//------------------------------// // Vs. The Cutie Mark Crusaders // Story: PonyConned // by Green Akers //------------------------------// About six hours earlier... Sweetie Belle gulped as she stared down at the empty hog trough below her. She was used to being placed in precarious positions by her friends in the name of earning a cutie mark, but this idea seemed a little outrageous even for them. She found herself inside one of the barns at Applejack's farm, standing at the top of a small stepladder while being wrapped in a set of heavy chains. "Um... I don't know about this, Scootaloo," she said. "Couldn't we try earning our magician cutie marks by doing something safer, like pulling bits out of ponies' ears?" "Aw, come on, Sweetie Belle, this'll be fun!" Scootaloo smiled as she locked the chains in place. "Besides," Apple Bloom added, as she filled the trough with water, "you drew the short straw, fair and square." Sweetie Belle sighed. "Okay then," she reluctantly agreed, "but if I can't figure out how to escape, you'll save me, right?" "Of course!" Apple Bloom said. "Scoot and I'll be right here the entire time!" "Alright." Sweetie Belle looked down at the trough, then closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and stepped off the ladder, falling into the trough with a splash. No sooner had Sweetie Belle disappeared into the water than the other two fillies heard a knocking at the barn door. "Gosh, I wonder who that could be?" Apple Bloom wondered as she turned and walked to the door. Pushing the barn door open, Apple Bloom found herself staring at a tall, well-groomed unicorn stallion with a snow-white coat and a silver mane, and who wore a black suit jacket and red bow tie. Two other creatures stood a short distance from the door: A young female griffon wearing a sparkling silver gown and matching tiara and holding a bouquet, and a big, burly Diamond Dog holding what appeared to be a large, blank posterboard. The unicorn smiled down at Apple Bloom. "Greetings, young lady! We're here from the Equestrian Prize Patrol, and we're looking for the proprietor of this fine establishment. Do you know where we could find him?" "You mean Applejack?" Apple Bloom furrowed her brow at the unicorn. "First of all, she's a her, not a him! Second of all, Applejack's workin' in the lower forty of the southwest orchard right now, and didn't want anypony botherin' her. Can I take a message?" "Of course!" The unicorn turned and nodded to the dog, who pulled out a black marker and began writing something on the back side of his board. "And you would be?" "I'm Apple Bloom! Applejack's my sister." "Well, Apple Bloom, allow me to be the first to congratulate your family, because your sister has just won one million bits in the Grand Canterlot Clearinghouse Sweepstakes!" The unicorn turned and swept a hoof back towards his companions, and the dog flipped his posterboard over to reveal an oversized cheque printed on the other side. Apple Bloom's eyes nearly popped out of her head as she read the cheque. "R-R-Really?" she stammered. "I-I can't believe it! I didn't even know Applejack had entered any contest!" "She probably just wanted to surprise you!" The well-dressed unicorn patted Apple Bloom on the head, then motioned for the griffon to step forward. "Wow..." Apple Bloom whispered as she accepted the bouquet from the griffon. "This... This is the best day ever!" She spun around and began shouting back into the barn. "Scoot! Sweetie! Come here! We-we're rich!" "What?!" A few splashes could be heard inside the barn, and within seconds Scootaloo and a soaking-wet Sweetie Belle, chains and all, were at Apple Bloom's side. "Wow!" Scootaloo said as she read the cheque. "A whole million? That's totally awesome!" "Omigosh!" Sweetie Belle squealed. "Do you know how many cupcakes you could buy for that?" "Cupcakes nothin'!" Apple Bloom said. "Why, with a million bits, we could buy a whole cupcake factory, and a private island to put it on!" The well-dressed stallion laughed. "Now, now, Miss Bloom, let's not get ahead of ourselves here! You're not quite rich, but you're almost there! All we need from your family is an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny transaction fee, and then we can send the money right over." "Huh?" Sweetie Belle scratched her head. "What's a transaction fee?" "And how much is itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny?" Scootaloo asked. "Oh, only a thousand bits," the stallion explained. "Mere peanuts compared to your winnings, really." "A thousand?" Scootaloo's