"What's there to be surprised about?"
Rainbow Dash flew up to me, looking at me with a critical gaze. "You seem just like your average unicorn Joe to me," she declared blandly. "Sure you may not have a Cutie Mark yet, but no matter how I look at you, you’re an average pony."
There was something about her tone and word choice that grated on my nerves. However, I bore through it with a forced smile. "I didn't always look like this, only when I came here did I turn into a pony."
To my surprise, the quiet yellow mare, Fluttershy spoke up. "If you didn't look like this before, what did you look like?”
“Who cares what he might have looked like?” Rainbow blurted before I could even open my mouth to speak. “I’m not buying it.” She crossed her forelegs and glared at me.
Applejack sighed and shook her head. “Ain’t that a bit unfair, RD?”
“No! He hasn’t done anything to prove anything he said.” Rainbow exclaimed, her wings flaring out as she pointed a forehoof directly at me.
“Rainbow, dear… you’re being very rude to him.” Rarity stated, casting the pegasus a small glare.
“And to me,” Twilight added. Rainbow gave her friend a confused look before twilight continued with, “By not believing him, you’re saying you don’t believe me either.”
Rainbow was taken aback by that. “Well, but… you see,” she stuttered before composing herself. “Look, this could all be a prank. And unless he can prove he’s an ‘alien’, then I can’t believe it.”
“Why don’t you trust me?” I asked.
Rainbow just rolled her eyes and blew a stray piece of mane out of the way. “Why should I?”
“Why shouldn’t you?” I quipped.
The pegasus deadpanned at me for a few tense moments. “Just do something that shows you’re not from around here, and we can move on,” she finished by reclining in her seat and setting her forelegs behind her head.
Twilight groaned, rubbing her temples. “Is this really necessary?”
“Yup,” Rainbow replied stubbornly without pause.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at the blue mare’s persistence. “And how exactly am I supposed to do that?”
“I dunno, do something only you can do.” She answered cryptically.
That got me to thinking, what could I do? Everypony around the table eagerly waited for me to do something, which didn’t help. Applejack and Fluttershy were as silent as ever, content to watch. Pinkie Pie was practically vibrating in her seat, while Twilight and Rarity gave me expectant looks… Rainbow Dash simply shut her eyes out of boredom.
I looked around my setting, trying to get ideas. Finally, my eyes settled on the restaurant’s sign, a jumbled mess of lines and other curves that were completely unreadable to me. I let a small smile stretch my lips as it all came together.
’Since I cannot read their language, I bet mine is just as alien to them! Idea!~’
“Does anyone have something to write with and paper?” I asked, looking to everyone in turn. Rainbow Dash opened one of her eyes partway, curious. I saw a small burst of purple light out of the corner of my eye. Twilight levitated a quill and some paper in her magic to me.
“Here.” She slid the paper over and set the quill in my hooves. I gave her a nod in thanks and prepared to write.
It took a fair bit of coordination to even hold the quill with my hooves. I was about to start writing when I realized Twilight didn’t summon me up an inkwell. I hesitated and turned to her.
“It’s a magic quill, never needs ink.” Twilight smiled. My mouth made an ‘O’ shape and I started writing.
“Why aren’t ya usin’ magic?” Applejack asked, leaning forward a bit.
“I don’t know how.” I replied, looking back down to the paper before I could see their reactions.
I won’t lie, going from having hands and fingers to blunt hooves doesn’t make anything easier. It took a great deal of effort, but I was eventually able to get a system down, and had a short sentence written down.
Reading over the carefully crafted message, I grinned to myself victoriously.
'Rainbow Dash is an arrogant prick.’
Sitting the quill down, I slid the paper to the center of the table. Rainbow leaned down to the paper, practically pressing her face into it.
"What is this?" She asked, leaning back and pointing a forehoof at the words on the page. "Looks like just a bunch of scribbles to me..."
“That’s my language written down, it’s called English.” A bit of my smile leaked out, satisfied to have the issue put behind me, and that they couldn’t read it.
“Eh… you could be lying and just scribbled a bunch of lines.” Rainbow pushed the paper back over to me. I glared at her pretty hard.
“I don’t know, it looked like he knew what he was doing to me,” Rarity offered.
“Oh-oh-oh I know!” Pinkie Pie bounced in her seat. I motioned her to continue. “Write your alphabet on there and compare the letters to ours then we can decipher your sentence and prove you right!”
Everybody—including me—stared at the pink pony. I shrugged and figured it was my best shot. With the quill back in my hooves, I started writing the alphabet under my previous writing.
“Pinkie, how in Equestria did you think of something like that?” Twilight asked the question on all our minds. The pink mare blathered on about her sisters and word games they used to play, I wasn’t totally listening.
