My Life as a Hybrid

by ChaosDoomscythe

~I'll See You Again Soon~

Heya, big bro.

So, if you got this letter, I’m assuming that… that mom (or was it dad) told you.

I’ve never been good at this sort of thing. I guess that transfers on parchment too.

*A splotch of ink and a scribbled out mess*

Ugh, this would be so much easier if we had those… what did you call them? Pens! Yeah, those. This would be so much easier if we had pens to use.

But uh… anyway.

I’ve never been good at saying (or writing, apparently) this stuff, so I’ll just go ahead and say it.

Live, big bro.

I want you to live. I know how you feel about this. I do. I know what you do at night, when I’m in Soul Sleep. I go through all of your research and your learned spells when you’re in your soul sleep. I know about all the stuff you’ve done when you tried to research a way to save us both.

To save me.

I know you’re hurting right now. I know. But you need to know something. I knew of all the experiments you tried.

I’m the reason they failed.

The spells we cast, the magic we possess… it works or fails in accordance with our wills. What we want them to do depends entirely upon us. We always had to subconsciously agree on how the spell reacted, and what it did, and how much it did it.

We had to willingly agree on every spell we ever cast.

And that’s why yours failed.

Because I didn’t agree with them.

In the beginning, the spells failed because they simply wouldn’t work for us. Whether it was because of the chaos of your soul clashing with the harmony of mine, or something else, I don’t know. But when those didn’t work, I saw you moving onto more desperate spells. Spells that would reverse our condition. Spells that would put your own in a worse state than mine.

Spells that would outright destroy yours.

I couldn’t let that happen.

*an inky smear seems to have covered most of this segment*

Darn it. Now I gotta re-write this.

….what did I write?

Oh yeah!

I know you cared about me. And I know you said that you’ve already had one life. That I was more deserving of this one, and that you wouldn’t take it away from me. I know what you plan on doing at the Altar of Nightmare tomorrow night. And I already set my own plans into motion.

I told mom and dad what you planned to do. I told mom to cast a spell on us that would reverse the effects of the magical sacrificial ritual you were going to do.

Big bro, they freaked out so bad, if it hadn’t been so serious I’d have had to laugh so hard.

But then I told them, and then I told them MY reasoning. Why I wanted to let you live. Why you deserved this more than I did.

I’ve been alive for fifteen years, big bro. And if you can manage to look past our messed up first birthday, our few bouts of uncontrollable rage, and Aunt Chyssi’s attempts at mind control and abduction, I have had nothing but joy and happiness in my life. I’ve had so much fun, I’ve made so many friends…

And I even kissed that changeling you liked. So I still got one up on you! HA!

But you… you didn’t have that back in your old life. Your dad left you, you only had your mom and your brother, and you made one or two friends. You had to struggle to get to school, it was a pain to get food on your table, your mom struggled to keep you and your brother clothed, you had been bullied constantly….

And then you were….

You deserve a chance to be happy, to be truly happy, big bro.

And I’m going to give you that chance.

I told mom and dad how I felt. I told them that even if your spell worked, and you left us… I’d be coming after you shortly anyway. My soul is too damaged and I wouldn’t survive two hours without you. Despite the fact that your soul is the one that’s weakening mine…

It’s also what’s keeping mine intact.

Your soul, while consuming mine, is also managing to keep it separate. Yours is keeping my sense of self, and my identity intact, even as all of this is going on. How much more contradicting can you get, bro?

I guess you really are a soul of chaos, though, huh?

After a lot of talking between the three of us, they agreed, and she cast the spell.

But she couldn’t stop crying.

And it hurt to see that.

But I know it can’t hurt as much as you are right now. I probably can’t even phathu- Fathi- Fartho-…..…..understand how much pain you’re probably in.

You might hate me for this. I’ve accepted that. I said goodbye to all our friends. I said goodbye to mom and dad.

But I’m not saying goodbye to you.

You once told me that you should never say goodbye. Because if you don’t say goodbye, it’s like you’re not really gone.

So, even though I won’t be there, I’ll still be with you… in… spirit?

Wow… I think I just confused myself there.

Spirits and souls aren’t the same thing, right?

Uh… anyway….

Instead of saying goodbye, I have a wish. Something I want you to promise me.

I want you to promise me you’ll live.

Don’t just live because you can now. I want you to go exploring someday. This is a vast, wide world we live in, and we’ve only seen one little forest town and a cave. I want you to explore the world, see the sights, and write me letters describing what you see.

Because then I can see what you saw when we meet again.

Promise me, big bro. I want your dragon’s code promise that you’ll live.

I want to see the world.

So write me some letters, and take some pictures. Maybe go on an adventure or two. I’ll want to read and hear all about it.

See you later, big bro. I’ll be waiting.

~Shadow Flare

PS: Who knows? I may have a surprise waiting for you myself when I see you.