After leaving Misty’s house, Rainbow flew to the FPS offices and had a brief discussion with Thunder Cloud about closing the investigation. There hadn’t been an official ruling, but since Lightning was dead and couldn’t answer to the charges, the investigation was on its way to being declared void. Since no abuse accusations had been levied at Misty, by Scootaloo or anypony else, FPS had no official qualms about allowing Scootaloo to remain in her care so long as she and Scootaloo agreed to submit to a follow up interview in a few weeks to make sure everything was okay.
Rainbow’s next stop was the barracks to account for her role in Lightning’s death. Just as Twilight had predicted, the guards were eager to rule her actions as self defense. She gave them a brief accounting of her version of the events that led to Lightning’s death. She described her decision to kick Lightning as more reflex than conscious thought, which wasn’t strictly true, but luckily for her, the guard tasked with taking her statement didn’t seem interested in asking questions that would upset the outcome his superiors clearly wanted. After she had given her statement, she was free to go without so much a warning to stay in town.
Rainbow was about to pay a visit to Twilight, and maybe some of her other friends, when she began to feel light headed. Dr. Stable’s words and Fluttershy’s warning came rushing back to her. Even though she hadn’t been practicing aerial stunts, it appeared that the simple act of flying across town was enough to exhaust her. Hoping that Fluttershy wouldn’t mind watching Scootaloo for a little while longer, Rainbow spotted a comfortable looking cloud and commandeered it as her temporary cloud bed.
The next thing Rainbow knew, she was standing outside her cloudhouse, looking out into the distance. But it wasn’t her cloudhouse; it bore an uncanny resemblance to her home but it wasn’t. It looked the same but everything around her felt different; off somehow. For one thing, it was night, and she could have sworn that it was bright outside when she last checked. For another thing, she couldn’t see any trace of Ponyville. There was usually a light or two on, even late at night, but looking out toward the horizon, she saw only blackness; not even the stars could pierce the darkness around her.
Suddenly, she noticed Lightning Strike hanging onto the edge of the cloud, but he didn’t look like she remembered him. He was scared, a terrified look plastered on his face. She was powerless to control herself; it was as if somepony else was moving her body for her. She could only watch helplessly as she kicked Lightning Strike off the cloud, and laughed a cruel hate-filled laugh as he fell into the all consuming blackness. Scootaloo ran toward her and she kicked the little filly off the cloud as well, laughing ruefully as she too was consumed by the night.
No, this is all wrong! Make it stop! Suddenly the air shimmered around her and she was no longer on her cloud. She was on the ground in a field. It was still night out, but the stars shone brightly in the sky, and Luna’s moon shone brightest of all.
Rainbow Dash looked up to see the Princess of the Night standing in front of her, a dark blue aura of power emanating from her body.
“Princess Luna? Are you real? Am I dreaming?”
“Yes, child. We are in your dream. We have been watching your dreams since we first learned of your trials. Accordingly, we thought it would be best to talk to you here in the dream realm.”
“Are you also dreaming? I mean, how do you do stuff in my dreams and out in the real world at the same time?”
“A part of my consciousness is in Canterlot, and a part of it is here with you. The most apt comparison would be to say that we are meditating in the real world.”
“Why am I having this nightmare? I killed Lightning Strike, and I protected Scootaloo. Why am I still scared?”
“A wise pony once wrote, ‘Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.’ You do not fear that you can’t protect Scootaloo. You are afraid that you are capable of hurting her.”
Rainbow thought about Lightning Strike as she considered the Princess’ words. “Did I do the right thing?”
“We cannot answer that question. We will, however, point out that your question is predicated on the assumption that there existed a right thing to do.”
“Isn’t there always a right thing to do?”
“There would, if it were that simple. What dost thou think would have happened if you had not acted the way you did?”
“Lightning would have killed me and Scootaloo. Doesn’t that make what I did right?”
“He may well have killed you, or Scootaloo, though we suppose it is possible that he would have seen the error of his ways and repented. It is possible that, at a future date, his actions would have saved many lives, or hurt many more. We do not get to know the alternative outcomes of our choices. How do you feel about the choice you made, knowing its outcome?”
“I know I should feel bad, but I don’t. But I don’t feel good about it either.”
“It is no small thing to take a life,” Luna replied solemnly.
“So, you’re saying I was wrong?”
“Tell me this: if you had to make this decision over again, would you do the same thing?”
Rainbow stayed silent as she stared down at the ground that wasn’t really there. Since that fateful night, she had thought about the moment she kicked Lightning Strike off of her house an incalculable number of times. And every time she was forced to conclude that she would have sent Lightning Strike to his death if she had to do it over again. “Yes,” she said quietly. “So, you’re saying I did the right thing.”