With a quick double-check of my work I set the quill down by Twilight. “Huh. You have twenty-six letters in your alphabet too. Interesting.” I too thought that was neat.
I pointed to one side of the paper. “Here, I’ll start on the left—“
“Why are you starting there?” Twilight asked, perplexed. I gave her an odd look in return.
“Uh, because that’s how you read? Left to right.” Everyone looked at me like I spontaneously changed colors. “What, is something wrong with that?” I asked no one in particular.
“Sugarcube, we don’t read like that,” Applejack paused for a moment. “We read right t’ left.” That was not what I expected to hear. I inwardly sighed for a moment at the thought of trying to learn their system of writing now.
“Well, let’s do it like he’s used to,” Twilight whisked the quill over to herself, hovering it above the paper in her magic.
I scooted my seat a little closer to better show her. “Right here, that’s ‘a’.” I pointed to the appropriate letter. She quickly and neatly made an Equestrian letter right below it, not resembling English in any way. “And here is ‘b’… ‘c’… ‘d’,” I continued until the whole alphabet was covered.
“Huh. Our alphabet has so many similar-sounding letters. Fascinating.” Twilight remarked. It wasn’t until she mentioned it how strange that really was to her. It was a little far-fetched to just be mere coincidence.
When we finished, Twilight put the paper in the center so the others could look at it. A light chorus of “oh’s” and “ah’s” was made as they each looked it over.
“Is that good enough for you Rainbow?” My question earned me a hard glare from the pegasus.
“Fine…” she huffed and sent the paper flying back over. “I’ll believe you… for now.” I was too busy smiling to really take notice of Twilight taking the paper back.
Pinkie Pie made an over-exaggerated gasp. “Oh my gosh! You know what this mean—“
Applejack smacked a hoof over Pinkie’s mouth, effectively stopping what she was saying.“Now let’s not get too carried away here. Twilight,” she looked to the unicorn in question. “How long is this Edward feller’ gonna be here? Bit strange havin’ a pony like ‘im in town. No offense, Sugarcube.” she gave me a light smile.
“Until Princess Celestia and Luna find a way for him to get home.” Twilight went back to whatever it was she was doing with the quill and paper, seemingly uninterested in the conversation.
"Yes, but how long do you suspect that may be?" Rarity spoke up.
“I… really don’t know to be honest.” Twilight replied, looking up from the parchment. "The princesses never gave me a time frame, they just requested I accommodate him until they were ready.”
Rarity nodded. "I see, so he could very well be here for quite some time then." She paused for a moment before looking to me. "I think it is for the best if we assume that to be the case—him staying for a time, that is."
I scratched the back of my neck in unease. "I'm sorry, I never intended to impose on anyone; in fact, I'm still not even sure how I got here to be perfectly honest."
“Think nothing of it dear, we’re just… surprised, is all,” Rarity reassured me. “It’s not everyday we get this sort of news.”
Twilight paused for a moment. “And I don’t mind you at the library either. I was just using the basement for light storage anyways…” she nodded before her attention was once more stolen by the parchment.
Rainbow Dash cleared her throat, grabbing my attention. “You know, you really stick out, Edward.” She said, looking me over rather thoughtfully.
“Ah gotta agree with Rainbow on this one.” Applejack supported, waving a hoof up and down at me. “Y’all stick out like a pine tree in an apple orchard,” I tilted my head and looked myself over.
Besides the lack of a Cutie Mark, I looked normal. Well, as normal as an orange unicorn could be, I suppose. “What do you mean? I look fine…”
Rarity gave the two a knowing look, before turning back to me. “What they are trying to say, darling, is that you don't particularly know much about Equestrian culture and customs, do you?" I considered her question for a few moments before quickly shaking my head.
“If anypony around town struck up a conversation with me, it’d be pretty obvious I’m not from around here.” I sighed at my lack of practical knowledge.
“Mmm, yes. Just as I thought,” Rarity mused, nodding to herself. “It would appear that you’re in a dire need of a history lesson or two about Equestria and its culture.” She paused for a moment, a knowing smirk forming on her muzzle “Oh Twilight~!”
“Huh? ...Oh—Yes, yes of course! I’d be more than happy to teach you about us!” Twilight grinned widely, giving her eyes a certain twinkle. She looked almost too happy to be teaching something as bleak as history. “Seeing as we have no idea how long you’ll be here, it would likely be for the best.”
’Great, and here I thought I was done with this kinda thing when I finished high school...’ I complained to myself.
Pinkie Pie gasped in an exceptionally loud manner. "So that means we can throw him a welcome party!?" She exclaimed excitedly, practically shaking in her seat. “I have to get planning the party right now! Bye-gotta-go-was-nice-meeting-you-Eddy!”
Before any of us could say anything she was gone, leaving a small trail of dust in her wake as she sped off down the street.
