Hearts Aflutter – Chapter 8
Radiance (Part 2)
All of a sudden, the loud, reverberating blare of an air-horn filled the room, giving the pair an unforgiving and somewhat mean wake-up call.
“It’s time to wake up, you two,” the Doctor said, ceasing the noise for a blissful moment of partial silence. “I know, I know - I’m great company. But neither of you really want to be here any more than you should, am I right?”
Fluttershy opened her eyes, squinting in the light, and sat up, only to see Rainbow beside her, unmoving despite the rude awakening. And she was awake, despite overtly trying to hide it.
“Um, Rainbow," she mumbled, poking her lightly on the shoulder. "It’s probably better if we do as he says. They might need the beds for somepony else, and we’re in the way, or...”
“Yeah yeah... just a few more minutes...” Dash replied grumpily.
She winced as the Doctor blasted the air horn again - which was also confusing. Weren’t there patients that would be affected by the sound? When asked, however, he merely shrugged the question off and resumed his attempt to eject them from the premises.
“Rainbow Dash, will you please just get up?” he pleaded. “I’ve been on call for hours, but I can’t go home until you two are out of here.”
With a heavily muffled groan, Dash pushed herself up and plopped over the side, barely landing on all four hooves. “Alright, alright... I’m...”
She started to lean sideways, and from the corner of her eye, Fluttershy noticed the horn being readied again.
“Um, please don’t,” she said, before stepping up in front of Rainbow, leaning forward cautiously. A simple kiss was all it took – she shot up completely straight, wide eyes frantically searching the room before focusing on Fluttershy, who had jumped backwards and
“Um, it’s time to go.”
“Uh... Oh! Oh, right! Heh, sorry Doc’!”
He cleared his throat, moving stiffly aside as they left the room, heading out past reception. He followed them briefly, if only because there was another patient he had to see before he left. Yes, yes, other patients to see.
Nevertheless, he couldn’t hold back a happy whistle.
---
...these muscles are shared by both the wings and the forelegs - therefore, in order to effectively regain the optimum physical output of the wings, the patient must also undergo physical training to rebuild the...
She yawned.
...Darnit! To rebuild and strengthen the supercora- wait, no, supracora...coid...eal... Supracoracoideal muscles, the pectorals, and others surrounding the scapula in the shoulder. This can be done in a variety of ways, but a simple and effective method is that of regular exercise and a proper nutritious diet, as is the case for earth ponies and unicorns – the only significant difference here is that these exercises are to be focused on the wings, rather than the forelegs.
So tired...
...In addition to regular exercise, the patient must also undergo regular therapeutic massage... man, I could use a massage... beginning with light rainbow, progressing slowly towards deeper massage techniques as the treatment begins to exert more strain upon the patient's wings.
The patient’s diet should include a large variety of high-protein foods such as rainbows, berries, certain kinds of beans, most kinds of nuts, etc. Wait, what? Since when were rainbows high in protein? Anyways... While apples should be avoided as a food, not having the proper nutritional requirements for this purpose, as a substitute for water the apple's juice is highly-
“Rainbow Dash!”
With her concentration finally broken, and her pride also fractured thanks to her fall from the kitchen stool, Rainbow Dash looked blearily at the mare who had been trying to get her attention, slightly annoyed at the abrupt interruption of her studies.
“Oh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you, it’s just that you were concentrating so hard, but I really needed to tell you something, and...”
As Fluttershy rambled, Dash got up off the floor and kissed her cheek, immediately shutting her up. “It’s fine. Uh... so what were you saying?”
“Well, you see,” ‘Shy replied through her blush, “It’s kind of late, and I know how hard you’re working for me, but... well... you shouldn’t spend all night reading again.”
“But I have to!” she said, stubbornly holding the book open, despite Fluttershy’s tender attempt to close it. “You know how soon I have to know all of this – we start the day after tomorrow!”
“So, um, why can’t you finish all of these books tomorrow?”
“Uh... Well, you know, it’s just better to-”
“No, Rainbow,” she said, shaking her head. “You’ve had about two hours sleep in as many days, and that’s not good for anypony. We both need to be at our best over the next few weeks, and you need to go to bed.”
“But-”
“No buts,” she asserted, her voice taking on a slightly sterner tone. “Listen to yourself – you’re croaking more than Mr Toady. I know you’re doing this because you care about me, Rainbow – and I’m doing this because I care about you. It’s time for bed, Rainbow Dash.”
"...Alright," Dash sighed, marking the page and closing the book. Fluttershy smiled sweetly, nuzzling her before they both went upstairs, and despite her earlier protests, she was out like a light the moment she hit the mattress.
