//------------------------------// // The Princess of the Night // Story: Why Am I A Filly? // by Sleepy Panda //------------------------------// So you know how ponies in the how are always having strange dreams with Princess Luna in them? I experience one of those dreams tonight. I know that I am dreaming before I even open my eyes. I'm not exactly sure how I know, but I do. I think that this is what people call a lucid dream. Nothing in my surroundings indicates that this is a dream, but as I said before, I just know that it is. I'm standing in a grass field, all four of my hooves firmly planted on the ground. Unfortunately, even though this is just a dream, I'm still a pony. I try to walk forward, but I can't walk. I can't lift a single hoof. It's as if my hooves are glued to the ground, so I just stand there and do nothing. I don't bother trying to it down because even if I was somehow flexible enough to find some way to lower my bottom to the ground, I don't think I would be able to stand up being that my hooves are stuck firmly in place. Why, I have a hard time standing up when I have full mobility of my body and there's somepony else helping me up. What type of a dream is this, anyway? It has to be the most boring dream in the history of Equestria. No, in the history of the universe. Just as my legs are falling asleep,the fur on my coat prickles and an almost familiar sensation washes over me. It's almost like that type of feeling you get when you're being watched, but different. It feels like... powerful magic. Hmm, let me think. What could possibly have powerful magic in a pony's dream? Yep, I know who. My answer is confirmed as she materializes in front of me. "Hello, Nick. I've been awaiting your arrival for quite a while." Wait a second, how does Princess Luna know my name? Maybe being one of the rulers of Equestria gave her special know-everything-about-everypony-and-everything powers. "You've been waiting for me? And since you know my name, I'm just going to jump ahead and assume that you must know why I'm a human. Do you?" "Indeed I do. In fact, it was I who sent you here. I-" "Wait a second," I interrupted. "You mean to tell me that you sent me here and turned me into a little filly?" "Yes, I did, but-" "No. This is not okay. Send me back RIGHT NOW!" I shouted. "No." Really, Luna? Stop being so stubborn. "Why not?" Luna starts pacing back and forth, most likely trying to come up with some stupid excuse. I follow her with my narrowed eyes, slightly jealous. I wish that she wouldn't pace like that, because each step was taunting me, reminding me that she can move and I can't. I notice a dull pain in my jaw and unclench my teeth. Frustration is hard on a pony. "I brought you here for a very specific reason that I can't divulge. Not yet, anyway. I will send you home eventually, but only if you follow my instructions." She pauses her pacing and looks towards me, obviously waiting for me to give her a reply. I don't give her one. Instead, I look deep into her eyes and keep my mouth shut. I'm afraid that something vulgar or offensive could slip out of my mouth and jeopardize any chances I have of getting home. I've never really noticed how pretty Luna's eyes are. They're all sparkly and deep and- Luna blinks and turns around to resume her irritating pacing. "So first of all, you cannot tell anyone about your human nature." I hadn't been planning to, so this shouldn't be too much of a problem. "Secondly, you are to attend school every day, excluding weekends." My jaw drops. No. I already did school, and back on Earth, I'm old enough to drop out of school. There is no way I am doing it again. "But-!" I protest. "No buts. Also, you'll have to take up residence with a pegasus named Ditzy Doo." I don't know how I feel about that. Don't get me wrong, I love that pony, but I am not so sure how I feel about actually living with her. She can be a bit... destructive. "And finally, you must do something very important for me, but I'm not telling you what. Fail to complete any of these tasks and I will take it upon myself to personally ensure you never leave Equestria. If you have any questions, now would be the time to ask them, excluding any questions you may have about your unknown task." "Really? THAT'S why you brought me here, to make me do some stupid task? If I don't know what the task is, so how am I supposed to do it? I don't want to be a pony, and you have no right to keep me here! You are such a- I mean, I'll do my best, your majesty." Defeated, I lower my head, avoiding eye contact. I don't know much about pony customs, but I do know a little about dogs seeing as I own four of them. From what I've observed about my dogs, they usually see eye contact as a sign of aggression and bowing down as a sign of submission. At least, three of my four dogs do. Peppermint, my German Shepard, sees everything as a sign of aggression. Why isn't Luna responding? She's not saying anything. Say something, Luna, don't keep me nervously waiting as the silence grows more awkward. Am I sweating? Maybe I should look up