“Should I… be worried about this?” I asked, directing the question to nopony in particular.
Rainbow let out a short laugh.
“Nah. Pinkie’s parties are way awesome!” she reassured me enthusiastically. “You’ll totally love them!”
The thought of having a party played out begrudgingly in my mind. I didn’t particularly look forward to any large social gatherings, they left me feeling too exposed; out of my element.
“I’m not really—Ow!” I felt something hit me in the side. Twilight leveled a glare at me as she retracted her hind leg, likely the one she kicked me with. Her eyes went from mine to the paper and back. Under my sentence I saw something written in matching Equestrian letters.
She’d deciphered my original note.
“Everythin’ alright hun?” Applejack looked between us. Twilight glanced to the farm mare briefly, giving me an evil smirk before turning herself to face her.
“Everything is great! In fact... I just deciphered Edward’s note!” She announced cheerfully, causing my heart to explode and my gut to drop like a stone.
Rarity leaned forward intently. “Is that so? Well don’t keep us waiting, darling. What does it say?”
Twilight picked up the paper in her magic and held it in front of her. She gave me a sly smile out of the corner of her mouth. “Rainbow Dash…”
’This... is how I die.’
“—has a pretty mane,” she continued, a confident smile spreading across her face.
’...Wait, what!?’
Rainbow reached over the table, snatching the note from Twilight and began looking it over. “Is that what it really says?” She asked slowly, looking almost uncomfortable with the unexpected ‘compliment.’
“Yes. I think you have a pretty mane,” I improvised, skillfully dodging the tires of the bus Twilight had just thrown me under. “It’s really unique.”
’I can’t believe I really just said that!’
Rainbow looked as if she were trying to decide between being either offended, or flattered. She finally smiled and flipped her mane back. “Yeah, I guess it is pretty awesome, isn’t it?” She replied, running a hoof through it in a smooth motion.
I rolled my eyes at the blue mare’s sudden inflation of ego at my expense, before settling my sights on Rarity. The white unicorn looked a bit miffed, and that gave me an idea. “Yeah, you’re right, Rainbow Dash. Your’s is pretty cool; but Rarity’s is much prettier if you ask me.” I smirked at the punch I threw at her over-inflated ego.
Rainbow cringed a bit at my attempted jab. “Well, she can just have her pretty mane, I’ll take cooler over pretty any day.”
Rarity however, appeared somewhat flustered at my comment. “W-why thank you, darling—but this is just simply a makeshift of my ‘around town’ style, as it were.” She pulled a pocket mirror from somewhere and inspected herself in it. “I hadn’t the time this morning to dress it quite to satisfaction.”
“Well I still think it’s absolutely beautiful,” I complimented one last time.
Looking to Rainbow out of the corner of my eye, I could tell that, while she tried her best to hide it, appeared to be getting quite jealous of my complimenting her friend.
’I wonder if these two have some kind of rivalry or something?’ I thought to myself briefly.
Rainbow folded her forelegs with a huff. “Oh yeah? Well… I’m too busy clearing the skies to bother with something so pointless.”
“Rainbow dear, if you didn’t spend so much of your ‘busy day’ napping, and took some actual time to work on your appearance… why, I bet you would have stallions lining up in rows for you!” Rarity teased.
“W-who says they already aren’t?” The blue pegasus shot back, failing to hide her clearly flustered position.
Rainbow and Rarity continued to bicker back and forth. It was amusing really. I smiled contently, knowing I wouldn’t have to worry about Rainbow Dash turning me inside-out. After a minute or so, Twilight nudged me with her hoof. Much softer and more subtle than before.
I gave her a questioning look. She responded by sliding the paper over to me, and flipping it over.
'Do not act that rude again.' Was written in English, matching my messy hoof-writing almost perfectly. My face grew hot, so I just looked up and gave her a quick nod and sheepish smile.
“Nice one partner,” Applejack gave me a playful smack on my right side.
“What are you talking about?”
Applejack cocked her head at the two mares still bickering. “Gettin’ Rainbow all bothered about her looks ain’t easy.” She held up a foreleg to me. Taking a guess at the purpose of the gesture, I clopped my hoof against hers.
“You’re welcome…” I trailed off, my stomach getting my attention as it complained at the lack of anything filling it. “Hey, didn’t you guys order something before Twilight and I got here?”
Almost as if by magic, a waiter walked behind me and set down a plate and glass of milk. It seemed like an odd drink, but I didn’t question it. He was a unicorn stallion with a rather showy mustache. “Your sandwiches and drinks ladies, and sir,” He added, nodding to me. After ensuring we all seemed fine he left us.