---
It wasn’t too early in the morning, but neither was it late when Rainbow Dash had woken her up, telling her that through this week they’d be getting up earlier and earlier in preparation for the physiotherapy. Fluttershy could tell she was serious – she was wearing her white coaching headband again, and she was speaking in a gruff, gravelly tone lower than her usual speaking voice. She sat her down at the kitchen bench, then began digging around in her enormous pantry and selected a few things, putting them in a pile beside her.
“What do you normally eat for breakfast?” Dash asked, poking her head out from the abyssal food-storage unit.
“Oh, um, I mostly eat some Cheerileos or-”
“Wrong!” Dash cried, slamming a variety of items onto the bench before Fluttershy. “This is what you eat for breakfast now. Your wings are weak and puny-”
“But-“
“Weak and puny! It’s because you slept too long! You need them big and strong for when you start learning to fly again, and the only way to do that is to make them big and strong! You’re not an animal caretaker anymore, ‘Shy – you’re a bodybuilder, and now you have to eat like one!”
She got out a large bowl and filled it with oats...
“Um, that doesn’t really look like-”
...then a bag full of various dried fruits...
“Oh, um-”
...and then she added an enormous helping of nuts – nearly every shape, size and variety she could think of went into it.
“This is breakfast,” Dash said.
“I really have to eat all of this?” she replied incredulously.
“Not today you don’t – but you’ll wish you had.”
“Oh my...”
As she tucked into the huge bowl of muesli, Fluttershy smiled inwardly. Dash had spent so long worrying, but now, before they’d even started the treatment, she was already doing an excellent job of coaching. She was just like Typhoon back in Flight School, voice and all – though maybe a bit less traumatising. But still, Fluttershy had to admit, she’d done nothing more than make breakfast and shout a little bit. Maybe it was too soon to tell.
She nearly choked on a mouthful, laughing as Dash was both physically and verbally assaulted by Chip Squirrel, and she suddenly knew where Rainbow had gotten all of the nuts. She sat amidst the chaos, chewing thoughtfully as Rainbow careened about the living room behind her, every attempt to get Chip out of her mane failing catastrophically. For such a small creature, the squirrel was highly skilled at attacking pegasi.
While normally she would have helped, there wasn’t much she could do because of the speed Dash was flying at – which, admittedly, was not a good indoor speed. Besides that, she doubted Chip would calm down for quite a while. He always was a little... impulsive, when it came to his belongings. If it came down to it, she could use the Stare, but that was for special cases.
“Oh, Angel,” she said, turning to the bunny sitting on the stool beside her. “You will help Rainbow get Chip off of her, won’t you?”
Soon, he gestured in reply, but patted his pocket watch gently, as if waiting for the right time. Now eat up. I pity the foal who don’t eat her breakfast.
---
“Chip, I want you to apologise to Rainbow Dash right away.”
There was an outburst of angry squeaks and chitters, stretching on for a quite a while before she finally replied, “Now now, don’t be so pouty. I’m sure she didn’t know that your stash was on the third shelf of the pantry, while my own was on the second shelf.”
He let loose some more squeaks.
“I can understand that,” she said ruefully, “But that doesn’t excuse your behaviour. A few nuts-”
More angry chitters erupted. “...A lot of nuts, while they may have been important, are not necessarily grounds for a squirrelian blood-feud between the two of you. It was an accident that is easily fixed, Chip Squirrel.”
He tilted his head questioningly.
“I’ll give you the rest of the nuts in my pantry, and we can go out and buy some more later. Oh, and you mustn’t forget – she didn’t take any of your acorns, either.”
This he seemed to take quite amiably, and he soon bounded away, hopefully with plans to apologise to Rainbow for attacking her. With that settled, Fluttershy trotted off to find Elizabeak, to speak to the chicken for her 'help' in removing the squirrel from Dash’s mane, given through a small supply of eggs launched at Chip in vengeance for a grievance long past. While it had quite easily gotten Chip out of Rainbow Dash’s mane, apparently egg wasn't Rainbow's hair-product of choice. Not to mention her entire living room now smelled like eggs, and her walls would look a little splotchy for a long time to come.
It had taken Fluttershy’s intervention in the end, if only to stop it from escalating into a full-blown war. She’d wanted to see how Rainbow handled it all, but... she didn’t. Not too well. But that was okay – while she regretted the mess it had made in her house, it was worth it – this morning had probably been one of the liveliest and most fun mornings of her entire life.
According to her marefriend, ever since Fluttershy had come back, the more... vivacious animals had stopped listening to her like they had - besides Angel - for the past few months.
