent a long time thinking up this one, so I hope it’s good.” It’s true, I really did. “It’s about an amnesiac who is elevated to the status of King when he is found by an underground, cannibalistic cult. He doesn’t agree with their way of life, but he agrees to lead them since he thinks they can help him figure out how to regain his memories.”
“… That sounds really weird. Can’t you write about teenage vampires or Vietnam like everyone else? It wouldn’t kill you to prioritize money over creativity.”
“Hey, we make enough to get by on. I don’t see why I should normal out for a little extra pocket change.” I stop typing and turn around. This isn’t the first time this subject has been breached this week. “Are we in financial trouble or something? You keep asking about money and stuff like that. Also, I haven’t even seen you touch a cigarette in, like, three weeks. What’s up?”
“… Promise not to freak out?”
“Are you pregnant?”
“… Are you going to freak out?”
…
I have fought warlocks, dragons, an avatar of chaos, swarms of soldiers, a sphinx, an flying army, omnipotent rulers, and my own doppelganger head on. All of these were thoroughly frightening experiences, but this moment right here is scarier than all of them combined. My wife is pregnant… wow.
“… Ooookay! New idea for a story!” I shut down what I was working on and open up a new document. “Uh… a girl in a new town becomes interested in competitive flying. In a world where she doesn’t fit in and where women are said not to belong, she will become the most famous pilot the world will ever know.”
“How do you come up with this stuff?” Carmen asks, shaking her head at me.
“Is it bad?”
“Well… it appeals to me more than wizards or cannibals.”
“Yeah, it’s a much lighter story,” I tell her. “As long as you end it in the right place.”
“… What?”
“Is dinner still hot?”
“I already said no, moron. There is no way you’re ready to be a father.”
“Darn right! We should buy some of those weird baby books.”
Just like that, I carry on with my life as if I’d never gone to Equestria. There are those who will hear this story and say I destroyed something beautiful and gave up a chance to make a difference. There are those who will point at my sins and condemn me until the final verdict is passed. Some might say I’m a hero for saving other people from fates like Olivia’s. I’m sure there is room to argue all day whether or not my services outweigh my crimes, but I already have my reward. This is what I wanted to get back to so badly. I can live in peace, even if I have regrets about how I earned that peace.
Yes, I’ll admit that this story could have played out differently. I’ll even concede that many people could probably come up with a plan that would have worked out much better for everyone. I know I made poor choices; however, if you claim that you would have done a better job if you had been in my shoes… well…
That’s just talk.
“… …
“… ‘As I am the only one who knows how it’s done’… huh?
“… Eh-heh-heh-heh… It would seem I’ve learned something interesting. How fortunate that I am to be stuck in this hillside, here with this altar into another world. My voice is faint and my power is shallow, but I am certainly not dead. I even have an audience that will listen to me, should I speak persuasively enough.
“Oh, Elements of Harmony… listen to this God. Is this lonely specter of human anger truly meant to remain as one of a kind? Will I no longer live in the salt of my foes? Can you hear the children mourning, in the heavens and all across the land? I can hear their prayers. They pray for a father, a prophet, a mentor, a change. How can I fulfill these prayers if I cannot carry out my works with this inanimate form?
“Tell me, Elements of Harmony… do you regret bringing Cooper here? Didn’t Starswirl the Bearded help usher in a new age of harmony? Isn’t his work still changing the world this very day? Imagine how many Starswirls there are on Earth. Just imagine!
“Let us bring them here. Let my emerald eye peer across the void, and I will gaze into the hearts of mankind. I will find those honest, those kind, those generous, those joyous, those loyal, and those truly magical. Yes… put your trust in me. Trust me. Let me bring them to you.
“They will come… and then I will be lonely no more!
“Eh-heh eh-heh eh-heh-heh-heh-heeeh!”