PonyConned

by Green Akers


Vs. Fluttershy

Less than an hour earlier...

By the time the clock struck two, Fluttershy had finished most of her daily chores. She had fed the birds, fed the fish, fed the chickens, watered the plants, and given one of her bears a deep-tissue massage. The last thing left on her list, however, was her most difficult task yet: Getting her pet bunny Angel to eat his daily recommended intake of vegetables.

"Now Angel," Fluttershy said in a soft, encouraging tone, "you know that lettuce casserole is good and good for you." She pushed a plate of greens in front of Angel. "It's got lots of essential vitamins and nutrients, you know."

Angel crossed his front legs and turned his nose up at the greens before him.

Fluttershy sighed. "Well, what would you like?"

Angel scurried over to a nearby bookshelf and pulled a cookbook off of the bottom shelf. After flipping through a few pages, he ran back over to Fluttershy and slammed the open book against her face.

Fluttershy stepped back, shook the stars from her eyes, and examined the pages before her. "Duck à l'orange?" she read. "But I thought you were an herbivore! Besides, the only ducks around here are—" She stopped as she realized Angel's true motives. "No!" she said, giving Angel a stern look. "I know you're still mad about what Mrs. Quackybill did to your favorite pillow, but—" Fluttershy was interrupted by the sound of a knock on her door. "Oh! I wonder who that could be?"

Fluttershy opened her door to find a big, burly Diamond Dog wearing a tight, white nurse's dress on his body, a small nurse's cap on his head, and a nervous look on his face. "G-G-Good morning, miss," the dog stammered. "I am from the, um, the—"

"Equestrian Medical Center!" a voice whispered from the bushes behind the dog.

"Yes, the, um, E-question Medical Center," the dog continued. "We—um, I am here because your good friend has suffered a terrible accident."

"My good friend? An accident? Oh no!" Fluttershy squealed, squishing her face with her front hooves in distress. "Is it Applejack? Rarity? No, it's Rainbow Dash, isn't it?"

"Er, yes?" the dog replied.

"Oh dear! I've told Rainbow to be careful when she's training!" Fluttershy lamented. "What happened? Did she break her leg?"

"Um, I'm afraid so," the dog said.

"Did she sprain her wings?"

"Yes, yes, all of them."

"Did she hit her head and put herself in a coma?"

"Why, um, of course! She's got the comiest coma we've ever seen."

"This is terrible! Just awful!" Fluttershy's eyes welled up at the thought of Rainbow Dash lying motionless in a hospital bed covered in several layers of bandages. "Lying in a hospital room, all cold and alone... And even worse, she doesn't have any insurance!"

"She doesn't?" The dog's eyes widened in surprise. "Gosh, that is bad."

A stray pebble suddenly came flying out from the bushes, striking the Diamond Dog in the back of his head.

"Ow!" The dog flinched and rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean, that's why we're here."

"Oh no!" Fluttershy wailed. "Rainbow's probably run up several thousand bits worth of expenses already, and you need somepony to pay up right away or you'll stop treating her!"

"Wow." The Diamond Dog looked at Fluttershy in amazement. "You, uh, you don't have ESP, do you?"

Fluttershy shook her head. "I don't even have an IRA." She ran back into her cottage, grabbed her saddlebag from its hook, and dumped its contents out onto her table. "All I have right now is seventeen bits." She hung her head, stuffed the money back in her bag, and brought it back to the Diamond Dog. "Will this help?"

The dog nearly melted at the sight of Fluttershy's sad face. "Well," he said, "I guess if that's all you have, maybe we can—"

A second pebble shot out from the bushes and struck the Diamond Dog square in the rump. "Ow!" the dog howled in pain. "Er, I mean, I'm sorry, but we need more money than that."

"Oh dear!" Fluttershy turned away from the Diamond Dog and began pacing back and forth in her cottage. "How will I ever collect enough money for Rainbow Dash's treatment? I suppose I could ask Pinkie about those three bits she borrowed last week, and maybe collect those ten bits Rarity owes me for covering her spa treatment last year..."

As Fluttershy continued scheming, Angel hopped over to the door and began circling the Diamond Dog, staring up at the burly creature with a look of suspicion. "Um, hi there, little guy," the dog said, giving the bunny a nervous smile and a small wave.

Angel scowled at the dog, then reached out and stomped on the the dog's toes.

"Yow!" The dog grabbed his foot and did a one-legged hop into the cottage.

"Oh! Did you stub your toe?" Fluttershy asked innocently. "I should have warned you about that loose board by the door. I'm sorry."

"No, that little—" The Diamond Dog stopped as he started looking around the cottage. "Oh wow." He whistled in amazement. "You have a really nice house here, miss. I sure wish I had a place like this."