"But it's fine," Rainbow said. "I mean... you're back!"
They'd laughed, but even now, Fluttershy could see a trace of disbelief in her eyes, and maybe even a touch of fear, too. But it was all over now - she was here to stay. Nothing could take that away.
After clean-up, the rest of the day passed them by rather quickly – Rainbow had her books to read, and like she’d mentioned earlier, Fluttershy went out shopping. Dash had given her a list of things she should probably be eating that she didn’t have – some of them were decidedly odd, like those buns filled with red-bean paste from the Neighponese shop at the market corner, or a large quantity of wood sorrel from Zecora’s stall – she’d set it up rather recently, realising that while nopony hated her anymore, they were still frightened enough of the Everfree Forest that she didn’t get too many customers for her herbs and potions.
Finally, with the list complete, she headed back home. She was surprised to find that she was out of breath - while she’d never been very active, a day out in Ponyville hadn’t been a problem before. It was almost frightening, when she thought about it – this was only a short walk around town.
She shuddered a little at the thought of the struggles ahead, but cheered up some as she came around the corner of a street and saw the Ponyville Library standing tall before her, its great hollow trunk beckoning invitingly to her. She paused, wondering if Twilight would be busy, but remembered that, busy or not, she always tried to make time for her friends
She hated to impose, but trotted up to the door, deciding to accept that invitation – if not for Twilight’s sake, then for her burning lungs’ instead.
---
“She really...?”
“Oh yes – I don’t think I’ve ever put Beady to sleep as quickly as she did! It was beautiful, really.”
“Wow,” Twilight said. “I haven’t seen her much these past few months – collecting the ingredients for your potion, and keeping it secret of course – really kept me out of the loop. But I’d never have guessed that Rainbow Dash would be that good at taking care of little critters.”
“Well, um, to be perfectly honest, neither would I,” she admitted.
“I’m so glad you came over, Fluttershy,” Twilight said happily. “Since you’ve been awake you’ve been in and out of hospital all the time, and it’s been so long since we’ve really caught up.”
“Oh, it hasn’t been that long- um... nevermind,” she sighed. She was only slowly getting used to the fact that she’d lost so much time in a coma – it honestly felt like just a few days ago since she’d spoken to Twilight about her feelings for Rainbow Dash, and yet here they were, over a quarter of a year since then. It was hard to remember that sometimes.
“It’s alright,” Twilight said kindly. “I know what you meant. And now that you’re here, it is easier to forget how long you’ve been gone. It’s just... really good to have you back.” Eager to change the subject, she asked, “So how far has Rainbow managed to read so far? That was a lot of books.”
“Oh, she’s nearly finished,” Fluttershy replied. “I think she’ll be done today.”
“...Huh?” Did she say ‘nearly finished?’
“Um, I said she’s nearly finished.” Okay, yes she did.
“This is still Rainbow we’re talking about, right?”
“Well, she said that you told her to be finished by the end of the week, so she decided to get a head start, I think.”
“Amazing,” she said. “I always suspected that with proper motivation she could be an excellent student, but... Wow!”
“Oh, and she also said nice things about you too, Twilight – she said you were ‘the best teacher ever.’”
Twilight blushed. “I’m sure she’s just saying that...”
“Oh no,” Fluttershy said. “She was very clear – she wouldn’t stop talking about you for about an hour, and she said so many things about a spell that you did, and how much she’s remembering now.”
“Hehe...” Twilight blushed again, remembering the night before...
“Are you sure about this, Rainbow?”
“Yeah, yeah – just get it over with.”
She flipped the book open to the page, reached deep inside herself and found the wellspring of ethereal energy she poured into her spells. Tapping into it, she manipulated its ‘shape’ – words like ‘memory,’ ‘speed,’ and more flitted about in her head as the spell became a consistent wave of magic – and then she released it.
A violet light poured out of Rainbow Dash, lifting the pegasus into air... and then fizzled out.
It was a dud. She frantically made a mental checklist of everything that she’d done wrong, and realised that she hadn’t – for some reason, that spell just didn’t work. But the only reason that could be was that Rainbow...
No! That couldn’t be. Rainbow Dash didn’t already have an eidetic memory... did she?
“Well, actually the spell didn’t do anything. But…” Actually, there was only one question in Twilight’s mind, and it wasn’t about her spell’s failure. It was about Rainbow having the wonderful gift of a perfect memory, and... “Why not me?”
She was brought back from her musings by a soft voice mumbling, “Um, Twilight? I have to be getting back.”