“We are saying you made the only choice you could.”
“Then how do I make these nightmares stop?”
“Thou must make peace with thyself, though that doesn’t always mean that it is up to you to grant your own absolution.”
“Scootaloo,” Rainbow whispered knowingly. “You’re saying I need to talk to her about what happened. But what if she ends up being scared of me?”
“When we talked a few days ago, we told you our belief that the young filly chose her champion well; our opinion has not changed.”
“Thanks,Princess. Hey, would you mind sending me to a dream where I’m a Wonderbolt?”
“Some other time, perhaps. Manipulating another’s dream is oddly tiring. We fear we must leave this plane before we require sleep of our own. But, do come visit Canterlot sometime. It would be nice to talk under happier circumstances.”
Luna disappeared as the air shimmered around her. Soon, Rainbow was surrounded by blackness, and shortly thereafter, she fell back into a dreamless sleep. When she woke up, the sun in the sky told her that it was around noon. She hoped Fluttershy wasn’t going to be too angry with her. Much to her relief, when she got back home, she found a pair of pegasi sitting happily at her kitchen table. Scootaloo appeared to be coloring something, while Fluttershy was working on her own drawing. Rainbow also noticed that there appeared to be another pot of soup brewing on her stove. Rainbow marveled at how one pony could be so considerate, and silently gave thanks that Fluttershy was her friend. She cleared her throat, “Hey, did you guys miss me?”
Scootaloo came rushing over, and almost knocked Rainbow back with the force of her hug. Rainbow gave Scootaloo a quick squeeze and gently pushed the filly off of her. “Easy there, squirt; I’m still a little tender.”
“Oh, sorry,” The filly replied, disappointed that she had hurt her big sister.
“Did you do everything you needed to do?” Fluttershy asked.
“Yeah. Thanks again for watching Scoots, and thanks for the soup. Anyways, I think I’m done for the day, so if you need to get back to the animals, I understand.”
“It was my pleasure, and I don’t really need to get back quite yet. Is there anything else I can do for you?”
“You’ve done more than enough. I promise I’ll see ya tomorrow, okay?” Rainbow said.
“Okay, but if you need anything, you know where to find me.” Fluttershy turned to the orange filly standing next to Rainbow Dash. “Bye, Scootaloo. It was fun playing with you this morning,” Fluttershy said as she waved one last goodbye and left Rainbow’s house.
“I like her. Can she come over more often?” Scootaloo asked as soon as the door was closed.
“Sure, but we need to talk, Scoots.” Her expression turned to fear.
“Am I in trouble? Did something bad happen?”
“No, why would you think that?” Rainbow asked, a little surprised that Scootaloo would jump to that conclusion.
“Because whenever a grownup says ‘We need to talk,’ it means something bad.”
“Well, this time it doesn’t mean that.”
“Oh, okay,” Scootaloo said cautiously as she sat down on her haunches, “What do we need to talk about?”
“I went to visit your Mom today Scoots-”
Scootaloo started to shake. “You said I could stay here! You said I didn’t have to do anything I don’t want to! You promised!” the filly yelled.
Rainbow kept her voice calm and low, resisting the urge to match Scootaloo’s volume increase with her own. “Easy there, I’m not going to make you go back home if you don’t want to. But I did promise that I would bring you over to talk with her.”
“Why would you promise that!? I told you I never wanted to see her again,”
“Trust me on this, kid. You don’t want to cut your mom out of your life. She’s the only one you get. I’m not saying you have to forgive her, that’s up to you, but don’t you think you at least kind of owe it to her to hear what she has to say?”
“No.”
“Really, Scoots? I went to your house; I saw a lot of pictures of a happy little filly and her Mom. Are you telling me that she hasn’t ever done anything ever to earn a few minutes of your time?”
“I’m not going to forgive her,” Scootaloo said, crossing her forelegs in front of her in a show of defiance as she turned away from Rainbow Dash.
“Maybe not. Sometimes there are things you just can’t forgive. Like I said, it’s up to you, but I think you should at least hear her out.”
Scootaloo sniffled loudly “You’re really not going to make me go back if I don’t want to?” she asked, looking over her shoulder.
Rainbow shook her head and tried to smile reassuringly. “No. This has to be your call, Scoots. And listen, no matter what you decide, that room upstairs is yours. So, if you ever need a place to stay, or if you just want to come for a sleepover, it’s always going to be there for you. And if you get scared and want to crawl into my bed, I’m always going to be here for you too. That’s not going to change.”
“Do you mean that?” Scootaloo asked with such sincerity that Rainbow was taken aback.
“Of course I do.”
