//------------------------------// // Essence's Discovery [Revised] // Story: The Songs of True Madness // by Kaffeina //------------------------------// My day was following a very strange pattern of events, as compared to usual. The first was probably the pattern of green, speckled with beams of light, that was in my field of vision when I awoke. I frowned. “My ceiling most definitely does NOT look like that,” I said aloud. My voice sounded off too, but it was still my morning voice, and I shrugged it off. I sat up, groaning as something poked me in the arse, rather painfully I might add. Looking down, I almost let out a scream. My new location explained the leaves and branches above me, but did not give a sense of safety like a bed. How in the seventh hell I had fallen asleep or remained asleep in a tree, I did not have any clue. Still, I looked at the branch below me and cautiously tried putting a foot on it. Nothing happened as I started putting more weight into my step before finally shifting my other foot onto the branch as well. It creaked, but otherwise remained fine. I grabbed my original branch before shifting my grip to the trunk of the tree itself and moving downwards. I felt something twitch, a muscle in my back most likely, and ignored it as I started making my next step; a smaller branch, but it was still thick enough I decided that putting my weight on it was most definitely worth the risk. Repeating what I had done with the previous branch, I shifted my body down and heard the creak. Closing my eyes, I finally let my full weight fall on the branch. Cre-ACK! The branch I believed to be sturdy enough snapped like one of its twig cousins and I plummeted past it siblings towards the ground. On instinct, I twisted my body and hit the ground with a thud. By some miracle, I had managed to land on my feet and I celebrated a momentary victory, only for that muscle to twitch again. When I looked back, a tail of amazingly fluffy proportions was extended from what I guessed to be the base of my spine. “...That wasn’t there last night.” Did I get drunk? I wondered, bringing up the memory of last night. A few more seconds of concentration later and I deemed that it was most definitely not a drunken prank or idea. I reached back and attempted to tug it off, hoping it was just taped on there or something. As soon as I pulled I gave an almighty yelp and hissed violently. “Ow… Definitely real, not doing that again,” I said to myself. I bit my lip and rubbed the now-sore spot at the base of my tag. A little further down than socially acceptable, but at this point I was in the wilderness and did not care. “My arse is most definitely more attractive though,” I mused. The forest around me seemed typical of what I would expect of the woods near my hometown. Deep greens mingled with brown on the forest floor while lighter greens lit up by morning light seemed to glisten and add to the melancholic feel of the forest. It felt quite a bit like home. I took a deep breath and looked around for evidence that someone had put me in the tree or even that I had managed to fall there. How I would fall into the tree was beyond me, but writing a possibility off wasn’t something I was ready to do quite yet. The forest floor and tree itself yielded no evidence as to how I had ended up there which made it seem like I had randomly appeared in the tree with no disturbances. Deciding that waking up in a tree was most definitely the least of my worries at the moment, I gave a sigh and turned around. The forest itself was also clearer and I could smell something odd. It seemed that I had not only gained a tail, but also other cat-like senses. I brought my hands up to my head to inspect my next suspicion, noting my clearly longer hair,. “...Yup, ears too. I must be fucking adorable.” I subdued a grin and was immediately aware of some sounds coming from a different part of the forest, my new ears flicking in reaction to the noises assaulting them. Sure, I might not be fully human anymore but these better senses were a major improvement by comparison. I listened for a moment longer before finally getting a feel on the direction the ruckus seemed to be coming from. Without a second thought, I immediately made towards it, hoping it would be something familiar. In hindsight, they do say curiosity killed the cat, and I ended up definitely regretting my decision to go towards it, instead of going the opposite direction. The ruckus was a very fantasy-esque scene. A very large alabaster horse, or perhaps pegacorn in this case, was standing next to some rocks shaped like disturbingly perfect spheres. She also seemed to be standing in a very run-down castle and was yelling at something in the sky. When I focused on the source of her ire, I spotted a comparatively blue pegacorn. The white one’s rather large flank had a ornate sun on it and her mane was a flowing river of pastel colors. She yelled something towards the other one, something I barely heard as the room was hit by a burst of what was probably magic. A few rocks fell and the white horse’s head dipped down, followed by a bright glow and the rocks lifting off the ground. Something told me I should leave, but I was rooted to the spot by the gripping sight of the ongoing spectacle. Before I had a chance to react, a godsdamned. Motherfucking. RAINBOW blasted from white horse and slammed into the other one. I was in pure and utter awe of the situation until the same bloody rainbow suddenly veered around and hit me. When it finally cleared, I was in a small room and down below me, I could see an entire motherfucking continent through the cool glass floor. “What in the motherfuck?” The next few centuries (which is absolutely ridiculous since I’m pretty sure I wasn’t this old aged before) were filled with me sitting in boredom. Here and there I found new abilities, the weirdest being that I could conjure bubbles of varying types. “This whole scenario feels stupid,” I