“Alright – have a great day, Fluttershy,” she said, holding the door open for the grocery laden mare. “It was really good to see you again.”
“Twilight?” Fluttershy asked again, standing in the doorway.
“Yes?”
“Um, if you wouldn’t mind... I mean, I don’t want to impose, but...”
“Go on,” she urged.
Fluttershy scuffed the ground, then shook her head. “Nevermind, it’s nothing.”
“Huh... Well, okay. See you later!” She shut the door, waving goodbye, and then trotted into the centre of the library.
I wonder what she was going to ask... Oh well. Now, what to read first?
---
It had been good to see Twilight, too, Fluttershy thought. She supposed she’d go and say hello to all of her friends sooner or later – but not today. All of this walking was taking a lot more out of her than it probably should have, and carrying so many groceries probably didn’t help much...
Or did it? Maybe walking with weights could be a good way to build up her strength? She’d have to ask Rainbow.
She soon found her way to her cottage, which seemed to be readying itself for another beautiful night. All the birdies were trilling sweet lullabies to their chicks in the evening light, and Mama Bunnies stood outside their hutches, waiting for their babies to come inside.
Looking up to the sky, she saw a cloud floating roughly above her cottage, right where it had been that other time. If there had been a thunderstorm, it would have been nearly identical. It would be a hard road, but she’d be able to lie atop that cloud again, one day.
Her reverie was shattered by a cry, and Rainbow Dash rushing out of the house to greet her, bellowing obscenities happily... Oh, nevermind. She wasn’t happy at all.
“Fluttershy!” Dash shouted, “I told you! I told you not to carry all this stuff yourself!”
“O-Oh, b-but-”
“ Why didn’t you ask Big Mac, or Applejack, or even Pinkie or Twilight for help?”
“U-um, well, I-I didn’t w-want to i-impose...”
“Nevermind about that,” Dash said, scowling. “I told you! You just can’t do anything yourself!”
“Well then why weren’t you there to help me?” she asked, getting to her hooves and walking slowly forward. Suddenly, her eyes weren’t wide anymore – they were sharp as a blade’s edge.
“Where was the Element of Loyalty when her marefriend was in so much danger?
“I was-”
“Oh, of course - you were studying; scared that poor little Klutzershy will hurt herself again, but too busy with your books to care.”
“That’s not-”
“Are you sure?” she retorted – she saw Dash’s eyes widen and look away to the side, and knew she’d hit a nerve. “Just because I asked for your help doesn’t give you the right to yell at me – I may be weak and puny, but I can still carry my own groceries home!”
“Fluttershy, stop.”
“Why should I? What’s the difference between you and me? What makes you just so special that you can put yourself above everypony else as if you’re better than them? I know better than anypony the failings you have, Rainbow Cra-”
"Shut up," Dash growled, and something in her eyes made Fluttershy pause mid-word. Both were surprised at her ferocity, like that of a cornered animal trying not to lose control. "Nopony calls me that - especially not you... Never you. Just... look at your wings."
Fluttershy did so, and she saw them long before she expected to – rather than being tucked snugly to her body, they were fully outstretched – a pegasus’ standard fight-or-flight reaction stance. She tested them experimentally, wiggling one, then the other. They were both sluggish and tired, but they were moving!
She turned back to Rainbow, momentarily distracted from the anger, and she realised what she’d wrought. Dash’s eyes were sad, not angry. It was the tears in her eyes, and it was the look of a confused mare who couldn’t decide whether to cry, scream or laugh it off.
She was hurt, and she’d lashed out, and it was Fluttershy’s fault; but at least she’d managed to hold herself back.
It was a look of pain, and she’d caused it.
Her wings tucked themselves back into place, and she sat down heavily. Fluttershy had done it again. She’d promised herself that she wouldn’t get angry like that ever again, but she’d...
Dash saw the change in her expression. This argument was over. She came up close, laying a hoof over Fluttershy’s, but she didn’t respond, merely turning her head away and closing her eyes.
“Fluttershy, please don’t cry,” Dash said. There was no reply.
“Don’t cry,” she pleaded. “It’s not your fault. I’m so sorry I shouted. I was just so worried about you...”
The yellow mare nodded.
“And don’t worry about what you said. You’re right – I should have been there to help you. I should have been there for you, and I wasn’t.”
She nodded again.
“...Will you forgive me?”
“I should be asking that,” Fluttershy whimpered. Everything she said came flooding right back through her, and she cried after all. “I’m so sorry – what I nearly called you-”
“That didn’t happen. Everything you said was true, and as far as I’m concerned, you’re the better mare here.”
Rainbow Dash, always the protector.
