After forcefully dragging me through the streets of Ponyville, Earth Pony deposits me inside the schoolhouse, and I scoot my sore body over to my desk in the back corner of the room as I massage the areas of my back where they had been roughly pulled over the threshold. Earth Pony zooms to a desk in the front row, and to my horror, the Cutie Mark Crusaders take their seats in the chairs closest to mine. Apple Bloom keeps trying to catch my eye, so I quickly busy myself with squeezing into my chair. All chatter ceases abruptly as Cheerilee enters the room with a yellow mare, who looks positively terrified as she slowly walks to the front of the room, trembling so violently that the contents of her saddlebags rattle around and emit some peculiar squeaking noises.
"This is Ms. Fluttershy. She's going to talk about caring for small creatures. When she is talking, I want you all to remember to give her your full attention and be respectful." With a meaningful glare in the direction of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Cheerilee adds, "If I hear anypony talking out of turn, I will take away their recess privileges for the remainder of the week." Cheerilee retreats to her desk, which has been pushed to the side of the room to allow Fluttershy more room at the front of the classroom.
"Hi everypony. I'm, um, going to show you some of my animals," Fluttershy squeaks,"and show you how to care for them." She sets her abnormally large saddlebags on the floor, allowing an assortment of animals to slip out and regard the foals with wide eyes. Picking up a bunny, she says, "This is my pet bunny. Like all bunnies, he eats vegetables such as lettuce and carrots, but this particular bunny is a rather picky eater and prefers elaborately made meals. He is-"
"Totally lame," mutters Diamond Tiara. Silver Spoon snickers.
"A highly interesting creature, not to mention kind and loving." Fluttershy leans down and gently sets the bunny on the floor and picks up a turtle with a strange contraption attached to it's shell. Scootaloo's eyes widen in recognition and she leans forward with suddenly renewed interest. "This is Tank. Most ponies would probably guess that he's a turtle, but he's not. Tank is actually a tortoise. He is my friend's pet, but Rainbow Dash was kind enough to allow me to borrow him for this presentation."
Upon hearing her idol's name, Scootaloo bursts with happiness and voices her admiration to the ponies closest to her. Unfortunately, I am one of those ponies.
"OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH! I LOVE RAINBOW DASH!" Scootaloo whispers loudly.
For the next two hours I fidget in my chair, unable to hear a single word Fluttershy was saying over Scootaloo gushing on and on about how awesome Rainbow Dash is. When the bell rings, cutting off Scootaloo's long, profound explanation on how weak and pathetic I am in comparison to the rainbow-maned pegasus, I unclench my teeth and slump down in my chair. Finally, the orange chicken has shut up.
I slide out of my chair and start to follow Cheerilee and my classmates out to the schoolyard for recess when I hear a very small noise from behind me. I turn around to see Fluttershy standing there with one hoof stretching towards the other end of the classroom, as if she is indecisive about whether she should approach me or not. She decides on the former and slowly walks towards me.
"Um, hello. I heard that you are new to Ponyville and I'm trying to meet new ponies. My friends say that if I meet more people, I won't be as nervous about talking to ponies I don't know very well. I was wondering if maybe you want to stay inside and help me with the animals? Um, If that's okay with you."
Recess is my only opportunity during the school day to go outside, and it's hard to just pass that up. On the other ha- I mean hoof, this is a great opportunity to escape from my classmates, right? A chance to be away from Scootaloo? Awesome, I'll take it! I smile up at the cowering pegasus.
"Of course I will. I love animals," I pause and glance down at a furry creature gnawing on my leg like a dog would chew on a bone."Yeah, totally adorable." Pony skin, or whatever the stuff is, is apparently much tougher than human skin because the teeth aren't really hurting me. It's still annoying though.
"I need to round up all the animals so that I can take them home. Most of them are hiding somewhere in the classroom and you'll need to search for them, but you have to be quiet. Noise tends to scare them away." Fluttershy begins to coax a mouse out of a potted plant, and I take that as my cue to start looking. Preferably with more mobility of my back left leg. I try tugging the bunny off of my leg, but it just digs it's teeth in and stays firmly attached to me.
"Little demon," I growl under my breath, using all of my strength to rip the vicious creature from me. With each tug the teeth clamp harder onto me until I can feel pain shooting up my leg. "Get." I grind my teeth and grab the bunny by the middle. "Off." I pull as hard as I can, using a desk to anchor myself in place. "Me!" With a final yank, the bunny goes flying across the room, landing hard on the floor and going still. Fluttershy thanks me for ridding her of this vile creature, and Luna is so pleased with me that she sends me back to Earth. I get a girlfriend and live happily ever after in my enormous mansion. The end.
Fine, that's not what happens. I wish it does though.
The bunny flies a couple feet and lands softly on a plush carpet. He's clearly unharmed, but he's evil and he fakes a look of very exaggerated intense agony as he walks with an exaggerated limp over to Fluttershy.
"Oh no, are you hurt?" The bunny nods and I roll my eyes. "What happened? Fluttershy asks. The evil thing points at me and Fluttershy narrows her eyes. Her voice drops dangerously low. "You hurt Angel Bunny? How could you! Why would you hurt such an innocent creature? I can't believe you. You should be ashamed of yourself. Animals have feelings too, just like other ponies." Fluttershy glares at me, causing me to cringe. "That was a very cruel thing you just did. I hope you regret your actions." I'm too shocked to say anything in my defense as Flutttershy whips around and strides out the door. "C'mon angel Bunny, we're going home so I can take care of you. I gathered all of the animals while the mean pony was abusing you." Angel Bunny, perched on Fluttershy's shoulder, sticks his tongue out at me and blows a raspberry, leaving me alone with that awful hollow feeling inside me. The feeling of guilt. I haven't done anything wrong, it was all the stupid bunny, so why do I feel so guilty?