face fell at the number. "But we've only get three bits in the clubhouse treasury! Where are we gonna get nine-hundred and ninety-seven more?" "I know!" Apple Bloom said. "Crusaders, follow me! The rest of y'all, stay put—you'll have your, uh, transition fee in no time!" Apple Bloom led Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle out around the barn and behind one of the hay sheds, stopping at the entrance to Applejack's underground apple cellar. "Oh no!" Scootaloo cried as she tried the door. "It's locked!" "Have no fear!" Apple Bloom declared as she pulled open the shed door. "I know where Applejack keeps the key!" "Speaking of keys..." Sweetie Belle panted as she pointed to the iron chains still wrapped around her body. "Oh. Right." Scootaloo unlocked Sweetie's chains while Apple Bloom searched inside the shed for the cellar key. "Got it!" Apple Bloom quickly reappeared with the cellar key and opened the lock. "Come on!" The three fillies descended into the cellar, finding themselves in a dimly-lit chamber with cider barrels stacked to the ceiling all around them. "There!" Apple Bloom pointed to a large iron safe standing in the corner of the room. "That's where the money is!" "But how do we open it?" Sweetie Belle asked. "Do you know the combination?" "No," Apple Bloom admitted, "but I do know that Applejack hides it in one of these barrels!" She jumped up onto one of the barrels and quickly made her way to the top of the stack. "Timber!" she shouted as she pushed one of the topmost barrels off the pile. The tipped barrel tumbled to the ground and smashed to pieces on impact, splattering Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle with the cider from inside. "That's how we're gonna find the combination?" Scootaloo said with a frown as she wiped the cider from her eyes. "This will take forever!" "Applejack won't be happy when she sees all her barrels broken," Sweetie Belle added. "Aw, don't worry!" Apple Bloom insisted. "She can just buy a bunch more when she gets her money!" "Good point," Sweetie Belle conceded. "So, what are we waiting for?" The three fillies quickly began climbing up the barrels and dropping them onto the floor of the chamber. Forty-six smashed barrels and several hundred gallons of wasted cider later, the trio finally found a barrel with nothing inside but a small slip of paper containing three numbers. "That's it!" Apple Bloom snatched up the paper and began spinning the safe dial according to the paper's instructions. The safe door unlocked and swung open, revealing a large pile of bits inside. "Whoa! That's a lot of bits!" Scootaloo said. "Do you think there's a thousand in there?" "We'd better grab it all, just in case!" Apple Bloom ran over to a half-smashed barrel and pushed it over to the safe. "Help me load this up!" The three fillies emptied the safe's contents into the barrel, carried the loaded barrel back up the cellar steps, and slowly made their way back to the prize patrol waiting by the barn. "Is this enough?" Apple Bloom asked. The stallion's eyes lit up as he gazed upon the barrel full of bits. "I think this will just about cover it!" he said. "We'll get the paperwork started right away. You should receive your money in, oh, about four to six weeks." The Diamond Dog handed his large cheque to the griffon and picked up the barrel, and the prize patrol beat a hasty retreat with the money. "Give your sister our regards!" the stallion shouted as they left. "Yay! We're rich! We're rich!" the Crusaders cheered as the prize patrol disappeared down the road. "And we even handled the whole transition fee thing by ourselves!" Apple Bloom said. "Applejack's gonna be so proud of us!" "Oh, girls!" Twilight put her head in her hooves as the Crusaders finished their story. "You should never have to pay to collect a prize! That was just a scam!" "What?!" the Crusaders screamed in unison. "You mean we're not rich?" Scootaloo wailed. "And we're not going to be Cutie Mark Crusader Wealthy Jetsetters?" Sweetie Belle whimpered. "And Applejack is not gonna be proud of us?" Apple Bloom sniffled. Twilight shook her head. "I'm sorry, girls." "Aw..." The three fillies hung their heads as their eyes welled up. "There, there." Twilight placed a leg across Apple Bloom's shoulders. "Don't take it so hard, girls. Con artists are highly trained professionals, with no regard for the ponies they hurt. Even older ponies fall for their tricks! Right, Rarity?" "Well, er..." Rarity's face turned red, and she gave Twilight a sheepish smile. "Now that you mention it..."