Fluttershy sniffed loudly and wiped her eyes, got up – without her bags this time – and walked slowly over to Rainbow.
“I do forgive you,” she said, giving her a quick hug. She then went inside as Rainbow gathered the bags and followed her.
But do you forgive me?
---
Fluttershy laid her head onto her pillow, sniffing quietly, listening to the rain tapping at her window.
It suited the mood, she thought; it was as it the sky was crying with her.
Arguments were painful. Nobody won.
Rainbow Dash had been justified, if not for shouting then at least in fearing for her safety. Had she been justified in such a cruel retaliation?
Meanness is never justified.
She’d seen Rainbow angry at things before – seen Rainbow scared before, too. Not often had Rainbow been angry or scared for her, but that was besides the point. She hadn’t been mean. Nearly everything she’d said had been true, except that she couldn’t do anything on her own, but again, it didn’t matter. She knew where Rainbow was coming from – what if she had gotten hurt? What if it had happened halfway to her cottage, and nopony found her for hours, or...
Rainbow was right – she had to be more careful from now on.
But everything she’d said had simply been out of spite, and for what? She hadn’t snapped like that since Iron Will, or even the Gala. She‘d been cruel, mean... unkind. And Rainbow had taken the full force of it all.
Fluttershy sniffed again. She was a terrible, terrible-
Knock, knock, knock.
“Fluttershy?”
“O-oh, um, one second,” she replied, wiping her eyes quickly. She opened her bedroom door, finding Rainbow standing there – she didn’t look too good herself, really. Had she been crying too?
“Uh... hey,” Dash mumbled, ruffling her mane. “I was just... uh... you know...”
Fluttershy leaned forward slowly, touching her shoulder, silently asking her to continue.
“Um... A-are we okay? Because you know, if... if you don’t...” She gulped. “Don’t want my help anymore, or... or if... if you want me to go away, I’d understand.”
She was stunned into silence.
This was entirely new to her; she had power. If she wanted her to, Rainbow Dash would leave without a second word. She was just that loyal, just that sorry for being right, even after what Fluttershy had done…
“I get it,” Dash said softly, taking her quietness as a yes. “I’ll be gone by morning.” With that, she turned, leaving the doorway open – a window to a past life, brief but wonderful, with Fluttershy looking out from behind it.
“Never.”
Dash stopped instantly.
“I would never ask you to go away.”
She stepped around to the front of the downcast mare, lifting her head so that they were eye-to-eye, and wiped the tears from her face. “Don’t even joke about going away. If you weren’t here, I couldn’t... I...”
“For what it’s worth, I don’t know what I’d do without you, either. All that time you were gone, I had you waking up to look forward to, but if you were…”
“Rainbow,” she said, shushing the pegasus and stopping any further talk. She hugged her then, and Rainbow hugged her back. There were no sounds for a long time, except the soft snores of animals and a light pitter-patter of rain on the roof.
“Sorry,” Dash sniffed.
“It’s okay,” came Fluttershy’s muffled reply, her face pressed into Dash’s mane. “We’ve both made some mistakes tonight.”
“Heh, yeah - If this is the worst argument we ever have, we’re probably the luckiest mares in Equestria.”
They laughed awkwardly together, each fervently hoping that was true; hidden in there was a silent acceptance that there would be more, but it was best not to think about it.
“Uh... Right!” Dash said, breaking the slightly tense moment with some difficulty. “Uh, we should be going to bed now, because we have to get up early, and stuff, because you need to learn some new stretches, and...”
“Oh, okay,” she replied. “Well, um... Goodnight.”
“Yeah... see you in the morning.”
Fluttershy returned to her room and closed the door, opening it a second later to see Rainbow trotting down the stairs. “Rainbow?” she called, softly so as to not wake up any creatures.
“Yeah?”
“I love you. Please... Don’t forget that.”
Dash was completely silent as she zipped back up to Fluttershy, giving her a quick kiss before the yellow mare even knew what was happening. “I love you too.”
And then she was gone, leaving Fluttershy standing at her door, longing for more.
She knew she didn’t deserve it though.
Eventually she returned to her bed, laying her head on the pillow once more. She tossed and turned; with Rainbow Dash seemingly… okay again, and the rain drying up, there was nothing else crying with her.
Suddenly, a tiny paw rested itself on her hoof, two beady eyes looking at her in worry and sympathy. Oh, Angel…
He hopped up beside her, stroking her mane as she poured out her soul onto her pillow, until finally, at long last, she fell asleep. But even in sleep she cried, tears rolling slowly down her sleeping face as her heart screamed in apology.
I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.