muttered aloud, looking down at the continent that had been in my sight for this entire period of time. The more useful of my powers, so far, was the ability to summon divine fucking weapons. Actually a pretty badass, and hopefully useful, power. I flicked a new-found sword of mine around. I wasn’t sure of the name and origins but it was mostly definitely useful. Mjolnir was the weapon that had given the ability away. I looked around the familiar room again, all of the dust and varying things in their places. There were some books which were also outdated and the pages were so old and yellow they were falling to pieces with the slightest touch. I tossed the sword off to the side, humming as it disappeared. I hummed for a few more seconds before the floor literally vanished. “Fucking-” I yelped as I suddenly began plummeting towards the ground at incredibly high speeds. I screamed out a list expletives that are not suitable for underage people and distasteful even to adults. After a few moments of falling, I slammed into the ground hard enough to leave a crater. The dust and dirt billowed upwards and I could hear coughing as my vision spun. After a few minutes I peeled myself up off the ground. “That hurt like hell.” My vision swam momentarily before blacking out, though not before I could catch a glimpse of a lavender unicorn. When I finally opened my eyes, a hospital room greeted my vision. The lights on the ceiling were almost blinding and far closer than they should have been. I finally sat up with a shock. A slight amount of glee filled me, as I was no longer imprisoned in the room. The glee vanished quickly as I blinked. In front of me were a bunch of small horses in every color of the rainbow and in one case, quite literally. I stared for a couple of seconds. There was clear intelligence in their eyes, and I waited for one of them to do something. “Um… hello?” the lavender one said. I blinked and stared, “...And you talk too,” I finally muttered, rubbing my head with a sigh. What a crazy experience. “You do as well,” it answered in its effeminate voice. Not surprising from a pastel pony, I thought. “Yeah, but I’m used to ponies NOT talking,” I retorted. “Why wouldn’t ponies talk?” she asked, tilting her head slightly. The rest watched just as enthralled. Are these things mental. “...Because you’re animals who lack the necessary biological abilities to speak English. Sure,” I paused, looking at them, “maybe you could have your own language, but it wouldn’t sound like this. Meh, I’ll muck it to fuck it to magic.” “...” the lavender horse remained quiet and the pink one looked ready to burst. I reached out and poked her, inciting a massive explosion of confetti. When the small pastel-paper mushroom cloud finally cleared, leaving a pretty decent sized mess on the floor, the pink pony was grinning madly. “WELCOME TO PONYVILLE PARTY~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” she screamed, almost blowing out my eardrums in the process. When I finally managed to wipe the spittle from my face, the pony was blinking. Blinking with light I mean, she was actually fucking glowing. “TEN.” “Wait, hold up. What the fuck is this,” I asked, looking at the other horses. Fear was plastered across their faces- literally. Confetti stuck to their faces, spelling out the word ‘Fear.’ This was, in fact, quite frightening. “...” At least, it was supposed to be. “NINE.” The room remained silent. “EIGTHSEVENSIXFIVEFOURTHREETWOONE!” I closed my eyes and looked away. A few seconds of waiting later, I looked back and an explosion of glitter blasted out from the… Rainbow horse? “What the- BLECK.” I coughed as the rush of glitter invaded my mouth and nose. My eyes watered as I coughed and sneezed it out. When I finally cleared most of it, I wiped my eyes. “What the actual fuck?” I was no longer in the hospital room and instead was sitting down in a restaurant of some sort. In fact, the restaurant's air itself tasted of sugar. Heavily. “...How in-?” I was interrupted by the pink pony from before almost bolting out the kitchen with a giant cake. “This is getting too ridiculous,” I said out loud, looking around at the pastel horses. “Especially since I’m in the land of rainbow horses after being trapped who knows where for a millenia,” I muttered. The lavender horse almost choked on the piece of cake she had grabbed, “You’re from 1,000 years ago? Were you there for Princess Luna and Princess Celestia’s fight? Did you see any of it?” She blasted off on a thousand other questions before I sent a bubble straight into her mouth, stopping her with the taste of soap. “Calm the bloody fuck down, I saw like five seconds tops,” I answered. “If you’re 1,000 years old we need to get Princess Celestia!” She practically sprinted out of the building and I had a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. A few seconds later she reappeared with a small flash of light and tossed something at the dragon. “Send that Spike!” It disappeared with green fire and a few seconds later there was another flash, with the same effect as Twilight’s, whose name I had learned from Spike, but with a much brighter light accompanying it. When my eyes finally recovered, I was greeted by the sight of the large alabaster pegacorn from before. She eyed me for a few seconds. “You were there during my fight with my sister,” I paled in response, the bad feeling churning again. “Guards! Seize her!” Twilight’s jaw dropped, “Wait why?” “We have evidence of her crimes many years past, both against Equestria, and against the countries we neighbor,” Celestia answered. I froze, looking between the two and saw Twilight’s face switch to one of anger. “Hold the fucking phone...” “If you deny your involvement, I will be forced to expose you!” her horn glowed extremely bright and I cursed loudly as a stream of light slammed into the pit of my stomach. Hunching over, everything went black. “Is she retarded?” I muttered before properly passing out.