and investigate the reason behind Luna's unresponsiveness, but what if that offends her? I can never be too careful with the princess of the night. On the other hand, or hoof as it may be, if I never look up, she might see that as rudeness and she might- you know what? Forget it. I risk a glance upward at where Luna had been previously standing. I guess that's why she never responded; Luna is gone. The once colorful grass beneath my hooves has darkened in color and is now slowly melting away, leaving me in the center of a shrinking circular patch of dying grass, growing smaller with every passing moment. Having nothing to stand on when it completely disappears under my hooves, I start to fall through space, complete darkness. As I fall, I don't seem to be spinning, but falling straight down with my hooves pointed upwards. I feel like I am falling forever, but I know that it can't be longer than a couple minutes when my head hits the pillow and my eyes fly open. Instinctively, I squint my abnormally large eyes against the blinding morning sunlight. My bed is unfortunately positioned directly underneath a bedroom window, so I get the full blast of light in my face. Ugh, sun. I don't usually mind sun, but in the morning it's nothing but a downright nuisance. "Did you sleep good last night?" Not wanting to go into a lengthy description of my conversation with Princess Luna, I start to give her a thumbs up, but that is a rather difficult task to accomplish when you don't have any thumbs, so I just nod and yawn sleepily as I stretch. How early was it? "Great, because we have to go to school soon, and you need your energy today. Last Friday, Miss Cheerilee announced that she had something special planned for today. Oh, and we also need time to eat breakfast, so you might want to kinda hurry and meet me in the kitchen in a couple minutes." Inwardly, I groan. School? Again? I just hope that the "something special planned" doesn't involve sing-along songs or crafts or dancing or pretty much anything else that I had to endure throughout my elementary school years. As I trot into the kitchen, I silently thank my luck for not having to climb any stairs. I would have to climb stairs eventually, but I am going to avoid that moment for as long as possible. Chairs, however, are something that I cannot escape, and the kitchen table is surrounded by those wretched things. Fun. Earth Pony's Father looks up from his newspaper. "Good Morning, Berry Blossom. Here come sit down next to Earth Pony." I approach the chair and eye it cautiously, trying to determine whether the evil thing will kill me. The wooden structure was waiting for me, thinking about the best way to injure me and dump me onto the white tile floor. Somehow, with the strength and agility of an Olympic gymnast, I manage to squirm into the seat without inflicting too much damage upon my delicate little pony body. "What would you like for breakfast?" "Um... I don't know..." I get the feeling that bacon is not part of a normal pony diet. "What do you have?" "You know, just the usual stuff. Toasted hay, oatmeal, muffins-" "No we don't, daddy. I'm eating the last one right now." "Didn't Ditzy Doo deliver some just yesterday?" "Yeah, but I kinda got really hungry in the middle of the night, so... hehe..." Her father gives her a stern look as she sheepishly grinned at him. He sighed. "Okay. So we don't have muffins, then. I think we have a box of WheatyBuncheez," he motions towards the box of cereal sitting on the table, "and I could always whip you up some pancakes." "I guess I'll just have some oatmeal." As l long as it was somewhat similar to what I was used to, it can't taste too bad. Although oatmeal isn't my favorite breakfast food, I don't have any desire to eat grass, I would have no way of knowing what the pancakes are made of, and I don't feel like trying Wheaty-something-ies. I sit in silence as Earth Pony's dad leaves the table to prepare my meal. After all, it is pretty arduous to have a conversation with a filly when she's stuffing her mouth with a gigantic muffin. That, and the fact that I have absolutely no idea what girls talk about, especially not third grade girls, except that they probably don't enjoy talking about the same things my friends and I like to talk about. Sports, video games, mean teachers, that sort of stuff. When the bowl of oatmeal is set in front of me, I gather my courage, scoop up a large mouthful of the stuff, and lift it up to my open mouth, only to be interrupted by an earsplitting noise. "OH MY ALICORN, WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL!" Earth Pony shrieked, dragging me out of the chair and out the front door with my tail clamped firmly between her teeth. My spoon clattered to the floor and my uneaten oatmeal teetered on the very edge of the table for just a moment then fell, and with a crash, flipped over and landed on the hard kitchen floor. As I am whisked out the door, I catch a glimpse of the shattered ceramic bowl that once held my breakfast. Earth Pony's dad is still deeply engaged in his newspaper.