Scootaloo shook her head. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it. Ponies are always telling me things they don’t mean. My dad said that he’d always be there for me, and then when that wasn’t true, Mom said that she’d never let anything bad happen to me ever again. And you saw how well that worked out.I… really really can’t handle anymore ponies letting me down,” she said, on the verge of breaking into tears.
Scootaloo’s words pierced Rainbow’s heart like an ice pick. Rainbow knew the world could be a cruel place, but a filly her age shouldn’t have had to learn that yet. “Oh, Scoots,” was all the response she could muster.
Scootaloo sat on her haunches, staring at the ground, mentally preparing herself for the inevitable rejection that life had taught her was coming.
Rainbow gently lifted the tiny orange muzzle with her wing. “I won’t promise that I’ll always be here for you, and I won’t promise that nothing bad will ever happen to you. I’ll just promise you this: until there is not a breath left in me, I will do everything I possibly can to make sure that you are as safe and happy as a filly as awesome as you deserves to be. That’s a promise, Scoots. If you’ve ever believed anything, believe that.”
Scootaloo sniffled loudly again and wordlessly hugged the cyan pegasus who took her in and protected her when she was all but certain that nopony could help her. Words escaped her as she buried herself in the now familiar warmth of her big sister. She felt a soft hoof run through her mane, and she let out a small yelp that was equal parts sorrow and joy. The peaks and valleys of the last few days again overwhelmed her tiny heart, and despite her best efforts, she began to sob, and burrowed herself deeper in the embrace, resting her head just under Rainbow’s chin.
Rainbow ignored the pain generated by the tiny filly pressing against her and wrapped a wing around her as she continued to stroke the soft purple mane.
After a few minutes, Scootaloo’s breathing evened out and she was able to wipe the last remnants of the tears from her eyes.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m crying... all I’ve done is cry for the last few days. You must think I’m really lame,” Scootaloo said quietly, keeping herself in close proximity to Rainbow Dash.
“How could I possibly think that? You are the coolest little filly I know.” After a moment’s pause and some quiet thought, Rainbow continued. “I’ll let you in on a little secret…I cry sometimes, too.”
Nothing had ever surprised Scootaloo as much as that last statement. “Really? But you’re Rainbow Dash, the toughest, most awesome pegasus in all of Equestria!”
“And don’t you forget it,” Rainbow said playfully with a hint of her trademark arrogance, “It took me a while, but I’ve learned that it’s not good to keep your feelings bottled up all the time. So, if you feel like you need to cry, you go ahead and cry. Won’t bother me one bit.”
Scootaloo looked up from her temporary haven under Rainbow’s wing. “Thank you.” Those two words seemed too brief and inadequate to express the weight and meaning she wanted to put behind them.
“I love you, Scoots,” Rainbow whispered as she rested her head on top of Scootaloo’s own. The two pegasi shared a moment of quiet support before Rainbow felt comfortable breaking away ever so slightly. “Here. Your mom wanted you to have this.” Rainbow reached over and pulled the picture out of her saddle bag. She gave it to Scootaloo, who wordlessly held it between her hooves for a second before pulling it close to her chest.
The two pegasi spent the rest of a quiet day together. They were under orders to take it easy, so that’s exactly what they did. There were some games of battle clouds, which Rainbow won three games to two despite a protest from Scootaloo about the legality of moving your clouds during the game, they watched the most recent episode of Baking Bad, and Rainbow taught Scootaloo how to make her own version of hay noodles with tofu balls. All in all, it was just the kind of relaxing day the doctor ordered. Rainbow kept a close eye on Scootaloo throughout the day, as she was still concerned about the little filly, but since her catharsis that afternoon she seemed to be doing a little better. In any case, the rest of the day passed without incident. As the night grew late, Rainbow began to notice Scootaloo’s eyelids beginning to droop.
“I think it’s somepony’s bedtime.”
Scootaloo inadvertently let a yawn escape and grinned sheepishly. “Will you tell me a bedtime story?”
“Sure, Scoots. Where are you sleeping tonight?”
“I think…I think I can sleep in my room,” the filly replied somewhat hesitantly.
“Alright. Why don’t you head on up and I’ll be there in a minute.”
Scootaloo went upstairs, leaving Rainbow alone to think about her day. She thought about what Fluttershy had told her, and she thought about her talk with Mist, but mostly she thought about everything Scootaloo had been through. If Rainbow was being really honest with herself, she knew she had a tendency to be selfish sometimes. It wasn’t that she meant to be; she just got so focused on what she wanted that she forgot to think about what other ponies might want. Fluttershy’s words again echoed in her head. Three thoughts permeated her consciousness. Scootaloo needed someone who would consistently be there for her.
I’m not sure I can be that pony.
I might not have a choice.