Fluttershy's ears perked up. "That's it!" she said. "This is a nice place, and I do have a lot of nice things. I'll bet you could sell them and use the money to cover Rainbow's treatment!"

Fluttershy started darting around the cabin dragging furniture and rugs, pulling things off of her walls, and grabbing various items out of cabinets and drawers, piling everything she could get her hooves on at the dog's feet. "This will help cover Rainbow's bills, won't it?" she asked.

"Er, well, uh, I don't know," the dog admitted, casting several confused glances back out towards the bushes as he spoke.

The dog's behavior raised Angel's suspicions even further, and he hopped outside to investigate the bushes the dog had been looking at. Upon stopping to sniff them, however, a stray hoof popped out of the bush and karate-chopped Angel on top of the head. The bunny faceplanted onto the ground, his head circled by stars, swirls, and quacking ducks.

Meanwhile, Fluttershy walked over to the far corner of her cottage, where a lone picture of the yellow pegasus and five other ponies still hung on the wall. She lifted the portrait to reveal a small safe, opened it without bothering to enter a combination, and pulled out a gold necklace with a butterfly-shaped hole in its center. "This is the necklace that held the Element of Kindness, one of the Elements of Harmony," she said as she carried the necklace over and set it on top of the pile of items in front of the Diamond Dog. "It's a priceless artifact, so I'm sure you can get a lot of money for it."

The dog's eyes lit up at the sight of the necklace, and his pupils were replaced by large green dollar signs. "Absolutely!" he agreed. "This will definitely cover the—ow!" The dog muttered something under his breath and rubbed the spot on his back where a third pebble had struck him. "I mean, I'm sorry, but this is still not enough."

"Still not enough?" Fluttershy's face fell, and she stared dejectedly at the ground. "Then I guess there's only one thing to do."

Fluttershy turned and hurried up the stairs to the second floor of her cottage, leaving the Diamond Dog standing in her doorway scratching his head. The pegasus reappeared a few minutes later, carrying a large paper scroll in her mouth. She placed the scroll on top of her gold necklace. "This is the deed to my cottage," she said as she wiped a tear from her eye. "It's got a great view, it's in a great school district, and you can claim the manure heating system as a tax deduction. I'm sure you can get enough money to cover Rainbow's expenses from selling this."

The Diamond Dog was touched by Fluttershy's selfless act. "Gosh, miss, you shouldn't have to give up your—ow! I mean, your generosity is heartwarming. I'm sure this will be enough."

"Thank you." Fluttershy walked back and picked up her saddlebags. "Come along, Angel," she said in a sad tone. "We have to go now."

Angel popped up off the ground, threw his paws in the air, ran over to Fluttershy, gave her an are-you-kidding? look, and latched on to the pegasus's hind leg, trying vainly to convince her that this was a bad idea. Fluttershy paid Angel no mind, however, and she dragged the bunny behind her as she walked out the door. Before he left, however, Angel kicked out his hind leg as he passed the Diamond Dog, striking the dog in the ankle.

"Ow!" The dog grabbed his sore ankle and grimaced at Angel, who blew a raspberry in response.

"Now Angel, be nice," Fluttershy chided her pet. "He was just the messenger. As long as Rainbow Dash gets better, it will be worth it."


"She gave up her house?!?" Twilight's eyes nearly popped out of her head at the story.

"You're surprised by this?" Rainbow shook her head. "She's the Element of Kindness for a reason, you know."

"Where is the poor dear now?" Rarity asked.

"I left her with Pinkie at Sugarcube Corner," Rainbow replied with a grimace, "while I went over to show those lame-o losers how injured I was."

"Were you able to confront them?" Twilight asked.

"No," Rainbow grumbled. "The place was locked up tight. I tried forcing my way in through one of the windows, but they'd barricaded them all with furniture or something." Rainbow rubbed her head, wincing when she hit the sore spot.

Twilight sighed. "Well, we might as well look on the bright side of this: At least we know where those crooks are now."

"Yes, and I believe our path is clear," Rarity said. "We must apprehend these ruffians and bring them to justice."

"Yeah, and teach them a lesson they'll never forget!" Rainbow said, pounding her front hooves together as she spoke.

Twilight's eyes suddenly lit up. "I have a better idea," she declared. "Rainbow, you and I need to make a quick trip to the Everfree Forest. Rarity, go over to Sugarcube Corner and bring Fluttershy and Pinkie back here. Apple Bloom, you and the other Crusaders go back to Sweet Apple Acres and tell Applejack to meet us here as soon as she can." She walked over to the glass case where her element-less crown still sat. "I think it's time we give them a taste of their own medicine."