I looked over my sandwich with a frown. It seemed to be filled with some sort of grass, and flowers. I sighed and looked over the table at everypony else. Rainbow appeared to be taking her frustration out on the hapless sandwich in her hooves; devouring it like a starving animal. While Rarity on the other hoof, appeared to be taking her time with her meal. Applejack ate more or less like you would normally expect... but Fluttershy, she was looking over her sandwich in the same way I was.
“Is everything alright, Fluttershy?” She squeaked as I addressed her. Fluttershy sunk a little in her seat and hid behind her mane.
“Don’t worry about her none, she’s just a lil’ shy eatin’ ‘round new folks,” Applejack informed me. Everypony around the table gave silent nods in agreement. “Why aren’t y’all eatin’ though?” Applejack asked me between bites.
I opened my mouth to speak, but Twilight beat me to it. “Our food isn’t exactly his normal cuisine,” She informed the others.
“Oh? What is your normal diet, Edward?” Rarity asked, before furrowing her brow in thought. “...And for that matter, what are you generally called back home?”
“Oh, we’re called ‘humans’. I’m guessing none of you have ever heard of them?” I asked, scanning the faces of everyone at the table; All five shook their heads. “As for what we eat? Well, we certainly don’t eat flowers and grass...”
Rainbow wolfed down the rest of her sandwich and looked at me. “Well, then what do you humans eat?”
I fidgeted with my hooves, remembering Twilight’s reaction when I told her I ate meat. “Uh, I eat fruits? And vegetables, nuts sometimes… grains and noodles too.” Rubbing the back of my neck, I tried recounting everything non-meat I’d ever eaten. Everyone seemed quite enthralled by my reply, except for Twilight who let out a sigh of relief.
All I’d wanted then was a big steak, or something meaty to sink my teeth into. Though, that may have been difficult with my new, flat teeth. I was constantly rubbing them with my tongue. It felt as if someone had sanded them down; I just couldn’t get used to it.
Rarity pursed her lips and hummed thoughtfully. “Do you perhaps partake in the consumption of sweets? Pinkie Pie is sure to have her party tables stacked to the roof with cupcakes, cookies and other assorted treats.”
“Ponies eat sweets?” I couldn’t quite wrap my head around that one. The thought of a pony back on Earth eating cake seemed ludicrous at best.
“Eeyup! An’ you’re gonna love Pinkie’s!” Applejack picked up her sandwich, about to take a bite. “Ah bet it’ll be tomorrow, considerin’ y’all can’t make that mare wait for nothin’”
“Well, alright.” I didn’t have much else to say, so I figured I’d at least try eating my sandwich. As I clumsily picked it up in my hooves, I caught a flash of yellow and pink movement out of the corner of my eye. Looking over to Fluttershy, I saw a miniscule bite taken out of her sandwich, hardly noticeable.
I figured I’d let her be and try to eat my own food. With a reluctant bite I started on the meal in my hooves. Grass, flowers, and bread tasted about as well as one would think, but it was better than going hungry… barely.
“Wish I had some apples, or carrots like the hospital had.” I said rather absentmindedly after swallowing my first bite.
Applejack chuckled, “Heh, at least he likes apples.”
To my surprise, Fluttershy suddenly spoke up. “You were in the hospital?” she asked, a mix of curiosity and concern weighing heavy on her voice. “What happened to you?”
“Yeah, I’m fine. Well, sorta anyways.” I answered with a shrug. "I don't know honestly. waking up in the hospital is the last thing I can remember. Between then and when I was still human is kind of blank."
I shrugged, recalling the not so-pleasant atmosphere of that accursed room. “I was there a few days, recovering from my transformation I suppose, since I’m obviously not in my normal body anymore. Princess Luna was actually the first pony I met.” That seemed to really get their attentions. I took another quick bite of my sandwich, grimacing at the taste as they all absorbed the information.
Rainbow Dash slammed down her empty glass. “What was the princess doing there? Why would she be seeing you?”
“She was the one who found me actually.” I remembered the short stint of charades I was forced to play with Luna, before Celestia put her language spell on me. I was certainly glad she did. “Luna thought something was wrong and took me to a hospital, checked on me everyday too.”
“That was quite sweet of her,” Rarity chirped. “Taking the time to check on somepony in the hospital? Quite surprising for somepony as busy as herself.”
Twilight cleared her throat, ending the silence beside me.“Did the princess know what you were in the beginning?”
I shook my head. “No. Wasn’t until Celestia came in a day later I was able to even talk to them.”
"This all sounds like quite the tale to me," Rarity commented, propping her head up on her forehoof, supported by the table. "Mind sharing it with us from the beginning, darling?"
I looked down to my barely-touched sandwich. Two bites was plenty, even if I was still starving. I pushed the plate away and cleared my throat.
"Well, for starters, let's just say that I can think of very few things worse than waking up in a hospital to find yourself in a body that is not yours..."